Attune to Grow - Tracy Mathews | Faithly Stories

As you taste and see how good it is like you just want more and so a tune has a particular approach but there are a bunch of approaches out there and it's kind of like an over time you probably gonna learn okay this kind of stuff is helpful and this kind of scenario and oh by the way my friend could really use some attunement it's like a long-term journey that leads to fullness of life and that freedom that we were talking about all of us will experience better life if we continually kind of lean in to deeper ways to connect with God welcome to Faithly Stories the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life brought to you by Faithly an online community committed to empowering church leaders learn more at Faithly.co get ready to be uplifted and inspired on the Faithly Stories podcast Tracy Matthews welcome to the Faithly Stories podcast Alicia thanks so much for having me it is a joy to be here I love what you guys are up to thank you thank you and Tracy we talked not too long ago and I learned so much about you and your background and about a tune and I'm excited to learn more today and what I'm really excited to do is something we don't normally do on our podcast we're gonna go through a real life attuned to grow exercise where I will bring you a real life scenario that I'm struggling with right now in my life and you're gonna take me through one of the exercises and we're just gonna share that with our audience so I'm really excited about that but before we get there I want to dig a little bit into your background and into a tune and what exactly it is and so you were part of starting a tune right about 10 years ago you're the executive director but before we even talk about that let's talk about your background because like me you have a somewhat unconventional background for someone who's like in and around this ministry world you went to business school you started in corporate so can you take us through your journey a little bit yeah I'd be glad to yeah so I'm gonna start us in 2007 when I was at a corporate biotech startup and I come to faith in undergrad like 2000 ish but in roughly 2007 like late 2007 I had what I would describe as my first known encounter with the Holy Spirit it just wasn't part of the face traditions I had been raised in so I didn't know that kind of stuff still happened but it was undeniable and had me in tears and I ended up going to my pastor like this just happened and he had he he knew enough to affirm the encounter and actually put me in touch with a woman who is still my spiritual director all these years later and I will say outside of Jesus himself she's probably the biggest single influence on my spiritual journey and it changed the trajectory of my life so working with her I mean I can't say enough I mean she helped me find the emotion at the end of the day spiritual directors help you learn to notice the movement of God in your life well know with that there's so much undoing that my spiritual director helped me with and a reforming into things that were much more aligned with God and his truth and his design for me and my identity and all that stuff and along the way I went to her mostly with like I think in that encounter there was a strong sense of calling and I'm like what am I supposed to do because the God of the universe has a calling for me like I don't know I don't know how to do this and she actually helped me discern over a while that it wasn't yet time for that career switch that got had a lot to teach me what she did and I would say actually over the next oh that was 2008 probably and it wasn't until 2015 that I discerned it was it was actually timed for the career change and between then all these times of intentional discernment like okay is it now or now and every time I would hear you'll be still Tracy like I have a lot a lot of be still and God was totally changing and transforming me so I'm so thankful but fast forward to 2015 I discern again and expect fully to hear be still because that's what I always end up hearing and instead what I hear like right off the bat is don't be afraid hmm wow okay so I want to pause there for a second I love this phrase that you used overextended sense of agency I'm gonna use that for myself I hear just wait a lot from the Lord just wait and I can't wait until I hear like don't be scared I'm still I'm still waiting to hear that in some ways in what I'm doing but thank you for sharing that and for sharing that it took seven years between the time where he told you change was coming that you had a calling until the the day that you began to live out that new calling oh yeah and I would say I love that you highlighted these two things because I'm guessing a lot of ministry leaders are struggling today with the sense of weight um I'm going to use I'm going to use that double entendre so wait as in weight on our shoulders and wait as in the the the timing of God is just not at all our own timing so like seven years sounds forever like why would you tell me way back then if it's not time to move until so both of those I mean at a tune now we use this from scandalously patient I love that would be idea of like we we know patients has a fruit of the spirit like patients is good but you put it in like a leadership setting and especially an organizational leadership setting and all of a sudden it's like oh no you shouldn't be patient you should be like aggressive and like go get it yeah yeah so it has been a a learning curve I love that it's revolutionary to someone like me who comes from a Wall Street background where patient is really just another word for uncommercial and unproductive yeah and but you know we come to learn when you're building for the kingdom and when you just use develop a sort of different worldview that actually there's a reason why it's a fruit of the Holy Spirit right and ultimately in learning it along with it comes free so that like wait on your shoulder wait as we learn the ways of God it that it's actually not up to us to figure it out and make it happen that he is he is the one doing the heavy lifting and simply inviting us to do it with him all of a sudden for me I I use that word freedom like that's the best it's hard to put into words right but that's the best that's the most frequent word that comes up that like this way of leading feels like freedom yeah well I think many of us spend a lifetime looking for freedom but not really knowing the source or how to get there so I love that all right so tell me about attune to grow yes so attune is a ministry that exists mostly to train leaders and teams in how to better tap into the presence and guidance of God in their daily work and leadership so we provide training most people most ministry leaders we encounter can kind of point to a few times in their ministry careers where they they've had a strong sense of encounter with the Holy like the presence of God and guidance from God and that's wonderful and good but we know from scripture that God is with us and has good guidance for every situation we face right so that idea of like how do we increase the frequency of this connection with God especially kind of where the game of leadership is played in our in our daily work teams and locations and spaces so that's that's amazing and so there's different ways to interact with attune for example you have some resources right on your website where people can take themselves through some of these exercises you've designed to help people to do that they can also engage with you all so tell me a little bit more about those interactions are you working with individuals or groups as it churches and corporations definitely so the main target market of attune would be leaders of teams and organizations and even like ecosystems who want to see their system cultivate a an ecosystem wide culture of attunement so that's kind of the main lane of attune but that requires the attunement at every level and so we do try and make resources available for individuals to interact with attunement too because if we don't have the muscles ourselves then when we play the game as a team you know it's you know we go so well right so we do have something called a practice page off of our website attune2gro.org slash practice where you can find some audio guided exercises and worksheets to take you through you know guided exercises designed to help you take your specific situations where you want God's help and hopefully get more of God's help and then in terms of interacting with attune we get brought in to do like team facilitation stuff and we offer training cohorts for leaders who are like ready to kind of up their game in terms of a whole new way of leading that is much more attuned to the spirit cool well so I need to start out by saying I did one of the the audio guided exercises on your website and I was blown away I mean I had high expectations and I've had personal encounters with God and and and I know what intimacy with God feels like and it helped me it helped me and so I'm so excited to now go through a live exercise with you guided by you and so I'd love to dig in now yes I would love that and I would actually love your listeners to engage as well so if you might want to take a pause and think about a specific situation that you're facing this is taking on each person what's a situation that you want God's help with we're going to do an exercise called search me and know me and one that is particularly helpful when we're experiencing some stronger reactions or emotions so it can be anything from a work situation of hey I I got asked to do this new thing and I'm so nervous or how do I design this widget or like my my customer is being impossible or my three year old won't pursue on or you know my in-laws are coming I don't know what to make for dinner whatever God is with us has good guidance for every situation we face so hopefully there's some situation coming to mind and just to warm us up I'll invite us to maybe if it's okay for your listeners to lay down any kind of multitasking they might be doing if you're driving you can do this but you might want to wait until you're kind of in a still spot and you might even find yourself in a private space where you can maybe close your eyes or soften your gaze and take a couple of deep breaths as I open a sucking breath gracious God we thank you for being a God who is with us in every situation we face we know and we trust that you have good guidance for us so open up our deeper ears to hear give us more of your eyes to see before we do love you and we do trust you and we ultimately want more of what you want for us we pray all this in the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit Amen Amen so the first thing I'll invite you to do is related to this particular situation go ahead and ask God to bring back relevant scenes related to this situation maybe it's when you first learned about it or maybe just key moments and what's unfolded you might even fast forward a bit to key moments you think might be coming down the pike but just let these scenes flash before your mind and as he seems flash before your mind see if you can notice a name one or two of the strongest emotions that play are ways that you feel and perhaps notice any underlying thoughts to those emotions and as you give voice to those one or two strongest emotions see if you can get a sense for where in your physical body you must feel those emotions it might be I feel it in my jaw or my heart and my stomach or my fingertips where in your physical body do you most feel those emotions once you've identified where in your physical body you most feel is one or two emotions go ahead and focus in on that physical sensation those emotions even expand upon them if you're able, exaggerate them if you're able and see if you can put some metaphor to the physical sensation it might be my stomach feels like like a led ball or it might be my heart feels like it's just a ball of ooze like there's electricity in my fingertips holding on where you feel this and see if you can put some metaphor to it what is it like and as you've noticed the physical sensation the metaphor their emotions see if you can get a sense for what your body might be showing you what might your body be showing you when you're ready go back to the physical sensation the metaphor the emotions feel it and now see if you can get a sense for what your physical body wants to do in response what does your physical body want to do does it want to run away and hide does it want to fight does it want to do a happy dance go for a run take a nap what does your physical body want to do and once you've got a sense of it go ahead and visualize yourself starting to do this thing that your physical body wants to do and as you see yourself starting to do this thing that your physical body wants to do go ahead and allow yourself to become aware of God's presence somewhere in this maybe Jesus is there or shows up or maybe you see God in the wind or the waves or the other people or a burning bush as you see yourself starting to do this thing that your body wants to do just keep looking around until you can see God's presence somewhere in this thing and if and as you're able to see God's presence just let this thing play out notice how God interacts with you and with the scene as you let the scene play out and as you're able to see if you can get a sense for God's hearts posture toward you and toward this thing how does God feel towards you and towards this scene is he intense or relax joyful or sad concerned compassionate how does God feel towards you and towards the scene that's playing out when you're ready see if you can summarize your best sense of God's guidance and heart for you and if you've got a notepad or a reward doctor might even write it down it's going to help you clarify and connect see if you can capture your best sense of God's guidance and heart for you you you you you you give you another 20 seconds or so up to your best sense of God's guidance and heart you read and when you're ready the invitation now is to go back through your best sense of God's guidance and heart and test it and we recognize that learning to recognize which voice in our heads is God's take some learning and usually is a lifelong journey so the way we like to test it at a pun is to consider does it conform to the truth of scripture and usually the harder bar to pass does it actually engender the fruit of the spirit within me so just read back through anything you've captured just set aside our strength through anything that doesn't pass like we'll boast and with whatever does pass trust our last step is what we call our ghost step knowing that often we can get into motion God will show us more as we go so we encourage people with their best sense of God's guidance and heart to come up with at least one near term actionable next step they can take to get moving in the direction of their best sense of God's guidance and that's including if God says wait for example you're just going to come up with okay what's the next step or two I could take that will help me wait in the postures of patience or whatever it is that God has for so whatever would be a pleasing act it will be the answer what are one or more next step take gracious God people again you move with us we ask that you would just help us grow ever further into your will and your ways and your best for us we love you back and we are yours in Jesus name amen all right so thank you for going through that extra thanks and if you're good Alicia I'm would invite you to just take a little bit of time to share whatever seem to be right to help you further voice clarify claim or act on your best sense of God's guidance so I worked here so you don't need to understand what's going on but we just consider this to be usually a pretty helpful part of the discernment process to kind of voice it out loud again whatever helps you voice and clarify and claim and act on your own best sense yeah I mean I would love to share with you the scenario that I brought through the exercise and I'd love to share with you some of my different thoughts along the way you might have to prompt me and remind me with some of the different steps were but I would love to share and I hope it's helpful to our listeners is there thinking about their own scenarios so when you asked me to prepare a scenario I thought that I would choose a work scenario as you and my listeners know I've been building faithfully for some time and we've got big milestones ahead and it's all very exciting and yeah there's a lot of there's frustration and there's uncertainty in it too so I thought I would bring a scenario from that but then one of the prompts was what has sparked kind of this has sparked emotion right like him like an outside emotional response from you when I found that for me in my life right now it actually isn't what I'm building it's not my work but it's actually in in motherhood so my family and I are in Long Island right now we're here for the summer in a new place and I'm putting to my kids to bed at night has been a struggle the three of them they're sharing a room and they just don't want to go to sleep and I find that bedtime is like an hour to an hour and a half later than what we're accustomed to when we're in this city and my anger and my frustration like I've felt these things in ways that I do not normally feel these things as I think about all the things that I need to do that I want to do after they go to bed and so that is what I brought to the scenario totally thank you for sharing that and I'm motherhood is a a key area of vocation for many yes you'll you yes it just go to bed and they're good kids like they're not trying to be like defiant or unruly they're just really way too excited to be conscious and want to keep being conscious and you know having fun and and I understand that but doesn't keep the frustration and the the anger from building and so yeah that that's what I brought that's what I brought into the into the exercise thank you for sharing and you don't have to but any sense of either kind of it might be the self-awareness of like oh this is how I'm experiencing this or it might be this is God's guidance for me or how things played out total next step you might take it's totally up to you what you want to share yeah I mean I I kind of want to share it all like I want to share with you some of like the pictures that I got as I was you know in the things that I visualized as you took me through the exercise I would love it and it's such a gift here the planners right because we can all experience God in such different ways so yeah it's it's so true yeah I want to say also before I showed what I visualized you know one of the ways that I knew that this was what I needed to take through the exercise was the regret that I always that I felt like these past couple of weeks like whenever I would lose my patience or be really short with my kids or maybe even like like raise my voice and shout a little bit I always wanted to go back and apologize I always wanted to do over I always felt regret and so that's how I knew something here's not quite right and it's something I need to bring to the Lord which your exercise helped me to do so you asked us to visualize to bring to mind some of like that some of the scene right to like make it come alive in our minds and so I thought about like me like telling my daughter to put her pull-ups on and telling my son to brush his teeth and he just wouldn't brush his teeth like I really like brought these things to mind and like it helped me to tap into that feeling of like frustration and anger and that I would feel as we're like 45 minutes in this process and you asked us to visualize like what does that look like right like what's a metaphor for that feeling and for me it was like like a chaotic ocean rising in my chest like that's where that's where it was located for me it was helpful to like sort of articulate that at least in my mind and you prompted us to do that yeah it's like we have this deeper sense of things but until we can do what we call the work of surfacing then our conscious minds doesn't really understand it can't like kind of wrap its head around it can't cooperate right what that might be up to so it's it's important work and it's a whole skill set that kind of modern day has lost on our path so yeah being able to surface into conscious this is what it feels like this is what yes yes um so once I was able to um articulate that right this like chaotic ocean like rising in my chest um I think it was at that point that you asked us to like sort of invite the Lord into that right and right away I visualized God's arms around me and like his heart lined up behind mine and his hands just placed upon my chest you know and I had this thought about um the opening lines of scripture and genesis where the Holy Spirit is hovering over the waters and hovering over chaos and you know doing what the Holy Spirit does which is to bring order and to bring peace and I felt like with God's hands on my chest that that was what he was bringing to me and like so you had asked us at the end to sort of have like a takeaway like what do you think like what do you think God's trying to tell you right like what do you think like the um what do you think he's trying to show you and what I understood from that picture is that the waters are going to rise like that is not something that like that is a natural response like what's happening but the and and I need release but the release that I get from raising my voice or by like showing my children my impatience that's not that's not the release that I'm called to the release that I'm called to the release that he has for me I should say is one where um when I'm in that moment just connecting with him you're like a moment of prayer and inviting him to go ahead and place his hands on the chaotic waters and to find release in that did it did it change the way it felt in your chest like if if you would back to that metaphor of the chaotic waters is it like his hand is like the you know the spirit hovering above the chaos kind of feeling or was it like oh the waters recited or yeah there was I mean I definitely visualized in sense a calming of the waters and it like going down a little bit but never going away completely yeah like that waters are real the waters are real they're not going to go away completely um but with the Lord's hands over them um there is a calming right and there is a a um a harnessing if that makes sense yeah say a little more of the harnessing that's such interesting language yeah there's like nothing is outside of the Lord's control I think that's what I mean by harnessing like his hands his hands can bring things into control that we can't control ourselves yeah a man a man a man did you have a sense for how God felt towards you as he placed his hands it was really helpful that you ran through this list or like does he feel like this as you feel that like that and I like I tested each one to see what felt right in what fit I think compassion feels like it fits a little bit like I grabbed onto that one the most of all the words that you listed but then a new word sprung to my mind which is supportive like I just felt him like supporting me like holding me up holding me there yes yes I love that I love that if I can ask did you feel like there's a next step that you're like yeah I could I could do this and I think it would be helpful yeah I mean I think it really is like I mean I have to confess like over the last two weeks of like struggling with my children at bedtime not once did I think about the Lord in any of those moments not once I think this exercise was an invitation it was a reminder to me to invite the Lord into it in these moments that like in my moment of like chaotic waters and my moment of struggle just to reach out to him and to visualize and remember that he's here to support me and I might like I might not regret the way I speak to my children I might not you know I might actually like arrive at a different place not that it's not going to be a struggle to put my children to bed I think it probably will be but I can but I think with his support I can handle it in a different way that that I won't like once they finally do go to bed feel regretful that I can go and do the things I need to do with greater freedom to use that word again right and greater peace all that it's so good and you are not alone I don't think many of us are we it's it's a you know this this this attunement to the Lord in our kind of normal daily life is not it's not really normalized in most spaces most Christian spaces most Christian ministry spaces so you know you're not alone and it's a whole like practicing the presence of God and all of it they're muscles that we grow and ideally you know within a system we kind of encourage each other to grow in this way but I'll say if we can even get used to that like ooh when I'm activated or emotionally dysregulated or stressed out or whatever language you want to use that's a really helpful reminder like this is probably a helpful time that if I attune to God then I will actually feel better like not only will I respond with greater wisdom and maturity but I'll also just feel better right there's like an immediate fruit and a gift in the presence of God which is you know which is meant to be a carrot yes he wants that for us he wants that for us oh what something else I wanted to mention is I really like how you conclude the exercise by asking us to compare it to scripture right to because there are so many instances when you are trying to attune to the Lord we're like your own thoughts enter the picture where you know we like we can get confused and I think that that was that's a really helpful reminder like actually is this consistent with the word and with the character of God you know in my case it was a very easy yes like you know the the things that the the the thing that he wants me to do which is to you know find him for support and to calm the chaotic waters it's it's through the spirit right it's like gentleness and patience and these things that like it was a pretty it was a pretty easy yes for me excellent excellent and sometimes it's not which is totally okay right it's like part of the journey which is a whole journey is starting to tease apart okay is is that your voice or is that my voice is that my mother's voice you don't know that's tough and even like David I get you know search me and know me is after Psalm 39 and just that idea of like as much as God knows me I need God to tell me yes is there any ways within me that are not his best for me because it's like we're we're all limited in our own self awareness so yes we and we are all limited and that's what so this is what I love about this exercise and everything that you do at a tune I think that as people in ministry and for pastors I think we can sometimes feel like we should have it figured out and that we shouldn't need help accessing you know inviting the Lord into like our daily life or in these scenarios but that's it's just not true like we all need help we're all limited and the beautiful thing about these exercises is it's just like you all at a tune reaching out a hand and just like gently guiding us down the path that we want to walk down and we know we ought to walk down definitely and we say like there because God is infinite and inexhaustible there endless ways to connect with God so like and as you taste and see how good it is like you just want more and so a tune has a particular approach but there a bunch of approaches out there and it's kind of like fill up your toolbox with those that are most helpful to you and over time you probably gonna learn okay this kind of stuff is helpful in this kind of scenario this kind of stuff is helpful in this kind of scenario and oh by the way my friend could really use some attunement I bet this will be helpful for her given you know how she tends to relate to God or you know that kind of thing it's like a long-term journey that leads to fullness of life and that freedom that we were talking about so yes all of us will experience better lives if we continually kind of lean in to deeper ways to connect with God yes so this exercise that you took me and our listeners through was called search me and know me is I know you have others as well but is this like the go-to that if people are just looking to get a taste of your methods so we have a couple of exercises for free on our practice page of our website it has this one which gets into more of that kind of we sometimes we use a language right brain or creative modes like there are certain techniques that will help with more of that surfacing work so today we used like metaphor and body-based awareness and visualization right those kind of things are kind of hallmarks for attune because we're trying to help people adopt these postures in their work context where it's just strange to open yourself up that fully so that that's why we gave a taste of that there's another one called wisdom from above which is more like a classic reflection exercise so both of those are available if this kind of stuff is helpful to you we've got a bunch more maybe six or eight maybe ten more exercises available on a subscription based practice portal that's what we call but you can get there via our practice portal as well our practice page I should say and you know there's exercises that use different kinds of visualization or different kinds of remembrance or just different techniques that are are fairly well known to do that surfacing work or help us perfect and you mentioned this earlier on in our conversation but you all are available and eager to visit with organizations to do this with teams right absolutely absolutely so it's it's one thing to do this in the privacy of your own home or car wherever you are doing this exercise it's another thing to do it in front of your colleagues and to actually justify rationalize this way of leading because we did it here on parenting which really matters but like God has thoughts good helpful thoughts on like budget allocations and how what you cover for your next sermon series and how to go how to kind of work through the sticky issues from a staff perspective right God cares about all these things and it's unfortunately very abnormal for a team to to say hey the way we do this is yes we want to use our full God given agency and what we can see and rational thought and big data and all these things but God can see more than we can so what listen and if and when we sense the spirits leading in guidance we're going to follow that even though by our own human sight we might not have seen it that way so that kind of work we like to to kind of be there to help teams gently stretch in it because it's weird and wonky and scary yeah wow I mean if I may say Tracy like the the Lord's fingerprints are all over you and all over this I think it's not insignificant your background which comes full circle to the beginning of our conversation you're a Harvard MBA like you worked at McKinsey and you worked at a biotech company you have a lot of skills and tools the Lord's given you but like right there at your fingertips to solve problems and to get things done and if you Tracy Matthews need to attune to the Lord and everything that you're doing I mean that I think just sends such a powerful message to those of us who believe but also need to attune and need to bring the Lord into every step of our journey thank you and what I'll say is life and leadership is so much better this way there is freedom and fullness of life when we don't think it's all up to us right back to what we said with that weight and from a startup perspective I was trained you're supposed to know what you're doing and how to get there right and now actually it's a very good innovation principles that if you if you actually like think you know what to do you kind of lose the ability to to learn and iterate but it's harder to kind of spiritually form your heart and mind and soul to be comfortable in the I don't know I don't even know where we're going much less how to get there and yet we have a strong sense where whitewear God wants us to be and that is that is enough like we're we're good it's gonna be good you know what we might call this episode Tracy we might just call this episode scandalously patient what would you think about that yes yes yes yes I love that phrase because the ways of God are scandalous yeah it's so different than what we've been taught yeah absolutely I love that well thank you Tracy for your time today it really is such a pleasure talking to you and such a blessing to be taken into the presence of the Lord through through the attune method I really appreciate it thank you and thank you for showing up fully it's it's no small thing that you're willing to kind of open up your interior life for your listeners but if we want to create those communities of faith amongst ministry leaders that kind of you know vulnerability that allows ourselves to be seen and known with God and with the Holy Spirit and that's exactly what we need yes yes I couldn't agree more thank you Tracy thank you for tuning in to the faithfully stories podcast we pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey the faithfully stories podcast is brought to you by faithfully an online community committed to empowering church leaders pastors 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