Letting Go of Religion - Godfrey Moye

00:01 - Speaker 1 When you get rid of all the religion, the do this, do this, get up, sit down, like you know, get rid of all those things and you like who is God? What did Paul say? You know about praying, about praying in the spirit, praying over people. We wrestle, not against flesh and blood. Well, if we're wrestling not against flesh and blood, I mean there's something we need to fight, and well, you know, spiritually fight against and for. And so it went from just you know, I'm a Christian, I go to church, I'm a good person. To no God has sent us into this world to impact the world. Hi, my name is Godfrey Moye. I'm a youth minister at Lower Manhattan Community Church and this is my Faithly Story. 00:43 - Speaker 2 Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys through their ministry work and everyday life. Join us as we delve into their challenges, moments of encouragement and answered prayers. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. Learn more at faithlyco. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired as we unveil the heart of faith through stories from the front lines of ministry. On the Faithly Stories podcast. 01:25 - Speaker 3 Could you tell me how your faith journey started? Well, journey. 01:30 - Speaker 1 I'll be honest. I started very early. My parents brought me to church. I grew up in church essentially my whole life. That I can remember, and my best friend to this day is someone I met at the church I was at. 01:43 I actually, though, born in Brooklyn, new York, I was actually raised in Alaska, and I went to a predominantly all black church in Alaska, I know, and so, yeah, I grew up in church my whole life, sang in the kid choir and was a usher, a little kid child usher, and so that was always part of my life. All I knew was church, and we were one went to a very, I guess you'd call religious church. We went to church about three days a week. So it was a big part of my life, but I, when I I remember if fully accepting Christ, like when I said, yes, I make I'm coming forward to to this stand, I was 16, actually, I always wanted to, I always knew I was going to. I think I just remember distinctly making the decision at 16 and feeling there was a complete change in me as far as how I wanted to be presented and how I communicate with others. 02:42 - Speaker 3 Was there a moment when you were 16 or were you going through stuff Like what at 16? 02:47 - Speaker 1 No, I think again. I was in church every week, every Sunday, every Sunday night, but I'm in high school at this time, I'm in Virginia at this time now I'm no longer in Alaska and I think the pastor you know made the. You know I went to the traditional church which I know the pastor you know made the. You know I went to the traditional church which I want notifications off went to a traditional church where they would make an altar call or whatever, like you want to accept Christ today. And I remember just feeling in my gut like this is the time, like this is the time. And so I just remember coming up and saying the prayer of faith and yeah, yeah, yeah, if there's something I knew I was going to do, I just decided that day, just felt like no, this is the time. 03:34 - Speaker 3 It's funny that you mentioned choir, that I I also went to church like three times a week, sometimes like five times a week. 03:41 - Speaker 2 And. 03:41 - Speaker 3 I was part of the children's choir and the funny story about the children's choir is like I was the first boy and only boy for a while, because it was all girls and none of the guys wanted to do it and then my mom kind of forced me and but looking back, like that's how I got into music and like to read music, so I was like really grateful for that, so like for you same, same, same. 04:02 - Speaker 1 Uh, that's actually I'm so glad. You asked actually, um, I remember crying because, um, I was, uh, I had my best friend, we were singing and then the choir director's like you know what? God for you, you're right now you're an alto and this is you know, I'm you know 10, 11, 12. I was like alto, but the girls are the altos and I remember crying about it. But now I'm so grateful she did that because I can sing pretty high now still. So, yeah, leading worship is something I will forever do. 04:34 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm an alto too. They said my voice was too high, yeah. So what was Alaska like growing up? 04:45 - Speaker 1 Well, winters were cold, but it was great. I grew up in a very woodsy area. I grew up it was a dirt road to get to my house. Now I will say, although I did go to a predominantly all-Black church, it was less diverse at school. School was, you know, there was maybe three African-Americans and the rest were Caucasians. So that's all I knew growing up and so, but it was, you know, honestly, I have no bad memories, literally no bad memories, of growing up as a kid. 05:21 It was obviously a different lifestyle. I mean, we would walk, you know, almost a mile to get to the bus, you know, walk down the street. We tried to avoid the dogs on the way, avoid running into a moose. You know, very different. I mean, I saw a moose give birth in my backyard as a kid. You know, give birth in my backyard as a kid, you know. So, yeah, just a very different childhood, but also, you know, I'd probably say very close to most people who grew up in the suburbs. I'm sure it's not too different as far as like just having friends in the neighborhood and walking down the street and, you know, playing games with your friends. But, yeah, definitely, just the winters were very cold. I mean, would it's still today, it still gets minus 20, minus 30 in the winter time. Um, so that's, you know, different, and snow was on the ground. Like you know, moving to virginia, they closed the school when the snow and I was like what, why are they closing the school? 06:18 - Speaker 3 it was normal so yeah, it's a little different so what was your family doing in alaska? 06:25 - Speaker 1 military. So, uh, my dad uh married my mother after after I was born. Uh, so glad he did. Uh. So, yeah, they're still married today actually. Um, but we moved to. Uh, it was through the military that we ended up in alaska. Um, and actually through the military, while we left Alaska, my dad got shipped or stationed in Virginia, right outside DC, so the DC metropolitan area. 06:49 - Speaker 3 When I was about 12 years old, Did you move a lot as a military kid? 06:54 - Speaker 1 No, we only moved. Really major move was twice. I mean Alaska, that's the one, and we technically did move in Alaska, different base, but nothing in my life changed Like someone at the same church, things like that. But then again moving to Virginia and that was it. That was the only like big, big move. I know most of my friends I've had like they moved every four years or lived in Germany for some time, but no, we ended up in Alaska for like 11 years and then to Virginia, that was it. 07:30 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I had somebody on. She was the wife of a military officer and they moved a lot, but he also got deployed and I think Afghanistan during the war, and so she told me a lot about like what faith was like on the base and like how they had to like get like, support each other and like because you know they don't know what their husband is going to come back and stuff. So it's really scary. 07:51 - Speaker 1 So I can't, yeah, I can't imagine. I think my dad did leave a lot for trainings, um, and then 91 I'm older, much older. So 91 go for War is when he did go there. But he at that time was not like any like like on the foot ground military guy, he was more doing logistics. So he was, you know, back at the bases in Iraq. But yeah, he was there close to a year, I remember, for the Gulf War. 08:23 - Speaker 3 So from 16, like, how was your progression toward? 08:27 - Speaker 1 I remember, you know, obviously stayed in church. You know, obviously I went to the church wherever my parents went. My mom went, but I'd say, not until I moved to LA. So I graduated high school, moved to New York for about a year or so, I got into acting. That's actually how I ended up in New York and then how I got to LA was the same thing doing acting, and it was that first year and it was nothing but God. 08:52 I met a pastor, a young, well, a man who was about to become a pastor. He was starting a church, him and his friend, and met them at a restaurant randomly, and it was through that church where, like I'd say, my um, I'd say love for god grew, like I was always gonna go to church. There was no, no doubt I was gonna stay in church, but, um, through that ministry, um, I began to, like, I'd say, my falling in love with god, uh, grew to a whole nother level, um, and I just, yeah, grew tremendously, began to read the word like every day, um, and uh, yeah, so a big part of became like my life, like it became like, yeah, this is what I'm gonna be doing. 09:33 - Speaker 3 So uh, is the church still there? What's the church called? 09:36 - Speaker 1 no, actually that's a whole nother conversation. Um, the church did end a couple years after I left. Actually, I left the church, um, but it was there for eight years. I helped to start, I was there from. It was called City of Praise Christian Church in Los Angeles, california, but it was a very, I'll just say, I grew up Church of God in Christ, which is Kojic, which is Pentecostal, excuse me, and the pastor was raised in the same denomination, although our church was non-denominational, but we were very, would you say, pentecostal as far as Spirit filled yes, yes, spirit filled, I'd say overflow was what the church was. 10:25 I mean, it was like a military service, I kid you not. We would wear fatigues on Sundays because we felt like we were going to war every Sunday and service would last, I kid you not three, minimum, three hours every Sunday and we would just pray and worship. And the pastor was very prophetic, so he would pray over people for another hour after service, after he preached. So it was just like that every Sunday. It was like a revival conference every single Sunday. But I loved it, loved every moment of it, and don't think I would go to a church like that now, but I'm so grateful for that I'd say it was my birthing. It was like my foundational, even though you know, getting raised in church. But that was like my foundation now in my eyes as far as how I view the Lord and things like that. 11:15 - Speaker 3 Yeah, I have like a charismatic background. So it's fun when you're young because you have a lot of energy. But, as I get older I'm like it's a little too much now. Let's just relax and be a man of peace. Yes, yeah. 11:28 - Speaker 1 You know I need it every once in a while. Thankfully, I'm sure everyone knows about Bethel they actually have a service here now in New York and so I've gone a couple of times. It's like, ooh, felt good to get in, that I haven't been in that atmosphere in a while. But yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely is. Yeah, again, three, three hours every sunday. That's not plausible right now so what was it about? 11:52 - Speaker 3 uh, that um environment and the pastors that helped you fall in love um, I think it was, we were. 11:58 - Speaker 1 So how do I say this? Like, when you get rid of all the religion, do this, do this, get up, sit down, get rid of all those things and you Like, who is God? What did Paul say? You know about praying, about praying in the spirit, about praying over people. We wrestle, not against flesh and blood. Well, if we're wrestling not against flesh and blood, I mean there's something we need to fight and well, you know, spiritually, fight against and for. 12:39 I'm a Christian, I go to church, I'm a good person to know God has sent us into this world to impact the world. You know, one of the, I guess, mission statements of the church was, you know, to be a city set on a hill that cannot be hid. You know, it's like no. We're in this world to be a light and if you know how can you shine unless you spend time in his presence, spend time in the words, spend time in worship, you know how can you then be ready to go out to battle, you know? So, yeah, it was just a different mindset of, again, more than just. I came to church. I heard a good message I'm gonna be a good person now. You know it was like no, like. God sent us into this world to impact the world. 13:17 - Speaker 3 So what do you think about? Like, what was about that that resonated with you was like oh yeah, that. 13:25 - Speaker 1 You know what? I'll say this I remember after I accepted Christ. I'm like 16, I'm like 17, 18 now I'm at a church, the church my parents were going to. I'm like 17, 18 now I'm at a church, the church my parents were going to, and I remember, for instance, I remember the pastor for once. You know I hate to say it, but my culture, but you know, black churches, they all sound the same, it's like the same rhythm. It was like okay, it's like got to be more than this. And then, but also worship, like you know, again, I grew up. You know gospel choir and singing in the choir and singing songs, and in that culture I'd say it's more. You know, you hear a good sound. It's like, ooh, that girl can sing, you know. And I just remember I needed something different. I just knew it. I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew I needed something different. 14:15 And then that first time in prayer with the pastor, and then when we started singing worship, it opened my eyes because, again, I love to sing, I'm an energetic person, I like to jump around, I like to fill the song and we would again, we would worship for an hour, just jumping and praising and like this is for the Lord, you know, and they talk about, you know, I'm a big Cowboys fan. Please keep watching. I know I'm a Cowboys fan, I know, I know. But when I'm, you know, I'm watching the game, I'm jumping, I'm, you know, I'm in it and it's like how can I not do that, for God, you know. So that's what it was. It was just this freedom of worship. This, you know, even the way he preached was just, he was digging into the word. It was going to be. 15:01 You know, some, I remember we were all like in our early 20s and it's like, you know, 60 year old women are coming by and, like, you know, thinking that, oh, this is too deep for these kids, and we're like what are you talking about? You know, this is what we need, too deep for these kids, and we're like what are you talking about? You know, uh, this is what we need. You know, it was like, you know, very theologically sound and, just again, just more than just a cookie cutter. You know, be a good person, you know. So, yeah, so that's what it was challenging, I just that's the word, yeah, so it's very challenging. It's like be better, you know, go deeper, go deeper. So you know that that's I guess it spoke to, to me, to my, my personality, and everybody and everybody wanted that, believe me. A lot of people came through it was like, oh, it's too much, I'm good, and but for us, for those who were there, we were wired for it. 15:45 - Speaker 3 So were you still acting at this point? 15:47 - Speaker 1 Yes. So I got to LA and I was you know I was doing decent. You know I booked a lot of commercials and some working and I did little bit TV show spots here and there throughout the time, and again I'll throw this in as well. Then, all of a sudden, I really had this strong desire that I knew at 17. I think I was 17 years old, 16, 15, 16 or 17 years old, the church I was at asked me to speak, did, like a youth, little three-minute talk and I remember giving it. And I remember, after I gave that three-minute talk or five-minute talk, I was like, oh, I'm going to be doing this for a long time, like this is what I want to do. And so I remember calling a friend. It's it's like hey, I heard you have a speaking organization, and so I called him and he was like um, because I want, I want to like start going speaking to schools, like I really feel like I'm supposed to do that. And he did and, um, so, yeah, so outside of you know, you know I was an actor, so all my jobs I would just do like wait, I was a waiter, classic coffee shop, you know that's my job. But as far as, like, pursuing other things, it was the acting and then speaking. I was speaking at schools um group homes, um juvenile facilities. So I was doing that. 17:08 Um, hardcore, my years in la. Was it tough giving up acting for you, um, no, no, no. So I kept, I was doing both, I was doing both. No, I mean, now you're not. Are you still an actor? So, okay, funny story. So when I, when I got to new york uh, I don't know again following the storyline, but, um, my, what my now wife got into nyu at for grad school, she came here, um, and at first I was like, nah, babe, I'm an, I'm an actor, I'm in LA, I'm not leaving LA, you know. 17:39 - Speaker 3 That's the end. 17:41 - Speaker 1 That's the end. I need to be in LA and, lo and behold, I got here and I felt the Lord just like changed. I mean, it was kind of crazy. I got to New York and felt like I'd been on vacation, felt like I was home and I was like wait, what? So, anyway, I came here and I'm getting a job at a youth center and it was at that point, actually, god told me to lay it down. I did lay down the acting for about three years and just I'd say 2022, two years ago, he had me pick it back up and I felt released to do it and, showing up that year, I booked three commercials here in the city. I shot one December of this past year. So, yeah, I'm still slowly getting back into it. 18:27 - Speaker 3 So yeah, that's awesome because I mean I love movies, like I grew up, movies, I watch a lot of media, but I see, like God working in Hollywood, little by little, through a lot of actors coming out sharing the story of the Christian walk and whatnot, and it's like, well, in my perspective, being more accepting, not that the studios are accepting it, but like these, like big name actors like that are Christian or just voicing their faith. 18:53 And I was like wow, god's because, like people love story you know what I mean and people love characters because it really resonates with them and it's like because God is a storyteller. 19:03 - Speaker 2 And so. 19:04 - Speaker 3 I feel like movie and media is like the like, the next generation of the storytelling of the gospel, and so like it's amazing that you're going to be part of that. 19:14 - Speaker 1 No, I'm yeah, it's funny I I have, um, been feeling it really strongly to like get into like apologetics, hardcore, like I was in it years ago. But now I've been like really into it like you know, different books and videos I've been watching because I did last year, ended up taking the acting class and then, uh, long story short, they I got cast in a showcase. I didn't even want to audition but the director was like no, you should really do this, you should really audition. And I ended up getting a part in it and I remember being on stage, you know, doing the rehearsals and stuff. 19:47 And you know, there's, you know, one of the people in the showcase was a, you know, transvestite, and then the stage manager was a transvestite, and then the stage manager was a transvestite. And I just remember, like really realizing that God really needs me in that space. And to an even more point, there was a young man in my showcase from my class who he ended up sharing something in class about my youth minister and he called me. He was like hey man, who he ended up sharing something in class about my youth minister and he called me. He was like hey man, I have been looking for a brother to talk with. You know, I'm a Christian as well, man, and I was so grateful to hear you say that and you know. 20:28 So you know, I was like, okay, god, like to your point, like God is sending us there and to love on people. You know, obviously I'll always speak. You know the truth, uh, but the truth is love at the end of the day, and so, um, I really I really have been feeling strong that God wants me in that space to to love on people, to, you know, be a living epistle. You know bread of men, you know Um and um, so yeah, but if those conversations come up, and so yeah, but if those conversations come up, you know obviously speak in love and and and be able to answer their questions. 21:04 - Speaker 3 What advice would you give, like younger brothers and sisters who are trying to get into acting as a Christian, because you know, in the beginning you're kind of scared from basically what I've been told from my acting friends? Then like once you get like more popular and you have this leverage of being able to talk and not being afraid of getting cancelled like it comes out more, so like, how would you encourage them? 21:24 - Speaker 1 um again, I think it's just leading with love. I. I think that's just the biggest, uh, the biggest thing. And then fi and finding your people within. You know um, asking the lord to send you um, as they say, um, uh, advocates. You know um in in the industry like you can, you can talk with and have these conversations with um. But also, number one, too, is just stay in your word, study, pray, um, let god lead you um. 21:55 You know, especially you know, things will come your way that maybe I'll say this, I will say this strongly, like maybe, uh, me, I'm not supposed to take a role, right, but maybe you are. You know, I think I don't ever want to tell someone, oh, you can't do that as a man. You know, obviously there's certain things. Let's be very clear. There's certain things that you probably shouldn't do, but, um, but let the lord lead you um, as far as um, what to do, what to, what to accept and things like that, um and not. Sometimes we can be, so, I think, religious on certain things, um, but that's not to give room for being too lenient either. You know there is a standard uh, but I think to just, you know, stay, prayed up. 22:36 - Speaker 3 Number one so how did you get into youth ministry? 22:39 - Speaker 1 Kind of like I said I saw myself speaking to youth all my life. I never I don't think I ever really said I'm going to be a youth pastor. I don't remember ever saying that. But I just had a very strong desire to talk to youth about choices, about the choices they make. You know, I grew up with a you know mom and dad. You know two parent home and so many people have not, you know, and especially the kids. I would meet at the juvenile hall or counseling centers, especially the kids. I would meet at the juvenile hall or counseling centers. That was not their story and just realizing that so many young men and women have made choices that they didn't know there was another choice to make. They thought this wasn't the only path and so I just had a big heart for them and doing that. So, yeah, that led me to speaking at schools and I was an abstinent speaker from drugs, alcohol, sex the whole nine and for a long time. But then I started having opportunities to speak at churches and I remember being one of the assistant leaders. 23:50 I was a pastor, one of the assistant leaders, at a college ministry in LA, so I started really growing in that and then fast forward. Here in LA I met a man named Aswan Morris, shout out, at Renaissance Church, the church my wife had found and had started going to, and he introduced me to Young Life. And so, through Young Life, I ended up becoming a youth, kind of one of the youth leaders well, the youth leader, I guess, at Redeemer East Harlem with Pastor Justin, and then from there I ended up taking on becoming youth minister through Young Life again at Lower Manhattan, at the church partnership they were having there. So so, yeah, so again, it wasn't my, I say my ultimate vision, but now and then I just actually just finished, I went back to school and got a youth minister leadership degree at Eastern University. Um, just wrapped that up this year. So so, yeah, I'm just like, yeah, youth pastor, youth minister, that's, that's what I'll be doing. 24:56 - Speaker 3 Um, what's been the uh hardest challenges of being youth ministry, because I've done youth ministry and I tell people I'll never go back, I loved it, trust me. I loved it. But there's a lot of patience you need to have, you know yeah, I, you know what, um, I get. 25:11 - Speaker 1 I I always tell people, uh, the only thing I can explain it is like, how are you bent? We're all bent a certain way, like I personally could never work in a convalescent home. I love my grandmother, I love all people, but that's not where my heart is. Nor could I ever work with, you know, three-year-olds Love my kids. My son's three Could never work with three-year-olds. My kids, my son's three, could never work with three-year-olds. 25:37 But I love middle and high school, love them to death, and I'm just so passionate about these pivotal seasons of their life which they can either derail or propel them in life, what they're going to be doing, what they're not going to be doing. So I have just such a big heart for that Because I see so many people our age, you know, who have made those choices right, either for the good or for the bad, that they're still dealing with, you know, and so I just don't want them to make those choices. So, yeah, I personally can't imagine not doing it. So, you know, especially even now, being able to disciple kids, meet them been meeting a lot throughout the week, taking them to lunch and just talking with them and just realizing how important, like I just I wish I had this as a kid you know, um, I never had anyone come to me and take me to lunch as a kid and give me the word and talk to me about what I'm feeling or going through. 26:47 Um, I definitely could have used it, Um, but uh, so yeah. 26:52 - Speaker 3 Is worship leading, something you're so passionate about? 26:55 - Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, so actually, uh, young Life. I've officially no longer worked for Young Life anymore, but they have still subcontracted me out to do the music at camps now. So I did two camps recently. I'll be doing another summer camp for a whole month this summer doing the music and program stuff. So, yeah, so definitely still passionate about it. Thankfully I have some friends that have sung on his album a couple times, so he'll call me up to go do some music with him. He's a Christian rapper, randy Mason, Shout out. He's amazing. But yeah, so, yeah, so I still get a chance to do that occasionally. So what's going on in your life now? So now, it's funny, it was a bit too full when I was still in school, but now that school's done, on Sundays I work at LMCC. 27:48 Monday, during the week I go to schools and speak. In fact, today I have a school mentorship program. I speak at a school in the Bronx. I go there Tuesdays and Thursdays, but then on Wednesdays I work with another church called Wellspring. I'm sure you've heard of them. Yeah, wellspring with Pastor Seth. So I'm there Wednesday nights. I'm a co-leader there. I'm not the, but I'm the co-leader there, which is perfect. So, yeah, it's great. They have a great group of kids there, so they're every Wednesday night and then, like I said, thursdays and Fridays there's another school I help speak at as well. So, yeah, pretty busy. Got at least a school or a church to speak at throughout the week. 28:33 - Speaker 3 So, so how'd you meet your wife? 28:34 - Speaker 1 oh, it was amazing. Um, at the church back in la not now, not that church, but after that I left that church, um, which is a whole nother conversation, but and I believe in that church uh, joining a church called hope's house in in um, northridge california. Um, I was there and, um a couple years, a of years into the church, the youth leader over the all youth, asked me to start a middle school boys mentorship program. She asked she felt I should start one. I was like you know what? Yeah, prayed about it, and she was like, hey, we actually have a girl, one already that's been going and you should meet with you know the lady, who's the girl, who's running that, so you guys can, maybe, you know, team up. I was like, oh, perfect, and that's her. We had our first meeting and I kid you not, in that meeting, as she was talking, I felt the Lord say I know this is super religious, but I heard the Lord say that is your rib and I felt it and I was like, and the beautiful thing about that is I had God had given this message. 29:41 I spoke at a college called the original path to marriage and in it it kind of talked about how God will reveal your wife to you Won't be, you know. As you know, as me, I'm always, you know, looking at a girl that, oh, is that the? Is that her? That her, oh, is that her. But for her she's beautiful, to be very clear. But for some reason she kind of like just had me not focus on that. It was just who she was. It just spoke to me so strong. It was the first time it ever happened for me and so, yeah, so her side of it is really funny, because she thought I was somebody else and thought I was married. So she was, like, wasn't even thinking to even let me, let her brain go there. But thankfully we cleared that up. That was not me. So, yeah, we met at church and yeah, like I said, she's the one that got me to New York, so she was interested in you initially too. 30:34 No, I think she felt good. I mean, she remembers saying she loved our conversation. She was like man, this is so natural, this feels so good. But she was like nope, he's married. I'm not letting myself go there. And an amazing, amazing part of our story is she was living with her cousin. I'll say her name, mirta, and then her cousin's husband is Darnell. Well, for the past three years I met Darnell. He actually was the main worship leader at that church and when I met him I felt, god say you need to connect with him. And for three years we prayed once a week together, him and I, for three years, had no idea that, you know, obviously. So she's at time living with them and so, anyway, when she tells them like hey, I met Godfrey. 31:21 And and Mirta I guess, told her. It's like oh my gosh, godfrey is is great, like we, we love him. And she was like I thought he was. She was like no, he ain't got nobody. So, so it was it was like see, it was great, was great like god god had it all mapped out. Yeah, god worked it out always it's just yeah, she's like oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, she, yeah, it's just so great like she, you know, it's like no, hang out with nobody so she was like oh and so, um, I called her and asked her to coffee, and we did, and the rest 31:56 - Speaker 3 is history so how has fatherhood changed you, oh man um a lot. 32:04 - Speaker 1 I mean, obviously, as you know it's, it's um I'm trying to even put into words um I. Just in the back of my brain I'm always like, am I, am I a good dad? But I just try to love them as much as I can. I don't know. I definitely feel like a different person the way my thoughts go. 32:31 Before it was just you think about yourself, obviously, obviously, when we got married, just thinking about her. But now it's, you know, making sure they're good, making sure that they're taken care of and protected, and I'm kind of a worry wart. So I'm always like you know, god, are you okay? Did she get hurt? Is she okay? You know I have a son and a daughter and a son and so, yeah, I don't know, I'd say my, obviously I feel like I've been more responsible, even, you know, getting better. But definitely now it's like, you know, trying to be on time, trying to do things the right way, making sure, you know, like picking the kids up from school, things like that. So I don't know, yeah, I, yeah, I honestly I can't. I don't know if I can put into words how it's changed me. I really don't know. I just know I'm different. 33:23 - Speaker 3 Yeah, so what advice would you give young couples about marriage? 33:28 - Speaker 1 and you know, parenthood, oof, just the hardest part I'm sure most parents would say this when the kids first come, like we struggled with remembering that you know we're more than just roommates. You know, that was the biggest like, especially having two they're 15 months apart, and for us it was just like really making sure we're connecting, because it really does become focus on the kids, focus on the kids, focus on the kids. And yeah, so that was when you first, you know, get pregnant and baby comes and all the like, just really have conversations about, hey, checking in with each other. How are you doing, you know, having those honest conversations? 34:24 One of the grateful things about I love, about my wife and I, is that we're able to speak honestly, you know, with each other, like how we're feeling and so, yeah, um with each other, like how we're feeling and so um, so, yeah, so just making sure like you guys can like communicate even more um with each other. 34:42 Um, and then, one thing we're also learning because now our kids are talking a lot, you know, uh is for us to uh making sure we um probably communicate about things before getting in front of them, you know, because sometimes I think we'll both have different ideas about something about the kids, what they're asking, and then the kids are sitting there watching us kind of go decide on something, which is, you know, can't plan that kind of stuff. But just again, I think, just trying your best to just talk to each other more. And it's difficult because we both work full-time jobs. Again, my job is not full-time, I work multiple different things as I'm running around, but, especially with her job, we don't get a lot of time together Because it's get the kids, or I mean, go to work, do the work, get the kids fed, put them to bed and then try to figure out those last couple of hours before you fall asleep. 35:40 - Speaker 3 So, yeah, so that'd be the number one thing what made you fall in love with her? 35:43 - Speaker 1 Oh man, like I said that first meeting I knew I felt something just about who she was. But she is the most loving person I've ever met in my life. Her heart is so big and I remember taking a strength finder and if you've ever done that like I think that the lowest, I guess, is 34 and empathy was my 34. And so I knew like that wasn't me, but it was just her. Like she is just literally the one of just the sweetest person. 36:19 Um, and the way she cares for people, um, loves on people, you know, loves me, but um, just watching, again watching her, uh, and just the way she, you know her attention to details, um, she's just great. I mean she's a senior manager now, so attention to details, part of her, her resume, but, um, but yeah, she's um, and she's she loves, loves the Lord, um, obviously number one. Um, loves God and challenges me, you know. Um, again, especially on the heart matters, you know, um, she just, she, just, yeah, she knows, and she knows how to. From day one, she knew. I would say I felt like she had the codes to my heart because she knew how to say things. Uh, like I said, she could say anything to me and she just knew how to say it. 37:09 - Speaker 3 Um, that would cause me to just like oh, okay so yeah, and how can we be praying for you and your family? 37:38 - Speaker 1 I think the time, which I'm sure every New Yorker would. You know, as I said, it wasn't my original plan for vocational ministry and so now this is our second church vocationally, and so I think just you know navigating that you know, because I get to church and I go to work. You know we don't go to church to sit together and listen to the Word, so it's been a very still new thing for her and for me. So I think just navigating our spiritual walk together, because right now it does feel sometimes a little separate Because even though I those working in ministry, you don't sit and hear the word a lot, you know in my role position. So, yeah, as finding that time to sit with the Lord and and even us praying together more too, I'd say just pray that we can find places to tap in together, you know, spiritually all right, thanks for coming on podcast Godfrey. 38:41 - Speaker 3 Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, all right, that's about the podcast guys. 38:44 - Speaker 2 But thank you for tuning in to the Faithly stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The faith Lee stories podcast is brought to you by faithly, an online is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. 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