Adopted for God’s Purpose - Regan Donofrio

00:01 - Speaker 1
I went from a bad situation, so bad that they allowed me to be bodily removed from it. I was two and by the time I was seven, my parents were legally divorced already. So I went from rocky to stable for like a year and a half to unstable, and so when I was getting married, I was like yo, like I'm going to break this curse that's trying to attack this family, and, especially after having known I was adopted, I said no man, you know I am not doing this. I'm doing this once and I am doing this right, and I began to look at what is what family is. Hi, my name is Regan DonofrioI am a pastor at Upper Room Christian World Center in Dix Hills, long Island. I am a happily married man celebrating 13 years of marriage this year. We have five children, and this is my Faithly Story.

01:19 - Speaker 2
Welcome to Faithly. Story of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast.

01:45 - Speaker 3
Could you share with me how your faith journey started?

01:47 - Speaker 1
So my faith journey started well. My dad's a pastor and I grew up in the church. I actually got filled with the Holy Spirit when I was nine years old. Rodney Howard Brown I don't know if you know Pastor Rodney Howard Brown. He's in Tampa, florida. He's originally from South Africa.

02:09
In the late 90s there was a massive move of it was like the laughter movement. I don't know if you're familiar with some of the laughter movement and I thought it was a joke. You know, to be honest with you. And my dad had him come to our church and we were down in the office and I got hit. I don't even know what happened. I can't even theologically tell you what happened. All I can tell you is, experientially, I was consumed by the power and the presence of God and I was overtaken, I was raptured in that moment and that was the beginning, I would say. And then it didn't really. You know, I was a kid. I grew up, my parents were divorced, so I was dealing with a lot of that and part of the way that I dealt with that was by not caring about things. So I was a master of chaos and confusion and foolishness in school and when I was 16 years old.

03:13
We have a school here at our church. So the church was founded in 1980 and the school was founded in 1981. My dad believed in Christian education from the beginning. It's been a part of the mission of the church. The school had an incredible revival and I mean we had three days where there was no school. I mean young people crying out to God, healings taking place. Kids that were involved in the youth group. They didn't go to school. Their parents came. At the time we had a Seventh Day Adventist who was our music teacher.

03:54
I was just praying for people. I didn't know what to do. Again, another thing that I did not have theology for I was thrown into this encounter, this experience with God, you know, and I was praying for people. A lady got healed of a tumor. He went to tap me on the shoulder and as I turned around, he immediately starts breaking down, crying. He gets filled with the spirit for the first time. I mean it was just an absolute supernatural encounter. It was an experience that changed my life. I felt like the woman at the well, you know, when she ran into town and said I just met a man who told me everything about my life. Come and see. You know, I was completely overtaken by the power and the presence of God and it was in that, in the throes of that, that I promised God. That's when I had my come to Jesus moment. I knew of God.

04:52
I was always in church, but I didn't really serve God for myself until I was 16 years old and I told God. I said God, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it, I promise. I promise to stay humble, I promise to give you the glory. And that's been the footprint, that's been the anchor of all of ministry that I have been able to be a part of through the years, which includes, you know, I told God, whatever you want, and it included I was actually.

05:21
I was the leader of a dance troupe in the early 2000s. We have plays here at our church that are they're pretty, they're pretty known on Long Island. I started doing being a part of those plays because I just said God, whatever, whatever you want me to do, I just want to help, I just want to be a part. I started acting, I started playing music, I started playing bass in the and I started playing drums. Then I started acting, I started playing music, I started playing bass and I started playing drums.

05:47
Then I started preaching. There was a whole host of things that I had been involved with because I did not limit how God wanted to use me. I just said God, just use me however you want and I'll give you my yes. I truly believe that when I look over my life, you know I've preached in seven countries, which is you know, that's not, it's not you know an incredible amount. I've preached in 17 of the 52 states in America. Again, there are people well more traveled than I am, but just to see where my life has gone from just a simple yes, just being willing to be used by God, has been absolutely incredible. So my journey started with a yes and, prayerfully, will continue with a yes, whatever God wants me to do.

06:39 - Speaker 3
Where'd you grow up?

06:41 - Speaker 1
So I grew up in Dix Hills, long Island, where the church is An interesting story. I guess this is how we can get into it. I was actually adopted when I was two years old. I was born in Florida to a family that ended up not having the financial means or the emotional constitution to raise me. And I found all of this out when I was 18, by the way, when I was two years old I had two older sisters. I was the baby of that family. My mom, her parents, moved to Florida. My parents, my mom and my dad, are who raised me.

07:22
You know it takes sacrifice, it takes dedication, it takes selflessness to be a parent. You know, anyone can enjoy the pleasure of an evening, but it, you know, to really take on the mantle of father, to take on the mantle of mother, it requires sacrifice. So I say my parents, the ones who raised me no disrespect to my biological family, but that's just kind of the way it is was, and I was in the daycare there and they found out that there was a little boy who potentially could be up for adoption and my parents were not able to have children for whatever reason, and that was how the connection happened. It was thanks 1980s that I I came to New York and became who I'm supposed to be a D'Onofrio Thanksgiving is always a very special time, you know, of reflection for me. I have a lot to be thankful for Going back to where did you grow up?

08:34
I grew up in Long Island, new York, and involved in sports my whole life. I am absolutely a jock, 100%. I hated school. I loved sports. My favorite subject was recess and gym, you know. So I fit the bill. I'm totally what do you call that? I'm totally pegged when it comes to being a jock.

09:02 - Speaker 3
You sound like all the Long Island boys that I know.

09:06 - Speaker 1
I'll tell you how you know if someone's Long Island or not. They say water and coffee. That's how you know someone's from Long Island. I'm like I don't have the accent, you have the accent.

09:17 - Speaker 3
Did you ever reconnect with your biological family?

09:20 - Speaker 1
Yeah, so it's an incredible story. So I was graduating high school when I was 18 years old and I had just come in off. A day person I would say, you know the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one, you know, and Christ, you know, just totally revived me from not giving a rip to now, you know, learning sensibilities in a healthy and a godly way and being sensitive. So I was having these things, and so I get. I get home from the boat. About three or three or four of my friends were with me. I see them off. I get home, my dad's sitting in the kitchen and he has his head down on the table like this. And I think to myself man, that's kind of strange. He doesn't normally hang out in the kitchen like that and he kind of looks like a lost puppy. And so I said hey, dad, what's going on? I go in the kitchen. He's like how was it? How was your day? I'm like, oh, it's fantastic, I'm getting something to drink. And then the phone rings. He says it's for you, it's for me. What does that mean? I'm like I know, you're prophetic, dad. So I head to the phone and I hear this scared, timid female voice on the other line and she says I don't know if you're going to believe this, but I'm your sister. So I say OK, I'm 18 years old.

11:14
Up until that point, my mom tried to tell me like once or twice I was like whatever. You know, I was dealing with trying to keep my head afloat, being a pastor's kid and dealing with a divorced family. That's, that's the honest truth. You know, I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to care about something that I couldn't do anything about. Anyway, I'm already dealing with a situation that I can't do anything about but just prayerfully endure, you know. And so I thought maybe I had a sibling. Honestly, when I was like 13, 14, I thought I might have had a twin. I was like, you know, whatever, there's another handsome guy out there, you know.

11:55
So when she calls me, I'm like okay, and then we begin talking. We end up talking for two hours. She's like going through the things that she likes, and I'm like, wow, this is crazy. She's like I love macaroni and cheese. I'm like, oh, my God, I love macaroni and cheese. This is incredible. Are we siblings Like? This is crazy.

12:18
And we start talking and then we, three-way, call my older sister who's 10 years older than me and she was actually I come to find out later on she was taking care of me, my biological mother. She battled serious depression and was just absolutely unable to care for us at the time. It was a very bad financial situation. My biological dad was a tugboat captain. He was out for months and months at a time and my biological mother was left by herself dealing with this trauma, this condition, and so my 10-year-old sister at the time, she would care for me, she would change my diapers. I learned all this over the years. This was not just in this first phone call, you know. And so we have this conversation. Everyone's on the call. I three-way call my other sisters, because I have three sisters actually.

13:20
After I was given up for adoption, my biological parents divorced because it was just too much for them to handle. The family was just completely torn apart. They got back together again, they got married and they had another child, my youngest sister, sarah, who was born on my birthday, August 2nd, exactly four years to the day, and they took that as a sign from God that they had done the right thing in giving me up for adoption. You know, I'll be honest with you. It's really a crazy. When I look at it now, I mean I have five children, three daughters and one son. That's five children, three daughters and one son. That's four kids, four daughters and one son. Forgive me, I didn't do well in math To lose the namesake.

14:14
The name is not passed on. I'm not passing on the last name Stecker, that was my birth name. I'm passing on the last name D'Onofrio, that was my birth name. I'm passing on the last name, d'onofrio, you know. And so, just from a natural standpoint, like it, the whole thing is just. It's such, there's such divine providence in it, you know, and we're talking and we end up flying them up.

14:39
My dad flew them up to be a part of my graduation, and that the first time I met them was at my, you know, the weekend of my high school graduation. And so I was the most insecure I've ever been in my life. I've never been that insecure before and I've never been that insecure since. I was panicking that people were going to think I was a fraud. I was panicking. You're not a real D'Onofrio.

15:09
My identity was in question from my perspective. I was excited to meet them, but I was also very concerned. I was concerned about how my parents were going to handle it. I was concerned about how my friends and my family were going to handle it. I was concerned about how the church was going to handle it. I was concerned about how my friends and my family were going to handle it. I was concerned about how the church was going to handle it. You know, because you know, I grew up not as a public figure, but a semi, a semi public figure, you know, and even you know, today I'm I'm not like a, you know, celebrity or like a well-known person, but within my community, you know, there are people that, like my life, you know, is observed more than others, you know. And so I'm like they're going to think my dad was sleeping around. They're going to think, you know, I was just.

15:57
I mean, I was so nervous, I was so scared. My sister Sarah, who was born on my birthday, I mean we look like we could be twins. She looks exact. I mean, I think I look better as a man personally, but we could be twins. And so when they first came, we come down to the office and they're going to use the bathroom and there's a lady, one of the church members, at the time she comes over she goes my God, you guys look so much alike. Has anyone ever told you that I was like? No, I was like my God, there's no hiding this. There's no hiding this, you know. And I was nervous, I was scared, but thank you Jesus. I was scared but thank you Jesus. I thank God for the character and the love of my family and the people around me and the church members. They received my sisters with open arms, they never questioned who I was and I still get emotional thinking about it.

17:02
To be honest with you, it was such a revelation to me, you know, on so many levels, to learn about that past and the story, the abuse that had gone on in that situation, and then for us to reconnect and then also to look at my life and to see how, on purpose, I mean I am, I mean I was, I was literally brought here for this. You know so. So I have this, this thing that I always say like literally brought here for this. You know so. I have this thing that I always say like I was born for this, like I am so certain, I am so sure that God brought me here, brought me to Earth, brought me to New York for a specific assignment to be used by Him. I mean, it is so evidently clear to me, and my hope is that when I share my story, is that others would be able to know that you are just as on purpose as I am. Maybe your story is not my story, but you have a story, and in that story, god's glory is gonna be revealed through the process, through the pain, through the joy, through the trials, through possibly some losses, but in the end, it's about revealing God's plan and God's love that he has for each one of us, and so I don't mean to give a plug, but I actually I wrote a book called Love Me Through it All, and so how this book came about so the title Love Me Through it All.

18:33
I actually I was having a conversation with my sister Samara she's the one who found me when I was 18. And we were having this conversation my youngest sister. She was dealing with a situation with a serious identity crisis. She was in a relationship, a same-sex relationship, and the family is fourth-generation Christian, and so it was a very tough time for them dealing with that. She's since moved on from that and she's married. She has three girls, but it was, it was. It was a tumultuous time just trying to navigate that and not try to lose her, but also trying to help her find the truth in the whole situation. And she was just talking, talking, talking.

19:19
This is maybe four years after we had reconnected reconnected, I say met, but technically reconnected and so she hangs up the phone. I hardly said anything, I was just, I was just a sounding board, pretty much, you know. And it's about 12 30 in the morning. She texts me. She's like did I complicate your life finding you? Are you mad that I found you? You know, which is a very valid question, you know, because she literally rocks my world, you know, literally changed my entire perspective, my entire outlook on life, you know. And so I immediately I texted her back and I said, no, I, I thank you, I thank God that you found me because you showed me how important I am to God, that God would allow all of this and orchestrate through all this mess to bring a message. And so I sat there. It was about 1245 am.

20:18
I was sitting there on my couch in my bathrobe and I got my guitar and I had tears just pouring down my eyes and I started singing. I wrote this song called Thank you that you Love Me Through it All. I wrote that song and it's actually there's a QR code in the back of the book to hear that song. And the song came from the understanding of my adoption and how I came to be here. And so, after all of that, some years later, I said, man, this could be a book. This story is intense.

20:56
So what I did was I asked Samara, my sister Samara, my sister Rebecca, who was the oldest sister, who took care of me. I spoke to my dad, who raised me and my perspective, and I melded the stories of Samara's perspective, Rebecca's perspective, my dad's perspective and my perspective. And so there's pieces where it starts and stops and then another piece starts and comes together and you see this whole unfolding. You see tragedy, you see bewilderment, you see, you know, just a family being ripped apart, but then you see it coming back together by the hand of God, you know. And so this book Love Me Through it All is the book, and I actually had the foreword done by Pastor Samuel Rodriguez I don't know if you know Pastor Sammy, he's out of Sacramento, he's one of my spiritual overseers and a mentor to me and this is the first time, my first book that I've ever written time, my first book that I've ever written and just to get it on paper, to write it down the story of God's incredible hand, how it moved, even through tragedy.

22:18
And again, the purpose is not just to share my story, the purpose is to let others know that whatever you have gone through, we all have a story. Whatever you have gone through, god is loving you through all, through it all, and he is bringing you to an expected end. Stay the course. You know God is for you. You know be encouraged through through what you're dealing with. Yeah, that's where I grew up and that's where I came from.

22:40 - Speaker 3
Yeah, I mean that's why we call this Faithly Stories, because I realize there's power in the story. It resonates with the human heart kind of like, helps us kind of be in the story, but also kind of like resonates like who am I in the character of my story and stuff like that. So the redemption story is just a healing story of what was broken and then God kind of like brings it together. So, yeah, you have such a beautiful family story. How did that experience shape you as a husband and a father?

23:07 - Speaker 1
Yeah, every child. So we got married and my, my focus again was my experience growing up. I didn't, I didn't want to get married, you know so. So let's start from the, from the, from the bottom. Let's start from from the base level, right, growing up as a youth in Christianity, celibacy is one of the tenets of our faith, right, and I believe in that, and so all of my friends you know. The idea is, you know, once you get married you're legal. You know, now it's party time. You know what I'm saying? Not with everyone. With your spouse, the marriage bed is undefiled, and so that was the whole thing. But I remember we were sitting around having a fire on a summer night and the fellas we're having fella guy talk, man, I can't wait to get married. You know, lord, help me. You know, and I was like man I I really hate to throw a wet blanket on this party, but I don't. I don't want to have, I don't want to get married to have sex. I want to get married to restore what was stolen from me. Your family has been. It was stolen from me. It's been an attack From before I was conscious, family was.

24:34
I mean, I don't remember any time spent in Florida. So from before I could remember, I went from a bad situation, so bad that they allowed me to be bodily removed from it. I was two and by the time I was seven my parents were legally divorced already. So I went from rocky to stable for like a year and a half to unstable, and so when I was getting married I was like yo, like I'm going to break this curse that's, that's trying to attack this family. You know, like I'm not, I'm not going to allow that. You know, like, in Jesus name, you know like, obviously it's all God, you know. But my focus was, you know. And then, especially after having known I was adopted, I said no man, you know, I am not doing this, I'm doing this once and I am doing this right. And I began to look at what is what? What family is, you know, the man and the woman coming together to become one. That's the image of God in the earth. That's what marriage is. Marriage is the coming together of the image of God in the earth. That's what marriage is. Marriage is the coming together of the image of God in the earth. And if the image of God can get marred, if the image of God can be distorted, then the entire society goes into anarchy. I believe if we have strong families, we'll have strong societies.

26:04
I believe that the key to gun control is not necessarily stronger legislation but stronger fathers. I believe that the problem, the solution to the gang issue is not necessarily better policing although we do want that and proper policing, not people using excessive force. You know, like using discernment, like we need that, we want that, but that's not the real solution. The real solution is when you look at all of these gang members. Their families were broken. How many, how many of them came up in the foster care system. They had no structure, and so so when I, when we embarked on having our family, you know I'm taking all of this into account, and so all of my experience, and then my understanding where I came from, has formed and shaped me into having such a conviction about the strength of family, the necessity of family. The most powerful seat in all of the world is a seat at the table with your family. We can change the world by having dinner together, by imparting truth, by helping with conflict resolution, by telling our kids we love them. You know how many relational issues are because people are insecure. I mean, it's unbelievable.

27:32
Jesus didn't even start his ministry until he had the Father's affirmation this is my son in whom I'm well pleased the Father's affirmation and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. He was endued with power from on high. Then he told his disciples you can't move until you get this Holy Ghost. Stay here, I'm going to send you the comforter and when he comes, then go. So there's a structure, there's a support system that we all need, and I truly believe it starts with family and so has our family.

28:08
You know, is everything perfect all the time in my house? Of course not. We've been married, jacqueline and I. We've been married this. This, uh, this july will be 13 years and we have had two fights in 13 years, but they were, were like fights. You know what I'm saying? Like it was, like it was like a disaster, and so I'm like you know, we're going to, we're going to stay the course I am.

28:34
Every time I have the opportunity, I'm graced with the privilege of being able to speak to God's people. I always pray for families because I believe if you have strong families, you'll have a strong church, and if you have a strong church, you'll have a strong community, and that spreads throughout the country. You'll have a strong country if first, if you have strong family structures. So anything that's anti-family is against the original institution that God has started. God didn't start the church until Acts, chapter 2. He started the family in Genesis, chapter 1. Family is the number one, is the first institution that God ever ordained and within that family is the dominion mandate. Our power is within that. So how has that shaped you? A hundred percent. That has shaped me and every.

29:32
I'll be honest. Can I tell you another thing? Every time that one of my kids turned two years old because that was when I was giving up for adoption I say, oh, my god, I could, I, I don't know, you know, and I go from bewilderment how could this be? And then I slip into empathy, say, wow, what kind of a dark place could you have been in that the only viable option is to give him up. I have no regret, I have no animosity.

30:03
Like I told you previously, I know 100%, 1000%. I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This is the life that God has ordained for me, no question. But at the same time I see the human side of me, you know. And then I see Regan, my son. He's the baby of our family. I was the baby of my family at the time. He's this. I'm just like it's unbelievable's making me a better husband and a better father because of the reflection that I'm able to have, knowing what I know about family and having experienced what I've experienced about family how has being a dad of four girls shaped you as a man?

30:58
can I be real, I'm just gonna be very honest with you. The hardest part of being a father and husband, for that matter, but talking about being a father the hardest part about being a father for me is not doing what I want to do when I want to do it. There is a stubbornness, meltdowns, and I have gotten so frustrated, you know I, I it's gotten better, you know, but but the slow pace of being able to move, you know. So our kids are 12, 10, 7, 6 and 4. So I mean we had three in diapers at one time. We had we had six pregnancies in eight years. I mean Jacqueline couldn't keep her hands off me, you know. So I was just. You know I said Lord bless her.

31:54
You know what I tell my kids I love them and I'm proud of them. I've said it from when, the first day that they came home, from the first time I saw them, I held them, I told them I'm proud of them. You know I love my dad. I know my dad is proud of me, now more than ever, but growing up I didn't, I didn't hear it that much. I think it's just it was a generational thing. I don't think he heard it from his dad and and I don't think he heard it from his dad and I don't think it was necessarily a major thing for them to want to change, but for me, that was something that I wanted to change.

32:33
I wanted my kids not only to know it by how the Lord is empowering me to provide for them and protect them through His sustenance and through His provisions, but I also want them to hear it I'm proud of you. I tell my daughters you know you're going to be a great wife. You're going to be a great mom. I tell Regan, you're going to be an incredible husband. Son, you know I'm proud of you. That's something that I know how powerful the affirmation of a father is, and so I want them to feel that and know that at an early age, because I believe that that's going to keep them out of trouble, that's going to keep them from falling for traps and enticements of the enemy. It's been something that is still making me into a man and I am grateful for the process, but it's not always been easy.

33:30 - Speaker 3
How did you meet your wife?

33:31 - Speaker 1
So this is, this is one of those things, remember, I told you, I said, god, I want to be used any way, you want to use me. So we were having, we were doing one of our plays. At the time, american Idol was, was popping, was very big, so we had like an american idol scene and I was, I was, I was playing the role of a guy. You know how they have, like the terrible singers and then the good singers. I was one of the terrible singers, you know, and um, my name was jamie ramsey and, um, we were running the play for an extended period of time, um, and it was like seven, eight weeks. Every Friday night we were running it. And so some of the people that were originally involved, they had prior commitments because we kept, we kept going, because of how many people kept coming to the shows, there was a need for someone to fill in a spot, and so Jacqueline was asked. We had been, she had grown up in the church, she had left for a season, then came back during that revival in 2001.

34:34
When, god you know when my life changed. She was in that and a part of that, but we had never met. We were at parties at the same time we were in a house, the same house, and I didn't even see her there, you know. I mean, I mean just totally did not see her, totally. She was veiled, she was covered from me, you. And so she says yes, to be a part of the show. It's rehearsal. We were actually having a called out rehearsal, the the.

35:04
I was leading that dance team at the time, and so she comes walking in to do a rehearsal and my head was just on a swivel. I'm like what the jiggles? Who's that lady Like? Who are you? You know? Like where'd you come from? You know? And so she was there, and then she's, I'm like she's in the show. So I'm hanging out in the green room and I'm like what you know? I felt like I felt like Jesus, like how come you haven't showed yourself to the priest? You know, like, like when he was talking to the lepers after they were cleansed, go show yourself to the priest. Where have you been? I mean, I know I'm here. How come I haven't seen you, you know?

35:44
And so it was from that, from her obedience to being in that, that sparked, or that was the moment that my eyes were open and we started a friendship. And from that point on, it was two years, from hello to I. Do so, we dated and we started dating in August. Do so, we dated and we started dating in August and by February I heard God speak to me something very profound. I wasn't even asking, I had woken up in the morning and kind of just still just in this dream state, coming to consciousness, and I heard the Lord say don't marry her because you love her. Marry her because I said yes. And I have seen many great women and many great men, far more talented, far greater in ability and gifting than me, completely destroy their lives from marrying the wrong person, you know. And, uh, I wasn't asking, but I took that as as God saying yes, you know, you know. And so that was.

37:02
I had God's yes, you know, and it was about six months into the relationship. I said, all right, I'm going to wait, you know, going to wait till around our anniversary, our dating anniversary, which would be another six months. But I'm 90% sure that this is what God is saying to me. And so I talked to my dad and he said son, you know I can't make the decision for you, you know, but I'm behind you 100 percent for what it's worth. I think. I think she's a great woman. You know she's a great girl and he allowed me to make that decision. It's, it's, it's been. Jacqueline has been an incredible. Ok, let me put it this way she's the best PR move I have ever made in my life.

37:53
The moment Jacqueline became my wife, all of a sudden, oh, they started taking me more serious. You know, it was like it was unbelievable. And then the kids forget I'm a legit person now. I went from being Regan the court jester not giving a rip, to now, wow, he's got a family and he's, oh, wow, this beautiful woman and she's smart and she's intelligent and I didn't know it. But God was giving me a solution to a giant in my life when I married Jacqueline.

38:29
So when I was getting married, the day before I was getting married, I was praying and God spoke to me and I've never heard this before and I've not heard it since. So what I'm going to tell you I've never heard applied this way. I've never heard anyone say it again. The Lord spoke to me and he reminded me of when the children of Israel came to the waters of there were these bitter waters that they could not drink in the wilderness waters, that they could not drink in the wilderness. And the Lord told Moses to get a stick, to get a branch, and throw the branch into the bitter waters. Miriam had come and told him we can't drink this water. Come and these waters that were bitter, that were undrinkable, they were unsanitary, it was unbearable Through this branch in the waters and then the waters that were bitter became sweet and the Lord told me that Jacqueline was my branch. Jacqueline would take the bitter waters of family that I had endured, that was unbearable at times, and she would come and she was the branch that would make those waters sweet.

39:55
Things are not always perfect. Do we have situations come up? Sure, you know, when man looks for a remedy, man looks for a plan to fix a situation. God doesn't look for a plan, god looks for a person. God sends a man or a woman as the solution for the problem. God sent me Jacqueline. I didn't choose her, god chose her. I listened to God. That's what happened. And not only did she help heal the waters, the bitter waters of family, but, as I told you, evidently she helped heal the bitter waters of my scholactics and my learning as well.

40:49
My hope is that everyone would listen to God when it comes to marrying the right person for you. You know, because I tell my church all the time God is not going to send you in a relationship that's going to end in debacle. God's not going to set you up in a situation that's going to end in divorce. It's going to end in misery.

41:10
He leads us not to stormy waters Psalms 23. He leads us besides still waters. He brings us to green pastures. He's not going to lead us to deserts and dead ends. Yeah, will we go through deserts? Yeah, but you understand what I'm saying. It's not going to be a problem. You're going to have problems, but the situation is not going to be a problem. So there's going to be a storm around you, but as long as the storm isn't between you, you're good. Water hitting the boat is different than water in the boat, and God's not going to send you a boat with a hole in it. I'm a testimony of that and so I know I said a lot. I'll stop now, but that's who Jacqueline is to me.

42:01 - Speaker 3
You know she's who God sent me on so many levels that has helped bring about the plan of God for my life. How did you get connected with Upper Room?

42:05 - Speaker 1
Was that your dad's church? Yes, yep. So my dad started the church. He got saved radically in 1974. And right from there he was a hippie, a guitar player. The only reason why I play guitar is because there was a 19 telecaster butterscotch telecaster that I still play, that I still have to this day. That was my dad's Seeing him play and always having that guitar around and it was always out inspired me to play, to want to be a player, and he started in Brooklyn and then he felt God call him to Long Island. And so he came out to Long Island in 1977, started in the basement of a family member, his cousin, and the basement grew and grew and grew. Signs and wonders, miracles. I mean the revival that was happening. It was a happening.

43:02
And in 1980, they bought a piece of property that we are, that we're on today. The faith of my grandfather, who passed away before any of the building was put up. He never saw any of it, but it was his faith that said this is the property. At the time it was a horse farm. My dad didn't have the faith for it. He was looking at a smaller building, something that was more reasonable. But don't you know that faith often is unreasonable and it requires us to press beyond where we've ever been before. And so he said okay, dad, we'll do it. And the first building that was built on this property was done in 90 days three months. So August 29th 1980 was the first Sunday on this property that we now have, and from there the church continued to grow and grow and grow. Five building expansions ended up building a 30,000 square foot auditorium, and so we have a gymnasium.

44:14
It's unbelievable what God has done through the vision that my dad has cast and the generosity of God's people. You know through the years of God's people. You know through the years, and so, after I came to know Jesus personally that really I didn't know it, but that really began my path to becoming a pastor. I was ordained a pastor in 2008. And then this August will be two years now that I've been senior pastor here at the church, and it's been truly an incredible roller coaster, and we're just getting started.

44:53
I'm so excited for what's next and what God is now doing here with the church, and to be a part of this legacy is an honor. One of the things that I hope is that I'm proud to be my dad's son. One of the things that I hope is that I'm proud to be my dad's son. It's one thing to be proud of your kids, but it's another thing to have your kids to be proud of you, and my hope is that my kids will be proud to be my children, just like I'm proud to be my dad's son, because it's truly been a blessing. I would not be who I am if it wasn, if it wasn't for him, you know, and he's an unbelievable man. He's an unbelievable man. I'm thankful to God to have him.

45:36 - Speaker 3
You said you had some music and a book coming out. What's that about?

45:39 - Speaker 1
Yeah, so I have music on iTunes. My first album I released in 2010, the end of 2010, really 2011. And that's where the song your Love that's on that album, the song Love Me Through it All, is on that album. So then I got married in 2011. And we were thrown into this baby making thing, you know. So the music kind of just sat for a while, you know, because you know, if you don't sell the music, the music kind of just sat for a while. You know, because you know, if you don't sell the music, the music doesn't sell. You know, same thing with books books don't sell, you sell books. You know, uh, and so it kind of sat, but I was still writing, um, I was still playing and um, and then so, uh, 2020, I released a single after you know so many year hiatus, called Right there, right there the whole time. And then I continued to write, and my most recent release is I've Got Joy, just released in November. A lot of fun. That song is available on all streaming platforms.

46:47
This book is available on Amazon as well. All of the proceeds go to feed my children, because I have five of them. If anyone wants to know where the money's going, it's going to my kids. Yeah, I'm excited about the music. I have more music. That's coming as well. It's in the works right now. We've been in the studio. Oh yeah, music is a part of my life. I can't get away from it, you know, and I'm also prayerful to continue to write a few more books as well, just because I feel like getting the message out, putting it on paper. You know, there's something special about that, you know, and I'm grateful to have been able to do that with this book as well.

47:32 - Speaker 3
I have last two questions. What are you hoping for at Faithly?

47:35 - Speaker 1
I'm hoping for an opportunity to share my story, to meet other people, to be a part of a faith community that's a part of the solution and not the problem. There are so many issues that don't have answers. You know, my hope is that faithly can become an answer for people, can become part of the solution, can become, you know, something that God can use to bring people closer to him and closer to each other.

48:01 - Speaker 3
And how can we be praying for you and your family right?

48:04 - Speaker 1
now. You know, the thing that I pray for the most is wisdom. There's not a thing that I pray for more. You know, the life that we live is the amalgamation of the choices that we make, and if we can make better choices, we can live better lives, you know. And that all has to do with wisdom, that all has to do with processing, that all has to do with the information that you get and what you do with that information. And so, as a husband, I need wisdom. As a father, I need wisdom. As a pastor, I need wisdom. So my prayer is for wisdom. So if you could add that to your prayer list, I mean I would be forever grateful.

48:50 - Speaker 3
Yeah, of course we all need wisdom. I'll write you down. Thanks for coming on the podcast, it was fun.

48:55 - Speaker 1
Yeah, man, I really appreciate it.

48:56 - Speaker 3
Thank you for having me All right, that's it for the podcast guys.

48:59 - Speaker 2
Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly Podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.