It Takes a Village - Vandalyn Kennedy

00:04 - Speaker 1 The focus now is that the village becomes the pool for the relational discipleship right that deacon in their 60s, you know, has a group that maybe they don't spend time in a small group but maybe they send a text, maybe they take them out to Starbucks. How are you doing? How's your devotion life? Send a text, maybe they take them out to Starbucks. How are you doing? How's your devotion life? So I would say to young youth leaders begin to catalyze, right those that you have, the resources that you have. Hi, my name is Vandalyn Kennedy. I am a youth leader, leadership strategist and an author and an itinerant minister. I now oversee and help to lead the young people of the six million member denomination of the Church of God in Christ. I work in youth development in both the profit and nonprofit sectors and I serve on the Interfaith Advisory Council for the New York City Public Schools Department of Education, as well as traveling for my own ministry. And this is my Faithly Story. 01:10 - Speaker 2 Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories Podcast. 01:51 - Speaker 1 Could, you tell me how your faith journey started. Okay, well, I was raised in church. From the time I can't remember. I was raised in church. I come from generations on both sides One, the Pentecostal faith on my mom's side, the Baptist faith on my dad's side and so we were raised in church myself, my three brothers, I'm the youngest of four and the only girl, and ever since I remember I was on the church pew, singing in the church choir, ushering in the church, being a youth speaker, directing the choir, and so I think my faith journey started in much more of a communal way than necessarily a faith, even though the faith I could articulate it and it was obvious that we were there for God and my home also was a home with prayer and we understood that we belonged to God and we were serving God. But the faith did not take root in me right away. It was more of a family, communal experience. 02:56 - Speaker 3 So Baptists and Pentecostals, from my understanding, are like cats and dogs. So how did that work? How did they meet and what was that home life like, with both different perspectives? 03:27 - Speaker 1 like cats and dogs. It's very similar, but almost I would say Pentecostals may say that they got a little upgrade when the Holy Spirit came and all of that. And it wasn't different in my home because the church that we went to was a Pentecostal church and my father who was raised Baptist, he converted and gave his life to Christ and was a part of our faith, community and tradition and so he was not pulling another way. We both went to the same church. He just had not been raised in generations of it, like my mom. 03:57 - Speaker 3 So what was your earliest memories about church and that environment? 04:02 - Speaker 1 My earliest memories are sitting on the pew with my parents. My earliest memories are my mom playing the piano at church, my dad singing in the choir and helping to lead the choir, then myself being in what we call the Sunshine Band. So when you turn two or three you were a part of the Sunshine Band, which was the little children's choir. And then me actually singing in church is one of the earliest memories. I sang my first solo at three years old, so I remember being in front of the crowd and all of that and how that went. And then the systems that were in my church were very structured right. So you had the children's choir and then you had Sunday school. That was a big thing. So I remember those groups that I was a part of that I went to, in addition to my parents' participation in the church. 05:03 - Speaker 3 So was there a moment where it kind of like hit you that like, oh, jesus is real. Or was it just like going with the flow? Because when I grew up in church, I just assumed God was real all the time, right, and so my crisis wasn't struggling with his realness, my struggle was okay, you're real, everyone says you're good, but why does my home life suck right? So like there was this tension of like I don't know why I exist, but I don't like my environment. So like I made like a deal in seventh grade like if I'm gonna keep living, you better have a plan for me, and then from there, kind of like everything happened. So for you, when was this like faith, kind of starting, forming and becoming your own? 05:45 - Speaker 1 Wow, great question. I think that the faith formed I knew God was there. Like you said, I knew God was real. I knew we had to serve God In my context, heaven and hell very big and so there was a lot of the fear of going to hell. And so we grabbed a hold to faith early on so that we would not go to hell. But I'm not sure that was faith, it was fear. And so we, of course, I confessed because I wanted to be right and they would show us these movies about the rapture and people you know being taken up and people being left, and it was very scary, and so that was a form of faith. Of course, like I said, it was based in fear, but I gathered for myself and said that I was saved. But my real formation faith came after college. 06:36 I went to school and I went to college when I was 16 years old. I went to a very liberal college, sarah Lawrence. I came from a very strict Pentecostal upbringing. When I got to the college campus, I knew church but I did not know God, and so when I was challenged with things like smoking weed, you know, taking other drugs, smoking weed, you know, taking other drugs, just drink everything that I possibly could do. I went into those things because there was nothing stopping me. Plus, I was too young 16. And so I really kind of got myself into a bad situation and by the time I was 17, I had a cocaine addiction on campus, like an addiction, and so, you know, things just began to kind of spiral and get crazy and I came home from school and I was just out of control and I really didn't want to be saved or give my heart to Christ. By that time I was really studying a lot of, you know, black nationalism and I thought I was a Black Panther. I really thought that Christianity was more was geared toward, not geared toward, black people, was geared toward, not geared toward, black people, that it was a tool that was used of oppression during slavery and that it was not for Black people. And so it was not only the things that I was into, but it was also that belief that kept me from wanting anything to do with it. 08:19 Long story short, I went to a service I had been singing with my brother's community choir. I wasn't saved, or I hadn't really given my heart to Christ, but my brother had a choir and they would travel all around the world and I could sing, and so I would come down from my college and I would sing, and by the time I left college I would sing with them much more. And I just noticed this group of young people. They were high school and college students who loved God, who were serving God, and I stayed around them and stayed around them and I was just like, ok, they're not corny, you know, because growing up it's like, oh, the corny kids are saved, you know. I was like they're not corny, ok, they seem that. And they begin to grow on me and I begin to kind of entertain. 09:07 And then I went to a service one day. It wasn't at my home church and I really wasn't planning to, but I sensed the spirit of the Lord and at the time I didn't have a relationship with God. So I know it was God say to me you've tried everything else, why not try me? And you know, I went to the altar and I confessed and I gave my life to Jesus and this is where it's been ever since. 09:40 - Speaker 3 It's funny because when you're mentioning the liberal agenda against Christianity, yeah, I don't think, sense, absolutely, absolutely. So fascinating question how did you get into college at 16? 10:08 - Speaker 1 And second, why did you want to go to college at 16? Well, my parents were very education oriented and so, probably by I don't know five, I knew I was going to either an Ivy League institution or Seven Sisters School. They were very big on education, education in church. That's where our focus was, and so it just happened I think I started school early and then I got skipped. So those two things made me go at 16. You know, at that time you didn't hear about a gap year, right. When you graduated high school you went to college, and so it wasn't even a thought I was going to college. 10:47 - Speaker 3 Your parents were okay, you going to such a liberal school. 10:50 - Speaker 1 They were. Well, my father wasn't. He didn't like it. As a matter of fact funny story when we got to the campus, my father was 20 years older than my mom and my father had me when he was 58 years old and so he was old, old school. So when he got to the campus and dropped me off and saw that my dorm was co-ed, he told them I could not stay and my mother had to talk. I really thought I was going to have to pack up and leave. He was not playing. He was like what is this? This is not how it was when I was growing up. So he finally allowed me to stay, but under protest. 11:31 But yeah, my mom was much more interested in the quality of the institution, and that's also something that I tell parents now as I work in youth ministry. Really pray about where you're sending your child and don't make the priority necessarily on what you want in an institution, because they're going to spend probably four years there. That could really affect their lives. And so many times I hear about young people and even working with young adults and hearing about them on Christian on college campuses and finding their Christian community. There was no such thing. It was like devil central, and so I would to do differently. I definitely would have prayed as a parent to see if that's where I should send my child. Yeah, but most of those institutions at that time, and even now, are very liberal. You know the Ivy League and the Seven seven sisters. 12:25 - Speaker 3 they're liberal institutions so where did your life journey, faith journey, go from after this conversion? 12:32 - Speaker 1 well, I came back to my home church and the tradition that I'm in, I would say, holds a lot on gifting, um, and they could see, obviously, the hand of God on my life. But I came back and I was serious because, remember, I had addiction, I had a lot going on. So I really God really really saved me and made himself known in my life. And so I came back and they put me to work because I was a young person who was there when the doors opened, who was there when every prayer meeting. I was there because I was very serious about Christ and they interpreted it as oh, she's ready for ministry. I was not ready for ministry, but I got thrown into ministry. And you know, hey, I guess it was God's will for my life. But I would do things a little differently because I find that we have a generation that is very gifted but has not been discipled, and then you're going to meet it somewhere up the road. You're going to bump into a wall if you don't have that foundation of faith and submission and discipleship. And so I was doing everything, and at a young age. I seem to have something on my life for doing things at a young age but I was leading people that were twice my age and I just everywhere. I went college wherever, I was always a leader Church and I began to be, you know, over the music department. I was the minister of music at like 25 years old for the church and I had a church with. I didn't have a small church, we have a cathedral, right. 14:14 I eventually became leader of the youth department, and so that's how my journey went, and then we would have something back in that time in our tradition called testimony service. I don't know if you've heard of that, and so at the beginning of service, instead of praise and worship, years ago, you would have testimony service and for that 20 minutes people would just jump up and they would be standing waiting for their turn and you'd have a leader who would tell them who's next and they would probably sing a song you know when I think of the goodness of Jesus, or whatever the song is and then they would testify giving honor to God, who's the head of my life. I thank God. God has brought me through, god has this week, I was healed, or whatever. It is right. It's a testimony of overcoming, and so of course, that would ignite the faith of the congregation and that was the praise and worship and we would end up praising God and all of that. So I would testify and because I was animated and they would say anointed but I wasn't auditioning for anything, I was just so happy that God saved me. And so they would be like she's a preacher, oh, she's ready to preach. 15:24 And before I knew it they started putting me up to preach. And so I would get up to preach and, not knowing what was really happening, I would just out of my devotion, you know, I would just share out of my devotion. And then my bishop at the time, my pastor he says you're bootlegging, you need a license. So then I get, yeah, that was popular. So then I get a license and then I'm a missionary and then, oh, it's time, now you become an evangelist. I didn't know what was happening, but it was all happening very quickly, and so I'm speaking locally and then the word gets out, and then I start speaking, you know, in other churches in our fellowship, and then I start speaking at, you know, churches in our denomination, and then in the city of New York, and then other states, and now it's 2024 and I have left my I like to say six-figure job working for the New York City public school system. I stopped that in 2011, I think it was and I've been in full-time ministry since. 16:35 - Speaker 3 I just want to say it's so refreshing to hear someone be honest about their past in a different perspective, without drinking the Kool-Aid Like I grew up like quasi-Aid, like I grew up like quasi charismatic, but then I went to like a very reformed seminary and I, looking back, I think like because, as like like a teenager or even a young adult, you only know what you've been exposed to, right, and you think like that's your whole world. So like when people tell you like this is it or this is the former Christianity, you kind of take it in. But as you get older and you meet different people and different expressions, you're just like, oh, it's one way to express it, and these are the people that kind of got together and agreed upon this thing. But when I look at it now it's like it wasn't the thing that they said, but I understand why they said it. And with you like, oh, yeah, like they said it was all these things. 17:31 But you're just like I just got happy being saved and like I just want to be here and it was so refreshing to be like, oh, to you it wasn't what they think, but like it was so genuine, so like I appreciate you sharing that. So what would you have done differently? If so, let's say, someone in the pentecostal charismatic environment gets thrown in because a lot of them do right, how would you advise them to like navigate that right, instead of saying not doing it? It's like, how would you guide them to like I don't know, like what were some of the pros and cons for you? 18:04 - Speaker 1 say it's, it's so funny. Sometimes, I would say, well, it's good, they did that, because now I am living saved, and I have a quote unquote reason because I'm in ministry, but I think that a reason to live holy and righteous, and because I'm an example, and I have to make sure that I'm. But that's, that's not right. Right, because that's putting ministry over God, and then we we make idols out of what we're doing, as opposed to who we are, and so I would set up well, if I was the leadership, obviously I wouldn't do that, but if I was a person thrown into that, I would set up my own systems of accountability people as well as structures whether I'm here or an older, somewhat older in the faith, but then also systems. 19:04 I should have gone to Bible school. I should have had some kind of course or some kind of training and some kind of system of growth. Another thing a system of discipleship, like who's checking in to make sure that I'm reading my Bible, that I am praying, that I am, you know, giving my heart and submitting to God. I would set those things up in my life. The trick is, though, that when you're young and you're getting these opportunities, who wants to do that. Who wants discipline Right? And so if you are young and you find yourself in that situation, I would say you have to do those things so that later on you don't end up with a crisis of faith or ministry or in a scandal or just having issues that could have been avoided. 19:55 - Speaker 3 Yeah, the words that's coming into my mind is like when Paul says like running this race is like an athlete right. To my mind is like when Paul says like running this race is like an athlete right. 20:03 There's a lot of athletes out there that try to like coast on their talent but then they hit that like wall of like these other guys like I might be better skilled than them, but they have longevity in a career, you know, because they've mastered the fundamentals and they know how to take care of all the other stuff, not just just the doing. Yeah, that's great. I get a sense that you have this huge heart for the youth. Where does that come from? 20:27 - Speaker 1 I do youth ministry and now youth leadership training out of what I did not have, because, although we had youth leaders in the church, there was no one that I feel like I could talk to. Remember, my parents were older. I had these three older brothers. I was this girl, I was the youngest in this church. That was you're going to hell, you're going to hell. So I think if I had someone that I could relate to, that could hear me, that I could trust, that could correct me, that could also break down the tenets of the faith and walk with me on a level that I could understand and receive, it would be a lot different. And so I don't want young people becoming the robots and the products of just a community, and so that's why I do youth ministry, and so I was a youth pastor for years, and now my focus has shifted. 21:26 I'm still in youth ministry. However, I'm not in the day-to-day with young people. I'm not teaching Bible study and visiting schools. I help to oversee the youth and young adults of the denomination. But also one of the things that I love, that I'm so passionate about, is training youth leaders and assisting youth leaders, because I understand the exponential value that comes when I can pour whatever I know, I've learned or got to share with me into others who can then pour into others who can then affect young people and even more leaders. So that's where it all comes from. 22:06 - Speaker 3 So I was a youth pastor for a little bit. It was fun, but it's exhausting because they don't listen and like you're not their parent. So for you, how do you navigate having these relationships but also discipling them? And the reason why I ask is because I feel like a lot of pastors, they have this cookie cutter formula, you know, and so it's like, oh, you just kind of like go through this training and then you're good, rather than everyone kind of needs like their own program and their own thing and like you need to guide individually. Like I don't think Jesus had had this curriculum for the disciples. He related to them one by one. So for you, what does that look like? How does that play out and what is some advice you can give young youth pastors? 22:52 - Speaker 1 That's great. Like I said, I'm not in the day to day anymore, right, but there's some principles that will never change. I am big on research. Of course we know that statistics don't keep God from moving right, but God also calls us to be strategic in what we do and to study, and so I do a lot of research with Barna Black Millennial Cafe, dr Brianna Parker does great data for the Black Church and you know GLU. 23:23 I do a lot of listening to what's happening and the main thing that has not changed since I was a youth pastor and the thing that I mentioned a few minutes ago that I wish I had had is relational discipleship. Next is Fuller Youth Institute, dr Carol Powell, is they have a mission to reach 10 million students in the next 10 years and that is the main focus of that helping youth leaders with relational discipleship. Of course it's going to change in every context because it is exhausting right, and there are some places that don't have a large budget, maybe have a bivocational leader, and it becomes a lot right for the youth pastor to disciple and have relationships with every young person. But the focus now is that the village becomes the pool for the relational discipleship right that a deacon in their 60s, you know, has a group that maybe they don't spend time in a small group but maybe they send a text, maybe they take them out to Starbucks. How are you doing? How's your devotion life? 24:38 So I would say to young youth leaders begin to catalyze, right those that you have, the resources that you have. Have your senior pastor, because many senior pastors say, oh, I don't have a lot of time for youth ministry. It needs to be a priority from the pulpit and it may not be a priority in the budget you know times are rough but they can take maybe two minutes on a Sunday and highlight a young person or highlight a program that the church is going to embrace the young people around. And so I would say, focus on relational discipleship and, however, you have to divvy that out Right, like Moses God told Moses, this is too much for you, right. Get these wise men, get them to help you and divvy this thing up. 25:24 - Speaker 3 And so that's how I would encourage younger youth pastors, Because I do know some unhealthy patterns where youth kids are completely dependent on the pastor. But this pastor is like 20-something, so that's not good. This is codependent relationships and other churches are just like, oh, parents have to do everything, and then parents feel pressured because they have a house and a job and a life and then they got to add all this. So I totally agree with you, this village model. But how would you advise or encourage, like hey, we need to get parents involved, but like we also need to help parents? 26:10 - Speaker 1 I think they are part of the village. They're not outside of that village and I think sometimes people don't know what to do, right, I think? And of course you can't tell people what to do in their homes, but I think something simple, like I gave the example of the pastor, that's like I want to prioritize. I don't have time Five minutes on a Sunday telling the church what you're going to get. That's prioritizing right. 26:35 And so giving parents the option having a tool right, because it's all about our tools Having a tool that could help parents study the Bible with their children, or giving them what to do, like a step-by-step, and then they can contextualize it, they can make it work for their schedules, but making sure that there is faith formation and discipleship in the home as much as you can. So there are so many tools out there and 10X has one. I'm not plugging them, I don't work for them, they just. I am just blown away by what they've been able to do and the tools that they've been able to offer. And so I think, finding tools to help parents, give it to them and then let them go from there, and then giving opportunities, maybe in church, rewarding those families that you know in the church context that are doing it well and they can model that for other people. 27:36 - Speaker 3 So what do you do day to day now? 27:37 - Speaker 1 Day to day. I just got back from London because I helped to oversee the youth and young adults and the youth leaders for our denomination, so that could take me anywhere. We're in over 120 countries and so doing that also, developing programs and working with the youth leaders to help reach our young people so that's everything from technology to programming, to meetings, to that's all a lot. I'm also an itinerant minister, and so before I got in this role for the Church of God in Christ, I had a pretty full schedule going around and preaching, and then I also have a company called Bridging the Gap where we facilitate leadership trainings for organizations and individuals, and so that is a passion of mine and so that's my business. And when I can, I vacation and yeah, that's what I do. 28:43 - Speaker 3 What is it like being an itinerant preacher? Because I think you know like outside, looking in, it seems glamorous, but like inside out, people don't realize. Like travel scheduling, living in a suitcase sucks, Like there's like trade-offs, so for you like, yeah, what was the joys and the sorrows of being a tenor preacher? 29:03 - Speaker 1 On the other side of this camera. I have three suitcases in the floor. I have one from where I was, I have one from where I was before that and then one where I'm going, and so it's a lot. It's a lot and it's a lot over time. I've been doing this basically full time since 2011 or so. 29:23 Yeah, the travel is a lot. It's a lot of wear and tear on your body In a different city, sometimes three, two, three times a week. There are times I wake up I don't know where I am. The other day I had a hotel key and they were like, okay, where are you going? I was like 23rd floor, but that was the hotel that I was in the night before, and so I'm like, oh, no, 17. And that was the one from the city before, and so I just have all these keys in my bag and so, yeah, there's a lot to it. Airports and you know, not eating the best because you're on the road, you have to eat whatever is there. So, yeah, it can be a little challenging, but it's also rewarding in that I can and I like to go places again. I like to see, like, where people are again and I like to see the transformation. Of course, you can't see it as up close as if you were there, but I do. I do like that. I like moving around. 30:24 - Speaker 3 You sound like St Paul. 30:25 - Speaker 1 Lord, don't let my ending be like his. Yeah, yeah. How did you get connected with Church of God? Church of God in Christ? I was born into it. 30:37 - Speaker 3 That's the denomination you grew up in. 30:39 - Speaker 1 That's the denomination the Church of God in Christ. 30:41 - Speaker 3 And so you kept in touch and they just had an opening or they knew you Like. How did you get into this role? 30:46 - Speaker 1 That's a great question. In the Church of God in Christ, it's almost like a moving up system. So remember, all this time I'm doing these things, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm just doing them. I'm a minister of music and then I'm a youth leader and then I'm going to. So you know you're going, we have conventions every, we have several conventions every year, and then we're broken up into. We have the local church, then there's the district, then there's the jurisdiction, then there's the region, then there's the national and international church. So all of these areas are areas where I began to work. So I worked on the local level, then the district, then the. 31:25 So before I knew it, I was working in the national church, again still not knowing what I'm doing, just coming to the conventions doing what I do. And, long story short, I would be pulled for the. We want you to do this, we want you to do that. Things I never even knew existed, things I never even thought I could do, things I never thought I'd be considered for yeah, and so, before I knew it, it was. This is what we want you to do. But because they had seen my history, they had seen what I'd done and asked me if I would consider it. 31:56 - Speaker 3 And this is something you see doing for the rest of your life, or like it's transitional, absolutely not, definitely not for the rest of your life, or like it's transitional, absolutely not, definitely not for the rest of my life. 32:04 - Speaker 1 I enjoy empowering leaders. I enjoy ministering to and working with young people. Um, but definitely not for the rest of my life. I'll always be in some kind of work with youth ministry until I you know I'll 90, like with my cane helping to facilitate, you know, pushing youth leaders out. You know I'm not directly involved in that way, but I just that's how passionate I am about it because I really feel like if we help them we will be blessed. It's not about the next generation. These, these young people are leading while we're here generation. These young people are leading while we're here. They're not just leading themselves, they're going to be leading us and so we've got to make sure they're invested. So, no, not for the rest of my life. 32:57 In my denomination, people have been known to be in roles for a long time, if that's what they choose. But I see different ways that God has allowed me to come in, build and then move out. You know, when I was the minister of music, when I was youth pastor, all of those roles I resigned from because I felt like it's at a place now that I've been able to train someone else up and move out and so many times the organization does not like that because they want to be able to trust. But succession for me is big. From the day I took this role I was already identifying. Of course it's up to the church who they choose, but I'm always making sure that they know everything that goes on how I'm doing it, how we build and how they can continue the work. 33:42 - Speaker 3 Yeah, that's something that the church is like. I think they lack an understanding of what succession looks like until it's too late or they're forced to. I always said I always want to leave when things are good and not things are bad. And most people leave when things are bad. That's right. And then they get confused. Like why are you leaving? You leave him. Like I don't want to do this is this is a job, this is an assignment. I was faithful to the lord and I'm moving on because lord knows I love vacationing too and that's all I want to do for the rest of my life. But I'm with you, man, yes, no, because I'm laughing, because this was a thought I had this morning. So the fact that you brought it up, I feel like we're in sync in this podcast. It's so crazy. Yes, okay, I kind of have like a personal question now for you. How does a smart girl like you at 16 get sucked into drugs, alcohol and all that in college? Like what was the thing missing for you that you were seeking? 34:37 - Speaker 1 I think the thing that was missing other than being too young because obviously there's an age situation that you know really is a factor to making decisions and you know but I think identity. I think it was a lack of identity. I think there was nothing in me although I know God was there, my parents were very strict, so I knew my parents were there but there was really nothing in me that said you can't do this because you are a chosen generation, you are a royal people. There was nothing in me. It was like, okay, I'll try it. It was nothing in me. It was like, okay, I'll try it. So I think, a lack of identity and maybe, if I were to put on my psychology hat, maybe I would say a lack of self-esteem, because when you know who you are and you know what you're worth, you don't do things like that. Also, I would say this also a lack of I'm going to use this term education, and I don't mean formal. 35:45 I went to the best schools, private. I went to the best schools in New York, but I never knew about drugs. No one ever talked to me about drugs, ever. I didn't know that. You know. I guess in the back of my mind. 35:53 I knew it was a bad thing, but I did not know what drugs really were, what the effects of drugs were, yeah, and then, remember, I also came from a very strict home, so I also was free. It was like letting horses out of the gate, right. So when it came to things like, you know, going to clubs I had never been to a club I was like, wow. As a matter of fact, I think by the time I got to college I don't even know if I had been to the movies. If I had, it was one time, because that was how strict the upbringing was. So I would say a lack of education with these things, a lack of exposure to these things, because if you know about them, then they're not so shiny. It's like this is what this is, this is what's going on, and then you can see it and say, oh okay, I know, that's not, I had no clue about any of it. 36:44 - Speaker 3 So all of that so that brings up a very fascinating conversation, because I am now thinking through like it's so much better being completely honest with your kids, but at an age, appropriate way, right? So so, like, I'm still trying to figure this out, so I'm going to ask you, because I feel like you're way smarter than me, how would you go about, like, introducing these things? Right, because there's something about novelty in our brains that, like our brains light up, like what is that right? Like as a kid, right, the thing is like because we really don't know what good and bad is. And even thing is like because we really don't know what good and bad is. And even for me, like my parents said, this is good, this is bad. So like, for example, my mom would be like you can't get a girlfriend, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, and so fine, right After college, she's like when are you getting married? I'm like, wait, you can't swim. Like a skit show, like from like, like a schizo, like from one to another like there's this progression and I feel like that was a detriment for my generation. 37:45 So, like, how would you go about? And even helping parents to understand, like, yeah, there's an unknown and a fear that when you expose this, it might bring out an addiction that they might have. But don't you want to know before so that you know how to handle it? Because I feel like we don't really teach kids how to have self-control. It's like self-control is just no and just be blind to it. So, like, how would you try to like change that? 38:09 - Speaker 1 I think that this world has exposed so much, and children are exposed to so much, that I think there should be nothing that we feel like we cannot deal with at this point, because someone is dealing with it and then at a certain point, it's their friend circle that is most influential in their lives and you would be remiss by not doing it. I think the power I don't have the answer but I think the power of story. I think story is very powerful, but I think the power of story, I think story is very powerful. I don't think. I think that's why we like these things, like Humans of New York. 38:56 But you know, it's like you get people's. They learn more through, they like to learn more through not lecturing, but podcasts, right, so we know that right, and so that has to do with conversation and story. People are telling their stories, they're talking about their lives and they're learning through that right. Even myself, I can't tell you how much I've learned. I love listening to preaching, but how much I've learned about people and I'm nosy by nature. So I love podcasts because I get to hear people's stories. But I think the power of story, stories, but I think the power of story and exposing them to story, you know what happens when you hear of a person who was lost everything, who was a businessman or some kind of had some high role and they had a drug addiction and it took their lives down and they lost their children and they lost their family. 40:00 Like that would be sticking my mind much more than my mother saying don't do that Right. I'd be thinking about that Like, oh my gosh, am I going to be like that man? And so I think, finding stories and creative ways for them to see examples of what it is we want to do. You know, teen pregnancy. There's shows that have you know talk about now, about I don't remember, I don't know what they're all called, but you know where these kids are, like 14 with babies, you know, and they see how hard it is. I think that's kind of behind that whole experiment that they used to do in high schools, remember, where you had to take the kid home for like a week and take care of it. So experiential things, whether it's through story exposure, letting them hear and experience the result of their decisions. 40:53 - Speaker 3 Yeah, that was great. I completely agree. Last two questions what are you hoping for at Faithfully? 40:58 - Speaker 1 I hope that there is a connection at Faithfully. I hope that this really takes off and that it is a base that people can come and connect with each other but also get things that they need need. There are times that you might need a youth leader training. You may not know where to go, and so I think this is perfect. I have a mantra with the organization I used to work with and I see you all have a play on that too and we used to say youth ministry is hard, you don't have to do it alone, and so I think making sure that people know that this is a resource and a place that they can come to be connected and to find what they need to resource them in ministry. 41:51 - Speaker 3 And lastly, how can we be praying for you? 41:53 - Speaker 1 That's great. I have a few transitions coming up, so many projects, books and conferences and this and that and that I've been working on, and I just want to complete the work that God has given me and that I am in purpose and not, as we spoke before, about just doing what I do and having people pull for me because I can do it. I've found that in times past sometimes that has kept me from my purpose because of what I could do for others. So not disconnecting from my own journey and showing up for myself in the ways that I show up for others would be very helpful. Yeah, yeah. 42:37 - Speaker 3 All right, thank you. This was eye-opening for me. Yeah, it was refreshing. Thanks for being on the podcast thank you, danny bye guys bye-bye. 42:46 - Speaker 2 Thank you for tuning in to the faithly stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The faithly stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly Podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.