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From Worrier to Warrior - Lindsay Connolly
Could a stranger's kindness change the course of your life? In our heartfelt conversation with Lindsay Connolly, she reveals her extraordin…
Oct. 28, 2024
From Worrier to Warrior - Lindsay Connolly
Could a stranger's kindness change the course of your life? In our heartfelt conversation with Lindsay Connolly, she reveals her extraordinary journey of faith and perseverance through life's toughest trials. Raised in a Christian home, Lindsay reflects on the pivotal moments that not only tested her beliefs but also deepened her faith, from her parents' divorce and her mother's cancer battle during her college years to the life-altering events in Denmark when her husband Rob faced a medical crisis. Her story is a testament to the power of community support and the profound impact of unexpected kindness during times of vulnerability.
As Lindsay recounts, a family vacation turned into a harrowing ordeal when Rob's seizures led to the discovery of a brain tumor amidst the chaos of COVID restrictions. Yet, in this moment of despair, an unlikely hero emerged—a stranger named Sarah who became a lifeline for Lindsay and her children. Through this chapter of her life, Lindsay highlights how divine love and protection can manifest through the kindness of others, reinforcing her belief in the transformative power of faith and community. The experience further solidified her conviction that embracing faith over fear can lead to extraordinary resilience and hope.
Throughout our discussion, Lindsay shares wisdom gleaned from recognizing divine signs in everyday life, the importance of gratitude, and the healing power of humor. Personal anecdotes bring light to the significance of finding joy even in adversity, with Lindsay recalling lighter moments with Rob that underscore the value of laughter as a coping mechanism. Her reflections remind us to appreciate the often unnoticed wonders around us and to seek out the extraordinary within life's ordinary moments. This episode is a profound exploration of faith, resilience, and the enduring strength found in the bonds of family and community.
(00:01) Faith Journey Through Trials and Crisis
(10:42) Stranger's Kindness in Crisis
(15:38) Finding Faith Through Life-Changing Trials
(29:58) Revealing Signs of God's Presence
(34:23) Recognizing Gratitude in Everyday Life
(39:35) Discovering Humor Through Life's Challenges
Website - https://faithly.co
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/faithly.co
Lindsay Connolly
https://faithly.co/profiles/lindsayconnolly
The MomCo by MOPS International
https://www.mops.org/themomco
Chapters
01:00 - Faith Journey Through Trials and Crisis
10:42:00 - Stranger's Kindness in Crisis
15:38:00 - Finding Faith Through Life-Changing Trials
29:58:00 - Revealing Signs of God's Presence
34:23:00 - Recognizing Gratitude in Everyday Life
39:35:00 - Discovering Humor Through Life's Challenges
Transcript
00:01 - Speaker 1
Bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch and about 20 minutes later he wakes up in a very violent seizure. So this is the first time he's never had a seizure before. I have never seen a seizure, I've never witnessed this before, but I knew what it was. And so I panic, as I think anybody would do in that moment, and I'm trying to find my phone and, like I always have my phone on me somewhere and in this moment I could not find it. My poor kids are standing there just yelling, saying like is daddy dying, what's you know? And I'm like guys, help me find my phone. Hi, my name is Lindsay Connolly. I work for the MomCo by Mops International as the Northeast Network Manager. I am a mom to three kids. I live in Wilmington, north Carolina, and this is my Faithly Story.
00:48 - Speaker 2
Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast.
01:30 - Speaker 3
I always start by asking could you tell me a little bit about your faith journey?
01:35 - Speaker 1
I was very fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. Both of my parents loved the Lord and loved the Lord still, I should say that. And I grew up I was born in Massachusetts but really grew up in Maine, so Maine is home to me. And so my dad is actually a pilot and has been my whole life, and so I was raised in the church, you know, went through Sunday school, youth group and all the things, and when September 11th happened, you know my dad being a pilot as his career. You know he had just come home the day before from like a two week trip and I remember I was, I was in sixth grade when September 11th happened happened. And I remember laying in my bed that night after watching the news and processing what I could at that age and realizing, like the connection between what my dad does for work and what we were watching unfold, you know, in our country. And I remember laying in bed that night thinking if that had been me, where would I, where would I have gone? And even though I had grown up in the church my whole life, I had never really claimed my faith as my own, and so that was the night that I became a Christian and accepted Christ into my life and I just thought I believe in God, I love God. But I had never made that step, and so that was kind of my first little journey.
03:02
But then, as I got older, um, I went through some pretty hard college years. Um, my parents ended up getting divorced, um, while I was in college, which was really hard to navigate, um, even though I was kind of out of the house at that point, it was just, it was a big shock. It kind of like came out of nowhere, and so that was really hard. And I was away at school, I had gotten, I actually went to school initially and to play volleyball, and then I got injured and ended up with mono.
03:35
Just, it felt like so many things had happened. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and so in like three very short years, three to four years, it was just felt like one thing after another, after another, and it was hard. But it was really when I knew my faith was really. You know, this is like when your faith comes into play. You know and I had a pastor ask me, like Lindsay you know, sometimes when people go through things like this that are really hard, they actually turn away from God and they turn away from their faith because they they're like well, I don't understand why this would happen, and I said well, to be honest, like I see, I can understand where people come from, but I have to believe that there is such a more, greater good and that God has, is going to use all of these things in my life in some capacity and maybe to help other people, and that was really like what I clung to and so that was kind of my my college years.
04:35 - Speaker 3
Could I ask you something about that. Yeah, I mean, did people help you through those moments or you just kind of had kind of like this sincere trust that he was going to work through it?
04:47 - Speaker 1
I was really involved in campus ministry and so I was a part of a small group, a girl's Bible study on campus, I attended crew, and so all of that was just really instrumental. I did not do it on my own and thankfully my mom my mom is so strong in her faith as well and so she's such an encouragement. You know, even through all of those really hard times she was really kind of like a rock for me and my brother and sister too, and for all of us. So I stayed very tied into like attended church through college, was really really tried to get plugged in where I could because I knew.
05:28 - Speaker 3
I knew I needed that you know so, something I'm realizing more and more. Faith is a lived experience and once you experience like the goodness and the hope that comes from faith, like it becomes more real. I'm just curious as to, like, were there any moments along those years, while you're processing and working through it with people you know in the church yeah, Can you remember something that like was like like leading you through or pulling you through or helping you cling on?
05:56 - Speaker 1
So it's interesting, it wasn't really until I got older and I feel like this is maybe where you and I can pivot in the conversation, maybe a little bit. The most recent year of my life, the most recent 14 months I feel like I can answer that specific question, if that makes sense. Yeah, perfect, go, okay. So I got married right out of college. I married my high school sweetheart, rob. We have three kids. They're nine, seven and four, almost about to turn five. It's November of 2022.
06:27
We actually went on like a family kind of vacation, but it was a work trip. Rob had runs his own kind of his own business and so he had a lot of work in Europe to do, and so we took the kids for three weeks and we went to Europe, and so it's going to be like a big learning experience. We're going to travel with him and so we get over to Europe and our whole family gets the flu. It started with our daughter and it just kind of worked its way through everyone and Rob ended up being the last one to get the flu and at this point we were kind of on like the final week of our trip. We'd already been in Europe for two weeks.
07:07
We were in the final week of our trip and we were in Denmark and Rob called me from work one day and he said hey, I really feel bad, I need you to come pick me up. And so I go pick him up. And we were staying at a place that, when I say Great Wolf Lodge, do you know? Are you familiar with Great Wolf Lodge?
07:26 - Speaker 2
They are like an indoor.
07:28 - Speaker 1
Well, they're all over this was kind of like a Great Wolf Lodge of Denmark, let's say, big, like indoor water parks and all kinds of fun stuff for the kids and everybody. Instead of staying in like a hotel room, you stay in an individual house. So I bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch Everybody. Instead of staying in like a hotel room, you stay in an individual house. So I bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch and about 20 minutes later he wakes up in a very violent seizure. So this is the first time he's never had a seizure before. I have never seen a seizure, I've never witnessed this before, but I knew what it was.
08:06
And so I panic, as I think anybody would do in that moment, and I'm trying to find my phone and, like I always have my phone on me somewhere and in this moment I could not find it, my poor kids are standing there just yelling, saying like is daddy dying, what's you know? And and I'm like guys, help me find my phone. And so we run around the house. I finally find my phone and I blank and I'm like who do I call? I'm not in America. I don't even know the number. I don't even know where I am I don't even know the address of where I am right now and I go back over to Rob and he is still convulsing and he is gray, his face is gray, his lips are gray, and I just thought, like this is it? And I thought I he can't die in front of me and I'm Googling what to do, and so I did the only thing I could think of in that moment, which was to run out in the middle of the street in the dark. This is about probably 530, six o'clock at night and I run out in the street and I scream as loud as I can for help. And, by God, it felt instantaneous. And I heard a voice who heard me screaming and she, this woman, was out walking her dog, um, in the dark, and she heard me yelling. And so she comes running, um, comes into the house, she helps with Rob. He stopped convulsing, but he was unresponsive for about 20 minutes and so she's helping with him. She tells me how to call rescue, and so I, I call them and they can't understand my English, and so I hand her my phone and she speaks to them and tells them how to find us.
09:38
And so at this point my kids had all kind of dispersed throughout the house. Our daughter locked herself in one room, the boys were in another, and I thought I need to get all my kids together. And so I go get our daughter and I have to walk her past Rob, and I said, ok, you need to. I wanted to shield her. And so I told her you need to close your eyes, I'm going to go bring you to the boys. And so I put all my kids together and I go out in the street and I go to track down the ambulance.
10:05
And so the ambulance comes and as they, these two big, burly Danish men come in the house and at this point Rob had started to wake up a little bit, but he had no memory and he didn't know what had happened or where he was or anything. And I said, what's going on? Like, is he okay? And this woman who had come to help me, her name is Sarah. Sarah says, well, generally after a seizure, there's a period of short-term memory loss, and so and she starts rattling off all this information, and I just grabbed her arm and I said wait a minute. I said, are you a doctor? And she said, yeah, I am. And so the paramedics look at me and they said look, we need to take him to the hospital, but here's the deal they're not going to let your kids in because of COVID regulations.
10:52
And Sarah looks at me and she says she's like, no problem, lindsay, she had seen me carry my daughter across the house and she's like, I can watch your daughter for you, no problem. And I said, no, no, no, you don't understand. I have three kids here. And she's like, oh well, show them to me. And so I take her into the room where the kids are and she says, hey guys, she goes um, I have three kids at my house. They're seven, five and three. How old are you guys? And my kids were eight, six and three practically the exact same ages. And um turns out she had also just arrived on vacation that afternoon. They lived about an hour away. They're from Denmark, but they were from about an hour away. And she looks at me and she says, lindsay, no problem, I'll take the kids to my house, I'll feed them dinner and then I'll come back and put them to bed and I'll just wait for you.
11:38
And I walked back over to the paramedic and I said I'm about to leave my three kids in a foreign country with a complete stranger. Her kids spoke no English. I said to him, I said, is this incredibly stupid? And I'll never forget? He looked at me and he, like, put his hands on my shoulders and he's like you can trust her and she's a doctor and your husband needs you and so you need to come with us. And I had incredible peace about leaving them and so I left them with her. Our youngest didn't even have shoes. I was so frantic I couldn't find his shoes and she carried him to their house. We exchanged we couldn't even exchange phone numbers. We exchanged Facebook messenger on there so that we could communicate.
12:21
And so I followed the ambulance and it took us about two hours to get to the hospital because they took us to one and then we had to go to another. And when we went in they were like well, you're otherwise healthy, like if you were a European citizen, we would do more testing on you, but you should just follow up with your doctor when you get back to the US. And I remember asking the doctor I said if this happens again, what do I do? And she said well, you do what you did and you call rescue. And in that moment I screenshotted the phone number because I think I knew. I just had a gut feeling that I was probably going to need it. And so I brought Rob back home.
12:59
And three hours later he had another seizure. And so I called the paramedics again and the same two men showed up and came and brought him in. At this point they said, okay, well it's, you know, it's like two o'clock in the morning at this point. And so they said why don't you just come in the morning? And so the next morning I drive the kids to the hospital and I walk in at the same time as the, as the doctor did, and he said you have a brain tumor. And it's amazing what goes through your mind when you hear news like that. And he was really sick too. He had the flu and pneumonia, and so they said we're going to keep him for a few days to get him on some meds and get him healthy. And so he spent four days in the hospital and get him healthy. And so he spent four days in the hospital.
13:47
And that was the time that I got on the phone with Duke and I called and I said hey, I'm in Denmark, but I just found out this news and I need your next available equipment. And so, thankfully, my father-in-law jumped on a plane and flew over. I ended up leaving the kids with Sarah multiple times. She was absolutely incredible and I call her my Denmark, my angel from Denmark, because she brought us meals, she did grocery shopping, she did my laundry, she translated all of Rob's medical records from Danish to English, because nothing was in English. I still keep in touch with her to this day because she was absolutely amazing to care for my family and my kids as my own, and when you experience the kindness of a complete stranger like that, it is so life-changing. And so my father-in-law ended up coming over and we had a flight out.
14:39
About a week after this happened, we had a flight back to the US, and the night before, our son, our oldest son, ended up having a seizure.
14:47
And so, for the third time in five, six days, I had to call the paramedics again. Um, his ended up being stress induced based on what he had, everything he had witnessed. But um, that night before we flew back to the U? S, I had never felt so um alone and so defeated in my entire life and so scared Um, but also had never felt so loved by God as I ever had in that moment. Um, because for me to go running out in the street in such a moment of pure desperation and for it to feel so instantaneous that somebody was there, that somebody that God sent to be there in that moment, was incredible.
15:36
And so we got back to the US. I had him an appointment, a consultation, at Duke within two weeks and then two weeks after that, he had surgery to remove the tumor, which was right before Christmas of last year, and he's doing great today. It's incredible. I'm so, so grateful to the medical teams at Duke. We go every three months for like follow-up scans, but he's doing great. But such a such a life-changing year for us in so many ways, and to see the way that our church family, my mom's family, that people come alongside you in such dire needs is incredible, and only God can orchestrate the things that we have experienced.
16:24 - Speaker 3
Is your son, okay.
16:24 - Speaker 1
That's a lot of information.
16:27 - Speaker 3
No, no, I didn't want to ruin the story, yeah.
16:30 - Speaker 1
Yes, our son is fine. He his was like I said. His was purely stress induced and we had him checked out and evaluated, but it was trauma of of witnessing the seizures and that caused his pain.
16:47 - Speaker 3
Yeah, you feel like from your college years to now, because there's a gap right. Looking back, do you see how all those moments prepared you for this moment, or you haven't processed yet?
17:02 - Speaker 1
through college made me really think a lot and lean into my faith, and for that reason it was something that was still so important to me to be able to see good in bad situations, and I feel like that's what it taught me to be able to see the goodness of God in hard times, in desperate times, in times where you want to say like where are you, god, and why is this happening, but to be able to see how good and how faithful God is and what can be in what was my worst case scenario. You know, I feel like that's what it prepared me for, because even in all of the bad and all of the hard, we serve a God who is so faithful and so good and can bring good to all circumstances. And I really believe that and I feel like God has given us an incredible testimony to share with people on how faithful he is. And it's when I start to worry about, like, what could happen with this in the future. You know, because we don't know, there's a lot of unknowns right now for us, and so when I start to get too far ahead of myself and I want to go down the rabbit hole of worrying about things, I have to remind myself and this is daily, this is sometimes hourly I have to remind myself the ways that God showed up and has showed up and will show up Because, like I said, to be in a situation where I was so desperate that I resorted to running in the streets just hoping for help, and my thought being I'm going to run to whatever house I can find that has a car in it, you know. But for me to go out and yell and for a doctor, a mother, a mother of kids, my kids ages, for her to be the one that God had.
19:00
And you know, what's even more incredible about this is that Sarah, sarah, is not a believer. Sarah's family, she has a lot of family members who are believers, but Sarah is not. Sarah's in the medical field and over there she's like very science based Right, and so she said I don't really know what I believe. But she said to me a few months ago, because we still chat, and she said Lindsay, she said you know it, it's, it is.
19:30
It does seem like it's a miracle to me that I was there, because she said I wasn't even going to go walk the dog. She said we had just arrived to the house. We had just made dinner and dinner was ready and she said my husband and I kind of went back and forth whether we thought she said whether it was an appropriate time to walk the dog or not. She said I felt like I needed to and he thought we didn't. And so she said I finally just said to him I'm going to go walk the dog, I'll be back in five minutes, and in those five minutes is when all of this happened and our paths would have never, ever crossed had it not been for that.
20:09
You know and I don't see how you can explain that in any other way I don't believe in coincidences, but other than God that God had her there for that reason and it has opened such incredible doors for she and I to have conversations you know about, about God and about faith and um. So yeah, it's definitely life-changing, probably for the both of us. Honestly yeah.
20:36 - Speaker 3
So I'm coming to realize more and more people who are skeptical, or logical, or actually these people to convince because you just have to lead them toward the goodness of god. And the goodness of god is so like paradoxical because it feels so good but it's very opposite of what the world says it is, and so when people experience that, they're like they don't know what to do with their mind and a coincidence is just an unexplained pattern. But that's why you need faith, because then you think everything is just random and luck, or you can believe someone is actually in control and doing good for you. So I love that. And yeah, this morning, like something that's been running in my like this past year has been completely transformational too.
21:21
God said like man, you are supposed to be a warrior r, I mean w-a-r-r-o I'm a bad spelling, but you know what I mean. Right, a warrior, right Like strong. But then we created cities to protect ourselves from the elements and so we've gotten soft and now all we do is worry. So we are warriors, not warriors. And I was like, oh, that's pretty clever. And I'm realizing more and more this week actually that doubt isn't what kills faith, it's fear. Right, because the doubting will lead you to be afraid, and now you're acting in fear. So now you got like I got to do it, I got to do it, and then you realize you can't do anything. You need so much help, yeah. So thank you.
22:06 - Speaker 1
I'll tell you, like I'll be the first to admit, I have been a worrier probably my whole life. That is how I've been. It is my default and I'm not proud of it, and I know that's sin and something that I have cognitively and really prayerfully had to process through, and I have not figured it all out by any means. So I will give that disclaimer. This year has taught me all the stuff that I have worried about in the past that is so doesn't matter, you know, and like. The thing that this has taught me is to not, like I have to really really be aware of, like holding my thoughts captive and not letting myself get ahead of me, like I don't, I don't want to write a story in my head of something that might not happen, you know. And so this has been a year of God, being like Lindsay. This is, you can't worry about this anymore, because you know what if I, if I worried about this the way that I have other things in the past, this would bury me there. I wouldn't be able to to function, you know, and I know that. And so God has taught me like I have to really really just reflect on his goodness. I know I keep saying that, but I have to reflect on his goodness and the ways that he showed up and and just fill my mind with that, because that is what is getting us through, you know. And so one thing too that's been really cool is just the way God speaks through different things. We so, like I said, we go every three months to Duke for these follow-up scans, and so when we were there in October, we had gone in and, you know, got the clean bill of health with the, with the doctors and the oncologists and everybody, and we walked back out to the parking lot and the car parked next to us had a license plate that said God hears. And it's just, it's the things like that, like you know, a lot of people will say, like it's a God wink, it's things like that is like so encouraging.
24:06
And the other thing that has been good that has come out of this is I have personally, in my circle, been introduced to four different women over the course of this year.
24:18
This is where our my feet are planted and, like, there have been women that either themselves, um, are going through cancer or their spouses, and it's been. It has formed a lot of relationships for me to where we can be support for one another and going through this, going through things that none of us wish we ever were going through or that we aren't currently going through. But God has just continuously brought women into my life this year and I feel like it's in some ways a mission field in a way, in a mission field that I maybe wouldn't sign up to be in. But this is where I am and this is where, if I can use our story and our experiences for other people, to be a resource, to be an encouragement to pray for it's. I want God to use me where we are, and so I do share this story with a lot of people because it is remarkable.
25:19 - Speaker 3
Yeah, like just being human. It's our common suffering that actually binds us together. So even as a family, when you're struggling together, it actually makes the bond stronger. And even the idea of like the band of brothers from the HBO I love that. Miniseries like men who go to war together and survive. They are lifelong brothers. So, yeah, I wish people understood that their pain is actually what's going to connect them to other people, man.
25:47 - Speaker 1
So good.
25:47 - Speaker 3
Thanks.
25:48 - Speaker 2
How are?
25:48 - Speaker 3
you, though, like today. How are you doing? Because?
25:53
I have a lot of mom friends I used to do children's ministry and then preschool and all my teachers were moms and like they're the only volunteers in the island, right, because they're not working. So, like when you are telling your story in my mind I don't know if anybody watching this understands you're literally caught between a rock and a hard place. Right, where your husband's the man you love, right, but then the love of a mother to their children is incomparable Because, from my understanding of men and fathers, they either love their wives or they only love their children. You don't have the flexibility to love both like a mom does, and so for you to like be in a position to like be provided for with your kids, so you don't have to think about it now and just be fully present, that's where I see God's like just ingenious duty.
26:48 - Speaker 1
Yeah, and I will say, like, in that moment where I had to make a decision between going and yeah, I mean I had to make that decision and I had just. This is what the Bible talks about, like the peace of God that surpasses all understanding I had such peace that I knew I could leave my kids with her. And even though I had just met her I didn't know her last name, I didn't know her husband, I didn't know anything about her but I had such incredible peace about it that I knew that I could leave them with her. Now, when I was driving back to the house, um, after I had been at the hospital I'm not going to lie there were moments where I'm like, if she had taken off with my kids, when would I have ever found them? And those are really, really scary thoughts to think. But God gave me such a peace and you know what else?
27:39
The other thing that I often reflect on that I don't feel like I've maybe given my kids enough credit is that they went with her. They didn't question me, they weren't nobody cried, they weren't scared. They had just witnessed the most scary thing that, even as an adult, is so hard to see, and as kids, they just watch their dad go through that. And then I left them with a complete stranger and the fact that my kids, that my three-year-old, went with her. I think there was peace for all of us.
28:11
And yeah, it's. It's really an incredible thing to think back on because, to be honest, I have neighbors I've lived next to for two years that I wouldn't leave my kids with, you know, but Sarah had such an incredible presence and she was so motherly and I just knew God gave me the peace that like they were going to be okay, you know, and I and I had to believe that too, because she had just come literally out of the dark running to help me, and so I I trusted that she would take care of them and she did. I'm glad you said that.
28:46 - Speaker 3
I think something that I'm learning more and more is like trust and belief is kind of the same thing, but you know, when you fully believe it, when you stop worrying, right, when you keep worrying, you're like I'm trying to believe, but it's like, uh.
29:02
And so I want to encourage you because something just even last night, this realization came to me that we should fully embrace all of our weaknesses. Because you worry, you run to the Lord, right? Because if you didn't worry, you might have just handled it differently. So I realized God perfectly gave us our strengths and our weaknesses, because it's our weaknesses that continues to drive us to him more and more and more, until we get confident of like, oh okay, I can just go to you whenever I want, I don't need to feel guilty. So I don't want you feeling guilty about being a warrior, because I realized the greatest fear I had was the fear of accepting myself as I am, even in my weaknesses. You know Like, oh, I shouldn't feel that way, or I shouldn't think that way. It's like now I believe, as long as I don't bring it out into the world and it hurts people, then you know, I think God just helps me work through it with him.
29:58 - Speaker 1
The other really cool thing and I'm going to try to pull up this picture, which I know that this is a podcast, so you're not going to be able to I'm going to show you. So. When I was leaving the hospital one night and just feeling so, the kids were with Sarah, I was leaving Rob in the hospital and I had to drive back and I just was so many things go through your mind at that moment where I just needed to hold everything together for everybody, you know, and I didn't really know what was going to happen next. But I walked out of the hospital. I'm going to pull up the picture here. But I walked out of the hospital. I'm going to pull up the picture here.
30:31
I walked out back down into the hospital lobby and there was this big sign. Can you read it? So, god, still there. I did the translation. It talks something about hand washing right, wash your hands. But when I read that I just thought, oh, you are still God. You are still God even though I'm scared to death and even though I am so overwhelmed and I don't know what's going to happen and all of the things. That was just a such a visual reminder for me that, like. God is still God and God is still good, even in our worst circumstances.
31:09 - Speaker 3
Have you noticed these signs before, or is it only after your Denmark experience you start to notice more of like these connections?
31:20 - Speaker 1
I feel like I've always kind of looked for things like this, maybe in like a comforting way. You know, I feel like people do that. Sometimes we're like, oh, we, you know, oh, this is a sign from God. This is, you know. I think we do that from time to time, but I think for me, in this Denmark experience, this was such a such an extreme that I was looking for God everywhere, because I'm like God has to be in this, because this is too much. Otherwise, this is, this doesn't even make sense. It's too much.
31:53
And one thing also is that, like my father-in-law right, so I they've known me for a long time.
32:00
I started dating Rob when I was 16. And so my father-in-law has known me for almost half my life, right, and he is not a believer and he'll tell you that he grew up Catholic. He has a lot of hurt from the Catholic church particularly, and just it doesn't want anything to do with it. And when I called him which was one of the worst phone calls I've ever had to make to tell them what was going on with Rob, but I told him the story about Sarah coming to help and coming in the dark, I said I don't know how you can deny God in this circumstance. I don't know how you can think God is not real when you hear this story, because only God, like that's the only explanation in my mind of of this unfolding, you know. So it's just been something that we've been able to talk through, you know, with people, and whether you're a believer or not, I feel like it. The story gives you definitely some things to think about for sure.
33:05 - Speaker 3
So the reason why I ask is because I've always noticed patterns too and coincidences, but I just kind of brushed it off and it wasn't until last year on this journey I was trying to seek the truth A funny thing happened, like I became more alive because I literally saw God everywhere, like you said, yeah, and it's like if you search him with faith, he kind of is everywhere, because he's like put Easter eggs everywhere. I'm just like mind blown now, and so my whole life now is like exciting, because I don't go look for these signs. They kind of just pop up and then it hits my heart. I'm like oh you're reminding me.
33:42 - Speaker 1
And isn't that something that, like we, so many things that we take for granted and that's something that else that I have really reflected on this year is how much in my life have taken for granted, like be able to walk out our front door every day and see God in the sunrise and the sunset and the birds in the sky and in your children, and we should be able to look everywhere through God and we kind of go through life on autopilot where we take so much for granted and we don't stop to look.
34:21
And how sad is that. And I have thought that so much this year of I need to be more aware of where God is and to be able to recognize him and see him and to thank him for all of the things Um, not just the big things that I'm, that I'm praying for if that makes sense, you know but like to be to have just a heart that is so incredibly grateful for what God has given us, all that he's given us, and not overlooking the everyday mundane things that we kind of brush past, you know.
34:58 - Speaker 3
It's like any special relationship. It's not the grand gestures that make it, it's the itty bitty little things every single day that they do that you're like there's still that same person that touches my heart, yeah exactly.
35:11
You want to know something crazy, crazy. I might edit this out. I've been having a lot of like edit this out moments. Yeah, yeah, yeah, even the things we remember. Like, if you think about it, like, why do I remember the things we remember? Like, if you think about it, like, why do I remember the things I remember? Right, because if you have, like Alzheimer's or dementia, that's literally a decay in your memory, right, and so we take for granted that I know myself. But no, no, no, no, buddy, only because your brain can retain certain memory that you hold this identity.
35:37
But once that goes, like my grandfather had dementia and it heartbreaking, but because for him he was just kind of living in different time periods, but for me it was like jarring, because he thought I was like five and twelve and so it made me challenge myself like man. I think I took for granted, I place way too much confidence in what I know, but what I know is actually just a memory, right, and if I ever lose that, I don't know what I'm going to do. So, like that's like more humbling and I'm like, okay, god, anything I remember, I'm going to trust that you help me remember and, like you said. For me, taking a thought captive is now oh, is this memory from you, right? Or is this something that I need to process and like let go? And that's been really helpful. Yeah, on a lighter note, how did you meet your husband?
36:29 - Speaker 1
Oh gosh, back in the days when AOL Instant Messenger was a thing, we were in high school. I was a sophomore, he was a senior. We grew up in the same small town outside of Portland Maine and we both played basketball and so we just kind of met through mutual friends that way and then we dated all through school. So his background is actually in oil and gas. He used to work out on oil rigs, so he would ship out for a month and then he'd be home for a month, um, and so we did that for about 10 years where he worked, and he worked all over the world uh, singapore, south korea, west africa, gulf of mexico. He was kind of all over, um, and so it was a really unique kind of lifestyle for us what was your aim?
37:16
uh screen names oh my gosh, isn't that such an embarrassing thing? I always said like this would be such a good um, like a party game. Like everybody, write your AIM screen name down and put it in a bowl and then figure out who had it. Mine was bballgirl4, and then the letter T 40. Because that was my number. Isn't that so funny? It makes me cringe, but that's what it is.
37:40 - Speaker 3
If your past doesn't make you cringe, it means you haven't grown up. What about your husband?
37:45 - Speaker 1
What was his? I think it was something like RJC 12 sport or something like that. Yeah, his was a little bit more generic than mine was.
37:54 - Speaker 3
So what was it about him that made you say yes?
37:56 - Speaker 1
That's a good question. He is a very, very, very selfless man and he does everything to take care of us, and I could recognize that in him very early on, and so we started dating, you know, and he went off to school pretty soon after that and we dated a long time before we got married. It was almost seven years actually by the time we got married. But it was really his character that drew me to him, his integrity and compassion, and he still holds all those qualities today, all these years later. But we feel very fortunate that we met at such a young age and we've had, you know, all this like kind of extra time together, because a lot of people don't meet their spouses until their 20, twenties or maybe thirties. You know, nowadays it's a little bit older, and so we were definitely young. I was 22 when we got married, so yeah, you did it right Getting married.
38:57
I feel very fortunate. Where are you actually? Where are you from? I'm just curious. Yeah, I'm from new york, from new york. Is that where you?
39:05 - Speaker 3
live still yeah, queens, uh, born and raised, uh, but I spent some time in philly because I went to seminary there for about five years and then I was in atlanta the last two years uh, yeah, just for cost of living during covid or like right after covid, and then I had to move back because I have to take care of my mom. She's fine, but my sister moved out and God really convicted me like you can't leave her alone. I was like, okay, fine, but oh, so now I remember. Thank you for that question. Yeah, what is like the biggest thing you learned about yourself? Because of your husband?
39:38 - Speaker 1
oh, my gosh that's a really big question that I should become a nurse.
39:47 - Speaker 3
No, I'm just kidding, no. So on a side note, I realize also I don't know if this applies to women, because I'm not a woman, but as a man, I realize I need to start learning how to laugh at my pain, Because when I do like, the aggression diffuses and I'm more calm and so I'm able to assess the situation more clearly. And I think part of the biggest problem is men don't know how to control their emotions, because they either hold it and burst out or like they try to cope. But I realize I just need to let it get through. And because I have a sixth sense of humor and I'm very self-deprecating too, like you said, so like I laughrecating too, like you said, so like I laugh too, I like make jokes and everything. So yeah, and I'll.
40:27 - Speaker 1
actually I will say that that's something that Rob has really taught me.
40:31
He's really good at like being lighthearted and kind of laughing at himself.
40:36
And I think me being like this like I said, I was a worrier and I was a child that had like a lot of just stress and anxiety.
40:47
I'm a perfectionist, so I wanted to do all of the things and achieve well, and Rob really taught me like you can't take life too seriously, you know like and to see the humor and to see the like that you don't have to be serious all the time and to like life is meant to be fun and lived, not just like grinding through every day. And so I feel like that is definitely one thing he has taught me over the you know, over the years is like you can't take yourself too seriously, you know, and you have to laugh. And it's kind of like what you just said. You know like the amount of times I have said this year that if I don't laugh I'm just going to cry. Like that's kind of the truth. Like you hit a point where I'm like I don't think I can take any more things going wrong, so I'm just going to laugh, because what else am I going to do? So that's definitely one thing.
Bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch and about 20 minutes later he wakes up in a very violent seizure. So this is the first time he's never had a seizure before. I have never seen a seizure, I've never witnessed this before, but I knew what it was. And so I panic, as I think anybody would do in that moment, and I'm trying to find my phone and, like I always have my phone on me somewhere and in this moment I could not find it. My poor kids are standing there just yelling, saying like is daddy dying, what's you know? And I'm like guys, help me find my phone. Hi, my name is Lindsay Connolly. I work for the MomCo by Mops International as the Northeast Network Manager. I am a mom to three kids. I live in Wilmington, north Carolina, and this is my Faithly Story.
00:48 - Speaker 2
Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast.
01:30 - Speaker 3
I always start by asking could you tell me a little bit about your faith journey?
01:35 - Speaker 1
I was very fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. Both of my parents loved the Lord and loved the Lord still, I should say that. And I grew up I was born in Massachusetts but really grew up in Maine, so Maine is home to me. And so my dad is actually a pilot and has been my whole life, and so I was raised in the church, you know, went through Sunday school, youth group and all the things, and when September 11th happened, you know my dad being a pilot as his career. You know he had just come home the day before from like a two week trip and I remember I was, I was in sixth grade when September 11th happened happened. And I remember laying in my bed that night after watching the news and processing what I could at that age and realizing, like the connection between what my dad does for work and what we were watching unfold, you know, in our country. And I remember laying in bed that night thinking if that had been me, where would I, where would I have gone? And even though I had grown up in the church my whole life, I had never really claimed my faith as my own, and so that was the night that I became a Christian and accepted Christ into my life and I just thought I believe in God, I love God. But I had never made that step, and so that was kind of my first little journey.
03:02
But then, as I got older, um, I went through some pretty hard college years. Um, my parents ended up getting divorced, um, while I was in college, which was really hard to navigate, um, even though I was kind of out of the house at that point, it was just, it was a big shock. It kind of like came out of nowhere, and so that was really hard. And I was away at school, I had gotten, I actually went to school initially and to play volleyball, and then I got injured and ended up with mono.
03:35
Just, it felt like so many things had happened. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and so in like three very short years, three to four years, it was just felt like one thing after another, after another, and it was hard. But it was really when I knew my faith was really. You know, this is like when your faith comes into play. You know and I had a pastor ask me, like Lindsay you know, sometimes when people go through things like this that are really hard, they actually turn away from God and they turn away from their faith because they they're like well, I don't understand why this would happen, and I said well, to be honest, like I see, I can understand where people come from, but I have to believe that there is such a more, greater good and that God has, is going to use all of these things in my life in some capacity and maybe to help other people, and that was really like what I clung to and so that was kind of my my college years.
04:35 - Speaker 3
Could I ask you something about that. Yeah, I mean, did people help you through those moments or you just kind of had kind of like this sincere trust that he was going to work through it?
04:47 - Speaker 1
I was really involved in campus ministry and so I was a part of a small group, a girl's Bible study on campus, I attended crew, and so all of that was just really instrumental. I did not do it on my own and thankfully my mom my mom is so strong in her faith as well and so she's such an encouragement. You know, even through all of those really hard times she was really kind of like a rock for me and my brother and sister too, and for all of us. So I stayed very tied into like attended church through college, was really really tried to get plugged in where I could because I knew.
05:28 - Speaker 3
I knew I needed that you know so, something I'm realizing more and more. Faith is a lived experience and once you experience like the goodness and the hope that comes from faith, like it becomes more real. I'm just curious as to, like, were there any moments along those years, while you're processing and working through it with people you know in the church yeah, Can you remember something that like was like like leading you through or pulling you through or helping you cling on?
05:56 - Speaker 1
So it's interesting, it wasn't really until I got older and I feel like this is maybe where you and I can pivot in the conversation, maybe a little bit. The most recent year of my life, the most recent 14 months I feel like I can answer that specific question, if that makes sense. Yeah, perfect, go, okay. So I got married right out of college. I married my high school sweetheart, rob. We have three kids. They're nine, seven and four, almost about to turn five. It's November of 2022.
06:27
We actually went on like a family kind of vacation, but it was a work trip. Rob had runs his own kind of his own business and so he had a lot of work in Europe to do, and so we took the kids for three weeks and we went to Europe, and so it's going to be like a big learning experience. We're going to travel with him and so we get over to Europe and our whole family gets the flu. It started with our daughter and it just kind of worked its way through everyone and Rob ended up being the last one to get the flu and at this point we were kind of on like the final week of our trip. We'd already been in Europe for two weeks.
07:07
We were in the final week of our trip and we were in Denmark and Rob called me from work one day and he said hey, I really feel bad, I need you to come pick me up. And so I go pick him up. And we were staying at a place that, when I say Great Wolf Lodge, do you know? Are you familiar with Great Wolf Lodge?
07:26 - Speaker 2
They are like an indoor.
07:28 - Speaker 1
Well, they're all over this was kind of like a Great Wolf Lodge of Denmark, let's say, big, like indoor water parks and all kinds of fun stuff for the kids and everybody. Instead of staying in like a hotel room, you stay in an individual house. So I bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch Everybody. Instead of staying in like a hotel room, you stay in an individual house. So I bring him to the house and he falls asleep on the couch and about 20 minutes later he wakes up in a very violent seizure. So this is the first time he's never had a seizure before. I have never seen a seizure, I've never witnessed this before, but I knew what it was.
08:06
And so I panic, as I think anybody would do in that moment, and I'm trying to find my phone and, like I always have my phone on me somewhere and in this moment I could not find it, my poor kids are standing there just yelling, saying like is daddy dying, what's you know? And and I'm like guys, help me find my phone. And so we run around the house. I finally find my phone and I blank and I'm like who do I call? I'm not in America. I don't even know the number. I don't even know where I am I don't even know the address of where I am right now and I go back over to Rob and he is still convulsing and he is gray, his face is gray, his lips are gray, and I just thought, like this is it? And I thought I he can't die in front of me and I'm Googling what to do, and so I did the only thing I could think of in that moment, which was to run out in the middle of the street in the dark. This is about probably 530, six o'clock at night and I run out in the street and I scream as loud as I can for help. And, by God, it felt instantaneous. And I heard a voice who heard me screaming and she, this woman, was out walking her dog, um, in the dark, and she heard me yelling. And so she comes running, um, comes into the house, she helps with Rob. He stopped convulsing, but he was unresponsive for about 20 minutes and so she's helping with him. She tells me how to call rescue, and so I, I call them and they can't understand my English, and so I hand her my phone and she speaks to them and tells them how to find us.
09:38
And so at this point my kids had all kind of dispersed throughout the house. Our daughter locked herself in one room, the boys were in another, and I thought I need to get all my kids together. And so I go get our daughter and I have to walk her past Rob, and I said, ok, you need to. I wanted to shield her. And so I told her you need to close your eyes, I'm going to go bring you to the boys. And so I put all my kids together and I go out in the street and I go to track down the ambulance.
10:05
And so the ambulance comes and as they, these two big, burly Danish men come in the house and at this point Rob had started to wake up a little bit, but he had no memory and he didn't know what had happened or where he was or anything. And I said, what's going on? Like, is he okay? And this woman who had come to help me, her name is Sarah. Sarah says, well, generally after a seizure, there's a period of short-term memory loss, and so and she starts rattling off all this information, and I just grabbed her arm and I said wait a minute. I said, are you a doctor? And she said, yeah, I am. And so the paramedics look at me and they said look, we need to take him to the hospital, but here's the deal they're not going to let your kids in because of COVID regulations.
10:52
And Sarah looks at me and she says she's like, no problem, lindsay, she had seen me carry my daughter across the house and she's like, I can watch your daughter for you, no problem. And I said, no, no, no, you don't understand. I have three kids here. And she's like, oh well, show them to me. And so I take her into the room where the kids are and she says, hey guys, she goes um, I have three kids at my house. They're seven, five and three. How old are you guys? And my kids were eight, six and three practically the exact same ages. And um turns out she had also just arrived on vacation that afternoon. They lived about an hour away. They're from Denmark, but they were from about an hour away. And she looks at me and she says, lindsay, no problem, I'll take the kids to my house, I'll feed them dinner and then I'll come back and put them to bed and I'll just wait for you.
11:38
And I walked back over to the paramedic and I said I'm about to leave my three kids in a foreign country with a complete stranger. Her kids spoke no English. I said to him, I said, is this incredibly stupid? And I'll never forget? He looked at me and he, like, put his hands on my shoulders and he's like you can trust her and she's a doctor and your husband needs you and so you need to come with us. And I had incredible peace about leaving them and so I left them with her. Our youngest didn't even have shoes. I was so frantic I couldn't find his shoes and she carried him to their house. We exchanged we couldn't even exchange phone numbers. We exchanged Facebook messenger on there so that we could communicate.
12:21
And so I followed the ambulance and it took us about two hours to get to the hospital because they took us to one and then we had to go to another. And when we went in they were like well, you're otherwise healthy, like if you were a European citizen, we would do more testing on you, but you should just follow up with your doctor when you get back to the US. And I remember asking the doctor I said if this happens again, what do I do? And she said well, you do what you did and you call rescue. And in that moment I screenshotted the phone number because I think I knew. I just had a gut feeling that I was probably going to need it. And so I brought Rob back home.
12:59
And three hours later he had another seizure. And so I called the paramedics again and the same two men showed up and came and brought him in. At this point they said, okay, well it's, you know, it's like two o'clock in the morning at this point. And so they said why don't you just come in the morning? And so the next morning I drive the kids to the hospital and I walk in at the same time as the, as the doctor did, and he said you have a brain tumor. And it's amazing what goes through your mind when you hear news like that. And he was really sick too. He had the flu and pneumonia, and so they said we're going to keep him for a few days to get him on some meds and get him healthy. And so he spent four days in the hospital and get him healthy. And so he spent four days in the hospital.
13:47
And that was the time that I got on the phone with Duke and I called and I said hey, I'm in Denmark, but I just found out this news and I need your next available equipment. And so, thankfully, my father-in-law jumped on a plane and flew over. I ended up leaving the kids with Sarah multiple times. She was absolutely incredible and I call her my Denmark, my angel from Denmark, because she brought us meals, she did grocery shopping, she did my laundry, she translated all of Rob's medical records from Danish to English, because nothing was in English. I still keep in touch with her to this day because she was absolutely amazing to care for my family and my kids as my own, and when you experience the kindness of a complete stranger like that, it is so life-changing. And so my father-in-law ended up coming over and we had a flight out.
14:39
About a week after this happened, we had a flight back to the US, and the night before, our son, our oldest son, ended up having a seizure.
14:47
And so, for the third time in five, six days, I had to call the paramedics again. Um, his ended up being stress induced based on what he had, everything he had witnessed. But um, that night before we flew back to the U? S, I had never felt so um alone and so defeated in my entire life and so scared Um, but also had never felt so loved by God as I ever had in that moment. Um, because for me to go running out in the street in such a moment of pure desperation and for it to feel so instantaneous that somebody was there, that somebody that God sent to be there in that moment, was incredible.
15:36
And so we got back to the US. I had him an appointment, a consultation, at Duke within two weeks and then two weeks after that, he had surgery to remove the tumor, which was right before Christmas of last year, and he's doing great today. It's incredible. I'm so, so grateful to the medical teams at Duke. We go every three months for like follow-up scans, but he's doing great. But such a such a life-changing year for us in so many ways, and to see the way that our church family, my mom's family, that people come alongside you in such dire needs is incredible, and only God can orchestrate the things that we have experienced.
16:24 - Speaker 3
Is your son, okay.
16:24 - Speaker 1
That's a lot of information.
16:27 - Speaker 3
No, no, I didn't want to ruin the story, yeah.
16:30 - Speaker 1
Yes, our son is fine. He his was like I said. His was purely stress induced and we had him checked out and evaluated, but it was trauma of of witnessing the seizures and that caused his pain.
16:47 - Speaker 3
Yeah, you feel like from your college years to now, because there's a gap right. Looking back, do you see how all those moments prepared you for this moment, or you haven't processed yet?
17:02 - Speaker 1
through college made me really think a lot and lean into my faith, and for that reason it was something that was still so important to me to be able to see good in bad situations, and I feel like that's what it taught me to be able to see the goodness of God in hard times, in desperate times, in times where you want to say like where are you, god, and why is this happening, but to be able to see how good and how faithful God is and what can be in what was my worst case scenario. You know, I feel like that's what it prepared me for, because even in all of the bad and all of the hard, we serve a God who is so faithful and so good and can bring good to all circumstances. And I really believe that and I feel like God has given us an incredible testimony to share with people on how faithful he is. And it's when I start to worry about, like, what could happen with this in the future. You know, because we don't know, there's a lot of unknowns right now for us, and so when I start to get too far ahead of myself and I want to go down the rabbit hole of worrying about things, I have to remind myself and this is daily, this is sometimes hourly I have to remind myself the ways that God showed up and has showed up and will show up Because, like I said, to be in a situation where I was so desperate that I resorted to running in the streets just hoping for help, and my thought being I'm going to run to whatever house I can find that has a car in it, you know. But for me to go out and yell and for a doctor, a mother, a mother of kids, my kids ages, for her to be the one that God had.
19:00
And you know, what's even more incredible about this is that Sarah, sarah, is not a believer. Sarah's family, she has a lot of family members who are believers, but Sarah is not. Sarah's in the medical field and over there she's like very science based Right, and so she said I don't really know what I believe. But she said to me a few months ago, because we still chat, and she said Lindsay, she said you know it, it's, it is.
19:30
It does seem like it's a miracle to me that I was there, because she said I wasn't even going to go walk the dog. She said we had just arrived to the house. We had just made dinner and dinner was ready and she said my husband and I kind of went back and forth whether we thought she said whether it was an appropriate time to walk the dog or not. She said I felt like I needed to and he thought we didn't. And so she said I finally just said to him I'm going to go walk the dog, I'll be back in five minutes, and in those five minutes is when all of this happened and our paths would have never, ever crossed had it not been for that.
20:09
You know and I don't see how you can explain that in any other way I don't believe in coincidences, but other than God that God had her there for that reason and it has opened such incredible doors for she and I to have conversations you know about, about God and about faith and um. So yeah, it's definitely life-changing, probably for the both of us. Honestly yeah.
20:36 - Speaker 3
So I'm coming to realize more and more people who are skeptical, or logical, or actually these people to convince because you just have to lead them toward the goodness of god. And the goodness of god is so like paradoxical because it feels so good but it's very opposite of what the world says it is, and so when people experience that, they're like they don't know what to do with their mind and a coincidence is just an unexplained pattern. But that's why you need faith, because then you think everything is just random and luck, or you can believe someone is actually in control and doing good for you. So I love that. And yeah, this morning, like something that's been running in my like this past year has been completely transformational too.
21:21
God said like man, you are supposed to be a warrior r, I mean w-a-r-r-o I'm a bad spelling, but you know what I mean. Right, a warrior, right Like strong. But then we created cities to protect ourselves from the elements and so we've gotten soft and now all we do is worry. So we are warriors, not warriors. And I was like, oh, that's pretty clever. And I'm realizing more and more this week actually that doubt isn't what kills faith, it's fear. Right, because the doubting will lead you to be afraid, and now you're acting in fear. So now you got like I got to do it, I got to do it, and then you realize you can't do anything. You need so much help, yeah. So thank you.
22:06 - Speaker 1
I'll tell you, like I'll be the first to admit, I have been a worrier probably my whole life. That is how I've been. It is my default and I'm not proud of it, and I know that's sin and something that I have cognitively and really prayerfully had to process through, and I have not figured it all out by any means. So I will give that disclaimer. This year has taught me all the stuff that I have worried about in the past that is so doesn't matter, you know, and like. The thing that this has taught me is to not, like I have to really really be aware of, like holding my thoughts captive and not letting myself get ahead of me, like I don't, I don't want to write a story in my head of something that might not happen, you know. And so this has been a year of God, being like Lindsay. This is, you can't worry about this anymore, because you know what if I, if I worried about this the way that I have other things in the past, this would bury me there. I wouldn't be able to to function, you know, and I know that. And so God has taught me like I have to really really just reflect on his goodness. I know I keep saying that, but I have to reflect on his goodness and the ways that he showed up and and just fill my mind with that, because that is what is getting us through, you know. And so one thing too that's been really cool is just the way God speaks through different things. We so, like I said, we go every three months to Duke for these follow-up scans, and so when we were there in October, we had gone in and, you know, got the clean bill of health with the, with the doctors and the oncologists and everybody, and we walked back out to the parking lot and the car parked next to us had a license plate that said God hears. And it's just, it's the things like that, like you know, a lot of people will say, like it's a God wink, it's things like that is like so encouraging.
24:06
And the other thing that has been good that has come out of this is I have personally, in my circle, been introduced to four different women over the course of this year.
24:18
This is where our my feet are planted and, like, there have been women that either themselves, um, are going through cancer or their spouses, and it's been. It has formed a lot of relationships for me to where we can be support for one another and going through this, going through things that none of us wish we ever were going through or that we aren't currently going through. But God has just continuously brought women into my life this year and I feel like it's in some ways a mission field in a way, in a mission field that I maybe wouldn't sign up to be in. But this is where I am and this is where, if I can use our story and our experiences for other people, to be a resource, to be an encouragement to pray for it's. I want God to use me where we are, and so I do share this story with a lot of people because it is remarkable.
25:19 - Speaker 3
Yeah, like just being human. It's our common suffering that actually binds us together. So even as a family, when you're struggling together, it actually makes the bond stronger. And even the idea of like the band of brothers from the HBO I love that. Miniseries like men who go to war together and survive. They are lifelong brothers. So, yeah, I wish people understood that their pain is actually what's going to connect them to other people, man.
25:47 - Speaker 1
So good.
25:47 - Speaker 3
Thanks.
25:48 - Speaker 2
How are?
25:48 - Speaker 3
you, though, like today. How are you doing? Because?
25:53
I have a lot of mom friends I used to do children's ministry and then preschool and all my teachers were moms and like they're the only volunteers in the island, right, because they're not working. So, like when you are telling your story in my mind I don't know if anybody watching this understands you're literally caught between a rock and a hard place. Right, where your husband's the man you love, right, but then the love of a mother to their children is incomparable Because, from my understanding of men and fathers, they either love their wives or they only love their children. You don't have the flexibility to love both like a mom does, and so for you to like be in a position to like be provided for with your kids, so you don't have to think about it now and just be fully present, that's where I see God's like just ingenious duty.
26:48 - Speaker 1
Yeah, and I will say, like, in that moment where I had to make a decision between going and yeah, I mean I had to make that decision and I had just. This is what the Bible talks about, like the peace of God that surpasses all understanding I had such peace that I knew I could leave my kids with her. And even though I had just met her I didn't know her last name, I didn't know her husband, I didn't know anything about her but I had such incredible peace about it that I knew that I could leave them with her. Now, when I was driving back to the house, um, after I had been at the hospital I'm not going to lie there were moments where I'm like, if she had taken off with my kids, when would I have ever found them? And those are really, really scary thoughts to think. But God gave me such a peace and you know what else?
27:39
The other thing that I often reflect on that I don't feel like I've maybe given my kids enough credit is that they went with her. They didn't question me, they weren't nobody cried, they weren't scared. They had just witnessed the most scary thing that, even as an adult, is so hard to see, and as kids, they just watch their dad go through that. And then I left them with a complete stranger and the fact that my kids, that my three-year-old, went with her. I think there was peace for all of us.
28:11
And yeah, it's. It's really an incredible thing to think back on because, to be honest, I have neighbors I've lived next to for two years that I wouldn't leave my kids with, you know, but Sarah had such an incredible presence and she was so motherly and I just knew God gave me the peace that like they were going to be okay, you know, and I and I had to believe that too, because she had just come literally out of the dark running to help me, and so I I trusted that she would take care of them and she did. I'm glad you said that.
28:46 - Speaker 3
I think something that I'm learning more and more is like trust and belief is kind of the same thing, but you know, when you fully believe it, when you stop worrying, right, when you keep worrying, you're like I'm trying to believe, but it's like, uh.
29:02
And so I want to encourage you because something just even last night, this realization came to me that we should fully embrace all of our weaknesses. Because you worry, you run to the Lord, right? Because if you didn't worry, you might have just handled it differently. So I realized God perfectly gave us our strengths and our weaknesses, because it's our weaknesses that continues to drive us to him more and more and more, until we get confident of like, oh okay, I can just go to you whenever I want, I don't need to feel guilty. So I don't want you feeling guilty about being a warrior, because I realized the greatest fear I had was the fear of accepting myself as I am, even in my weaknesses. You know Like, oh, I shouldn't feel that way, or I shouldn't think that way. It's like now I believe, as long as I don't bring it out into the world and it hurts people, then you know, I think God just helps me work through it with him.
29:58 - Speaker 1
The other really cool thing and I'm going to try to pull up this picture, which I know that this is a podcast, so you're not going to be able to I'm going to show you. So. When I was leaving the hospital one night and just feeling so, the kids were with Sarah, I was leaving Rob in the hospital and I had to drive back and I just was so many things go through your mind at that moment where I just needed to hold everything together for everybody, you know, and I didn't really know what was going to happen next. But I walked out of the hospital. I'm going to pull up the picture here. But I walked out of the hospital. I'm going to pull up the picture here.
30:31
I walked out back down into the hospital lobby and there was this big sign. Can you read it? So, god, still there. I did the translation. It talks something about hand washing right, wash your hands. But when I read that I just thought, oh, you are still God. You are still God even though I'm scared to death and even though I am so overwhelmed and I don't know what's going to happen and all of the things. That was just a such a visual reminder for me that, like. God is still God and God is still good, even in our worst circumstances.
31:09 - Speaker 3
Have you noticed these signs before, or is it only after your Denmark experience you start to notice more of like these connections?
31:20 - Speaker 1
I feel like I've always kind of looked for things like this, maybe in like a comforting way. You know, I feel like people do that. Sometimes we're like, oh, we, you know, oh, this is a sign from God. This is, you know. I think we do that from time to time, but I think for me, in this Denmark experience, this was such a such an extreme that I was looking for God everywhere, because I'm like God has to be in this, because this is too much. Otherwise, this is, this doesn't even make sense. It's too much.
31:53
And one thing also is that, like my father-in-law right, so I they've known me for a long time.
32:00
I started dating Rob when I was 16. And so my father-in-law has known me for almost half my life, right, and he is not a believer and he'll tell you that he grew up Catholic. He has a lot of hurt from the Catholic church particularly, and just it doesn't want anything to do with it. And when I called him which was one of the worst phone calls I've ever had to make to tell them what was going on with Rob, but I told him the story about Sarah coming to help and coming in the dark, I said I don't know how you can deny God in this circumstance. I don't know how you can think God is not real when you hear this story, because only God, like that's the only explanation in my mind of of this unfolding, you know. So it's just been something that we've been able to talk through, you know, with people, and whether you're a believer or not, I feel like it. The story gives you definitely some things to think about for sure.
33:05 - Speaker 3
So the reason why I ask is because I've always noticed patterns too and coincidences, but I just kind of brushed it off and it wasn't until last year on this journey I was trying to seek the truth A funny thing happened, like I became more alive because I literally saw God everywhere, like you said, yeah, and it's like if you search him with faith, he kind of is everywhere, because he's like put Easter eggs everywhere. I'm just like mind blown now, and so my whole life now is like exciting, because I don't go look for these signs. They kind of just pop up and then it hits my heart. I'm like oh you're reminding me.
33:42 - Speaker 1
And isn't that something that, like we, so many things that we take for granted and that's something that else that I have really reflected on this year is how much in my life have taken for granted, like be able to walk out our front door every day and see God in the sunrise and the sunset and the birds in the sky and in your children, and we should be able to look everywhere through God and we kind of go through life on autopilot where we take so much for granted and we don't stop to look.
34:21
And how sad is that. And I have thought that so much this year of I need to be more aware of where God is and to be able to recognize him and see him and to thank him for all of the things Um, not just the big things that I'm, that I'm praying for if that makes sense, you know but like to be to have just a heart that is so incredibly grateful for what God has given us, all that he's given us, and not overlooking the everyday mundane things that we kind of brush past, you know.
34:58 - Speaker 3
It's like any special relationship. It's not the grand gestures that make it, it's the itty bitty little things every single day that they do that you're like there's still that same person that touches my heart, yeah exactly.
35:11
You want to know something crazy, crazy. I might edit this out. I've been having a lot of like edit this out moments. Yeah, yeah, yeah, even the things we remember. Like, if you think about it, like, why do I remember the things we remember? Like, if you think about it, like, why do I remember the things I remember? Right, because if you have, like Alzheimer's or dementia, that's literally a decay in your memory, right, and so we take for granted that I know myself. But no, no, no, no, buddy, only because your brain can retain certain memory that you hold this identity.
35:37
But once that goes, like my grandfather had dementia and it heartbreaking, but because for him he was just kind of living in different time periods, but for me it was like jarring, because he thought I was like five and twelve and so it made me challenge myself like man. I think I took for granted, I place way too much confidence in what I know, but what I know is actually just a memory, right, and if I ever lose that, I don't know what I'm going to do. So, like that's like more humbling and I'm like, okay, god, anything I remember, I'm going to trust that you help me remember and, like you said. For me, taking a thought captive is now oh, is this memory from you, right? Or is this something that I need to process and like let go? And that's been really helpful. Yeah, on a lighter note, how did you meet your husband?
36:29 - Speaker 1
Oh gosh, back in the days when AOL Instant Messenger was a thing, we were in high school. I was a sophomore, he was a senior. We grew up in the same small town outside of Portland Maine and we both played basketball and so we just kind of met through mutual friends that way and then we dated all through school. So his background is actually in oil and gas. He used to work out on oil rigs, so he would ship out for a month and then he'd be home for a month, um, and so we did that for about 10 years where he worked, and he worked all over the world uh, singapore, south korea, west africa, gulf of mexico. He was kind of all over, um, and so it was a really unique kind of lifestyle for us what was your aim?
37:16
uh screen names oh my gosh, isn't that such an embarrassing thing? I always said like this would be such a good um, like a party game. Like everybody, write your AIM screen name down and put it in a bowl and then figure out who had it. Mine was bballgirl4, and then the letter T 40. Because that was my number. Isn't that so funny? It makes me cringe, but that's what it is.
37:40 - Speaker 3
If your past doesn't make you cringe, it means you haven't grown up. What about your husband?
37:45 - Speaker 1
What was his? I think it was something like RJC 12 sport or something like that. Yeah, his was a little bit more generic than mine was.
37:54 - Speaker 3
So what was it about him that made you say yes?
37:56 - Speaker 1
That's a good question. He is a very, very, very selfless man and he does everything to take care of us, and I could recognize that in him very early on, and so we started dating, you know, and he went off to school pretty soon after that and we dated a long time before we got married. It was almost seven years actually by the time we got married. But it was really his character that drew me to him, his integrity and compassion, and he still holds all those qualities today, all these years later. But we feel very fortunate that we met at such a young age and we've had, you know, all this like kind of extra time together, because a lot of people don't meet their spouses until their 20, twenties or maybe thirties. You know, nowadays it's a little bit older, and so we were definitely young. I was 22 when we got married, so yeah, you did it right Getting married.
38:57
I feel very fortunate. Where are you actually? Where are you from? I'm just curious. Yeah, I'm from new york, from new york. Is that where you?
39:05 - Speaker 3
live still yeah, queens, uh, born and raised, uh, but I spent some time in philly because I went to seminary there for about five years and then I was in atlanta the last two years uh, yeah, just for cost of living during covid or like right after covid, and then I had to move back because I have to take care of my mom. She's fine, but my sister moved out and God really convicted me like you can't leave her alone. I was like, okay, fine, but oh, so now I remember. Thank you for that question. Yeah, what is like the biggest thing you learned about yourself? Because of your husband?
39:38 - Speaker 1
oh, my gosh that's a really big question that I should become a nurse.
39:47 - Speaker 3
No, I'm just kidding, no. So on a side note, I realize also I don't know if this applies to women, because I'm not a woman, but as a man, I realize I need to start learning how to laugh at my pain, Because when I do like, the aggression diffuses and I'm more calm and so I'm able to assess the situation more clearly. And I think part of the biggest problem is men don't know how to control their emotions, because they either hold it and burst out or like they try to cope. But I realize I just need to let it get through. And because I have a sixth sense of humor and I'm very self-deprecating too, like you said, so like I laughrecating too, like you said, so like I laugh too, I like make jokes and everything. So yeah, and I'll.
40:27 - Speaker 1
actually I will say that that's something that Rob has really taught me.
40:31
He's really good at like being lighthearted and kind of laughing at himself.
40:36
And I think me being like this like I said, I was a worrier and I was a child that had like a lot of just stress and anxiety.
40:47
I'm a perfectionist, so I wanted to do all of the things and achieve well, and Rob really taught me like you can't take life too seriously, you know like and to see the humor and to see the like that you don't have to be serious all the time and to like life is meant to be fun and lived, not just like grinding through every day. And so I feel like that is definitely one thing he has taught me over the you know, over the years is like you can't take yourself too seriously, you know, and you have to laugh. And it's kind of like what you just said. You know like the amount of times I have said this year that if I don't laugh I'm just going to cry. Like that's kind of the truth. Like you hit a point where I'm like I don't think I can take any more things going wrong, so I'm just going to laugh, because what else am I going to do? So that's definitely one thing.
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