The Shattered Whole - Samura Jones | Faithly Stories

I think it's really important to acknowledge what it is that you are feeling and what you've gone through, but not enough for them to make permanent decisions within your life. And so those are practices that I have learned, you know, over time and as when I came out of, like, forced to care, I was really excited about, like, this new life because the, I'm like, okay, now I'm home with my mother. Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders. Learn more at Faithly.co. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired on. The Faithly Stories podcast. Samora Jones, welcome to the Faithly Stories podcast. Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to you, allowing me to come in to your space. I really do appreciate it. Thank you so much. Yeah, of course. And as we were talking about before we hit record, it's 90 degrees in New York. So if for those who are watching us, if you see us start sweating, or you see us start to turn the fan on, it's, that's the situation right now. Just give a little grace. That's right. Don't get distracted. It's deeper than the sweat. That's right. That's right. All right. So we're going to think some cool thoughts, Samora. You are an area director for Careportal. You're an author, you're a podcaster, you're a coach. That's a lot of experience. And there's a lot of wisdom. I know you have to share with our audience. But before we get there, I'd love to start from the beginning. What was your first encounter with God's love, with His presence that really shaped you? Oh, man. And when I think about God's love, I don't think that I recognized in the beginning that it was God's love, the first encounter that I remember was a time where I had experienced this really, really difficult hardship. I was a, I was very young child and the time I was in foster care. And we had went through this, this really horrific ordeal. And it was the first time that I kind of asked the question of where God was. And even the fact that I asked the question to him, I think now looking back that there was an evidence of His presence that I just didn't know how to connect with. And so in the space of this really dark room, there was literally a crack in the window. And it was just like little shine of light that was coming in and I was just talking to the light. And I was asking God like where He was. And it began the journey relational connection to just discovering His love and present. So that was the, that's my first memory of connecting, seeking or, or feeling or desiring to feel God. Wow. Yeah. Wow. As a young child too, and in the midst of adversity. And so that's something I want to dig into, which is your story, which you've shared publicly is one of adversity. It's one of unimaginable pain, I think, for most people. What has kept your faith alive? Oh, man. I don't think it's been one thing. I think it's been these continual relational encounters with God over time and different aspects. I believe the different points of touch that I've had with God has given revelation to His character. Because it's one thing to just hear what people say God is. It's a whole other thing to experience it yourself. And so being able to have these numerous encounters on different planes with God, it has allowed me to strengthen my faith. And a lot of times my faith has been strengthened and been alive. It's been through seeing how God showed up in the challenge and in the celebration. And so one thing that I can think of was there was a time where I was very dependent on myself. And I felt like I needed to be because, you know, and as Will probably talk about, is my childhood, my youth did not give credit or give me reason to trust adults. And so it was like, if I needed something to happen, to make something happen, then I needed to rely on myself. And with that, it came with working at a very young age. I started working at nine years old and helping my mother paid rent, helping my mother pay the bills, putting food on the table. And from nine years old to maybe my mid adulthood, it was me, at least in my foresight, taking care of and handling everything. And I had got to a place where I felt like things were growing and striving. I had at that point, I was working at Apple and I was a tech there. And I was being promoted back to back, I was, you know, flourishing, I'm excited about what I'm doing. And God is like, Hey, I want you to quit your job. And I'm like, um, though, that doesn't make any sense because I want to have a child and two, my husband at the time wasn't working. I said, that's not smart. That's not responsible as an adult. That is not what we are taught to do. Why would I quit my job? And I had this feeling of, okay, well, you know what, God, I was like, I've been poor before. So I know how to be poor again. And I remember the Holy Spirit saying to me, who told you that you would be poor? But I assumed you don't have a job because job being my provider, hustling, being my way of providing resources for myself. If I didn't have those tools, if I wasn't getting it that way, how could provision ever be possible? And so going into it scared, going into it, not knowing, going into it without God giving me the plan because I asked for it, I said, would you let me know what the plan is and what's happening and what's going on any day. And so I was obedient anyway. And for three years, I was, I did, I did not have clearance if you will to get a job. And in that time, God had provided more financially for me and relationally for me than I had ever done on my own. And it, it solidified that not only was he someone who provided, but that he was a God who saw me. He saw what I needed and he saw that I needed to understand who he was and in character, who he was as a father, who he was as a caregiver, who he was as a redeemer. Like he knew the stages of where I needed to let go of how the world told me survival or provision needed to look like. And then he was that. So that was just, he then became my provider, right? And always in all aspects because of that journey that I experienced there. Yeah. Wow. That's really powerful. And you've touched on some key moments in your journey. You talked about how you started working at nine. You were still with your mother then. And then you fast forwarded and talked about working for Apple, one of the, you know, biggest and most impressive tech companies in the world. Can you fill in what happened sort of in between that, um, to give us a sense of how you became one of the leading advocates for the foster care system? Yeah. So when I was a six years old, unfortunately, and I always state this because you never know who's listening, you never know where they are in their journey. So I always pray first and foremost that if you have experienced any kind of sexual abuse or trauma that as you were hearing, you know, my testimony that, um, that it does not re-trigger you, but that it actually gives you permission to release. It actually gives you permission to trust and actually gives you permission to begin healing if you have not already. Um, so that is always my prayer for people as I, you know, as I talk through it. And so when I was six years old and unfortunately, um, my father molested, um, me as a child. And he did it for about a year. Um, finally I had told, um, my sisters, my sisters told my, my mother, uh, and my mom at the time, um, like she said something about it, but she did not make the move to remove my dad. And so my sister told, uh, a teacher. And so a teacher made the call, which often happens, uh, and the teacher made the call as a mandated reporter saying that, hey, that there was an investigation I needed to happen with at the time, it was BCW, not ACS. That's not old. Uh, and I was removed from the home in place and to foster care. Um, I actually went into three foster homes and, uh, in a very short period of time. And when I got to my third foster home, they were like, hey, we really think that this is going to be the one that is going to stick. We feel like you're going to find safety here. This is going to be a great experience because the foster mother that I had, she was a BCW social worker. And so having someone who was in the field who understood what children were going through, the concept that they had was that I was going to be safe. And that's what they told us, um, and on top of that, they were Christians. They were in the church, you know, so they were decons and deconess, uh, in the church. And so they were like, this is going to be a great environment for you, um, but it wasn't. So that foster family that, um, that we went to, um, who had all of these criteria that should show that they would be a great home. It wasn't. Um, they, uh, ended up beating us, um, starving us, um, you know, we were like the kids locked in, uh, cages that you see, you know, like on the news. And so, um, you could see my skeleton and, uh, the abuse was relentless. And so, um, a lot of people asked, hey, you know, if you knew that this thing was happening, like, who did you tell? Who did you talk to? Uh, one of the things that you get as a foster child is a therapist. And so I told my therapist and, uh, I never disclosed the name of him, but he's actually a very famous therapist today. And I told him that the abuse was happening and he told, uh, my foster mother. And so the response was to drop me down a flight of stairs when I got back and told me that if I ever told that, um, that she would, that she would kill me. So trust was broken with any level of care, um, with the adults that were in my life. So my biological family was not protecting me. My, uh, the, the family that I was fostering was not protecting me. And then the powers that be, if you will, that was surrounding that supposed to be the checks and balances was then not protecting me. So where do you go from there? You kind of resort into your shell of self preservation and survival, um, of what must be done to just make it. Um, and so having, you know, and I was in foster care for three years. So three years of consistent, you know, abuse, almost being drowned, almost, um, having, you know, these, these times having scars and weps and being in the church, um, because they were, we went to church three to four days a week, you know, uh, so I was so confused and conflicted. And that's why I had a very weird relationship, I think in the beginning with this so cold God because it wasn't like I wasn't in your house, yet I wasn't protected. But I had this one. Uh, there was three distinct people during that time that I think that, uh, was strategically placed, um, for the who God knew I would become, um, past the moment of my trial and tribulation, uh, one was a babysitter and her name we call to mama, right? Mama Daniels was her name she has gone on to glory. And this woman was what I would call a true Christian. This one was one who lived out the biblical context of loving one another, loving your neighbor, caring for the least of these feeding though she was the example, uh, that was placed in this really traumatic time. And she would just pray over me, uh, I would have a, I remember being so sick, um, and getting in trouble with my foster mother because I had a stomach bug and you know when you have a stomach bug, you can't help whether or not you're throwing up and she would threaten me that if I threw up in school and she had to get called that I would then get beat. And I'm like, you can't control it though. And so thank God that they didn't call her, but they call it mama. And so mama came and picked me up from school and she laid me on the floor and made a little pallet, had a little bucket next to my side. And she just think she praised God for my life and I didn't understand it. I didn't understand why the care of the, of, of me was to praise God for a life that I didn't feel was worth being praised for, um, yet she did so. And I had a teacher who would be by my side and she would have me, um, have me stay in her classroom and just have time to myself and just be, and just be there with her and she would help to tutor me and she would help to do all of these things for me. And then when I did go into the church, there was a mother who was in the church and she was very disturbed by my physique. She would always complain because I would wear the same clothes over and over again. And, and she didn't understand why I was so skinny. So she would try to feed me every, every chance she got, um, and, and she would make me sit next to her and she would just pray over me. Hmm. She would just pray over me. So I had all of these people, um, who were kind of the external parties, interjecting and interceding for this life that they were blessing God for and thanking God for when I had no evidence of anything to really be thankful for in the time. Hmm. And so, um, I believe they planted the seeds that needed to grow in order, um, for God to have his way in my life, uh, in the way that he does now because I am completely surrendered, um, but it started with those muster seeds of faith and prayer. Yeah. Wow. So, um, I think you shared it in the very beginning of our conversation that, um, God spoke to you through relationship and now I see what you mean, um, your relationship with these mothers in your life, good mothers that they were provided for you. Um, I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you, Samura. I know you've shared it with me before and I've seen you share it from stage, but, um, it's unimaginable pain and for you to share it, um, again and again as such a gift, um, I think to those who are suffering who maybe have, um, had similar experiences. So thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And the, um, when I'm very thankful that I can, and you take about layers and decades of work, like I didn't just arrive, right, um, at this place where I can talk through it where it doesn't re-traumatize, right, you know, therapists that I have, that I, I love, you know, I love therapy, you know, prayer and conversation with God, uh, you know, counsel and then allowing myself to feel without allowing my, um, my feelings to have, uh, what I call voting rights at the table of my life. Yeah. I think it's really important to acknowledge what it is that you are feeling and what you have gone through, but not enough for them to make permanent decisions, uh, within your life. And so those are practices that I have learned, you know, over time and as when I came out of like forced to care, um, I was really excited about like this new life because the, I'm like, okay, now I'm home with my mother and now I can really be safe, um, but what I didn't expect to happen was the, the financial really disparity that my mom was dealing with as a single mom with now two kids back in the home and really just not enough having more month than money as my pastor said. And so, you know, what could I, what could I do? And I think that there's something the way that God has created me that I would even think of at nine years old, like, what can I do to help pay the bills? And so, um, at the time I started watching five children, um, two, five kids that I was taking care of, it was, um, two that I would take to school and to, um, their after school program that was right in the neighborhood. And then I had three kids that I would take to school and pick up from school to help them because their parents needed someone who could do the early morning and, um, in the evening until they got home from work. And so I charged each parent $25 a kid. And so, had $120 a week, so $500 a month. Um, and at that time that was very good money, you know, um, especially for a nine year old. And then I learned how to braid. And so I would braid the, um, the girl next door, you know, daughter's hair and she would pay me $25 for every time I would braid, you know, her daughter's hair. And so I had a good $600 a month that was coming in to help my mom pay for the phone bill, pay for food and then she could take care of the rent. And so we together raised me, you know, um, and my sister's financially and I kind of always became like that person because once I realized that I could really have like this impact, I was like, oh, then I started talking to people and trying to find a figure out like, how do you do what you do? I became a very curious, uh, you know, uh, kid and people were just willing to give me a shot and let me try and I would try practice, then do, um, and then, uh, it became this kind of rippling, uh, effect that allowed me to kind of go down this road of, uh, relational connections learning, um, being curious, uh, and then trying it into, uh, I could practice it and get it to perfection, you know, or close to it if you will. Wow, Samora, um, thank you for sharing all of that. It's so clear to see like every step, how it led you to where you are. Um, I think it was Pastor Rick Warren who said that your greatest pain will be your greatest ministry. And I mean that like you were just such an example of that, right? And, um, and even all the things that you did to like raise yourself with your mother, right? Like all of that resilience and like creativity, um, I just see so clearly how you became this voice fighting for children in your current role. Um, so can you tell us now about your role at Careportal? Like what, what do you do? And, and how did you, like, how did you arrive at this role? Yeah. So I started off about two years ago as a regional manager and I was, uh, previously working at, uh, an organization for leadership development. And, uh, I, uh, I loved being a part of that aspect of it because I got to be a part of the, uh, the building and the brainchild, uh, behind helping so many different organizations get to their, from their mission to measurement, if you will. Uh, and a part of that, um, allowed one of relational connections across the city, um, to a deeper and better understanding of what was going on with the churches and organizations, uh, dealing with a many different challenges, um, in there. And at the same time, um, God had said something to me that I really rejected at first, um, which was, hey, I want you to go back to school. And I was like, no, thank you, Lord. I don't want to do that. I've never liked school. I don't want to do that. And, um, on top of that, he was like, hey, I want you to go to school for social work. Hmm. I almost got, uh, maybe not almost. I got angry because I was like, why would you send me anywhere near that kind of retriggering, you know, um, I said, I was like, I'm doing well connecting with people this way. Why do you want me to go down a different door? And so, um, but like, like always, you know, I state how I feel. So the Lord, and then I go do what he told me to do in the first I was like, but he's going to have to feel about it. And so I went to school for social work, which actually gave me the connection to, um, to lead as, uh, uh, lead in YC at the time. Um, and then a co-worker who was moving on, uh, to actually launch care portal in New York, had gave me a call, which is Mark Ackinson, um, who was the former area director, and he is now the field director, uh, where the Northeast for care portal, um, gave me a calling was like, hey, I really think that this position as regional manager would really be a good fit for you because of your experience of both with, uh, with church, with agency, but with the foster care system directly. Hmm. And I said, let me pray about it. Uh, and I did, and it was really clear, it was, care portal is the, the destination, uh, and I'm still journeying through it that has allowed the full circle of the numerous experiences that I've had, uh, with both the foster care system, with agencies, with, um, from case workers to social workers, to, um, to therapists, um, to churches to be centered in all in one place. And so, um, I believe that God's, uh, designed for me to go to, uh, school for social work allowed me to not just have the experience of my experience and foster care, but to understand the systematic process and, um, processes, um, through that, that chapter in, I'm already in church. And so I have now the three kind of pillar cornerstones, um, of understanding to really be a part of, um, doing this work. And then he made sure that he healed me before he assigned me. Uh, and so that when I go and I do this work now that I get to do a care portal, um, which is, and for those who don't know, let me, you know, give the, the, the details of what care portal is. So care portal is a technology that allows, um, agencies, which is a very broad term for care portal. So you can be a school and ACS agency community based organization who have children, um, at the center of their care can put in requests of the most vulnerable, um, children that are in families in our communities. And then they use this platform call care portal to put those needs in and then we connect and recruit churches to be a part of answering those needs in real time. And so with my position as area director and formerly the regional director, uh, regional manager, I have this opportunity to train, um, agency and to train churches to be a part of coming together to be a part of taking care of child. Wow. Um, the way, so you called it the destination. I love that. Like you, you have seen, you're seeing how God has woven your story together to bring you to this place. Um, that's just so beautiful. How can you give us maybe a couple of examples of how the Lord has shown up in this work, um, how he's worked and shown up. I'm just, I'm just curious if there are maybe some interactions with agencies or churches or with, or with children, um, that have, um, increased your faith. Yeah. And so I would say with, um, with agencies, um, one of the things that I have been able to, to see more than I think that I could, which has passed my experience is the level of, of heavy of their work. Um, I, I, there is a, uh, a rate of social workers leaving the industry of over 54% Wow. And so when I'm having conversations with my, um, agency reps and case workers, I am first and foremost, taking care, uh, in the human of that that I'm talking to, uh, and finding out how they are, what their real needs are, um, so that the organization as a whole can be a part of a care source for them. Uh, it's, it's why they say it's a care sharing platform because we're not just caring for the child, but we're caring for all those who are connected, um, to the program. So part of it is how do we care for the social workers by providing a tool and resource that will actually lead to, um, a relief of the amount of work that they have on their table and by also making sure that they're, they, the human are cared for and taking care of. And so, um, I get to, um, hear my, uh, agencies call me and say, you know, I've been really, I'm really thankful that, you know, that we were able to get these items for this family, um, but they've been waiting for a while to get these items, but not just that, like the church came in and they were praying with the family. They, they can contact with the family that they have been, um, inviting the family, you know, to church that we had one church, um, who took the family instead of just buying the clothes for them, they invited them out on a Saturday to go to lunch and they went to the mall and they went shopping for the items that the family, you know, needed. And so like these are the kind of things that change how the agency sees, you know, the tool of it because it's not just this, this technology tool, it's a pathway to community for their families that they can't necessarily give them. So it transforms the kind of transactional work that they have to do at times to this relational community, um, provision in one hand because it's, it's always tell people I'm like, when you are telling people, hey, you know, trust God and God is there for you and here for you. But the person that you're talking to, stomach is grumbling. It's really hard to hear when I'm hungry. So being able to meet them at their need and then at the same time create community, you see the beauty of the, um, of the good news that lights up in a social worker because they have so many hard cases that when they get the opportunity to not only have good news, but to be able to say, actually, this person no longer needs my service because they now have community is transformational, um, into the hearts of our agency, but also into the hearts of the families who are saying things like I was so shocked that people just were providing help to strangers without a reason. Like they just did it because they cared and it does something in that heart when you are in survival mode so often and you can feel forgotten and unseen and to have strangers come into your home and be a part of just loving you and caring for you and supporting you and really providing what you need and seeking to serve more. Uh, it becomes a real meaningful connection past this one request that may be in our system and our churches are thriving, uh, and caring for their community because now they have visibility. Hmm. And so it's hard. Uh, and so some churches they do things like, hey, we have a food pantry. We have a clothing drive. We have these events, but if you knew that Jessica who was down the street from you was dealing with an ACS issue because she didn't have a bed. Now you have visibility to really care for your neighbors in a different way. Um, and it becomes this beautiful cycle of movement and I get to be a part of each corner, um, of that aspects to some degree, whether it is, um, in training or in learning, um, or adapting and because there's so many different ways that you can, um, care. Hmm. We really see God's love and we see God when we see God's people showing care and love to these children and these families in need. And gosh, you got to see that, right? Like every day in your job. So let me ask a couple of clarifying questions. So, um, care portal, it's about helping children before they enter the foster care system, right? I think that's important to just highlight again. Um, it's, um, it's all about helping children, um, when they're vulnerable, when they're in need, um, and sort of before they hit that critical juncture, right? Yeah. Yeah, because here's what we know. We know that the statistics say that when you are going into the pipeline, if you will, a foster care that the outcomes are not good, right? We have over 50% of the population who are homeless, who have been at some point in foster care, right? Over 65% of people who are human trafficked or sex traffic has had a, um, has an encounter with foster care, right? So we have all of these different, like statistics that tell us that the outcome is, um, is greater harm than it is good with our families going into foster care. And so we always utilize this, uh, this quote from Reverend Desmond Tutu that says, instead of just pulling people out the water, go upstream and find out why they're falling into the first place in the first place. So this, how can we stop you from falling in? How can we find out what's going on with the families so that we can be a part of community collaboration that helps to provide real tangible resources and emotional and mental resources so that our families are not going into foster care in the first place. Um, part of that is you go, well, why are they going into foster care in the first place or why they being removed from the home? And the statistics are staggering when it says that over 67% of the families and the kids who are going into foster care are not because of sexual or physical abuse, but because of poverty and neglect. So we're like, wait, if we have almost 70% of the children who are in foster care, not in foster care because they were in this malicious, you know, I'm home where you have these really bad ill equipped, um, you know, parents harming them. But in fact, it's really the needs of the family's mom, dad, grandma, whatever the context is that needs support and help and these tangible ways, well, why don't we be a part of helping the tangible need and helping the communal need? And so that's what care portal does. It allows us as a community to be a part of stopping this pipeline of into foster care due to poverty, you know, needs that way, those who are in foster care who really need to be there are not a part of a bloated system that is looked over. I was one of those kids where the care wasn't there, but probably because my case worker was overwhelmed. There was, you know, not an excuse for that. But to understand the context of the load of expectation that our social workers have, you have to take some of it into context, even if it's not an excuse for it. So care portal allows us to really get a hold of the people who are already really doing this in the community because it's not just church base. Churches are the only points of care that can actually go meet the family because we believe that they have something special to bring with them. But only not only that, that the Holy Spirit is waiting at the door for both the family that they're serving and the churches, but everyone can be a part of this, which I think is so beautiful about care portal is that if you're just an individual who downloaded the app, you can be a part of helping a family in need in your community or in the city or anywhere in the U.S. because you're like, hey, now I see it and it goes 100% to that family and it's a beautiful vetted, by the way, vetted, you know, requests that are in the system. It's a beautiful, beautiful tool that allows us to be transformative locally and in city wide. Wow. That is a very, very powerful platform. And I love what you said about the Holy Spirit's just waiting at the door to bless both sides of the equation, not just the children and the families that are being served, but the churches and the individuals and others that are bringing that help to the table. So your area director, what is your area? What's your territory? So my territory is New York City. So and that's Brooklyn, Queens, Long Island, Staten Island, Manhattan, the Bronx. We do NASA as well, so that area. We are in New York State, but my particular area of coverage is New York City. No big deal just the biggest city in the world, right? In the United States, sorry, not in the world, but the biggest city in this country. That's a lot of ground to cover and you need a lot of help. So we've got a lot of listeners who are church leaders and ministry leaders, not just in New York, but a lot of them in New York. If they're feeling excited and stirred up and they want to get involved, how do they do that? How do they get in touch with you? Listen, email me. But no, if you go to careportal.org, it says, enroll your church. It actually automatically sends an email to me and my regional manager, Peter Rhee, shout out to Peter Rhee, you love him. And it allows us to get in contact so that we can have a conversation. I would say the first thing first though is download the app, do the easy thing first and start to look through it, see the requests that are in your city and your neighborhood because you can do it by zip code. Like see what's going on in there, like go to careportal.org and sign up and when you sign up with your zip code, it'll automatically go to a leader in the area that you are. So even if you're not in New York, be a part of helping families in tangible ways. If you're like, man, I don't know everything. I'm like, what do I need to know? We do all the training. We train you on how to use the platform. And it's a short training. And if we train your church on how do you respond to families and community? What does that look like? What is the different traumas and how is it bringing deep and what does it look like when it manifests, right? So you're so equipped, you're so partnered and you're so given this opportunity to adapt it to the way that your function. If you're like, man, I'm already doing these things in my church, like how can I connect what I'm already doing to what we're doing? We gain plan together, a strategy that makes sense for what it is that you are doing within your community. So this will always, though, I promise you, this is something that will always stretch you, right? And it allows us to really just do the command that God has given us, which is to take care of the least of these, to take care of to feed, to clothe, right, to provide to love. Like it allows us to really disciple and develop more as disciples. So if a church is looking for an opportunity to do it, absolutely do it. And I'm like, I'll put my email in here as well, like, you know, I don't mind. You don't, you don't do it. If you want, you know, connect with me directly. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing all that. That's great for churches, by the way. That's amazing. You don't pay and use the platform. Yeah. And so even if you were a church who, let's say you're like, man, I'm not financially heavy in our church right now, but we're people powered, right? So we have amazing people who are donating across the city towards requests. You can be that church that claims the money donated to go shopping for the family and meet the family. Or if you're like, hey, I'm a church that we want to be financial contributors to this. Like how can we be a part of this? You can do it. There's a number of ways to be connected. So there's no excuse for not everybody to have their hands in the pot of care. Hmm. Wow. I could ask you probably 25 more questions about care portal, but I don't want to leave our conversation today without talking about another significant role you play. And it's as an emotional restoration coach. When I came across this term and speaking with you and getting to know you, it was my first time coming across this, this term before. Can you tell us what that means and, and yeah, how it all works? Sure. Actually, taking a leadership advancement course, one of the courses was emotional intelligence. And so Dr. Rubit Hales, which is who you had on a long ago, was the facilitator for emotional intelligence. And I actually did take his training course for EQI. Wow. So in taking that, it gave me this partnership, right, with the word that allows me to help people walk through the healing process. One of the things that I would hear a lot as I was looking for ways to kind of heal from the trauma of different experiences that I had went through was a lot of encouragement but not a lot of how. And so, you know, like navigating through the space of your emotions and some kind of action oriented ways. And so as an emotional restoration coach, right, is in alignment with that also cares about your emotional health. And in that redemption story, it is a part of it, like those emotional component is a part of restoring you back to an emotional healthy place. And so as your coach, I help you walk through in partnership because I can't be the work for you of what it looks like to walk through this emotionally healthy life. One thing is we do the emotional EQI assessment of just finding out where you are and your emotional intelligence, maturity, understanding, and we dive into that. We use that as a tool that is accompanied with, you know, biblically based principles that talk about like how God sees you and in comparison to how you see and understand yourself that mirror moment and does the mirror of God match the mirror of you. And then the basis of it is how we acknowledge. So the first thing is that we go through the process of acknowledging the hurt. We have to, you cannot deal with anything that you do not acknowledge. And then we go through the process of claiming our healing, which sounds really exciting, but it's really the most hard part because in order to acknowledge your healing, you have to let go of the comfort of having the hurt. And it sounds weird, but sometimes you have become so comfortable with your hurt because it's, it's what you know. Knowing it's a place of claiming your healing, it's unknown territory, but it really is a beautiful thing, but it kind of feels tumultuous a little bit in the process. But once you then claim and accept that there is good for you, that there is a path that can, that you can take along that journey of times where hurt will happen because that's life, but also that there is good that there is joy that there is blessings that there is life that there is healing that there's practices that you can put in place. And then you start to now adapt, right, where you are now living like you learn the lesson. So now I am now living out this new life that I have in this restored place of healing. And now I have the tools to kind of do it as life, life's, you know. And so that is the, the, the, the crux of what I do as a coach. Thank you for sharing that. That is super interesting and super powerful. I think you have this vocabulary for talking about like the phrase that you use, the comfort of your pain. I think vocabulary is really helpful in this framework that you have is really helpful. And is it what informs the shattered hole? So you're the author and the, in the host of the shattered hole, tell us about that. Yeah. So I wrote a book, which was very odd because I was like, God, I am no author. Whatever you're in, but it was an interactive journal on purpose. And I love that you said that you have this language. One of the things that I realized and my studies and as going through the process of, of shattered hole was that most people don't have emotional language to truly express what it is that they're actually failing. So they're pigeonholed into the kind of six words of, I'm angry, you know, I'm sad, I'm happy, you know, and the, the truth of the matter is if you do not place the right verbiage on the words that you're actually experiencing, you do not actually get the benefits of dealing what is actually occurring because you were telling your brain that you were experiencing something that you actually internally or not. And so there's this conflict of things. So even in the book, the back of it has an emotional glossary so that you can then learn what the word is that you're saying and find out if you actually mean that word. And so I started a podcast that would allow me the opportunity to talk to leaders and deal with, hey, what is the emotional health and intelligence and that you are experiencing as leaders because one of the things that God had talked to me about was when I was in this class and learning about emotional intelligence and he was like, I create, he was like your purpose is for emotional restoration. I was like, God, what is that? And part of that was he said, my leaders are leading people into more brokenness. So my target, if you will, is leaders across the city, which is why I love even the work that I get to do with care portal because I get to talk to leaders in at the base of everything that I do with still emotional restoration. And on this podcast, I get to talk to leaders all across the state and the world about what that looks like for them and their journey because I think that there is a misconception that because you are leading that you do not feel and that you do not also need that care emotionally as well. And so I get to partner with leaders in that aspect and give the jewels over to our viewers about the different kinds of insight and it connects with them and I'm really grateful for that. Wow. What a way to take your past and your pain and your learning and your experience and really bless people with it. Just leaders and bless your audience, maybe we could wrap it up with a couple of final questions. I want to tap into your glossary. What does wholeness mean in this broken world where we heal, but healings a journey and it continues throughout your life, like what does it mean to be whole? Yeah. In my glossary, if you will, it is the completion of something, but it is a cycle because we are in a broken world. So the reason why it is tool centered is because you're going to come around the bend again of a new hurt, of a new step of where you were acknowledging, claiming and living. And so wholeness is to have this practice of understanding that you didn't start off broken. And so you're always kind of doing the, what I call the emotional work, right, because you're worth the emotional equity to dive into the process that it takes to go to put yourself back and say like that whole state of mind and the only way to do that is with God. Right. It is your partnership with God because he knows what your whole looks like. He knows what your, he has the complete picture and in doing that with these practices, with these tools, it gives you the ability to show up as your whole self and not just a fragment version of you. Wow. That's great. And where can people find your podcast where they can, where can they find out more about your book? Is it on your website? So my book is on my website, but my book is also on Amazon, right? So just look up Shattered Hole and some more Jones and it will pop up my pictures on it. So and you're able to like look at it and it is very interactive. So I wrote it in a way where it sounds like me you were having a conversation and so I have questions for you. There's activities for you to do and it is also ways to contact me as well. If you were like, hey, I want to go deeper with this, you can absolutely do so. The podcast, I actually have my third season coming out later on this year. Wow. Congratulations. Yes. Thank you. We took a little break, but I'm really, really excited about what's to come and what has happened. But you can definitely look back at older episodes. It's on YouTube. It's on Apple Podcast and I believe it's on, I don't know if it's still anchor anymore, but it's on heart radio podcast as well. So those are the places that you can go and find it. And I think the link is still through my social media as well. Thank you so much, Samoa. It has been such a pleasure to talk to you. And we survived. We survived a 90 degree conversation in New York and I'm only a little bit sweaty. Listen, I'm like watching you and I'm like, I'm like, it's starting to... I'm almost up, but we made it. We did it. We did it. Well, thank you Samoa. I really appreciate it. It's been really great. I really appreciate it. It's saying thank you so much. Thank you for doing what you do, the way that you do it. I got a chance to just like look through faithfully and we will be using you soon as we will be hiring very, very soon. So just look for the updates on the profile. It is a really beautiful thing to know that there is a place where we can go to really see ourselves in our community. So thank you for what you do and thank you for this podcast. It's very, very helpful to just have an understanding of kind of like what's going on amongst the city and our leaders and the needs that we have and how we can collaborate together. So thank you so much for what you do. Thank you. That is so encouraging to me. We will look out for those job posts like those are a job opportunities that ministry leaders do not want to miss and our mobile app is coming out Samoa September 1st. So after September 1st, you'll be able to have faithfully at your fingertips. Look there. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you again, Samoa. We'll have to talk soon. Yes. Absolutely. Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff, and volunteers. The Faithly Digital Platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration, and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the Frontlines of Ministry on the Faithly podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful, and never underestimate the power of your own story.