A Military Family's Hope of Heaven - Catherine Hauschild

00:01 - Speaker 1
My husband was deployed to a combat zone and the very real threat of life and death. So and we lost soldiers during that deployment, we lost some good friends during that deployment. And I will tell you, I knew that. I knew, while I would never want that to happen, I knew that God would take care of us, no matter what, and I knew where Bill was going to be if that. That happened. It was a very real thing in our family. You know, even though my kids were quite young at the time, we had conversations about that and the security that we had in God, despite any circumstances that might come our way. My name is Catherine Hauschild and I currently am the Midwest Network Manager for the MomCo, formerly Mops International, and I am a Jesus follower. I am wife to my high school sweetheart, mom of four, entrepreneur, lover of monograms and the beach and look forward pretty much to every day when I wake up and this is my Faithfully story moments of encouragement and answered prayers.

01:22 - Speaker 2
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01:45 - Speaker 3
So my first question I ask everybody is could you tell me the genesis of your faith story?

01:50 - Speaker 1
Genesis of my faith story. So I grew up in a family that we attended church, definitely knew who God and Jesus were and have all those memories of Sunday school, all the good things, youth group, being baptized in sixth grade and confirmation class. But when it really became very personal and powerful in my life, we were actually I was married and we were living in Germany at the time and I was invited to a women's Bible study. That happened on the base that we were stationed at and it was a weekly Bible study. It was called Protestant Women of the Chapel. It is all over military installations worldwide, at least for the army I'm not sure about the other services, but I think so and that's really where it was.

02:42
The gospel was presented to me in such a way that it was wow, this is super personal, like this is me and Jesus. You know, god came. He came for the whole world, but then it was just brought down onto that very personal level for me and just was convicted of sin. That was in my life and, yeah, just that personal relationship that he came to save me from that sin. You know that he's a God of second chances, so and it just really developed from there I. That was an anchor for me, that weekly group. Then my husband and I we'd always attended church together.

03:17 - Speaker 3
What about that message during that period of time that just really connected with you? What was going on in your life?

03:30 - Speaker 1
I think it was. I was now, you know, I was a stay-at-home mom. We lived in Germany. There weren't many opportunities for work and that was really like that group of women became like my thing. It's the people I hung out with, got to talk with them other days of the week about what we were talking about in Bible study, because it is a small community when you live overseas. I was also, you know, seeing them at church on Sundays and it really was just about that conviction of sin as I looked past at my life, that I lived and the way I had treated people, yeah and just, and I think what was also mixed in there.

04:05
My husband was in the army, active duty. At that time he'd already been deployed to Desert Shield, desert Storm, so we'd kind of lived through that before we were actually married, as we were engaged, but then there were constant deployments when we were overseas and so the very realness of life and death and eternity, and what did that look like and what did that mean this side of heaven and what does it mean the other side of heaven, and that was a reality that I lived with every day of my life for 21 years. So I think it was kind of that combination of that, that it was a very personal thing and that, as you accept that, like you know, the confession of sin and the realness of that and my eyes being open to what that looked like in my own life, and then definitely the question of eternal salvation where am I going to spend eternity? Where are all these people that I love and I do life with going to spend eternity? And it, yeah, becomes very personal. How?

05:05
old were you then I was in my late twenties. So my oldest was born when I was 26. And then we had our older two boys over in Germany, about two, not even quite two years apart, and then we moved back stateside and the other two, our other two kids, came along and the other two.

05:25 - Speaker 3
Our other two kids came along, so yeah, so they grew up in Germany.

05:34 - Speaker 1
They did not. We left. We were in Germany for four years, so our oldest was almost three at the time that we left and the second was almost one when we left. And then I really, you know, as you look back you can see so much like God was really preparing me for what laid ahead. Because when our fourth child came along, we were moving. We moved about six weeks before he was born, and or maybe we moved about eight weeks before he was born and my husband deployed two weeks after we moved. So we're in a new location. You know, you never have really, I mean, you're lucky if you have family around when you're military. And so six weeks later Campbell was born and Bill was over in Afghanistan and so my parents and my sister came to be. My parents watched the kids while my sister was got to be in the delivery room with me. Bill did get to be on the phone, so that was good. But he did not meet Campbell until Campbell was nine months old. And you know I can remember even getting through that deployment. Their deployment was extended. It was only supposed to be six months and it got. It got extended three more months.

06:36
When it was all over and Bill was home, somebody said like how did you? How in the world did you do four kids, eight and under, by yourself, with no family around, because my parents didn't stay the whole time? My parents were in the middle of a move. They stayed for a few weeks and had to leave. And I was like, yeah, by the grace of God, like every morning I woke up and was like his mercies are new every morning, because not only was it hard you know I was doing all that and I wasn't working but doing four kids by myself.

07:05
My husband was deployed to a combat zone and the very real threat of life and death, and we lost soldiers during that deployment, we lost some good friends during that deployment. And I will tell you, I knew that. I knew, while I would never want that to happen, I knew that God would take care of us no matter what, and I knew where Bill was going to be if that happened. And it was a very reality. It was a very real thing in our family, you know, even though my kids were quite young at the time, we had conversations about that and the security that we had in God, despite any circumstances that might come our way.

07:45 - Speaker 3
Did your kids grow up with the other kids within that group?

07:49 - Speaker 1
for the women in the base yeah, so wherever we moved we got plugged back into that Bible study and they were in child care in that, and then definitely we were the chapel. The military chapel was a big part of our life. There were times that we were also in civilian churches, depending on where we lived. And actually when I just had the older two boys Bill was at grad school we were at IU in Bloomington, indiana, and we were connected with a great church that actually had a mops group and I got plugged in there with the mops group. That was great and fast forward. Now I actually work for the MomCo, which was formerly MOPS International. So it's like to raise a family, or even like what faith life is like on bases. So could you kind of share is it different?

08:49 - Speaker 3
Is it the same? How does the military kind of view that and how different is it from the civilian environment?

08:55 - Speaker 1
Well, I feel like the biggest difference is I mean, none of us our days, all of our days are numbered right. None of us know, but when you have made the commitment to serve in the military, it's a very real part of your life. That it is life or death, I mean, at any moment, depending on your job, and so I can't answer for somebody who doesn't have a faith what that looks like to serve. I feel like we were really blessed in our time in the military that we had leaders who loved the Lord and were not afraid to share that, that were open with it. It was a comfort to know that. You know they were not only just leading our unit, the soldiers and the families from this as a job, as a profession, but also from this place of their heart and what they believed.

09:48
And so, yeah, it was a very, very big part of our military lives and, I would say, of a lot of military people, and maybe it is that element of that life and death. I can only speak for myself, but chapel life was very vibrant, both in Germany and stateside. We have, yeah, very faithful leaders or I can speak for our time, because my husband's been retired for over 10 years. Very faithful leaders some of whom you see on the media even today as military people that they bring in to comment on things who love the Lord, and so I love how God just goes before us in that and puts those people right where they need to be.

10:34 - Speaker 3
So how has the transition into like civilian life with mops from coming from base?

10:39 - Speaker 1
So we actually moved to where we live now in Athens, ohio. So we haven't been on a military base or post since then and I will tell you it was a little bit of a difficult transition because you kind of get you know the military life. So whether you're going from a post internationally to stateside, a lot of the things are the same. The services and military people know you make friendships quickly because you typically have about three years together and everybody's not at the same point in that three years. So, given that I feel like I can make friends pretty easily, however, I do still giggle at some of the interactions in that first year of living here. Most people that come into our community here are associated with the university we were as well.

11:24
My husband was brought in to do the Army ROTC professor of military science position. However, not all university towns love the military and so, as people would ask what brought us into town and I would tell them some of the conversation that happened before that question was asked were not always very positive towards the military and that because at the time we moved here there was a lot going on overseas. And then they would ask you know what brought us here and I'd tell them and their faces, I mean it provided chuckles. I was thankful that instead of getting angry, I could just kind of laugh that they were eating humble pie, because it's easy to say something about a group of people, whoever they might be, when it's them out there, but when you're talking to somebody face to face and there's suddenly a face to the group of people that you just were bashing, it's a different story. So clearly it's fine, we made it work. We're here almost 18 years later.

12:20 - Speaker 3
Yeah, and especially because you guys, like you said, it's life and death and you're defending our freedom. I never understood military life just because it was just not a thing. But more and more, as I get older, I see the sacrifices and the parallels to the Christian life, because when you're out in the fringes you have to be that wall and the soldier and militant right and because of that shield the people on the inside can do whatever they want and be free.

12:47 - Speaker 1
Yeah, and I will say those comments were very few, but when we butted up against them right away. We live in a lovely, lovely community who has supported us through some of our darkest days. Our oldest son passed away almost five years ago, and they rallied like no other, and so God knew what he was doing when he brought us here for us to be a part of a great community, to love and be a part of both the give and the take, that we're able to love those around us, and that we were able to be carried in a time that we needed it as well.

13:22 - Speaker 3
I'm sorry to hear that.

13:23 - Speaker 1
Thank you, yeah, the time that we needed it as well. I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you, yeah, not anything that you ever again invite in or clearly ever plan for as a parent. But again, god has been so gracious in even our darkest days. Just so many stories I could tell you of how he has used that to love other people through some really difficult times, their own losses, to take us on a much deeper journey with him that we would never have known otherwise. And again, that hope of heaven that he planted in our hearts so long ago, I love it. You know I think about heaven a lot and what awaits us there, and, yeah, I think about it a lot. I'm excited about heaven.

14:10 - Speaker 3
Do you mind sharing some stories or what happened with your son?

14:15 - Speaker 1
Yeah, so almost five years ago. The anniversary is coming up in March. Tag passed away on March 4th, which is the only day of the year that gives us a message, and so I love that even in his death, he's speaking to us and telling us to March 4th, which is the only day of the year that gives us a message, and so I love that, even in his death, he's speaking to us and telling us to March 4th. Tag died by suicide, which is there is a lot of shame associated with suicide, but on the flip side of that, I'm so thankful that we, especially because of the pandemic, have entered into so much more open conversation about mental health, because we are not afraid to talk about or ask for prayer when somebody we love has cancer. And mental illness is an illness and there shouldn't be shame around talking about it. We talk pretty openly about that. We from the get-go, even in his obituary. We were very open with it because we don't want there to be any shame surrounded Um. Tag lived an incredible life. He's an incredible human being who had so much to offer and we're so sad that he felt like that was the only way out, Um, and so we want to talk about it. We want to dispel the shame and open conversations to people who are struggling.

15:32
We had a lot of people that reached out to us and said that he lost one struggle on one day. For people that struggle with mental illness, they battle something every day, typically several times a day, and he had been in therapy. He had come to us during college when he was struggling. We pulled him out. We got help. There was support there. He was back in doing all the things that he loved to do. He was a ceramicist, he threw pottery, he was very artistic, played the guitar. We had no idea at the time that he was struggling again. He had gotten himself back into counseling, which we are huge proponents for counseling. They do great things. And so just those reminders that there isn't shame around it, that we weren't alone in it. We had stretcher bears from every part of our community.

16:27
I am a part of 31 Gifts, which is a direct selling business. At the time I was exclusively doing that. I had women that ran my business for me because they knew it supported our family, like so that we could take care of our family. Yeah, just all the different our family, our friends, you know All the different our family, our friends. You know it has opened up conversations with people who are searching for their faith and trying to figure out wrestling with those deeper questions, and it's given us an opportunity to step into those conversations and help people along their own journey.

17:01 - Speaker 3
It's so fascinating, ever since I did the podcast, of how many commonalities there are with everyone I talk to and people struggle so like in 2019, may 5th, I was going to take my life too. It was just a sequence of events that kind of like led up to that thought, but it was just like very emotional and you just have like a lot of things running in your mind and the conclusion is always what's the point? And it's probably better, like I was like completely lost and it's only like this year that I'm like fully, fully, like whole again. And I didn't realize at the time, because afterwards, like you think you're okay, I'm like I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, but you're not, because all the things that led you to that point, those trigger points, are still there and until you process it, it can always come back, and so, yeah, thank you for sharing.

17:51 - Speaker 1
Oh well, thank you for sharing. It takes courage to share and I'm thankful that God stopped you in that moment and that you feel whole again. And it is a process. It's not going to happen overnight.

18:04 - Speaker 3
Yeah, I want to talk about it more, but I don't want to make this podcast about me. But, like, I do think people don't realize everyone is struggling with something you know, and like to get to that point is like the end, but it takes a lot of little steps to get there, you know, and if people were just honest and open about how they're feeling and how they're thinking and create safe spaces, I think we would have a lot less of those situations. I just felt really alone. Yeah, that was my thing.

18:33 - Speaker 1
And I think, too, we also forget what that kind smile or the kind gesture or starting a conversation in a line at a store, like the significance that it can carry.

18:46
I don't think we realize that. And those were some of the things, too, that you know, as we were walking out our grief which, to be honest, I think that's going to last until you know I open my eyes and see Jesus and heaven, and then tag I'm hoping he's the next person you know that they do have such an impact and you know what are the things, what are those small things that maybe could have helped tag or stopped him. I try not to live in that arena of like what could we have done? Because it's not going to serve me well, and from from friends that have reached out and been in your situation, many have said there was nothing, there would be nothing that could stop them if they really wanted to go all the way through with it. And so you know. But really just focusing on what are those things that I can do, how can I bring the kindness and the love of Jesus to those who desperately need it? Yeah, just reminding ourselves of that.

19:41 - Speaker 3
One thing I'm coming to, the realization that helps a lot, is constantly telling people how much they're wanted and loved.

19:48 - Speaker 1
Absolutely. I really, you know, all of our kids have been in counseling. Again, we're huge proponents and one of the things that especially I mean I tell it to all of my kids, I feel like I did this before Tag died, but I am so like a hundred aware of it is that what a gift they are to God, that they are a gift Like they were, like, you know, ephesians, like we are his workmanship and we were created with a purpose and we, you know, living that out is our gift back to God and to not dismiss it, and I 100% agree telling each and every person that we lock eyes with that, how much value and worth they have.

20:33 - Speaker 3
I'm glad you said that, because something this past week, a thought that's been running in my mind, is like the world tells us that our value comes up from our productivity. Right, if you produce something, if you create a result, then and somehow tied to money, right, then you're valuable. But I realized I don't have to do a thing and that God loves me and I just need to be me, because he created me to be myself. I'm predictable in God's eyes. Like Danny, I made you to be you, just be you, and when people enjoy you, then that uniqueness they attribute it to God and that's like me living on faith. So I've been trying to shed like, oh, I'm not doing enough and, like you said, you're like thinking about heaven a lot. Now I thought I was crazy. I'm so glad I met you, because I've been telling people like I can't be the only one that realizes every single day is just today.

21:28 - Speaker 1
just today, you know we're going to spend so much more time on the other side of heaven, like, or on the other side in heaven and um, I am a three on the Enneagram, so I am all about the to-do list, all about the product, like the achiever. It's the achiever and um. I've worked in sales pretty much my whole professional career. I'm now at the MomCo and helping to establish new ministries and you know there's very much production is a part of my job, right, and I have to constantly remind myself too and pray about. But it's really about the mission and vision of what we're doing for the kingdom and where are the moms that need to know Jesus and where can we have the most impact? And that is what I have to remind myself because that's going to be what I'm going to feel in eternity. It's not the number of groups, it's not about any number, it's not about how much money I had, and I actually, after Tag passed our family, got tattoos.

22:30
So this TH is the stamp that he put in his ceramics. So every ceramicist stamps their creations, and so that's a reminder of Tag and also helps to start conversations about him, because I want to talk about him. And then my other part of that is the line and the dot, and a very good friend of my husband's through Crew Ministry, which is the campus ministry my husband's. A part of Roger Hershey talks about living for the line and not the dot. And the dot is the here and now, it's today and not the dot. And the dot is the here and now. It's today and the line is eternity. And I wanted that constant reminder that we're living for the line and not the dot, because we can get so caught up in the day to day and what's that thing that just got dropped in my face that feels like the fire I need to put out and, yeah, we need that reminder all the time.

23:23 - Speaker 3
So a word that the Lord kind of gave me this week was Danny, I loved you and then created you. I didn't create you and then I loved you and I was like, oh, that makes so much sense.

23:34 - Speaker 1
I love that word that you got, that I loved and then I created you. That, yeah, I feel like that's really big.

23:43 - Speaker 3
Because we talk a lot about unconditional love but I don't think we truly understand what that means, like you don't do anything and he first loves you.

23:53 - Speaker 1
Yeah because even you know, this side of heaven it's hard to really grasp unconditional love. I think the love of a parent for a child is the closest that will ever come. And even in that right, our kids. I mean I'll speak. I love my kids dearly but you know there are times that they disappoint me or make me sad and that, but that unconditional love is still there.

24:16
You know, when you come from a very strict background, I felt I was very judgmental, and a part of that when I, you know my late twenties, when I came to what I call my true faith in Jesus, that really was like I had been super judgmental of people and not treated them nicely and that's not okay. And I was so freed up by the fact that I my our call is to love people. Nowhere in scripture does it tell us to judge. He is the judge. There's so much freedom in that and that I'm not here to judge. I'm here to love you. The judgment's between you and Jesus, and I have no part in that, and there's so much freedom in that I think.

24:58 - Speaker 3
where people get caught up is that word judge. I think we use a general word and not put it in the right context, because the bible does say like you need to see if this tree is bearing fruit, right?

25:11 - Speaker 1
for sure. Yeah, because it's more like an assessment.

25:13 - Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah, yeah like, because if they're an evil person, they're gonna hurt you and your family, right?

25:20 - Speaker 1
true yeah.

25:21 - Speaker 3
So we just want to see in grace and give them time and space, be like, hey, I'm not sure about you, so like we're going to create this boundary, but it doesn't mean I want you to go away or like I'm condemning you. It's just like I'm I'm trying to protect the people I love Like I can handle it, but like they can't. So there's this assessment we need to do in wisdom of who we let into the house and absolutely but, like, like, oh, you're gonna hell you're gonna have I don't know like.

25:51
I'm not there yet, so there's hope exactly yeah, yeah, yeah yeah man. This was such a great conference, so okay. So how did you get involved with manco and, based on all your experiences, like, how has that helped you connect with people in the group?

26:05 - Speaker 1
So I, as I mentioned earlier, I was a part of somebody who went to a mops group when my older kids were younger. Over a year ago, a girlfriend of mine, a good friend of mine from 31, who I knew from 31, was working for the mom co at the time and we talked you know, check in text whatever Probably once a month. We chatted on the time and we talked you know, check in text, whatever Probably once a month. We chatted on the phone and she called me and she was like Catherine, we like we have a position open and I think you would be great at it. What do you think about talking to my boss? And I was like, okay, you know, I was open towards it. So that kind of started the conversations and the ball rolling.

26:45
It did take about another four or five months before I actually started working. And yeah, and I really did, I felt like, you know, I'm in my mid, almost mid fifties, um, we're empty nesters. And I was like I was also feeling like I God wanted me to do something else. So I'm still doing 31. I love it. Um, I didn't want to walk away from it, but I just felt like he was calling me to something more and so I was really praying about it, like I wasn't sure if it was volunteer work here in our local community I reached out to a few people locally and had set up some conversations or if it was actually going back to, like, take another job. I was thinking more part-time. I'm actually full-time, so some of the things you know. I didn't necessarily want to work full-time, but I really wanted it to be something that was going to have eternal impact and I had really prayed about that and so this really lined up.

27:39
I really also feel I have so much of a heart for women. I've been able to work with some incredible women in 31. So that's been impactful. I've helped to lead women's ministries at my church before you know it's been women, and so what a better like mission and vision than working with the MomCo to help start groups at local churches that are outreaches to moms in the community to build connection. Last year the mom co-partnered with the Barna Group and did a study on the state of motherhood and the number one thing that you know big thing that floated to the top was that whether it was moms in the church or outside of the church, they were desperate for connection and were built for it. God built us for community, and so, um, yeah, I, I've been there over nine months now and um, really loving what I'm doing, loving the team that I'm working with. We are, our staff is maybe about 40 people, and we are an international nonprofit, and so we're small but mighty and and doing mighty work.

28:43 - Speaker 3
Yeah, I met the two other Mops ladies and you guys are amazing. Oh thanks, if you ever come to New York, dinner's on me, we're going to have a.

28:50 - Speaker 1
Mops meeting yeah.

28:51 - Speaker 3
Yeah, so what are you working on with Mops now that you want to share?

28:55 - Speaker 1
So actually I'm not sure when this will be posted, but we are doing quarterly webinars. We're working on getting a graphic put together to post on Faithfully to let people know about it. So we've got a webinar coming up just sharing about what does it look like to start a group? A lot of people haven't heard of us. We've been around for 50 years, so kind of hard to believe. But you know they're not quite sure. Like, what does that look like? And if they work for the church, like, oh, is that just another thing for me to do? No, it's not.

29:34
Like we do all the heavy lifting, we provide content and support and training. So we're working on like new and innovative ways to kind of get the word out about the MomCo. We are looking for conferences where there are women's ministry and kids ministry leaders that we can connect with. We serve different regions of the United States, so there's the Northeast, Southeast, Midwest, the South, the Pacific, Northeast and then the mountain region, and so we've got it all covered. Yeah, so we are just trying to connect with people and churches and help love moms in their community.

30:03 - Speaker 3
Let's talk about, like starting a group with Momco. Could you just elaborate a little bit what that entails so that people hearing it it's like, oh, actually, that's really simple.

30:12 - Speaker 1
Okay, starting a MomCo meetup at your church would look like reaching out to us and saying you have an interest.

30:21
We then connect you with the person who is in charge of your region or your network. Then connect you with the person who is in charge of your region or your network. And really I always tell people you need three big things to start a mom co-meetup. One is a place to hold the meeting. It's typically a church, but not always Two women who are willing to be the coordinators or the leaders of that group. Don't worry, we train you. It's a lot of plug and play but there is training. And the third thing is a plan for child care, if you do decide to offer child care, and that is not dictated by us what that looks like, but by the church or the place where it's held. And then there's, you know, other details, but that's kind of like the highlight of really just a willingness to love the women in your community, to help be a part of making that happen and, yeah, to probably step outside your comfort zone a little bit.

31:10 - Speaker 3
And what are the purposes for these groups primarily?

31:14 - Speaker 1
So the MomCo is an outreach ministry designed to partner with the local church to reach moms in your community that might never walk through the door of your church on a Wednesday or Sunday, for a lot of different reasons, right. But when her mom friend, either in drop-off at school or on the soccer field, reaches out and says, hey, I'd love for you to join me at this mom group. There's free food, free childcare and connection. Would you like to come? She is excited and what that does is it connects her with the local church and then, ultimately, jesus. Because this is what we know, even the secular world knows this the mom makes 80 percent of the decisions in her home, whether that's the groceries she's buying, right, right, the clothes that she and her family are wearing, or where they attend church. So there's power in connecting to that mom in your community and connecting her with your church.

32:16 - Speaker 3
I have a lot of mom friends because I did children's ministry like half my ministry, five years yeah, so I know the power of tapping into that.

32:26 - Speaker 1
Right, and we know too. We partnered with the Barna Group last year to do a study on the state of motherhood and the number one thing that came up was that moms are desperate for a connection. So we provide that, we help facilitate it.

32:43 - Speaker 3
So what is your long-term hope for MomCo?

32:46 - Speaker 1
My long-term hope is to be well. Our mission as a company is to be in every church, and while that seems like a very lofty, big goal, you know we dream big and we wake up every day and just reach out and connect with those people who do have those willing hearts and just a heart for the women in their community and to be connected to the community. Right, that should be the purpose of the church is to have an impact on the community in which they live, and we help you do that. Yeah, so to love every mom we want to see every mom come to a meaningful relationship with Jesus. I love that. That should be your tagline. To love every mom we want to see every mom come to a meaningful relationship with Jesus.

33:27 - Speaker 3
I love that. That should be your tagline to love every mom.

33:30 - Speaker 1
Yeah, to love every mom.

33:31 - Speaker 3
And the church is to love every sinner, you know.

33:34 - Speaker 1
Yeah, absolutely.

33:35 - Speaker 3
That's so good. On a lighter note, you said you married your high school sweetheart. I did.

33:41 - Speaker 1
I did. His name is Bill.

33:42 - Speaker 3
How'd you guys meet?

33:43 - Speaker 1
We sat next to each other in analytical geometry his senior year and my junior year. So we also had PE class together, which I will tell you. I did not impress him with my athletic skills, but yeah and we have. So that was 19. And we got married five years later, after I graduated from college, and he'd been out for a year and was back from the desert.

34:06 - Speaker 3
So yeah, Was he always going to go into military?

34:10 - Speaker 1
He actually attended West Point, so he knowingly went into college, knowing that he would be serving after he graduated.

34:18 - Speaker 3
And did you know what you were getting into? Marrying a military man?

34:23 - Speaker 1
Probably not, although I do say I think God knew right. God always knows. Growing up, my dad was in the lighting industry, an executive in the lighting industry, and we moved all the time. I had not lived anywhere longer than four years until we moved to Athens in my entire life, and so I said he was prepping me right to know what it felt like to have to make new friends and pick up and move and make new friends and live in different parts of the country. And so we loved our time in the military. We made some absolutely forever friends in the military and God used it in such a mighty way.

35:02
Isn't it fascinating that, like, everything that happens is kind of like preparation to the next thing and it's like oh, I kind of see it like looking backwards in life, it's like Yep, and I feel like the older I get, knowing that like that I can, I can look back on so many things that he lined up that it helps me as I move forward that even though we don't know right, god knows and I can trust him because he's been so faithful, so faithful Again, even in the very darkest days of our lives, so faithful.

35:36 - Speaker 3
You know, a new thought I'm having now is that, like I don't know and I don't want to know, Amen, yeah, we don't want to know. A lot of times when you know it just leads to more questions, and especially when you're in a deep, dark rabbit hole. We're like wait a minute, do I want to go down this logic train? No, thank you.

35:56 - Speaker 1
No, and you know what? It's funny because, well, not funny, but right now my pastor is preaching a sermon series and last week he was talking about how so often we grow up and I kind of mentioned it. I felt like I grew up very much in the black and the white right, the sinner and the saved and this, you know, delineation. And as I've grown and my faith has grown and God has allowed me to go deeper with him, we really live in the gray and that's what my pastor was talking about last week. He's like most of life is lived in the great, in the mystery. Right, we're not meant to know, we're not meant to know all of it, we couldn't handle it, and that's why his mercies are new every day and that's why, like, we have to just embrace the mystery, because that's really where life is lived.

36:47 - Speaker 3
We don't always feel comfortable there, but Did your children ever mention their experience living on a base?

36:56 - Speaker 1
I mean, I guess it was just such a way of life. Personality comes into play so often. I have this vivid memory of moving to Fort Drum, where my youngest was born, when my husband was deployed and we lived on a street not just our neighborhood, but our street had 65 kids. So we're a prolific bunch in the military. But moving in and you know my oldest, tag at the time, you know more reserved, quiet, and then Walker, our second son, he was like hey, let's go find our friends and he was like ready to go, you know, and like he knew, there were kids out there where TAG was more waiting for somebody to come knock on the door because we were the new people on the block. But they have stayed in touch with their military friends. We are still in touch. It's been fun to see them all grow up right through the years. They're all now young adults and adulting, and so I think those are gifts too. We have just such strong bonds there with those people, because that's a really unique set of people, like when you everybody doesn't get to make friendships like that, where you are holding each other up through a lot of difficult things, that neighborhood of women I think there was one guy on our street and it's probably a little bit over-exaggerated, maybe there were two or three when the year Campbell was born, I did not need a baby shower.

38:22
It was my fourth kid, my third boy. I had all the things but everybody needed to be together. So they were like, catherine, let's just please, we need to have a baby shower. Like you might not need this stuff. So I was like, okay, I don't need this stuff, but you know what I do need Because I'm a mom with four kids and no help, I need dinner. And Campbell was born in early September. I had dinner through Christmas like mind blowing for me. But again everybody just pitched in Like that was your family and that was just the norm. That's what we did for each other. So there is that unique bond between military kids and even if you meet somebody that you didn't know growing up, they can understand and you find out like, oh yeah, you were a military kid too. There is this understanding what you have lived through.

39:11 - Speaker 3
Aren't human beings so fascinating and yet so simple? You just need one thing to rally around, rally around, yeah, and then yeah, you just treat each other like family, and family is we'll fight and we'll bicker.

39:26 - Speaker 2
Oh yeah, Get real messy, but we'll always be there for each other, yeah because that's always been my heart.

39:29 - Speaker 3
We'll bicker, oh yeah. Get real messy but like we'll always be there for each other. Oh, yeah, yeah, because that's always been my heart. Because when I grew up like I grew up in the church. Ever since I was like little, I just remember being in church all the time, and so church was my second home, right. And then when you grow up like you're like wait, why isn't it like that everywhere with every church? And I realized, oh, I had something really special.

39:54 - Speaker 1
Growing up, you know where we were really family, yeah, and I will tell you, at our son's celebration of life, I was blown away. It was like this foretaste of heaven because we had people show up Like. It still brings me to tears because you know there's so much going through your mind that day of what's going to happen and I had no expectation for who was going to show up, because it wasn't about who was going to show up. I was, you know, honoring my son's life. But the people that showed up, from all different walks of our life and like military families that we had not seen, I'm telling you at that time, in probably 10 or 15 years, that showed up to Athens, ohio, that like, yeah, very powerful.

40:33 - Speaker 3
What would you say to people that know someone going through a loss of a child that took their life or a family member that's grieving and they don't know how to reconcile that?

40:44 - Speaker 1
To somebody who has lost a child I would say, um, reach out and even if you don't know what to say, just say I don't have the words, but I want you to know I care about you and I'm here to listen, um, and, and the other thing is like, say their kid's name, it is such a gift to hear my kid's name, um, and for people to reach out and say, like I have a friend that will. Every time she hears this one song that was played at his celebration of life, she messages me and that's such a gift to me. One thing that we did at his celebration of life. That is still, almost five years later, people are doing this, which is just like blows my mind. Our pastor had them take out their phones and put a reminder in their phones for their birthday to write us a note. Like, take out pen and paper not a text message, not like anything digital, and put it in the mail, but write a note with a memory or a story about TAG and then to mail it and then, and you know, and that, because then we were getting things all all year through and the thing that just very powerful still is that, like just over after the holidays we got a note from one of his friends so a young adult, which you know they're not much for pen and paper, I don't think they're pretty digital. To get that note from her almost five years later with her favorite memories, that made me giggle and that just gave like such a gift that there are other people I think about him every day, but that there are other people that also still really think about him that he impacted their lives.

42:30
And so you know, I can still remember, right after he passed, we have a wonderful summer community that we I've been a part of my whole life. My dad's family has been there for generations and they have loved us so well. But I can still remember getting there, you know, for the first time after he passed and some people were just would run up and hug us and like just, you know, say so sorry and we love you. And then I know how hard it can be. There were some that they just couldn't come up and that was. It was painful and I also understand that some people it's just awkward, they don't know what to do. But I would just really encourage people to push past the awkwardness and your uncomfortableness and just if all you can do is hug somebody, do it. We're desperate for that connection and to hear our kids' names, so I don't remember the other question, danny, or if I even answered it right.

43:28 - Speaker 3
No, that was perfect. I'm realizing more and more that there's something powerful in saying out words out loud. I used to think, oh, just meditate and think it's like no, I actually need it for myself to hear my own words and like you're saying, like saying someone's name, like there's like something powerful in a name where God names, things like light right and Adam right, because it gives it an identity and that's so beautiful that when you say the name, you're thinking about the whole of his life, not just like you know, like that one moment.

44:00 - Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah.

44:01 - Speaker 3
You know. And then so here's another crazy thing I realized like the Bible actually tells us who's exactly going to heaven and it says whoever's written in the book of life. And the way I understand that is why do we write stuff in books? Because we want to pass it on throughout the history, we want people to remember and because God remembers you and remembers your name. That's why you come in, and whoever's not on that guest list doesn't come in. And so I feel like your pastor was like right on, like we need to keep remembering who he is because God remembers him. And when we start to forget people, that like breaks my heart because it's like man, like what did they have to do to be forgotten? You know, and lost, they held us based in this world.

44:51 - Speaker 1
And yeah, there's meaning in that, and I also love the verse where it says he who began a good work in you will continue it until the day of Christ Jesus. And somebody pointed out to me that it doesn't say until the day you die. It says until he comes again, until the day of Christ Jesus, which means each of us who loves Jesus will continue to have an impact even beyond our physical days here on this earth. And I know where Tag is. He's in heaven. He struggled here. I feel his life ended way too soon, but he is still having an impact because I still get to talk about him and I'm hoping that through opening up conversations about mental health and taking away the stigma and the shame of suicide, that it does help other people who struggle. And so, yeah, we want to keep talking about Tad.

45:49 - Speaker 3
I have like these lighthearted questions. I want to ask you.

45:53 - Speaker 1
Sure Such a.

45:56 - Speaker 3
No, I need to like process one minute because this has been such like a heart. I don't know Like it's been really refreshing to meet all the mouse moms because you guys have been through so much. It's been really refreshing to meet all the mouse moms because you guys have been through so much. But like I feel like I understand because I also went through stuff these past few years and something I'm realizing more and more is I don't know who told the lie that suffering is evil, like it's bad, but it's not evil, it's good right yeah like, what's bad is when we are oppressed and then suffered.

46:29
So so the oppression is evil, but even then the suffering is good, and we know this because Christ suffered yeah.

46:36 - Speaker 1
And he meets us in the suffering. And while again, I would never ask to be invited into what I've had to walk through God, has met us there and like in those deepest, darkest moments, and I would never know him the way I do if not for that. So while I don't want to celebrate it, I embrace it.

46:54 - Speaker 3
Yeah, for me God knew exactly what it would take to go to my deepest fears so that he showed me see, in your deepest fear you have nothing to fear.

47:04 - Speaker 1
I'm like I know, yeah, I'm still here. I know I don't know Whatever Right, but God, but God.

47:10 - Speaker 3
But it's like one of those things like you really don't know until you experience it, and it's like you don't want people to experience it, but like you kind of have to. So it's just like double-edged sword of like I don't know man, you just got to ask the Lord what you can handle.

47:25 - Speaker 1
And it's so individual right.

47:33 - Speaker 3
Because somebody else who loses a child, while it's a similar loss. Everything is so individual.

47:37 - Speaker 1
Yeah, I think one detriment we've done is try to relieve suffering too quickly or even just put it in a category, when everyone is so different and their life experiences and their relationships are different and everything's different, so we really need to parse out like a very like bespoke um care for people suffering yeah, and we need to just walk with them through it, not try to rush them through it, not try to share a verse or shorten it, but just, you know, be the stretcher bearers and really walk alongside them. Yeah.

48:12 - Speaker 3
What are you hoping for at Faithly?

48:14 - Speaker 1
I am just hoping for a really great place to meet like-minded people in their faith, who you know. Our goals are the same right To love people into the kingdom and to be able to collaborate, to offer like, to be able to collaborate with each other, with what we bring to the table. So, whether that's a church that's looking for a way to reach out to moms in the community, or I'm involved in some evangelism spaces just in like, what does it look like to be evangelistic and more outward, loving and looking, I'm excited about it. I'm excited for this space where people of faith can come together and collaborate and connect. God has wired me in such a way for connection that it's a part of who I am, so I love spaces like this where I can connect with new people.

49:06 - Speaker 3
Yeah, me too. And how can we be praying for you and your husband and your family?

49:14 - Speaker 1
Right now I feel like we are in the middle, I think is what people call it. So we have aging parents. My mother-in-law just passed away in December, so we're walking through that, but then our other three parents are all facing their own pretty big health issues right now and so and we're still parenting our young adult kids and wanting to be present for all of that too, and then our own lives working full time, and then we both my husband's in ministry as well. So lots going on right. I guess just the overarching would be that we would love our people very well, that we would love our people well.

50:01 - Speaker 3
Amen. Well, thank you for coming on the podcast. This was amazing, thank you for the invitation.

50:07 - Speaker 1
This has been super fun. This is a highlight of my week you heard it.

50:14 - Speaker 3
That's it for the podcast, guys. Bye.

50:19 - Speaker 2
Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly Podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.