Adopted for God’s Purpose - Regan Donofrio

I went from a bad situation, so bad that they allowed me to be bodily removed from it. I was two, and by the time I was seven, my parents were legally divorced already. So I went from rocky to stable for like a year and a half to unstable, you know. And so as I got, when I was getting married, I was like, you know, like, I'm going to break this curse that's trying to attack this family. And especially after having known I was adopted, I said, no, man, you know, I am not doing this. I'm doing this once, and I am doing this right. And I began to look at what is what what family is. Hi, my name is Regan Dunalfriel. I am a pastor at Upper Room Christian World Center in Dix Hills, Long Island. I am a happily married man, celebrating 13 years of marriage this year. We have five children, and this is my faithfully story. Welcome to Faithfully Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders. As they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life, join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithfully Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithfully, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff, and volunteers. Learn more at Faithfully.co. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry on the Faithfully Stories podcast. Could you share me how your faith journey started? So my faith journey started, well, my dad's a pastor, and I grew up in the church. I actually got filled with the Holy Spirit when I was nine years old. Rodney Howard Brown, I don't know if you know, pastor Rodney Howard Brown. He's in Tampa, Florida. He's originally from South Africa. In the late 90s, there was a massive move of... It was like the laughter movement. I don't know if you're familiar with some of the laughter movement. And I thought it was a joke, you know, to be honest with you. And my dad had him come to our church and we were down in the office and I got hit. I don't even know what happened. I can't even... I can't even theologically tell you what happened. All I can tell you is experientially. I was consumed by the power and the presence of God and I was overtaken. I was raptured in that moment. That was the beginning, I would say. And then it didn't really... I was a kid, grew up. My parents were divorced. So I was dealing with a lot of that. And part of the way that I dealt with that was by not caring about things. So I was a master of chaos and confusion and foolishness in school. And when I was 16 years old, we have a school here at our church. So the church was founded in 1980 and the school was founded in 1981. My dad believed in Christian education from the beginning. It's been a part of the mission of the church. The school had an incredible revival. And I mean, we had three days where there was no school. I mean, young people crying out to God, healings taking place, kids that were involved in the youth group. They didn't go to school. Their parents came at the time. We had a seventh day Adventist who was our music teacher. You know, I was just praying for people. You know, I didn't know what to do. You know, again, another thing that I did not have theology for. It was just, I was thrown into this encounter, this experience with God, you know. And I was praying for people, a lady got healed of a tumor. He went to tap me on the shoulder. And as I turned around, he immediately starts breaking down crying. He gets filled with the spirit for the first time. I mean, it was just an absolute supernatural encounter. It was an experience that changed my life. I felt like the woman at the well, you know, when she ran into town, I said, I just met a man who told me everything about my life, come and see. You know, I was completely overtaken by the power and the presence of God. And it was in that, in the thrills of that, that I promised God. That's when I had my come to Jesus moment. I knew of God. I was always in church. But I didn't really serve God for myself until I was 16 years old. And I told God, I said, God, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. I promise, I promise to stay humble. I promise to give you the glory. And that's been the footprint, that's been the anchor of all of ministry that I have been able to be a part of through the years, which includes, you know, I told God, whatever you want. And it included, I was actually, I was the leader of a dance troupe in the early 2000s. We have plays here at our church that are pretty, they're pretty known on Long Island. I started doing, being a part of those plays because I just said, God, whatever, whatever you want me to do, I just want to help. I just want to be a part. I started acting. I started playing music. I started playing bass in the, in, and I started playing drums. Then I started preaching. There was, there was a whole host of things that, that I had been involved with because I did not limit how God wanted to use me. I just said, God, just use me, help you want to, and I'll give you my yes. And I truly believe that when I look over my life, you know, I've preached in seven countries, which is, you know, that's not, it's not, you know, an incredible amount. I've preached in 17 of the 52 states in America. Again, there are people well more traveled than I am. But just to see where my life has gone from just a simple yes, just, just being willing to be used by God has been absolutely incredible. So my journey started with a yes and prayerfully will continue with a yes, whatever God wants me to do. Where'd you grow up? So I grew up in, in Dixhill's Long Island where the church is an interesting story. I guess, I guess this is how we can get into it. I was actually adopted when I was two years old. I was born in Florida to a family that ended up not having the financial means or the emotional constitution to raise me. And I found all this out when I was 18, by the way, when I was two years old, I had two older sisters. I was the baby of that family. My mom, her parents moved to Florida. My parents, my mom and my dad who raised me, you know, it takes sacrifice, it takes dedication, it takes selflessness to be a parent, you know, anyone can enjoy the pleasure of an evening. But it, you know, to really take on the mantle of father, to take on the mantle of mother, it requires sacrifice. So I actually, my parents, the ones who raised me, no disrespect to my biological family, but that's just kind of the way it is. So my mom's mom is the, in the children's church, at the church in Florida where my biological family was, and I was in the daycare there. And they found out that there was a little boy who potentially could be up for adoption. My parents were not able to have children for whatever reason. And that was how the connection happened. It was, thanks, 1980s, that I came to New York and became, who I'm supposed to be, a denofrio. Thanksgiving is always a very special time, you know, of reflection from me. I have, I have a lot to be thankful for. Going back to where did you grow up? I grew up in, in Long Island, New York and involved in sports my whole life. I am absolutely a jock, 100%, I hated school, I love sports. My favorite subject was recess and gym, you know, so I fit the bill. I'm totally, what do you call that? I'm totally pegged when it comes to being a jock. You sound like all the Long Island boys in there, I know. I'll tell you how you know I'm so much longer than that. They say water and coffee. That's how you know, that's how you know someone's from Long Island. I'm like, I don't have the accent, you have the accent. Do you ever reconnect with your biological family? Yeah, so it's an incredible story. So I was graduating high school when I was 18 years old and I had just come in off a day on our boat at the, you know, we had a boat and it was a magnificent day. The end of the school year is kind of an emotional, you know, you think it, it's the first major transition point of life for a young person, I would say. You know, the end of a chapter in the beginning of a new one, you know. And so there was all of that happening, you know, with my newfound connection to feeling and Christ, you know, just totally revived me from not giving a rip to now, you know, learning sensibilities and a healthy and a godly way and being sensitive. So I was having these things and so I get home from the boat about three or three or four of my friends were with me. I see them off, I get home, my dad's sitting in the kitchen and he has his head down on the table like this and I think to myself, man, that's kind of strength. He doesn't only hang out in the kitchen like that and he kind of looks, you know, like a, like a lost puppy. And so I said, hey, dad, what's going on going to the kitchen? He says, like, how was it? How was your day? I'm like, I was fantastic. I'm getting, you know, something to drink and then the phone rings. He says, it's for you. It's for me. What? What does that mean? Like I know you're, you're, you're prophetic, dad, but so I head to the phone and I hear this scared, timid female voice on the other line and she says, I don't know if you're going to believe this, but I'm your sister. So I say, okay, I'm 18 years old, up until that point, my mom tried to tell me like once or twice, I was like, whatever, you know, I was dealing with trying to keep my head afloat being a pastor's kid and dealing with a divorced family. That's, that's the honest truth. You know, I, I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to care about something that I couldn't do anything about anyway. I'm already dealing with the situation that I can't do anything about, but, but just prayerfully endure, you know? And so I thought maybe I had a sibling. Honestly, when I was like 13, 14, I thought I might have had a twin, I was like, you know, whatever. There's, there's another handsome guy out there, you know? So when she calls me, I'm like, okay, and then we begin, we begin talking. We end up talking for two hours. She's like, don't do the things that she likes and I'm like, wow, this is crazy. She's like, I love macaroni and cheese. I'm like, oh my god, I love macaroni and cheese. This is incredible. Do we, are we siblings? Like this is crazy and we start talking and, and then we three way call my older sister who, who's 10 years older than me and she, she was actually, I come to find out later on. She was taking care of me. My biological mother is, she, she battled serious depression and was just absolutely unable to care for us at the time. It was, it was a very bad financial situation. My biological dad was a tugboat captain. He was out for months and months at a time and my biological mother was left by herself dealing with this trauma, this condition. And so my, my 10 year old sister at the time, she would care for me. She would change my diapers. I learned all this over the years. This is not just in this first phone call, you know. And so we have this conversation. Everyone's on the call. I, I three way call my other sisters because I have three sisters actually. After I was given up for adoption, my biologic parents divorced because of the, it was just too much for them to handle. The family was just completely torn apart. They got back together again, they got married and they had another child, my, my youngest sister, Tara, who was born on my birthday, August 2nd, exactly four years to the day. And they took that as a sign from God that they had done the right thing in, in giving me up for adoption. You know, I'll, I'll be honest with you, it's, it's really a crazy, when I look at it now. I mean, I, I have five children, three daughters and one son, that's four kids, four daughters and one son, forgive me, I didn't do well in math. And, you know, to, to lose the namesake, the name is not passed on. I'm not passing on the last name, Stekker, that, that was my birth name. I'm passing on the last name, Denoffrio, you know, and so just from a natural standpoint, like the whole thing is just, it's, it's such, there's such divine providence in it, you know, and we're talking, and we end up flying them up. My dad flew them up to be a part of my graduation. And at the first time I met them was at my, you know, the weekend of my high school graduation. And so I was, I was the most insecure I've ever been in my life. I've never been that insecure before and have never been that insecure since. I, I was panicking that people were going to think I was a fraud. I was panicking, you're not, you're not a real Denoffrio. My identity was in question from my perspective. I was, I was excited to meet them, but I was also very concerned, you know, I was concerned about how my, my parents were going to handle it. I was concerned about how my friends and my family were going to handle it. I was concerned about how the church was going to handle it, you know, because, you know, I grew up not as a public figure, but a semi, a semi public figure, you know, and even, you know, today I'm, I'm, I'm not like a soul, you know, celebrity or like a well-known person, but within my community, you know, there are people that like my life, you know, is observed more than others, you know, and so I'm like, they're going to think my dad was sleeping around, they're going to think, you know, I was just, I mean, I was so nervous, I was so scared. My sister, Sarah, who was born on my birthday, I mean, we look like we could be twins. She looks exact, I mean, I think I look better as a man personally, but we could be twins. And so one of, so when, when they first came, we come down to the office and she, they're going to use the bathroom, and there's a lady, one of the church members at the time, she comes over and she goes, my God, you guys look so much alike, has anyone ever told you that? I was like, no, I was like, oh my God, I, there's no hiding this, there's no hiding this, you know, and I was nervous, I was scared, but, but thank you, Jesus, I thank God for the character and the love of my family and the people around me and the church members, they received my sisters with open arms, they, they never questioned who I was. And it was, I still got emotional thinking about it, to be honest with you, it was such a revelation to me, you know, on so many levels, to learn about that past and the story, the abuse that had gone on in that situation and then for us to reconnect. And then also to look at my life and to see how on purpose, I mean, I am, I mean, I was, I was literally brought here for this, you know, so I, so I have this, this thing that I always say, like I was born for this, like I, I am so certain, I am so sure that God brought me here, brought me to earth, brought me to New York for, for a specific assignment to be used by him. I mean, it is so evidently clear to me. And, and my hope is that when I share my story, is that others would be able to know that you are just as on purpose as I am. Maybe your story is not my story, but, but you have a story. And in that story, God's glory is going to be revealed through the process, through the pain, through the joy, through the trials, through, through possibly some losses. But in the end, it's about revealing God's plan and God's love that he has for each one of us. And so I don't mean to give a plug, but I actually, I wrote a book called Love Me Through It All. And, so how, how this book came about, so the title, Love Me Through It All, I actually, I was having a conversation with my sister, Samara. She's the one who found me when I was 18. And we were having this conversation. My, my youngest sister, she was, she was dealing with a situation with, you know, with a serious identity crisis. She was in a relationship, a same sex relationship, and the family is fourth generation Christian. And so it was, it was a very tough time for them dealing with that. She's since moved on from that. And she's married. She has three girls. But it was, it was, it was a tumultuous time just trying to navigate that and I try to lose her, but, but also trying to help her find the truth in the whole situation. And she was just talking, talking, talking. This is maybe four years after we had, you know, reconnected. I say met, but technically reconnected. And so she hangs up the phone. I hardly said anything. I was just, I was just a sounding boy pretty much, you know, and it's about 1230 in the morning. She texted me. She's like, did I, did I complicate your life finding you? Are you mad that I found you? You know, which is a very valid question, you know, because she literally rocked my world, you know, literally changed my entire perspective, my entire outlook on life, you know. And so I immediately I texted her back and I said, no, I, I thank you. I thank God that you found me because you showed me how important I am to God, that that God would allow all of this and orchestrate through all this mess to bring a message. And so I sat there, who's about 1245 A.M. I was sitting there on my couch in my bathrobe and I got my guitar and I had tears just pouring down my eyes and I started singing. I wrote this song called Thank You that you love me through it all. You know, I wrote that song and it's actually, there's a QR code in the back of the book to hear that song and the song came from the understanding of my adoption and how I came to be here. And so after all of that, some years later, I said, man, this could be a book. This story is intense. So what I did was I asked Samara, my sister Samara, my sister Rebecca, who was the oldest sister who took care of me. I spoke to my dad who raised me and my perspective. And I melded the stories of Samara's perspective, Rebecca's perspective, my dad's perspective, and my perspective. And so there's pieces where it starts and stops, and then another piece starts and comes together. And you see this whole unfolding. You see tragedy, you see the wilderness, you see just a family being ripped apart, but then you see it coming back together by the hand of God. And so this book, love me through it all, is the book. And I actually had the forward done by Pastor Samuel Rodriguez. I don't know if you know Pastor Sammy. He's out of Sacramento. He's one of my spiritual overseers and a mentor to me. And this is the first time my first book that I've ever written. And just to get it on paper, to write it down the story of God's incredible hand, how it moved, even through tragedy. And again, the purpose is not just to share my story. The purpose is to let others know that whatever you have gone through, we all have a story, whatever you have gone through. God is loving you through all, through it all. And he is bringing you to an expected end. Stay the course, you know, God is for you, you know, be encouraged through through what you're dealing with. Yeah, that's where I grew up and that's where I came from. Yeah, I mean, that's why we called this faithfully stories because I realized there's power in the story. It resonates with the human art, kind of like helps us kind of be in the story, but also kind of like resonates like who am I in the character of my story and stuff like that. So the redemption story is just a healing story of what was broken. And then God kind of like brings together. So yeah, you have such a beautiful family story. How did that experience shape you as a husband and a father? Yeah, every child. So we got married. And my focus, again, was my experience growing up. I didn't want to get married. So let's start from the bottom. Let's start from the base level. Growing up as a youth in Christianity, celibacy is one of the tenets of our faith, right? And I believe in that. And so all of my friends, you know, the idea is, once you get married, you're legal. You know, now it's party time, you know, and saying, not with everyone with your spouse, you know, the marriage bed is undefiled, you know. And so we, you know, that was the whole thing, you know. But I remember we were sitting around having a fire on a summer night, you know, and, and, you know, the fellas, we're having, you know, we're having fellow, you know, guy talk, you know, man, you know, I can't wait to get married. You know, Lord, help me, you know, that. And I was like, man, I really hate to throw a wet blanket on this party. But I don't, I don't want to have, I don't want to get married to have sex. I want to get married to restore what was stolen from me. Your family has been, was, it was stolen from me. It was, it's been an attack. From before I was, I was conscious, family was, well, I mean, I was, I don't remember any, any, any time spent in Florida. So from before I could remember, I went from a bad situation. So bad that they had, they allowed me to be bodily removed from it. I was two, and by the time I was seven, my parents were legally divorced already, you know, so I went from rocky to stable for like a year and a half to unstable, you know, and so as I got, when I, when I was getting married, I was like, yo, like, I'm, I'm, I'm going to break this curse that's, that's trying to attack this family, you know, like, I'm not, I'm not going to allow that, you know, like in Jesus' name, you know, like, obviously it's all God. You know, but my focus was, you know, and then especially after having known I was adopted, I said, no, man, you know, I am not doing this. I'm doing this once, and, and I am doing this right. And I begin to look at what is, what, what family is, you know, the man and the woman coming together to become one, that's the image of God in the earth. That's what marriage is. Marriage is the coming together of the image of God in the earth. And if the image of God can get marred, if the image of God can be distorted, then, then, then the entire society goes into anarchy. I believe if we have strong families, we'll have strong societies. I believe that the key to gun control is not necessarily stronger legislation, but stronger fathers. I believe that the problem, the solution to the gang issue is not necessarily better policing, although we do want that. And proper policing, not people using, you know, excessive force, you know, like, using discernment, like, we need that, we want that. But that's not the real solution. The real solution is when you look at all of these gang members, their families were broken. They, how many, how many of them came up in the forced to care system? They had no structure. And so, so when I, when we embarked on having our family, you know, I'm taking all of this into account. And so all of my experience and then my understanding where I came from has formed and shaped me into having such a conviction about the strength of family, the necessity of family, the, the most powerful seat in, in all of the world is a seat at the table with your family. You can change, we can change the world by having dinner together, by imparting truth, by, by, by helping with conflict resolution, by telling our kids we love them. But you know, you know, how many relational issues are because people are insecure? I mean, I mean, it's unbelievable. Jesus didn't even start his ministry until he had the father's affirmation. This is my son and whom I'm well pleased. The father's affirmation and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. He was in dude with power from on high. Then he told his disciples, you can't move until you get this Holy Ghost. Stay here. I'm going to send you the comforter. And when he comes, then go. So, so there's there's a structure. There's a support system that we all need. And I truly believe it starts with family. And so has our family, you know, is everything perfect all the time in my house? Of course not. We've been married, Jacqueline and I, we've been married this, this, this July will be 13 years. And we have had two fights in 13 years, but they were like fights, you know what I'm saying? Like it was like, it was like a disaster. And so I'm like, you know, we're going to, we're going to stay the course. I am every time I have the opportunity, I'm graced with the privilege of being able to speak to God's people. I always pray for families because I believe if you have strong families, you'll have a strong church. And if you have a strong church, you have a strong community. And that spreads throughout the country. You'll have a strong country. If first, if you have strong family structures. So anything that's anti-family is against the original institution that God has started. God didn't start the church until Acts chapter two. He started the family in Genesis chapter one. Family is the number one, is the first institution that God ever ordained. And within that family is the dominion mandate. Our power is within that. So how has that shaped you? 100% that has shaped me. And every, I'll be out. Can I say another thing? Every time that one of my kids turned two years old because that was when I was giving up for adoption. I say, oh my God, I could, I don't even know, you know, and I go from bewilderment. How could this be? And then I slip into empathy and say, wow, what kind of a dark place could you have been in? That the only viable option is to give him up. I have no regret. I have no animosity. Like I told you previously, I know 100% a thousand percent. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This is the life that God has ordained for me. No question. But at the same time, I see the human side of me. And then I see Regan, my son, he's the baby of our family. I was the baby of my family at the time. He says, I'm just like, it's unbelievable to me, you know, the whole story. And it has shaped me. And prayerfully, it's making me a better husband and a better father because of the reflection that I'm able to have knowing what I know about family and having experienced what I've experienced about family. How has been the dad of four girls shaped you as a man? Can I be real? I'm just going to be very honest with you. The hardest part of being a father and husband for that matter, but talking about being a father, the hardest part about being a father for me is not doing what I want to do when I want to do it. There is a stubbornness meltdowns. And I have gotten so frustrated, you know, it's gotten better, but the slow pace of being able to move. So our kids are 12, 10, 7, 6, and 4. So, I mean, we had three in diapers at one time. We had six pregnancies in eight years. I mean, Jack couldn't keep her hands off me, you know, so I was just, you know, I said, God bless her. You know, I tell my kids, I love them and I'm proud of them. I've said it from from when the first day that they came home from the first time I saw them, I held them, I told them I'm proud of them, you know, I love my dad. I know my dad is proud of me now more than ever, but growing up, I didn't, I didn't hear it that much. I think it's just, it was a generational thing. I don't think he heard it from his dad and I don't think it was necessarily a major thing for them, you know, to want to change. You know, but for me, that was something that I wanted to change. I wanted my kids not only to know it by how the Lord is empowering me to provide for them and protect them through his descendants and through his provisions, but I also want them to hear it. I'm proud of you. I tell my daughters, you know, you're going to be a great wife. You're going to be a great mom. I tell Regan, you're going to be, you're going to be an incredible husband son, you know, I'm proud of you. That's something that I know how powerful the affirmation of a father is, you know, and so I want to, I want them to feel that and know that at an early age because I believe that that's going to keep them out of trouble. That's going to keep them falling for, you know, traps and enticements of the enemy. It's been, it's been something that that is still making me into a man, you know, and I am grateful for the process, but it's not always been easy. How did you meet your wife? So this is, this is one of those things. Remember, I told you, I said, God, I want to be used any way you want to use me. So we were having, we were doing one of our plays. At the time, American Idol was, was popping was very big. So we had like an American idol scene and I was, I was playing the role of a guy, you know how they have like the terrible singers and then the good singers. I was one of the terrible singers, you know, and my name was Jamie Ramsey. And we were running the play for an extended period of time. And it was like seven, eight weeks every Friday night. We were running it. And so some of the people that were originally involved, they had prior commitments because we kept, we kept going because of how many people kept coming to the shows. There was a need for someone to fill in a spot. And so Jacqueline was asked, we had been, she had grown up in the church, she had left for a season, then came back during that revival in 2001. When God, you know, when my life changed, she was in that and a part of that. But we had never met. We were at the, at parties at the same time. We were, we were in a house, the same house. And I didn't even see her there, you know, I mean, I mean, just totally did not see her. Totally. She was veiled. She was covered from me. And so she says, yes, to be a part of the show, it's rehearsal. We were actually having the call out rehearsal. The, I was leading that dance team at the time. And so she comes walking in to do a rehearsal. And my hand is just on a swivel. I'm like, what the jiggles? Who's that lady? Like, who are you? You know, like, where'd you come from? You know, and so she was there. And then she's, I'm like, she's in the show. So I'm hanging out in the green room. And I'm like, what? You know, I felt like, I felt like Jesus. Like, how can you haven't showed yourself to the priest? You know, like, like, when he was talking to the, the lepers, after they were clans, go show yourself to the priest. Where have you been? I mean, I know I'm here. How come I haven't seen you? You know, and so it was from that, from her obedience to being in that, that sparked, or that was the moment that my eyes were open. And we started, we started a friendship. And from that point on, it was two years from hello to I do. So we dated. And we started dating in August. And by February, I heard God speak to me something very profound. I wasn't even asking. I had, I had woken up in the, you know, in the morning. And kind of just still just in this dream state coming to consciousness. And I heard the Lord say, don't marry her because you love her. Marry her because I said, yes. You know, and that's, you know, I have seen many great women and many great men far more talented, far, far greater inability and gifting than me completely, completely destroy their lives from marrying the wrong person. You know, and I wasn't asking, but I took that as, as God saying, yes. You know, you know, and, and so that was, I had, I had God's yes, you know, and it was about six months into the relationship. I said, all right, I'm going to wait, you know, till, till around our anniversary, our dating anniversary, which would be another six months, but I'm 90% sure that this is what God is saying to me. You know, and so I talked to my dad and he said, son, you know, I can't make the decision for you, you know, but I'm behind you 100% for what it's worth. I think, I think she's a great woman, you know, she's a great girl. And he allowed me to make that decision. It's, it's, it's been, Jacqueline has been an incredible, okay, let me put it this way. She's the best PR move I have ever made in my life. The moment Jacqueline became my wife, all of a sudden, they started taking me more serious, you know, it was like, it was unbelievable. And then the kids forget, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a legit person now. I go, I went from being Regan, the court jester, not giving a rip to now, wow, he's, he's got a family and he's, wow, it is this beautiful woman and she's smart and she's intelligent, you know, and she, I didn't know it, but God, God was giving me a solution to a giant in my life when I married Jacqueline. So when I was getting married, the day before, I was getting married, I was praying and God spoke to me. And I've never heard this before and I've not heard it since. So what I'm, what I'm going to tell you, I've never heard applied this way. I've never heard anyone say it again. The Lord spoke to me and he reminded me of when the children of Israel came to the waters of, there were these bitter waters that they could not drink in the wilderness. And the Lord told Moses to throw, to get a stick, to get a branch and throw the branch into the bitter waters. Mary, Maryam had come and told them, we can't drink this water, come and these waters that were bitter, they were undrinkable, they were, they were unsanitary, they were, it was unbearable through this branch in the waters. And then the waters that were bitter became sweet. And the Lord told me that Jacqueline was my branch. Jacqueline would, would take the bitter waters of family that I, that I had endured, that, that was unbearable at times. And, and she would come and she was the branch that would make those waters sweet. Things are not always perfect. Do we have situations come up? Sure, 100%. Even when it's right, it's still tight. But I know 100% that God gave me Jacqueline. Jacqueline, you know, when, when, when man looks for us, for, looks for a remedy, man looks for a plan to fix a situation. God doesn't look for a plan. God looks for a person. God sends a man or a woman as the solution for the problem. God sent me Jacqueline. I didn't choose her. God chose her. I listened to God. That's what happened. And not only did she help heal the waters, the bitter waters of family. But as I, as I told you evidently, she helped heal the bitter waters of my schylactics and my, my learning as well. And so my, my, my hope is that everyone would listen to God when it comes to marrying the right person for you. You know, because I tell my church all the time, God is not going to send you in a relationship that's going to end in debacle. God, God's not going to set you up in a situation that's going to end in divorce. It's going to end in, in, in misery. He leads us not to stormy waters. Psalms 23. He leads us besides still waters. He brings us to green pastures. He's not going to lead us to deserts and dead ends. Yeah, will we go through deserts? Yeah. But, but you're, you're in the stem. I'm saying it's not going to be a problem. You're going to have problems. But the situation is not going to be a problem. So there's going to be a storm around you. But as long as the storm isn't between you, you, you're good. Water hitting the boat is different than water in the boat. And God, God's not going to send you a boat with a hole in it. I'm a, I'm a testimony of that. And so I know I said a lot. I'll, I'll stop now. But that's, that's who Jacqueline is to me. You know, she, she's who God sent me on so many levels that has helped bring about the plan of God for my life. How did you get connected with Upper Room? Was that your dad church? Yes. Yep. So my dad started the church. He got saved radically in 1974. And right from there, he was a hippie, a guitar player. The only reason why I play guitar is because there was a 19th telecaster, but a Scotch telecaster that I still play. I still have to this day. That was my dad's. He's seen him play and always having that guitar around and it was always out, um, invite me to play to be a one, I want to be a player. And um, he started him Brooklyn. And then he felt God call him to, to, to, to Long Island. And so he came out to Long Island in 1977 started in the basement of a family family member, his cousin. And the basement grew and grew and grew signs and wonders miracles. I mean, the revival that was happening. It was a happening. And in 1980, they bought a piece of property that we are, that were on today. Uh, the faith of my grandfather who passed away before any of the building was put up. He never saw any of it. But it was his face that said, this is the property at the time it was a horse farm. My dad didn't have the faith for it. He, he was looking at a smaller building, something that was more reasonable. But don't you know that faith often is unreasonable and it requires us to press beyond where we've ever been before. And so he said, okay, dad, we'll do it. And the first building that was built on this property was done in 90 days, three months. So, 1980, August 29th, 1980 was the first Sunday on this property that we now have. And from there, the church continued to grow and grow and grow. Five building expansions ended up building a 30,000 square foot auditorium. And so we have a gymnasium. It's unbelievable what God has done through the vision that my dad has cast and and the generosity of God's people, you know, through the years. And so after I came to, to know Jesus personally, that really, I didn't know it, but that really began my path to becoming a pastor. I was ordained a pastor in 2008. And then this August will be two years now that I've been senior pastor here at the church. And it's been truly an incredible roller coaster. And we just get started. I'm so excited for what's next and what God is now doing here with the church. And to be a part of this legacy is an honor. One of the things that I hope is that, you know, I'm proud to be my dad's son. You know, it's one thing to be proud of your kids. But it's another thing to have your kids to be proud of you. And my hope is that my kids will be proud to be my children, just like I'm proud to be my dad's son, you know, because it's truly been a blessing. I would not be who I am, you know, if it wasn't for him, you know, and he's an unbelievable man. He's an unbelievable man. I'm thankful to God to have him. You said you had some music and coming out. What's that about? Yeah. So I have music on iTunes. My first album I released in 2010, the end of 2010, really 2011. And that's where the song, Your Love, that's on that album. The song, Love Me Through It All, is on that album. So I then got married in 2011 and we were thrown into this baby-making thing, you know. So the music kind of just sat for a while, you know, because, you know, if you don't sell the music, the music doesn't sell, you know, it's anything with books. Books don't sell. You sell books, you know. And so it kind of sat, but I was still writing. I was still playing. And then so 2020, I released a single after, you know, so many year hiatus called Right There. Right there the whole time. And then I continue to write. And my most recent release is I've got Joy just released in November. A lot of fun that song, it's available on all streaming platforms. This book is available on Amazon as well. All of the proceeds go to feed my children because I have five of them. Do you have anyone who wants to know where the money's going? It's going to my kids. Yeah, I'm excited about the music. I have more music that's coming as well. It's in the works right now. We've been in the studio. Oh yeah, music is a part of my life. I can't get away from it, you know. And I'm also prayerful to continue to write a few more books as well. Just because I feel like getting the message out, putting it on paper, you know, there's something, there's something special about that. You know, and I'm grateful to have been able to do that with this book as well. I have last two questions. What are you hoping for at Faithly? You know, I'm hoping for an opportunity to share my story, to meet other people, to be a part of a faith community that's a part of the solution and not the problem. There are so many issues that don't have answers. You know, my hope is that Faithly can become an answer for people, can become part of the solution, can become, you know, something that God can use to bring people closer to Him and closer to each other. And how can we be praying for you and your family right now? You know, the thing that I pray for the most is wisdom. There's not a thing that I pray for more. You know, the life that we live is the amalgamation of the choices that we make. And if we can make better choices, we can live better lives. You know, and that all has to do with wisdom, that all has to do with processing, that all has to do with the information that you get and what you do with that information. You know, and so as a husband, I need wisdom. As a father, I need wisdom. As a pastor, I need wisdom. You know, so my prayers for wisdom. So if you could add that to your prayer list, I mean, I would be forever grateful. Yeah, of course, we all need wisdom. I'll write you now. Thanks for coming on the podcast. It was fun. Yeah, man, I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. All right, that's it for the podcast, guys. Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff, and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration, and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful, and never underestimate the power of your own story.