Faith and Family - Jordan Durso

00:00 - Speaker 1 Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast. 00:42 - Speaker 2 Hi, my name is Pastor Adam Durso and I am a senior advisor with Faithly and I'm going to be part of some upcoming podcasts as part of the Faithly platform and I'm excited to be here live from Pastors Prayer Summit the 35th year of pastors getting away to pray together and my guest today is a very special guest. He's my brother, jordan Jordan Durso. Welcome to the Faithly Podcast. 01:07 - Speaker 3 Hey, bud Brother, thank you for having me, you're absolutely welcome. 01:10 - Speaker 2 Man. Why don't you give the audience a little bit of background as to what you're doing right now and where you're serving the kingdom? 01:17 - Speaker 3 I am serving the kingdom by pastoring at Saints Church, which is our dad's and mom's church that they founded now 40 years ago, wow. So I'm serving them, as well as executive director at the Legacy Center, which is our nonprofit, and over missions. And yeah, just loving people, loving Jesus. 01:39 - Speaker 2 Ministry is messy and family ministry can be really, really messy. Let's talk about that a little bit. I mean, I was 19,. You were 17. You give your heart to the Lord two days before me. You go off to Bible college, you get married. Talk a little bit about that formation, your passion for missions and then winding up in Lima, Peru. 02:02 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean I, just as soon as I got saved, I just knew that I just wanted to do missions. I mean I, just as soon as I got saved, I just knew that I just wanted to do missions. Uh, I mean, ever since we were I mean, I was six years old, you were eight, you know dad would go to Haiti or Guatemala and I'd beg him to go with and that was my passion, that wasn't yours, um, and so I just knew I wanted to be on the mission field and so when I was old enough and I got married, we went right to Peru and figured out what was my lane and I just loved evangelism and it was incredible and everything just blew up really quickly in a great way, but maybe not a great way. I don't think we really knew how to do ministry and family and keep the balance, which I think is just listen, I'm going to go here Satan hates family. 02:50 Yeah, satan hates the family. I mean you go from Adam and Eve, cain and Abel, I mean Abraham and Lot and Isaac and Ishmael and Jacob and Esau and Joseph and his brothers. I mean it just, it just gets-. 03:03 - Speaker 1 There's some issues there. 03:04 - Speaker 3 There's family issues? Yeah, absolutely. And anytime you try to do ministry and love Jesus, especially in a family setting, satan is going to attack with everything he's got. And he did that to us. I mean we were thriving in ministry. 03:18 - Speaker 2 I mean you go from literally helping a church to now executive pastor at the largest church in the city of Lima, with multiple campuses and then offices all over South America, Central America and the Caribbean. I mean talk about that. It was crazy. 03:31 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, we just we just started wanting to tell people about Jesus. We found a way that, through humanitarian efforts, we were able to not only tell them but show them that Jesus loves them. And Operation Blessing got involved and it just blew up. And now we're not only we have offices all over Central and South America, the Caribbean, and then we had invented a program that took us all over Asia and Africa, and the travel is in our minds. Man, look what God is doing. Sure, right, but I think the amount of travel and the lack of boundaries, of making sure there was family time, making sure the home was protected, the enemy got a foothold in. 04:13 And in 2010, my wife and I wound up getting divorced. Three kids shattered family very embarrassing. I'm a pastor. How is this happening to me? God, you know I thought you were doing all this amazing stuff and it took me on a bad path. I mean, this is 15 years ago and I'm still healing from it and you know, obviously never wanting to divorce God, but having this rough relationship, like you said, you'd work it out all for good. I'm not seeing the good. When are we getting to the good part here? And like you said you'd work it out all for good. I'm not seeing the good. When are we getting to the good part here? And you know, you made these promises and I'm alone raising three kids now? 04:54 - Speaker 2 No, there's an old saying that says that time heals all wounds. No, it's not true, right? No, I mean speak to that a little bit, because you just said it's 15 years later. 05:10 - Speaker 3 You're a pastor, you're a leader, you're leading a mega church in new york city and yet you're still in the process of god healing you while you're leading. Yeah, you know, I buried the, the I don't I would say I buried the trauma. Trauma, uh, because when we got divorced, my three kids kids were everything and I everything was like on hold. I felt I feel, including myself, to make sure my girls were good. If we're talking honest, it wasn't until 2024, early 2024 that I go. 05:37 I am not healthy. My youngest is now in college and it was almost like when she goes to college and out of the house, then I could almost focus on myself, maybe date, maybe get married. And then all of a sudden, I realized I'm not healthy for this and I had to get health, uh, healthy and get help from, I mean mentally, spiritually, physically, all these things. But time he doesn't heal all wounds. You literally have to put the work in right and you got to get some people in your life that you can be honest with that. Forget the filters right, just be completely transparent with to say, hey, you're not okay, man, there's, I see something in you. And for me to be able to tell somebody yo, I'm not okay, I need help, I'm not doing good. This is in my mind, these are my thoughts. This is what I'm doing Like in ministry as a pastor. Yo, I'm not okay. I'm helping everybody else, sure Making sure, everybody else is physically fed with the legacy center, is spiritually fed at church, but I am not okay. 06:36 - Speaker 2 Let's talk about that, because you come back to New York and this passion for missions is passion for helping people. That was on display on an international level now is transformed into a local level. Now it's New York City and we've got a startup legacy center that somebody gave a donation and you come back to basically run it in the midst of your difficulty, in the midst of what you're going through, and we've got a 10,000 square foot warehouse and hurricane Sandy hits. Talk a little bit about you coming back to New York and the translation of missions from a international place to now a localized place in New York and helping people. 07:17 - Speaker 3 Yeah, the pastor, pastor Robert Barriger, who was my pastor in Peru, he would always say find the itch and scratch it. Yeah, every neighborhood has an issue that needs to be solved, a problem that needs to be solved, every economic group, from rich to poor. So when you're in a community, what are the needs in the community? And so, with the Legacy Center, we started off with backpacks, we started off with local stuff. Then we had this crazy vision, you and I like, hey, let's move to Brooklyn and maybe either start a church with the Legacy Center and we rent this 10,000 square foot warehouse, which is the funniest thing, because we're like all right, now what? And then, literally the day after, world Vision calls and says, hey, we're closing down this warehouse. We got all this pallet shelving. Do you want it? What? 08:06 A week later, a week, hurricane Sandy hits. We go to BJ's, we buy everything we can water and canned goods, blankets and we hit the streets. We were the first ones in the street, national Guard escorts, as I remember, right, and so all the news channels are on us. And so then I mean, we have people like Costco's and BJ's and Stop and Shops and Ralph Lauren and different companies and Burlington Coal Factory saying, hey, we got all this stuff. You guys have a warehouse. 08:33 It was empty a day before and now it was so packed that the street had to get shut down because all the pallets were calling everybody come pick up stuff, give it out, give it out. And what was great about it was, I felt, god even you know, I don't believe God makes all things happen, but he makes all things for the good, he works out all things for the good and he even used that to put our name on the map where all these companies are now trusting us. You guys have a distribution plan and you guys are out there helping the people. And so, to this day, what are we, 12 years later? I mean no, 2008. I don't know how many years. 09:06 - Speaker 2 Math you know I just think about. I remember the scene of literally 18 wheelers lined up for blocks coming to offload. We were able not only to help our community, but we were helping in the Rockaways and families that were devastated, and then we were giving materials and supplies to other churches that they could serve their communities. And one of the things I really believe is that preparation is the breeding ground for spontaneity. When you make preparation for what you've been praying for, god is able to give you what you've been praying for. 09:43 I think too often we're praying for stuff and because we're not preparing to receive it, we're actually going to waste it. If God gave it to us. And so you know, we had empty shelving and a shell of a building and now, all of a sudden, a week later, we're on the ground with National Guard escorts into the areas hit most devastated by it. You're leading the charge. I think my job was to help go raise some money and you're just yeah, thank you. And now, all these years later I mean 2025, you're still feeding thousands of people. 10:18 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I think again. I think I mean you even look at this empty warehouse. You go make room and God fills it. Yes, and I felt like it was such a big faith moment because it didn't make sense. And yet we felt God told us to do it and a week later it's filled to capacity. The same thing, I think our vision should never be attainable in us. It has to be God vision that only God is going to do this. He's the one that's going to accomplish this. He's the one that's going to make those dreams come true, come to reality. 10:53 - Speaker 2 It's not that our prayers are too big for God. It's our prayers are too small, that we don't have enough capacity and space to let God do the miraculous. And because he wants to ensure that he alone gets the glory, then the truth of the matter is we need to be praying big prayers, audacious prayers. 11:10 - Speaker 3 Prayers that say God, if you don't show up, Blow our minds this year. 11:13 - Speaker 2 Yeah, blow our minds. Let 2025 be the year that you pray as a leader. 11:23 - Speaker 3 God, blow my mind this year with what you're going to do and we put an expectation on it. And I say, you know we go happy new year and it's kind of this blanket. I go, I want a happy new year. I want, I want every day to be happy, like every single day. I want to wake up. You know, you wake up January 1st with this new year's resolution and you go I got these big goals and stuff and then by January 6th, like it's, it's every morning, I want to wake up. It is, it is a new day, new mercy. God's got something crazy for today. Like God, blow my mind today. Let me have a conversation with somebody, let me connect with someone that's going to like offer whatever for the kingdom. 12:00 - Speaker 2 Like man, blow our minds. Every single day of this year. I have been praying Galatians 6, 9 since the beginning of the year. If we do not give up in due season and I've been declaring every day, today, on this day, this is my due season. And I've been declaring every day, today, on this day this is my due season. 2025 is my due season. I will reap a harvest if you do not give up. And so, for every pastor, that's what we're praying for you right now, for every leader that is watching this right now, we are praying for your due season, where God's going to blow your mind through your ministry and your family, with your spouse and your children, and you're going to do great things for the kingdom man. 12:31 And then, in the middle of this, 2015, comes dad and I go through a failed succession plan. We had been working on it for a couple of years, probably didn't do everything right Actually, I know on hindsight, certainly didn't do everything right and I'm leaving the church. What was that like for you? I mean, I've told that story from my perspective, but as I began to think about this conversation, this podcast this morning, what was that like from your vantage point? 13:03 - Speaker 3 You know, I'm the missions guy, I'm the legacy center guy, so I was never really in the church part of it. But it was very sad to me because I go, this is ministry. We're the ministers of reconciliation. I've already lost a wife. Now I'm about to lose a brother. This doesn't feel right. 13:27 And I think you and I hadn't talked because of everything that happened. You kind of went ghosts If I, um, you were just I'm done with this and everything that happened. And I think you and I hadn't talked for like two years. I know I was hitting you up, um, and because I was just like yo, I don't want to lose another person, yeah, um, and because I was just like yo, I don't want to lose another person, yeah, I think my PTSD or something from the divorce was killing me. Uh, finally, you know you respond and you go hey, all right, let's go get breakfast. And we go get breakfast. And it was like no time had passed. Right, you and I are hanging out, we'll watch, we'll go into games or whatever. And then five years after that, I mean so we're going to games or whatever. And then five years after that, I mean so we're seven years in now. You and dad and mom hadn't talked. Lucy your kids my wife. 14:19 - Speaker 2 My wife hadn't talked to mom and dad, my kids hadn't seen or talked to their grandparents in seven years. I mean, it is a chasm. There's just radio silence, silence. There's just this death of relationship. And then, if I remember correctly, I'm hosting a pastor's retreat, which I've done for the last eight plus years now, and we're in the Hamptons. Pastor Joel Osteen comes to the pastor's retreat and he's hanging out to the pastor's retreat, and he's hanging out, and the next night he bumps into you at a rally in the Bronx because he's about to do Yankee stadium Right. And you guys are in the Bronx at this pastor's gathering. What was, what was that conversation like? 15:01 - Speaker 3 I mean, well, me and you were good, right. So he came. Hey, I just saw your brother and, uh, I almost did a little Joel impression but, um, yeah, we're going to leave that out. 15:10 - Speaker 2 Yeah, leave that out, cut that out. 15:12 - Speaker 3 So I just saw your brother and I'm like, oh great, you know. But I know dad was there and I don't know if that was awkward, because what do you say? You know, hey, how's your sons, you know? Oh great, like I haven't seen him and it's awkward, it's embarrassing. We're leaders in the church, sure, and it's just embarrassing. You know, I mean I was talking to somebody the other day. Oh, you know, we're talking, we're inviting him to speak at the church. You know, are you married? And I go no, you feel like this punch in the gut, like I mean, people are judging you. It's embarrassing, how do you say it? But but hey, this is my reality. Listen, you talk about real quick. 15:54 You talk about the whole thing with Joseph, and, right, he goes through everything he goes through, and then, all of a sudden, now he's here, now his brothers are in a family and they come, and he's like, hey, it's okay, god sent me ahead of you guys. He set this whole thing up. He was like I can help you be here, because I've been here already, right, and so I know again, god doesn't make all things happen, but he does make all things good, and so I've been able to tell people, uh, that are going through a divorce, going through a really dark season, people that are like I'm throwing in the towel, like the wave just keeps smacking you and pulling you underwater and you feel like you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm like pulling you underwater and you feel like you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm like man, god's got you, god's got. He's not a man that he should lie Like. He makes a promise that he wants to restore the years the locusts have eaten. He wants to rebuild what was torn down. He wants to provide for you in the famine. 16:44 You talk about Genesis 1, there was darkness, let there be light. He said it was good, like, first it was darkness, but light is coming. You don't have an Easter without a good Friday, all that kind of stuff. And I'm able to tell people going through situations God's got you. He doesn't make all things happen. We have free will. There's personal choices involved. People can offend you, people can hurt you, but, man, when you submit to God and go, god, I'm in your will, I'm in your hands. You make all things good for those that love him and are called according to his purpose, and that is some good news. 17:19 - Speaker 2 And so I've said repeatedly I said it two years ago when we were here at Pass Pass I'm like the hinge. Every door, no matter how large cathedrals in Europe that are 30, 40 feet high, every door swings on a hinge. The hinge is what allows it to swing open and close, and you were the hinge for the door of reconciliation between dad and I, so that Tuesday night in the Bronx led to a Thursday night dinner, right, which you and I were just already going to. 17:49 - Speaker 3 We were going to dinner, we were going to dinner, we were going to hang out, and I said um. I said you know what Enough is enough. Tonight Dinner with dad, 7.00 PM said the name of the restaurant. 18:01 - Speaker 2 You said okay, yeah, we can't name the name of the restaurant unless they're going to give us a spot. 18:04 - Speaker 3 Yeah, Uh, you said okay and uh, I called dad. I said dad, I don't know what you're doing tonight, but seven o'clock, this restaurant dinner with Adam, enough is enough. He said okay and funny enough, you guys got there before I did. 18:18 - Speaker 2 I did. I got there 15 minutes early and dad was already waiting and I can tell you that literally within the first five minutes after hugging him and I'm up, I'm about to hold back a little tears. It was. It was like everything up to that, like there wasn't an unearthing of seven years, and yet in that moment it was like God had literally wiped away all the devastation and all the heartache and all the years of just not talking and and and and the feelings of rejection or or or anger, or bitterness. And it was like, and I mean, I remember that dinner. I remember waiters coming over to us and saying you know, this is a restaurant we frequent pretty often, and they were coming over and just we were laughing. And it was this incredible, three hour long, amazing dinner where God had done what I believe only God could have done. 19:09 - Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, it was beautiful. And then I remember, you know it was kind of funny because I was like driving to the restaurant thinking like man, this is awesome, I get to be a part of this. And then I get there and you guys are already like worked it out and I'm like all right. That was humbling. But I remember getting in the car, calling mom and and say, mom, that was the most beautiful thing ever. I think you need to call your wife and arrange the four of you. And she's like, well, should you be? I don't need to be there, I'm good Like you guys go. And then it happened, and it happened. 19:43 And then your kids and then our kids. It was like you would think they would have needed to be more therapy or something. 19:52 - Speaker 2 Yeah, Something should have needed to happen and yet it was almost. Like you know, the Bible says he's the bomb in Gilead, he's the healing, anointing oil in Gilead and somehow he literally was the lubricant for the relationship to get back on the tracks. And so now we get to what happened two years earlier, with Pastor AR Bernard says hey, instead of me doing the keynote tonight on the middle night, there's over 400 pastors in the room. What if I interview you and your dad? And at the time I'm struggling with Bell's palsy. Half my face is completely paralyzed. I'm slurring my words because of this virus that's in my system. And we're on the platform and you're in the room and of course, there's lots of pastors that have journeyed through these years and saw it from afar. But you're up close, man. You're on the front row watching this. What was that like for you? 20:50 - Speaker 3 Honestly, one was just beautiful. I was thankful to Pastor AR Bernard for even giving up his spot to show such a beautiful reconciliation moment. I knew at least three guys in the room that both them and their dad was in the room right here and they weren't talking. Wow. 21:14 - Speaker 2 In the auditorium at a pastor's prayer gathering to go away to pray, and they're not in reconciliation. 21:24 - Speaker 3 They're not talking and I'm like this is crazy. The devastation of family, broken family. We're again ministers of reconciliation and our family is this broken. Are you kidding me? And I know multiple guys in the room are going through this. So, to highlight this beautiful moment, you guys, to have a real conversation, put all your stuff out there we haven't even had a private conversation about it. 21:52 - Speaker 2 This is the first time we're really talking about it. 21:54 - Speaker 3 but again, this is what I'm talking about, when I'm not saying you have to put all your business out there all the time, but I do believe we go through stuff because God's going to use what you've been through to help somebody else go through what they're going through. Later God's going to bring us through some things, teach us some things and then use it to now tell somebody else hey, I've been through this. 22:21 - Speaker 2 The Holy Spirit is our comforter, not to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters Like the same healing we've received is for others. And to that point on that night, pastor Bernard turns to dad and says Pastor Durso, would you pray for those in the room that might be dealing with? You know broken relationships. And dad, in his only way he could do it, says if you're in the room now I'm facing the because we're on the platform I'm facing the room. And he says if you're in the room and you're not talking to your mom, dad, son, daughter, there's this broken relationship. I want to pray for you. 80% of the room these are pastors 80% of the room has got their hand up and in that moment dad is praying, really shepherding these shepherds into a moment to pray for reconciliation. 23:17 And I wonder if this entire conversation this afternoon, live from Pastor's Prayer Summit, is to get us to this moment where, jordan, you would pray for leaders who are watching this podcast right now and are saying I'm in a broken relationship, I'm in that I haven't come out the other side of that valley, I'm still walking through that valley of the shadow of death, I'm still estranged from my family or my kids or my spouse, and that they would be reminded to. Like you said, god doesn't cause everything to happen, but he works all things together for the good of them that love him and are called according to his purpose. And so, as we close this, if there's any final thought and then would you pray for those that are watching this right now so that they could receive that same healing. 24:07 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I want to just tell you that you're not alone. I think many times that the enemy tries to make us think that we're alone, that what we're going through is only what we're going through, and so we get embarrassed and we don't share it with someone. And you need to share it with someone. When my dad said, when our dad said, is anyone else? And 80% of the rooms raised their hands, you're like we thought in the moment we were the only ones going through this and so you kind of hide it. You're not. So you know in the public about it. People are going through this. You are not alone. Get around some people. Get some people that you can trust. Link arms with somebody. This life is too hard to do alone. Yes, I don't care if you're a leader 80 years or you just got saved. This life is too hard to do alone. Yes, I don't care if you're a leader 80 years or you just got saved, this life is too hard to do alone. Grab somebody, let them walk with you. Be be honest, be transparent. Uh, because when you're alone I mean you watch all the national geographic that line always goes for that one. That's what the enemy does. He goes for the one that's off. On its own it's an easier catch. But when you're in a group, enemy ain't messing with you. Yeah, at least he'll think twice because you got some good people around you. Get some good people around you. 25:21 Can I pray? Yeah, absolutely, father. God, I thank you for this moment. I thank you that you make all things good. You know, even though we don't like what's happened in the past, we don't like some of the situations that we've been through. We wish maybe we wouldn't have gone through it. But, god, we say we submit those situations. We thank you for bringing us through, god, we thank you for the freedom that you gave us. So, now that we can now give hope to someone else, I pray for every single person that is in a situation where they're not talking to their dad, or they're not talking to their son or daughter or cousin or leader, whatever it is. God, I pray right now for a spirit of reconciliation, even through this stream. 26:06 God, I pray that we would make a declaration, we'd go not. One more day is going to go by. I'm not letting the enemy come between us. I'm not letting the spirit of division rest here. No, no, no, no. There's going to be forgiveness. There's going to be an active step forward to reconciliation here, god, I pray in the name of Jesus man. You said people would know us by our love. You said people would know us by our love. God, do something miraculous, even if it is, even if it's mind blowing to us. We can't see how this is going to work out, god. We just submit God. We lay it all down. We lay it all down, including myself. We lay it all down and we are confident. We are confident. We are confident that you, who began a good work in us, you're going to carry it on to completion. 27:03 We are confident that we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living we are confident that goodness and mercy are going to follow us all the days of our lives, as we submit, as we humble ourselves. God, I pray all this in the name of Jesus. God Fuse relationships right now, as we speak. God Fuse it. God Do something miraculous right now. In the precious name of Jesus, we pray Amen. 27:29 - Speaker 2 Amen, man that's so good. Alone and wounded is a recipe for the enemy to attack man. I am Pastor Adam Durso, helping to host Faithly's podcast this week with my younger brother, pastor Jordan Durso, who is leading over at Saints Church, and we want to encourage you as a leader. Stay connected, stay connected on Faithly, stay connected with other leaders. God bless you. 27:52 - Speaker 1 Amen. Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the frontlines of ministry on the Faithly podcast. From the front lines of ministry on the Faithly Podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.