Empowering Your Life with Grace - Jessica Jernigan

00:01 - Speaker 1
Grace is not doing the things you've kept doing and then asking for forgiveness. Grace, is you understanding that God sent His Son to take that stuff that you're doing so that you don't have to keep living this way? You are empowered to not live in this constant, perpetual state of sin that you're in. You can be redeemed, you can be saved, you can be set free, and grace is the concept that I think most people. When they get it, it changes their world. I'm Jessica Jernigan. I'm a wife, a mom, a children's pastor, a publisher and an author. I have come from a long, long line of ministry extraordinaires and cannot wait to share with you my Faithly story.

00:48 - Speaker 2
Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast.

01:30 - Speaker 1
Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it. How did?

01:32 - Speaker 3
you connect with Alicia?

01:35 - Speaker 1
So I met her at the Orange Conference in April of this last year. She was one of the vendors and my husband and I and then our youth pastor and his wife were both there and so we're just out doing the vendor stuff and I connected with Alicia, got her card and found out what it was, what Faithly actually was, and so later on that day I went back to her booth and I was like tell me more. This is super cool Because obviously I'm very aware of LinkedIn and know that life, because obviously I'm very aware of LinkedIn and know that life. But this is just a really neat approach to connection in the ministry world, which I've been doing this my whole life.

02:13
Essentially, my dad was in ministry, still is, he's our pastor and my grandpa was in ministry. So I really do come from the legacy of ministers and doing this thankful time and it's a thankless job and it's a lonely job sometime. And so I really loved what Alicia had when we first met of just getting connections of even people that just understand they don't even have to have the exact same underlying beliefs on everything. It's just we understand ministry is hard and so very cool how we connected and then we just ended up having a Zoom a couple of months ago and now we're here, so super neat.

02:53 - Speaker 3
Yeah, I understand. I was a pastor for 10 years before I started coding. Yeah, Wait. So what booth?

02:57 - Speaker 1
were you at.

02:59
So I actually wasn't a vendor, I was just an attendance. So I have a publishing company but I'm also a children's pastor and so we went on a whim. Like my dad was like, okay, find a conference and we love orange and I've known orange theory for quite a while and and um, what they've done. And so I got on and was like I don't even know when their conferences and it just happened Like I planned it like a month and we're like let's go. And so we just like again came on a whim, but I think next year for the 2023, I believe we're going to actually be a vendor there, so that'll be really cool to set up shop and kind of share our resources and our books that we're doing currently in our publishing world.

03:44 - Speaker 3
Do you ever listen to Joe Rogan? Yes, yeah, I love Joe so he he just super casual and authentic in himself and like I realized the world is looking for.

03:57 - Speaker 1
I think that's the. That's the vein. People don't want it to be polished, they just want talking or just kind of experience and stories. I think that you are very much on the right path, for sure.

04:10 - Speaker 3
Yeah, something I've been realizing more and more. In a digital age where there's just so much information now and a lot of it is just opinion, you know like people are wanting to connect and like on a heart level, and when you genuinely express yourself and become vulnerable, there are other people that like, can relate to you, and then that's what's most attractive.

04:30 - Speaker 1
So, yeah, I just wanted to say that's the part is that people can say, oh, I didn't know, I was the only one, or I thought I was the only one that felt that way, and now I'm not, so it's. It definitely opens up the opportunity for conversation and for healing too, I mean for people that have gone through tragic things.

04:47
they can always find someone who's been in that and doesn't even like. I don't necessarily need to preach at you, I don't necessarily need to tell you all this great insight. It's that, hey, I've been there and this is what helped me, and I think that's so needed in the church and in the world as a whole. But I think that that is where most people are going to and gravitating to is just that authenticity, that they don't want something so polished anymore.

05:14 - Speaker 3
Yeah, so it's actually out of my own personal necessity too. It's because I've lived this life where, like people said, I was crazy, right, like because you got to conform that's not going to get you anywhere. And then I always felt crazy until I started sharing my story and you see it in people's eyes like you too, and I was like you too, yeah, and I feel like you know why don't you tell me yeah, that's exactly right.

05:41
We're so conditioned because, again, in this world where, like you know, the outside is everything, obviously you want to project this thing so that you seem valuable, but the value is actually in the inside and if we just kind of pulled on the walls, we realized we have this common thing of like just hurt and suffering and we need help and we need each other and we need perspective. And so, yeah, that's kind of like my take on this podcast, but also just cause I'm super interested in meeting people and I love hearing God's story, cause every time I hear someone how did you get here? How did you get here?

06:16 - Speaker 1
That's so true. I love that. That's amazing. Um, I think that this is going to do very well because, like I said, I think people need that and people desire perspective and without even telling others you know, like they don't they might not know that they need perspective.

06:32
But just sometimes, when we can kind of get out of ourselves and kind of go to that, that aerial view, when you see completely different and get that almost kingdom perspective too, of I don't have to see what's exactly in front of me, I can see further on down or I can assess the entire situation as a whole. And I think that just helps with the faith journey, because it's a journey, it doesn't ever feel like it ends Right. When you feel like, okay, I've accomplished this, or I have learned this really well, or this has been, I'm in perseverance mode or character hope or whatever, and then this next thing happens and you're like, oh, come on, and so it's just kind of this, one thing after another, some really good, some incredibly difficult, but at all of it. At the very end you kind of look back and say, okay, this is why I went through this, or this is what God turned around for good when the situation didn't look so good, so I love it.

07:27 - Speaker 3
That's exactly why I'm writing a book, because I realized I need to get this on and it's funny because you have a publishing company.

07:34 - Speaker 1
It's true, I know a girl.

07:36 - Speaker 3
So that's actually my transition. I was like I was, you know, doing a little research just because I wanted to be a little prepared. Yeah, research, just because I wanted to be a little prepared. Yeah, can you tell me more about?

07:45 - Speaker 1
your abounding publishing and how you got there and what was your story.

07:48
It is a very cool way that we got to where we are and even I tell people like, had anyone told me, you know, five years ago, you're going to have a publishing company, I would have laughed at them Like that is not me. I have nowhere, no idea where to start, how to do this. But, like I had mentioned, I have been in ministry my entire life. I was birthed into it essentially. I think my dad started his first children's pastor job when I was very young, probably less than five, so this is the only life that I've ever known. There's been some really hard years, some barely making it, because ministry doesn't always pay great, and I'm the second of six kids, so there's lots, lots of siblings in the mix. My mom stayed at home. That's what she wanted to do is be a mom, and she was really good at it. We got to stay home with her, my dad in the ministry side of things, and so just how we got to the point of the ministry side is the Lord in and of itself. But through all that, I saw a lot of things growing up specifically in children's ministry and how kids have changed so drastically. They haven't Like. Their insides have always stayed the same. They always desire the same thing, but their exterior world is vastly different. When I was a kid and then when I was a teen and now that I have my own kids. And so I've been in children's ministry, been in the creative side, I've been in the difficult minister side, I have been with the people, I've been the mentee and the mentor and I've done all of this stuff and a couple I think it was about six years ago my oldest brother, he's kind of our entrepreneur of the family. He loves to start businesses and he's very good at that. He's very leader mentality and he's got all these things going and he said I want to start a publishing company and I think that we can get books into the world with, you know, biblical foundational truths, application that kids can use, that these are good books, not that we're the only ones doing it, but we can also provide this resource to families. And so I was coming on as a contract employee. I was going to be the contract author. I was going to write till my fingers couldn't write anymore and that was like. That was my dream. You know, I was like that. That's where I'll fit for sure I'm in and through a process of a devastating flood in their life that should have killed them even. It was just an incredible thing that God rescued them from. They had lost everything. And it kind of gave my brother just this perspective.

10:33
I remember when he called me one day and he was just like everything has shifted in my life. I mean, I thought this was the road that I was on and it turns out. You know, I'm staring at this thing face on and going like what do I do now? And he started his own contract. He's a general contractor now. He started his own construction company. And then he said in this phone call I'm giving you a publishing company. And I was like I don't really know what to do, even to the point where I Googled how to start a publishing company and because I was like this is so out of my element. I have absolutely no clue what to do, where to start Um, and it has been about almost three years of um, investment and prayer and tears and all the things, but the at the end of this, you know on the days that my why is the only thing sustaining me, because it's not the you know, incredibly fruitful capital in the business or the amazing marketing that I'm doing or all of this, you know, outside stuff.

11:34
It's this why am I even doing this? Like at any point in time I could give this thing up and be like I can't, like this is outside of my reach, um, and I think it's good to stay outside of your reach sometimes, because then that whole entire I get to trust Jesus comes into play. Like I'm at my last straw, I don't know what else to do other than to rely on you. So I am at the point of what is my why. What is my why? And it is simply to provide all of this knowledge base that I have in the ministry world, in children's ministry, with people managing people and going.

12:11
They all that they want, truly all that they want is someone to care enough about them to say this is how you do this, like they want to teach their kids the Bible, they want to teach their families the things of the Lord and spiritual concepts, and when they choose that, like they're all in, but sometimes we don't have the availability or we don't have the resources or we don't have the time or we just don't know. Um, they they're just say I don't know how to teach my kid this thing. So how do I team up and partner with a parent, how do I partner with a kid and say, hey, here's a book about purpose, because there's going to be times in your life that you might not understand why God gave you the gift that he gave you. But let me give you a donkey who can help you understand. And Daisy Donkey is all about using your gifts. Here's a tire, an unconventional way to tell someone about gifts and callings. But here's a tire named Willie, and even though on the outside he's so cute and so fun and it's a great book, and at the end of the book and you're going oh, that makes sense, I just needed it to be tied in some way in some format in some media to tell tell me like this is what God has called me to do. He's never steered from it. I've always had this calling on my life, and so these are important things Like it's.

13:34
It's more than, of course, we know. The underlying thing is tell them about Jesus, tell them what Jesus did for them. Why are we here? What are? What's the gospel? What's the? You know the great commission, but what then? You know what happens after that when we have that understanding of Jesus.

13:51
Um, what about calling? What about purpose? What about, you know, anxiety? What about these situations I'm going? What about loss? What about? What about grief? What about all of these things that people have questions about? How do we resource the family with tools and things to say if you're going through this, then do this. Or if you're going through something, here's really good things that you can pull from to be able to do that.

14:18
So, with Abound Publishing, we have grander ideas of all these things that we want to go and do and how we want to impart this stuff to people.

14:27
But ultimately, our goal is that the parent or the grandparent or the child would read this thing and say, oh yeah, it's not so complicated, oh yeah, this is something attainable in the sense that I can remind myself that God's created me with purpose, with calling, with, with giftings, with things in mind.

14:50
Um, and that's, I mean, that's our heart is that parents would be free from what you talked about earlier, free from this facade and free from this outer feeling that they have to, um, earn this value or earn this spot in the world, or be someone that they're not, or put on this, this act, and that's kind of what we're wanting to strip away from. Providing us or them a resource is saying like, listen, at the end of this, the journey to Jesus is super important and this is how. This is another way you can get there. This is an additional step or additional resource that you can have, because this thing gets a little tricky sometimes, it can be a little overwhelming. So that's who we are. What we want to do mainly is just provide things for the parents and the grandparents and the children to say Jesus is with you and he's never going to leave you nor forsake you.

15:50 - Speaker 3
I love that. I love centering around purpose because you know, like faith, is essentially a startup Right, and so we are feeling so many pains. Yes, what helps is like seeing the vision toward the end goal right, and so, even when you get to like small markers, I realize in life you need a goal so far that you might never reach it in your lifetime, but it's such a good path that you get a good place to. Yeah, and so I love if everyone catches it.

16:26 - Speaker 1
If everyone's seeing where we're going, it's easier to get there. And I think even what you and I both probably have in common more or less is with the startup. You're holding so much stuff, you have the social media aspect and the marketing and the talking to people and the podcast and and and all this stuff and you're like I'm not really like.

16:48
That wasn't what I thought when I started this, because I had no idea what I was getting myself into, like, when you're dreaming this thing up, it sounds so great Like, oh, I'm going to help people. Well, you also have to have QuickBooks. And I'm not good at QuickBooks, yeah, I don't really. I don't really care about my books. I should care about my books. So how do I care about books and care about the books that we're writing?

17:12
You know, quickbooks and just regular reading books, and that was, I think, the hardest part. No one, everyone told me. I mean, it's difficult to start your own business and to sustain and to just stay with it. You don't really know until you know. It's the most character building exercise that I've ever done. Let's start a business and see what happens. Well, sometimes it's not so great, and so I think you and I kind of share in that that, even though this isn't exactly what we had in mind in every aspect. When you see that thing far down the road and you're like that is where I'm going, I know that's where I'm going, the vehicle, how I get there, I don't know yet but, that's exactly where I'm heading to and that just keeps the car on the path.

17:59
I mean it really does. It helps us to stay maintaining structure and maintaining hope and keeping the vision. And it also helps with I know I'm not at this point, but even with hiring or contract employees, when they catch the vision, it's very easy for me to hand over this book and say OK can you do this next part?

18:22
Because they love what we're doing and that makes it a lot easier than just someone who's doing this for a job and doesn't have any kind of vision for this company. It changes it. So I think having a business in the faith realm, in the faith business era, or in this vein of keeping Jesus first, is an entirely different part of business owning. And it's sometimes difficult, for sure, sometimes difficult.

18:52 - Speaker 3
Yeah, hope is such an amazing fuel to faith because it actually makes you believe like a child. You're like oh really.

19:01 - Speaker 1
This could work. Yeah, yes exactly Totally, it's so true.

19:07 - Speaker 3
You also have a web design business. Part of.

19:10 - Speaker 1
So that is my husband. One of the things that got us here a cool Lord. The Lord is always so kind. It's been since March. So my husband was a coach of 19 years. He was a varsity basketball coach. He coached boys. Then when we got married he was then the girls coach. That was just what we knew. I was a coach wife, then I was a mom and a basketball coach wife. With being a mom, I added babies. I have a six, four and two-year-old.

19:41 - Speaker 3
They're all girls.

19:44 - Speaker 1
I was essentially a single mom from November to March every year during this season of our life, and I loved it. There were some days that I was like this is awful About January. We always had some marital situations that would arise and we're like we forget. We do this every year. Why are we so surprised in January that we hate each other? Um, because we haven't seen each other in months and so we kind of got this um, really good game plan of like okay, here's how we're going to be a coach and a coach's wife.

20:17
And not only that, like I'm not a stay at home mom, at this point in my life I'm working, sometimes full time, then part time. At this point in my life, I'm working, sometimes full-time, then part-time. I'm also maintaining the house. He's gone literally Monday through Sunday because he had different ball games, different times of the week and like I mean it was nuts. And we just got to the point where we're like, okay, is this what we want to do? Like, is this, is this us forever? And he even got to the point where he just felt like there was more happening, there was a shift, and he really did just kind of press into this idea of like okay, I think the Lord has something for us. I don't know what it is. So back in March it was about spring break.

20:57
My husband is a sweet, sweet man and loves everything to be in a box Like. He is very white and black, everything must match, nothing out of sorts, and I'm like let's just wing it. And he's like that makes me have high 100%. And he's like let's not. And so he is very much by the book and part of the reason I love him because he's kept us on the straight and narrow and I would be in a ditch if not for Brian most days. So we are on our way to a spring break trip with some friends of ours and he looks over to me. We're driving down the road and he said what if I resigned? And I was like no, what? And he said what if I resigned? Cause the option was we didn't feel like there was an option for him to quit coaching and still be a teacher.

21:50
We're like we'll keep the retirement, we'll keep our we'll, we'll tell the Lord what sounds like a really good idea, which is we'll keep the good part and we'll, we'll give this up, you know, and we'll just do a bound web design on the side. He loves web design, he loves that that thing. He's done it, not for pay ever, but kind of realizing like oh, I think I could do this. It started with my website. I needed one. And he was like I think I can build it, and that's what happened. And then it kind of just trickled into this idea that maybe we could make a living at this. So he just said maybe I should resign. And I was like okay, like completely thrown off, and normally I'd be like, sure, let's do it, let's trust the Lord Cowabunga. No, I was like hold on.

22:37 - Speaker 3
Just chill.

22:38 - Speaker 1
I was like, let's do spring break, we're only going to be gone a couple of days. We're like we're away from everyone, our phones don't work up here. Let's just take this time and we'll just think about it. And he just never let up. He was like, yeah, this is, I think, what I want to do. And I was like, okay, so we come home. And I was like, listen, brian, I'll follow you into the wilderness. If that's what God's asking us to do, I will follow you. Let's do this thing.

23:02
So he and I both quit our day jobs, cause I was doing this on the side, I was just publishing on the side and it was a lot. And then, obviously, I'm doing publishing, children's ministry, being a coach's wife from November to March, being a mom, being a wife, like all this stuff. And I was like something's got to give, I'm going to implode. Um, we took everything that we knew every certainty, every security, every emergency fund, all the things that we knew as this. It wasn't an idol, but almost, in a sense, like this thing that we just put so much security in and we left it and we just said, okay, let's do this next step. And it was absolutely exhilarating, um, and we knew we, we asked, we were like Lord, please confirm this, because we need to know when the going gets tough, like we don't want to veer from this and question that this was you. We got a few confirmations in this time of prayer of this was absolutely the Lord saying this is the next step Give me what you have and I'll show you something better.

24:10
So that was wild. And we are living in the days of trusting the Lord with everything that we have Time, money, resources, you name it. We are in the in, in the throes of a testimony, coming on the other side of this and even to the point where we decided, like we even want our kids you know our two-year-old's not going to probably understand at this point, she's not going to remember, but we want this four and six-year-old to remember the days of of God being our provider when we thought we don't really know where it's coming from, we quit our jobs and the highest inflation, increase of rates, worst possible economic situation that we found ourselves in like let's quit our jobs and start our own business that we knew this has to be the Lord, because we would not have had this piece without it. So that's how we got to Abound Web Design and Abound Publishing was all in, like we started it kind of just to see what would happen, and then we're like you know what? It's more fun to do it this way.

25:22
Like it's more fun with the Lord if you just obey.

25:25 - Speaker 3
You're preaching. Oh, you're feeding my soul right now.

25:30 - Speaker 1
If you'll just jump, just do it. And even, as I told him, I said, I have to believe that even if we jump and fall flat on our face, that God's the healer. I mean like we're good. Like it's fine, even at the end of this if everything goes bad we're still redeemed and it's okay. So there's been days that he's had to help me and there's been days I've had to help him and we've, I really do think, have grown stronger in this.

25:57
And he even said like I feel like my character and you know, perseverance has increased in ample ways just from this, just from starting this company and really saying like it all falls on me Because even in this industry that he was happy but just not fulfilled in a way in the last several years. But he knew every month he was going to get a check.

26:19
It was not hard to trust because well we know we're on salary, because well we know we're on salary and so that even taking that out, it kind of settled in of okay God, like we need manna for today or we need something in this and just not wanting to stay in Egypt and you know, moving into the promised land. But like there is a time of walking in that wilderness, where we go okay, I don't know.

26:50
I don't know where this next thing is coming from. I don't know how you're going to provide, but if I can trust you for salvation, if I can trust you for you know delivering me from whatever it is, I can trust you to provide. That's who you are, that's your nature. So that's been a fun. It's been a fun time and lots of prayers and lots of tears, but ultimately, at the end of this, just remembering that if God is asking us to do this, God will sustain us in it.

27:20 - Speaker 3
So, yeah, in tech it's called the golden handcuffs.

27:23
It's like they give you so much security and certainty that you're kind of stuck of like, oh, I can't leave this. But the people that leave is people that have this like grand dream and like like it would kill them not to do it. Do you know what I mean? And I feel like god places that purpose in us. Um, and it's interesting because, like right now, where I'm in my life, I've always thought, thought about the leap of faith, and the illustration is always I mean Tim Keller uses this a lot where you're falling down a cliff and faith is just you reaching out and grabbing the branch right.

27:59
But now I realize understanding the physics of gravity a little bit. I'm going to get a little nerdy here. I like this when you're in free fall, you get to a terminal velocity where you're kind of floating right and if you close your eyes you would not know that you're falling right. It's only when you open it and you look down that perspective. And so my thing is like, oh yeah, like I trust, if I get splatted, that God will resurrect me or that he's so good he'll give me a soft landing Right, yes, that he is like my parachute or like a swift wind or whatever.

28:36
And I was like, oh, but taking that leap is so scary, but once you do it and you get to that terminal velocity of freedom, it's so freeing, yes, and I don't know how I ever lived any other way than just like. Oh, I'm trusting the Lord.

28:51 - Speaker 1
That's even so. I was having this conversation this morning actually, and I was like you know what's crazy is? There was a time in my life when, um, I felt like and I don't normally tell this story this sounds like, oh wow, that's so fancy, but I think for this conversation it's relevant. On my Facebook memories I got on today and 13 years ago I knew that the Lord was asking me to give my car away. And I mean 13 years ago I was young, 20s, I wasn't married, I had no concept of this, but I remember sitting in church and I remember the face of the 16 year old kid I was supposed to give it to. I remember all. I mean it was the wildest thing and the thing about it was I learned so much in two and a half weeks from telling the kid's mom OK, I know this sounds crazy, I would like to give your son my car. And she wept and wept uncontrollably. They had just lost. She had just lost her husband. He was a car guy, and they had. She had no idea how she was going to get Sean this car. Well, he was turning 16 in like a week. So I hear from the Lord in church he turns 16 that next week she has no idea how she's going to get him a car. He's wanting a Mustang Guess what? I drive a Mustang, um, and cause they were car people and he loved this certain type and all this stuff and it was absolutely the hand of God.

30:25
From the time that I did it, to the point that I handed the keys over and wrote the bill of sale, I was like, oh, I need a car. I am not a good biker, nor do I want to walk everywhere, not in the place that I don't have public transportation options, so I'm going to need to get a car. And in the process of this I had talked to a relative and I was like, hey, I'm needing a car. He's like, ok, well, he's like well, what can you sell, the one that you're selling? And I was like I'm not sure, because I didn't want to tell him like I'm giving it away, because I honestly thought he's going to think I'm a crazy person. And he did not.

31:09
So eventually I came to him and I was like, hey, guess what? I'm going to have to get my car away. And he said I knew that you were. And I was like, how? And he was like I don't know, I just I just knew and must've been the Lord, and, and so I told him and he was like here's my budget, here's what I'd like to stay and here's what I'm looking for.

31:37
And um, we get to a car lot and I found the car of my dreams. It was amazing and it was out of my price range, um. So I was like, well, let's test drive it and see if, like I even like this car type, is a Honda Accord. I was so excited, get in the car, loved it, fell in love, came back and told him I was like listen, I can't, this is not my budget. You know, didn't tell him what my number was, just said this isn't my budget. So you know, I'm going to keep looking. He said listen, I've had this car on the lot for 90 days and I've got to get it off of here. I'll give it to you for 9,000. And that was my budget.

32:05
Like that was my number and I was like, okay, I'll tell you, like, and it was absolutely the provision every set. But I think sometimes we, we only think, well, God, do you see me? Well, guess what he also saw.

32:22
he also saw the boy that I was giving the car to the mom of that son who's in worry and wonder and I don't know how I'm going to make ends meet. He saw the car dealer who needed this car off the lot and you know that was his maximum day count. And, like all of these things, he saw my grandpa, who I had asked about the car and his faith was encouraged based on me telling like, hey, I'm giving my car away. So all this stuff, and now I have this rock, and now I have this memorial rock where I can stack my rocks and say, god, look at all the times that you came through for me, that you did provide, and when we have that first story.

33:05
Sometimes the first story is the hardest.

33:06
We have that first testimony because you don't have anything other than you would think the word of God would be enough. You would think that all the, all the words from other people and the fathers of faith and all the ones who have gone through stuff no one in there bought a car or sold a car, you know. But they had their own car, life stories and that is the hardest part is going okay. Lord, I know you've shown up for me before. What does it look like when you show up for me? It might not be as big as a car, it could be a small thing that you know. God completely intervened. I remember sitting at a, I think I was at the target parking lot. I was pregnant with my second born and I immediately felt like this overwhelming fear about a cord being wrapped around her neck. And I was sitting there, I was about a month out from having her and I was like you know what, lord?

33:57
No, I said, if you have brought this to me, then you're good enough to take this and take care of her and she's yours, like I am covering her, she, we don't have any problems, I'm good, I, I dealt with it right there in the parking lot. Well, lo and behold, she is delivered. And, um, my mom and husband were both in there and kind of panicking I wasn't. I didn't know anything different, but they had told me later, after she was fine and all that, that she came out with a cord around her neck and my doctor was incredible and fixed it. Well, one of my best friends was in the waiting room and she texted me a day later and she said hey, did Sloan my middle? She said, did Sloan have cord trouble? And I was like, yeah, and she said I was feeling that in the waiting room, like I, I just kept seeing it and I just kept praying and I was like thank you, for you know like what a testimony to me as well that I have people in my corner praying for me and lifting us up.

34:52
So it's not hard to find the faithfulness of God. But it's kind of like digging for diamonds. Like anyone can find dirt, but you have to go dig for diamonds. And that is where we are, and especially in now, 2023, like when we're taking these leaps, when we're in that free fall, going okay, lord, even though I don't know if I'm going to crash and burn. I have no idea if I'm going to have a soft landing or if you're going to have to resurrect me in some way. I know before I've seen your hand of faithfulness in my life.

35:24
And I'm cool to trust you still with this, with what I have right now. So it's so much easier said than done too, like you're in the middle of it, as you know, starting this whole entire venture and going. I don't know, I have no idea, but I am bold enough to ask for what I need and to come to you and to trust that you see me and you see everyone else that I'm with. So I just think it's an opportunity to trust the Lord and to be steadfast in our faith. But it is not without some tears, that's for sure. Definitely cried a few.

36:03 - Speaker 3
Yeah. So what I'm learning? More and more that faith isn't here, it's here. You have to experience it, because without that experience it's not real, it's theoretical. And even in this venture, with Faithly, what's been helpful is talking to a lot of people who've done it before us, so we see kind of their pathway and not to say we follow it exactly, but it's like, oh, I see where the pitfalls are and where the successes are and so that experience and hearing it gives you the courage.

36:32
And so, even with the whole taking a leap of faith thing, I feel like most of my life I was taking like little jumps, so like when I was a kid, I would like jump off the curb right and then I would jump off like, like, like, like trees, but then it would get higher and as I get older I would get bolder right and take a bigger leap, until I just embrace the free fall because I was like you got me, because you know exactly and you know like I have the experience in the small leaps, that this big leap doesn't look so daunting.

37:08
Yeah.

37:08 - Speaker 1
And I think there is that thrill. I'm a thrill seeker. I love these roller coasters, love them, I was like please don't make me I. Actually, when we were dating we went to an amusement park so funny and he got on one and he was green the rest of the day and I was like I'm so sorry. I know you warned me and I know you're really mad at me and he was like no, I just I'm literally. You're never going to get me on another roller coaster.

37:31 - Speaker 3
So love is blind.

37:32 - Speaker 1
But I have to pick other people to go to the roller coaster and enjoy roller coasters. Maybe I love it because I know I'm still safe, Like I know. I know you see this scary, crazy stories on the news. I don't think about those, but I do think, like even in this thrill, like I'm going to have an emotional reaction when this thing takes off whatever it does if it's upside down.

37:53
But I know, like I'm cool, I'm secure, Like what's the worst thing that could happen, and so my approach is I like to feel that jolt of, you know, excitement and thrill, but it would be completely different if I had never done anything you know exciting or thrill.

38:13
thrilling for me to just get on a rollercoaster and be like well, let's see what happens. Um, I'm probably going to have an entirely different emotional experience, but I love that what you're saying. Like just from the curb to the tree to the thing, like sometimes God isn't asking us to go jump off the roof Like he's saying, will you just? And it might just be something that doesn't even. It's almost like a training.

38:35
I've even told a friend of mine, like she was asking about, like okay, how do you hear the Holy Spirit? And I was like I know, it's not like we make it so much more complicated than what it truly is, but it's just that gut Like, when you have the gut feeling, like when you're filled with the Spirit, when you love the Lord, the Holy Spirit is trying to tell you like don't or do or go or stop, whatever the case is. I said we make it so difficult. I said sometimes I truly do think that the Lord speaks to us to see if we're listening. There's not anything on the other end. It's not like well, you didn't listen and I'm all you know, beat you over the head with a baseball bat.

39:14
It's do you know my voice? Do you know if I'm telling you? That is why, in the middle of the jump, if you have this thing that goes back and says I know your voice and I know you told me to do this. Therefore, I am going to stand on this truth. It doesn't matter if everything looks grim, it doesn't matter if I don't think that this thing is going to work out. I know it was you because I know your voice.

39:43
He might not ask you to quit your job the very first time that you're listening actively to his voice. It might be take this road. It might be stay longer. It might be stay this. It might be send this person a text message. It's probably not going to be anything really incredibly. You know life changing, but it will change your life because things start making more sense and it becomes more prevalent in your life and it becomes easier to hear the voice of the Lord because we're in tune to it. And so I just think that it's important that we train ourselves and we let the Lord do some training in us, that we would go oh, that was easy. I know that was not the voice of another. That was the voice of you and therefore I can trust that voice, so it's very crucial.

40:32 - Speaker 3
The pattern I've been constantly seeing in myself is just God has the Father and we're his children, and so he's teaching us obedience in the little things because he has something really big planned. But we can't get there without doing the little things first, because the big things are really scary, because you have more to lose, you know.

40:54 - Speaker 1
And so this is not a. This is probably an unpopular opinion, but we've been going through this.

41:01 - Speaker 3
That's hilarious.

41:08 - Speaker 1
I think an unpopular opinion is some of the ways that we have um transitioned into parenting our children, transitioned into parenting our children. Reason being I absolutely am for. Like you hear the words gentle parenting, you hear spanking, you hear all the things. And then there's this great big divide of people, like I heard it once, and they said if you say I spank my kids, you've lost half your audience, but if you say I don't spank my kids, you've lost the other half.

41:37
And I'm like it's so true Like there is such a dynamic in parenting where people but if you say I don't expect my kids, you've lost the other half. And I'm like it's so true Like there is such a dynamic in parenting where people think if you do this, you're screwing up your kid, and if you do this, you're screwing up your kid. And I'm like we've got to stop, like we've got to chill. But my unpopular the way that we should.

42:05
Case in point, if my daughter is running into oncoming traffic and she knows my voice, but she does not listen to my voice that is going to be her demise.

42:21
It could kill her. Now there's going to be times that her hearing my voice and listening to my voice wouldn't get her in danger. Keep her in danger. But when I've asked you to do something, listen. Little four-year-old, little six-year-old, you don't have the perspective that I'm holding. I am your parent and I feel like I'm a healthy one. I feel like I'm one that wants good for you. I know that's not everyone's reality. I get that, but the ones that are following in pursuit of Jesus.

42:53
There is something so crucial to teaching obedience to our children, because I'm not going to be the only one that they ever have to listen to. I'm not going to be the only time that they hear obedience or need to obey. There's going to be bosses, there's going to be leaders, there's going to be teachers, there's going to be a God that they serve. That obedience is so necessary and we are not teaching it in a way that I feel like is healthy. We are giving them options to pick death or happiness, you know like.

43:35
Well, I want to go out into the middle of the road, so I don't really want to listen. Okay, but you don't really want to listen. Okay, but you don't understand at your four-year-old perspective. My perspective is seeing way more. It's experienced, it's wisdom, it's all these things that I'm bringing to this that this will lead to your death. This will lead to something that you don't want. Therefore, obedience is so important. I love an open space for kids to ask questions. I love for an open space for them for dialogue. I don't think that it should be a dictatorship in parenting.

44:06
I don't think we should have your, but sometimes and again unpopular, opinion. Sometimes the answer is because I said so. Like it's not, let's have a 30 minute, you know, debate about this and figure out why I asked you to do something. Sometimes the answer is I need you to do this because I've asked you to. I'm living at 32 years of age, in a season of my life where God has asked us to do something and his answer is I've said so.

44:40 - Speaker 3
Exactly.

44:41 - Speaker 1
This is why he has not told me why he asked us to do this. Yeah, cause I asked. Now guess what. It's my choice If I, if I obey it's my decision.

44:54
I get to decide that six year old, you get to decide that but we don't get to decide is our consequences? Yeah, unfortunately, um, and that stinks, but even to the point where I had, I feel like this really simplistic revelation of obedience um, my six-year-old last year so she was five she had come home from school and there was something in her bag that I knew wasn't hers but it was. I mean, you've got a parent with the holy spirit. It's so, wasn't hers, but it was. I mean, you've got a parent with the Holy spirit. It's so hard without him.

45:22
Um, but I was like, oh, something's off here. And so I went in and I was like, hey, what is this? And she was like, oh, that's um, you know. And I was like, oh, completely the worst liar in the entire world. So let's just see how this plays out. And, uh, so she's like waving and she's like, oh, no, that was my friends. And she gave it to me. And I was like you did. I was like which friend gave it to you? She changed the name of the friend and I was like, now, tell me again. So who gave?

45:45 - Speaker 3
it to you. Change the name again, your own stuff.

45:47 - Speaker 1
And she said okay, well, I know I didn't steal it. And I was like, okay, it was a dollar, like it wasn't, it was minuscule, you know. And I was like okay, I was like here's the thing. She was boohooing and I was like mom's not mad. I said here's what I also need you to do, cause I told her up ahead. I said I need you to tell me the truth. It is so important right now, knowing you're not going to get in trouble, that you, you're not going to have a punishment. What you need is to tell me the truth. She told me the truth. Like here we go, you know, took a minute to get our emotions back in order and gave her a hug, did all the things. And I said how did you feel when you took that dollar? And she said I felt so weird. And I was like where did you feel weird? And she pointed to her stomach and I said good, cause she had recently gotten saved. And I said I'm so happy. And she was like what? And I was like the Lord is talking to you, like you are, you are living this thing out.

46:54
I said the thing about it, we had been talking about walking by the spirit. And she was like what does that mean? She's such, so inquisitive and I'm like I've heard this my whole life and I have absolutely no idea how to tell a five-year-old how to walk by the spirit. Like how do I break this down for you? And I was like I don't really know. So we just kept talking about it and it came out, and in this moment she's holding her dollar that she stole. And I said, annabeth, the beauty of walking with the Spirit is that it's two parts. And she was like what do you mean? And I said you listened, you didn't obey, you heard the Holy Spirit. That was that weird feeling. You didn't obey, that weird feeling. You went ahead and did it. I said I'm walking by the spirit is to, it's listening and it's obedience. And right then I was like man, that was a good word, Lord Like thank you for that you just did that for me.

47:49
You know like I I needed to hear what walking by the spirit was, but it was just this whole entire process of figuring out. You know how do I handle this, jesus. I don't always get it right. Some of my parenting days are really bad, really, really bad. But it's just this thing of like Lord. If I am learning to obey you immediately, how do I teach my child without having that dictator?

48:16
or authoritarian situation where it's, it's taken so negatively now in 2023, but how do I impart to her that obedience is so important? One of the most important things, um, in immediate, you know, not a slow obedience, but right now. So that's the hardest part of obedience is doing it and then also teaching it. But I do think that that is the that's the unpopular opinion of the day of obedience is not harped on enough and we more than often want to go with what we feel rather than what we should, and we think we can justify it. But sometimes the Lord says because I said so and that has to be enough.

49:03 - Speaker 3
I would add. I think that's just a byproduct of listening to the wrong people and then getting hurt, because another thing I'm learning a lot is relationships really just comes down to trust. So when you can create a safe space and foster trust and one thing I think I think it will happen, but I think see it more and more happening slowly is I think we need to eliminate the concept of shame, like, oh, absolutely, we turn guilt into shame and then we punish when we're supposed to take the guilt and say, hey, feeling bad is a good thing because you want to feel bad conviction, yeah, yeah, but then if you?

49:42
take it to the lord. He takes your guilt and all your mistakes and gives you back a new heart and a new conscience and forgiveness and he will work it out, like there are so many times. Like you said, I have many, many bad moments, public bad moments, and you know, for a long time I was like really like heartbroken about it, because a lot of it is like I couldn't help it. It was who I was in the moment, right, yes, I see so much good that God is doing out of it, that I've learned and people have moved on, and like flourished, that I was like man even in my most worst moments.

50:20
If I can just lay it down before the Lord and say, I'm sorry, use it, use his waste, because he makes something out of nothing, so he'll take the bad and make it good and so, yeah, so I love what you do. That's his nature, yeah.

50:34 - Speaker 1
That's his nature, I mean, and that's again if, if the six year old, if your children, if my children, if the children that we're imparting to and helping in any way, if they start seeing this, we do have a new move in the ministry world, in the church world, that it shifts, because kids are not just getting talked to, they're getting talked with, um, and so they can ask the questions. They can be vulnerable, they can steal a dollar and it not, so they can ask the questions. They can be vulnerable, they can steal a dollar and it not be the end of the world.

51:03
You know it's not that tragic. Now we had a consequence. She ended up having to write a letter and having to tell her friend that she stole the dollar. And we even got to the point in this process, like she said what if my friend doesn't want to be in my friend anymore? And I said what if my friend doesn't want to be in?

51:20 - Speaker 3
my friend anymore.

51:21 - Speaker 1
And I said I know like what if? And then we have to have this hard conversation of our actions have consequences and it stinks but sometimes we can't pick that Like your friend gets to decide if she wants to be your friend. I mean again, experience and wisdom comes that this five-year-old is not going to be that problematic about the friendship I think we'll be experience and wisdom comes that this five-year-old is not going to be that problematic about the friendship.

51:42
I think we'll be fine and they're just as great as ever. You know no big deal, but it was just that whole idea that she's having to grapple with. What if my decision has now impacted me in a really negative way and I'm like this is so hard to teach you because I want to fix it? You know, my my natural inclination is, I'll step in text the mom.

52:07
It's okay, don't do it again, but I have this real opportunity to go. You're asking good questions. Therefore, I'm going to give you some truth. I'm going to be honest with you that she might not be your friend, but all is well in the five-year-old and six-year-old world and they are still friends. But it was a process to go through and there was a lot of things we hit of how to grow and all the character building and all the things. So for stealing $1, it turned out that it was not worth it in the end to steal that $1. And we learned that and any other way that I could have approached that might not have gotten that home and might not have hit all the different things.

52:52
But I think that's again, as you said, like there's so many options that I could have done this completely differently. But when we are walking with the Lord, he can take all of our things that we go. That wasn't good and he can take them and make them better. He can restore them and redeem them, because that's who he is. I think that takes the pressure off, that takes the shame out of the equation when we say I have a God who, even in the midst of really, really bad decisions. He still sees me for who I am and not what I've done. He still sees me for the heart that I have and not this thing that you know I was totally slipped up or did something I shouldn't have done so, and that's gotta be a message of hope. But I don't know that enough people know this message of hope. That shame doesn't have to be a part of your story. It can be that God has completely redeemed and set you free from all the things that have happened.

53:52 - Speaker 3
And that's why grace is such a bonkers thing. Because, like, when you get grace, like it makes you want to obey more of like, wait what, oh what? Because, yes, you're no longer afraid to fail, but you don't want to do the bad things, so you're failing at the good things and you're like, oh, it's okay, you're empowered, yeah yeah, it's exactly right.

54:14 - Speaker 1
You're empowered to do the things that you're supposed to do, absolutely. But again, we have taken grace and we've even murkied that water with how to like grace is not doing the things you've kept doing and then asking for forgiveness. Grace, is you understanding that God sent his son to take that stuff that you're doing so that you don't have to keep living this way? Like you are empowered to not live in this constant, perpetual state of sin that you're in? Like you can be redeemed, you can be saved, you can be set free.

54:51
And grace is the concept that I think most people, when they get it it's, I mean, it changes their world. But that, like what you were talking about, like to go, like, wait, what I like, are you sure? Are you sure that's right? You know and it is, and so kind of even hopping from one side of it to the other, when, when you have that revelation of what grace really is in your life, it can really change the course of your life. But that's the that's the tricky part is knowing, like, what is going to empower me to stop doing, or convicting me of to say, hey, you're better than this, and encouraging me to do differently by that, and where does the grace show up in that? So I think it's very, very important as well.

55:36 - Speaker 3
Man, this was great. This was awesome. We're almost at an hour, one hour in. You have amazing stories. We'll definitely have you back on.

55:46 - Speaker 1
Thank you, that would be awesome, and that's what I said. I love this kind of stuff. Like just sharing hearts and the authenticity and just yeah, this is the vein. I love this so much, Love what y'all are doing.

55:59 - Speaker 3
I have two questions. One is what is your hope for Faithly and being on Faithly? What are the people you're looking for or trying to attract?

56:09 - Speaker 1
Great question. I truly think that when I heard about Faithly and my initial thoughts were this is going to be so good for people who need to find a job, but need to find more than a job, you know, like when people are looking for a connection or a network or someone, that they're moving somewhere or they just have a desire to get into the ministry, of course Faithfully is the practical tool. I think that faithfully has the groundwork laid and I think that y'all have the opportunity to be a network to people who don't know that they need other people. I think that in this state of where we are, specifically in the church I'm only talking about the church, this competition and my church is bigger than your church or we do things better, or we have events, or we have this or whatever. Yuck, just yuck, and I hate it so much, and there's just this space in the world that we're in to go. This is not a heaven and hell issue. This is not a saved not saved issue. This is a matter of opinion. And who's to say that we've gotten it all right anyway? I'm sure at the end of this I'm going to say I wasn't right, but I'm trying and aspiring to get into that place where I know what God's telling me?

57:48
And why not ask the children's pastor at the next church over hey, do you have anything for Advent? Hey, do you have anything that you do in February? Like, what are your resources that you use for a Wednesday night? Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I engage that to say we're on the same team? And here's the thing Even in children's ministry alone, I didn't go and recruit these kids.

58:13
These kids came because their ride comes to church here and they can't be left alone at home. Like I am not asking for us to go out and be like we have to do the biggest and baddest and the coolest and all this stuff. I just have my kids because that's what the parents go to church. But I know that they're here for a reason and the kids next door they're their friends. You know the church down the street. They have people that are connected to this person. So why are we in competition? Like, why, what are we doing? And I just think it's so necessary for even more just than just the small, intimate group of like my hometown, we have X, many amount of churches. We'll all be in a faithly small group, but even saying like we're in Arkansas y'all are in.

58:55
Oklahoma, you're in Texas, we're doing the same thing, but we're clearly not ministering to the same kids. You have yours, we have ours, but this is a forum that can help us to say this is what we're doing and I say, oh my gosh, I love that, let me take that. Or this is what we've just got done doing, and here's how I changed it. Now we're all actually in this together and we don't have to think like, oh well, they did that cool thing and I'll never be able to do that. No, you do that cool thing and it's okay and that kid probably needs it. So I just think that on the practical side, it's very practical, but on the longevity side, I think it's going to connect people that didn't know that they were allowed to be connected, because our world has taught us that each for his own and ministry is lonely sometimes, and so having people to just connect, to talk about it, open up dialogue, it's so necessary right now last question is how can we be praying for you and your family?

01:00:01
Oh well, as you've heard in this last hour, as we catapulted off the deep end, I think just what we've even transitioned to in our prayers has been if any of us need wisdom, let us ask. And that's what we need likeernment to know what is good, because I don't want to just do a good thing, I want to do the God thing I want to do the thing that God's asking us to do, even if it doesn't make sense and just erring on the side of prudence and common sense.

01:00:34
But ultimately, lord, if you are in the midst of this, we need wisdom to know. What does this actually look like? What are you seeing? So essentially just for our home, that we would have that wisdom and know where we're going and how we're doing that. And at our church we are in some stages of growth that we haven't seen, and it's been incredible. But there's lots of people coming into the church that have either never been churched or haven't been churched for a really long time, people that have been in it for years and years and years and like just this melting pot of all of this heart and excitement and slow growth is good. We want slow growth because, that helps us.

01:01:24
But just to know, like, okay, what do we do, what's what's next for us? Like, how do we take what we've got? I'll take these people and pour into them. The things that you want is that it's more than just a show, that's more than just a Sunday morning experience, but it's just their daily life.

01:01:41
You know, it's just the thing that they always do. So, both home and church. There's lots of growing going on, and sometimes growing pains are painful. So just that we would have grace and wisdom, and just that discernment from the Lord to know when is it Him, when do we need to stop, when do we need to go.

01:02:02 - Speaker 3
Well, it's been great talking to you and, yeah, connect with me on Faithly. I don't think we're connected because I don't know who you are.

01:02:08 - Speaker 1
I don't think we are that's terrible. Thank you for having me on your podcast and we are not connected, but we'll do that now. I'll absolutely do that now, but we'll do that now.

01:02:17 - Speaker 3
I'll absolutely do that now Okay.

01:02:18 - Speaker 1
Thank you so much.

01:02:20 - Speaker 3
That's it for the podcast.

01:02:21 - Speaker 2
Perfect. Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly Digital Platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly Podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.

Jessica Jernigan
https://faithly.co/profiles/jessicajernigan

Abound Publishing Website
https://www.aboundbooks.com