The Shattered Whole - Samura Jones | Faithly Stories

00:01 - Speaker 1 I think it's really important to acknowledge what it is that you are feeling and what you have gone through, but not enough for them to make permanent decisions within your life, and so those are practices that I have learned, you know, over time, and as, when I came out of foster care, I was really excited about this new life because I'm like, okay, now I'm home with my mother. 00:30 - Speaker 2 Welcome to Faithly Stories, the podcast that brings you inspiring tales from conversations with church leaders as they navigate the peaks and valleys of their faith journeys, through their ministry work and everyday life Brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders. Learn more at faithly.co. Get ready to be uplifted and inspired on the Faithly Stories podcast. 00:58 - Speaker 3 Samura Jones, welcome to the Faithly Stories podcast. 01:02 - Speaker 1 Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to you, allowing me to come in to your space. I really do appreciate it. Thank you so much. 01:11 - Speaker 3 Yeah, of course, and, as we were talking about before, we hit record it's 90 degrees in New York. So if our if for those who are watching us, if you see us start sweating or you see us start to turn the fan on, that's the situation right now. 01:32 - Speaker 1 Just give a little grace. 01:33 - Speaker 3 That's right. 01:35 - Speaker 1 Don't get distracted. It's deeper than the sweat. 01:37 - Speaker 3 That's right. That's right, all right. So we're going to think some cool thoughts. Samura, you are an area director for Care Portal, you're an author, you're a podcaster, you're a coach. That's a lot of experience and there's a lot of wisdom I know you have to share with our audience. But before we get there, I'd love to start from the beginning. What was your first encounter with God's love, with his presence that really shaped you? 02:12 - Speaker 1 Oh man, when I think about God's love, I don't think that I recognized in the beginning that it was God's love. 02:29 Was God's love? The first encounter that I remember was a time where I had experienced this really, really difficult hardship. I was a very young child and at the time I was in foster care and we had went through this really horrific ordeal and it was the first time that I kind of asked the question of where God was. And even the fact that I asked the question to him, I think now, looking back, that there was an evidence of his presence that I just didn't know how to connect with. And so in the space of this really dark room, there was literally a crack in the window and it was just this like little shine of light that was coming in. And I was just talking to the light and I was asking God, like where he was, um, and it began the journey, relational connection, to just discovering um, his love and presence. So that was the. That's my first memory of connecting, seeking or, or feeling um, or desiring to feel God. 03:48 - Speaker 3 Wow, yeah, wow, as a young child too, and in the midst of adversity, and so that's something I want to dig into, which is, you know, your story, which you've shared publicly, is one of adversity. It's one of unimaginable pain, I think, for most people. What has kept your faith alive? 04:12 - Speaker 1 Oh man, I don't think it's been one thing. I think it's been these continual relational encounters with God over time, in different aspects. I believe the different points of touch that I've had with God has given revelation to his character. Given revelation to his character, because it's one thing to just hear what people say God is, it's a whole nother thing to experience it yourself. And so being able to have these numerous encounters on different planes with God, it has allowed me to strengthen my faith, and a lot of times my faith has been strengthened and been alive. It's been through seeing how God showed up in the challenge and in the celebration, and so one thing that I can think of was there was a time where I was very dependent on myself and I felt like I needed to be, because you know, and as we'll probably talk about is my childhood, my youth, did not give credit or give me reason to trust adults, and so it was like if I needed something to happen, to make something happen, then I needed to rely on myself, and with that it came with working at a very young age. 05:53 I started working at nine years old and helping my mother pay rent, helping my mother pay the bills, putting food on the table. And from nine years old to maybe my mid adulthood, it was me at least in my foresight taking care of and handling everything, and I had got to a place where I felt like things were growing and striving. I had, at that point, I was working at Apple and I was a tech there and I was being promoted back to back. I was, you know, flourishing, I'm excited about what I'm doing, and God is like hey, I want you to quit your job. And I'm like that doesn't make any sense because, one, I have a child and two, my husband at the time wasn't working. I said that's not smart, that's not responsible. As an adult, that is not what we are taught to do. Why would I quit my job? And I had this feeling of okay, well, you know what God, I was like. I've been poor before, so I know how to be poor again. 06:59 And I remember the Holy Spirit saying to me who told you that you would be poor to me, who told you that you would be poor, but I assumed you don't have a job, because job being my provider, hustling being my way of providing resources for myself, if I didn't have those tools, if I wasn't getting it. That way, how could provision ever be possible? And so, going into it, scared, going into it not knowing, going into it without God giving me the plan, because I asked for it, I said, would you let me know what the plan is and what's happening and what's going on? And he didn't. 07:37 And so I was obedient anyway and for three years I did not have clearance, if you will, to get a job, and in that time God had provided more financially for me and relationally for me than I had ever done on my own, and it solidified that not only was he someone who provided, but that he was a God who saw me. He saw what I needed and he saw that I needed to understand who he was in character, who he was as a father, who he was as a caregiver, who he was as a redeemer, like he knew the stages of where I needed to let go, of how the world told me survival or provision needed to look like, and that he was that. So that was just. He then became my provider, right and always, in all aspects, because of that journey that I experienced there. 08:39 - Speaker 3 Yeah, wow, that's really powerful and you've touched on some key moments in your journey. You talked about how you started working at nine. You were still with your mother then, and then you fast forwarded and talked about working for Apple, one of the, you know, biggest and most impressive tech companies in the world. Can you fill in what happened sort of in between that, to give us a sense of how you became one of the leading advocates for the foster care system? 09:07 - Speaker 1 Yeah for sure. So when I was six years old, unfortunately and I always state this, because you never know who's listening, you never know where they are in their journey so I always pray, first and foremost, that if you have experienced any kind of sexual abuse or trauma, experience any kind of sexual abuse or trauma, that as you were hearing you know my testimony that it does not re-trigger you, but that it actually gives you permission to release, it actually gives you permission to trust, it actually gives you permission to begin healing, if you have not already. So that is always my prayer for people, as I you know, as I talk through it. And so when I was six years old, unfortunately, my father molested me as a child, and he did it for about a year. Finally, I had told my sisters, my sisters told my mother, and my mom at the time, like she said something about it, but she did not make the move to remove my dad. And so my sister told a teacher, and so a teacher made the call, which often happens, and the teacher made the call as a mandated reporter, saying that, hey, that there was an investigation that needed to happen with at the time, it was BCW, not ACS. That's how old I am and I was removed from the home and place into foster care. 10:31 I actually went into three foster homes in a very short period of time and when I got to my third foster home, they were like, hey, we really think that this is going to be the one that is going to stick. We feel like you're going to find safety here. This is going to be a great experience, because the foster mother that I had she was a BCW social worker and so, having someone who was in the field, who understood what children were going through, the concept that they had was that I was going to be safe, and that's what they told us. And on top of that, they were Christians, they were in the church, you know. So they were deacons and deaconess in the church, and so they were like this is going to be a great environment for you. 11:18 But it wasn't. So that foster family that we went to, who had all of these criterias that should show that they would be a great home, it wasn't. They ended up beating us, starving us. You know, we were like the kids locked in cages that you see. You know, like on the news, and so you could see my skeleton and the abuse was relentless. And so a lot of people ask hey, you know, if you knew that this thing was happening, like, who did you tell? Who did you talk to? One of the things that you get as a foster child is a therapist, and so I told my therapist and I never disclosed the name of him, but he's actually a very famous therapist today and I told him that the abuse was happening and he told my foster mother, and so the response was to drop me down a flight of stairs when I got back and told me that if I ever told that that she would, that she would kill me. 12:28 So trust was broken with fostering was not protecting me, and then the powers that be, if you will, that was surrounding that's supposed to be the checks and balances, was then not protecting me. So where do you go from there? You kind of resort into your shell of self-preservation and survival, of what must be done to just make it. And so having you know and I was in foster care for three years, so three years of consistent, you know abuse, almost being drowned, almost having you know these times having scars and weps and being in the church because they were, we went to church three to four days a week, you know. So I was so confused and conflicted and that's why I had a very weird relationship, I think, in the beginning, with this so-called God, because it wasn't like I wasn't in your house yet, I wasn't protected, but I had this one. 14:02 There was three distinct people during that time that I think that was strategically placed for the who God knew I would become past the moment of my trial and tribulation. One was a babysitter and her name we call it a mama. Right, mama Daniels was her name. She has gone on to glory and this woman was what I would call a true Christian. This one was one who lived out the biblical context of loving one another, loving your neighbor, caring for the least of these, feeding those. She was the example that was placed in this really traumatic time and she would just pray over me I would have. 14:33 I remember being so sick and getting in trouble with my foster mother because I had a stomach bug and you know, when you have a stomach bug you can't help whether or not you're throwing up and she would threaten me that if I threw up in school and she had to get called that I would then get beat, and I'm like you can't control it though, and so thank God that they didn't call her, but they called mama, and so mama came and picked me up from school and she laid me on the floor and made a little palette, had a little bucket next to my side and she just thanked. She praised God for my life, and I didn't understand it. I didn't understand why the care of the of of me was to praise God for a life that I didn't feel was worth being praised for. Yet she did so, and I had a teacher who would be by my side and she would have me stay in her classroom and just have time to myself and just be there with her, and she would help to tutor me and she would help to do all of these things for me. 15:45 And then, when I did go into the church, there was a mother who was in the church, and she was very disturbed by my physique. She would always complain because I would wear the same clothes over and over again, and she didn't understand why I was so skinny. So she would try to feed me every chance she got, and she would make me sit next to her and she would just pray over me. She would just pray over me. So I had all of these people who were kind of the external parties interjecting and interceding for this life that they were blessing God for and thanking God for, when I had no evidence of anything to really be thankful for in the time, and so I believe they planted the seeds that needed to grow in order for God to have his way in my life and the way that he does now, because I am completely surrendered. But it started with those mustard seeds of faith and prayer. 16:52 - Speaker 3 Yeah, wow. So I think you shared in the very beginning of our conversation that God spoke to you through relationship, and now I see what you mean your relationship with these mothers in your life, good mothers that the Lord provided for you. I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you, Samura. I know you've shared it with me before and I've seen you share it from stage, but it's unimaginable pain and for you to share it again and again is such a gift I, I think, to those who are suffering, who maybe have um had similar experiences. So, thank you, yeah, thank you. 17:31 - Speaker 1 And the um one. I'm very thankful that I can and you're talking about layers and decades of work Like I didn't just arrive right, um, at this place where I can talk through it, where it doesn't re-traumatize, right, you have therapists that I have that I love, you know, I love therapy, you know prayer and conversation with God. You know counsel and then allowing myself to feel without allowing my feelings to have what I call voting rights at the table of my life. Yeah, I think it's really important to acknowledge what it is that you are feeling and what you have gone through, but not enough for them to make permanent decisions within your life. And so those are practices that I have learned, you know, over time. And as, when I came out of, like, foster care, I was really excited about, like this new life because the I'm like okay, now I'm home with my mother and now I can really be safe. But what I didn't expect to happen was the, the financial really disparity that my mom was dealing with as a single mom, with now two kids back in the home and really just not enough, having more month than money, as my pastor said. And so you know what could I, what could I do, and I think that there's something, the way that God has created me, that I would even think of at nine years old, like what can I do to help pay the bills? 19:08 And so at the time I started watching five children, two five kids that I was taking care of. It was two that I would take to school and to their afterschool program that was right in the neighborhood. And then I had three kids that I would take to school and pick up from school to help them, because their parents needed someone who could do the early morning and in the evening until they got home from work. And so I charged each parent $25 a kid, and so I had $125 a week, so $500 a month, and at that time that was very good money, you know, especially for a nine-year-old. 19:53 And then I learned how to braid, and so I would braid the girl next door, you know daughter's hair, and she would pay me $25 for every time I would braid, you know, her daughter's hair. 20:05 And so I had a good $600 a month that was coming in to help my mom pay for the phone bill, pay for food, and then she could take care of the rent. And so we together raised me, you know, and my sisters financially, and I kind of always became like that person because once I realized that I could really have like this impact, I was like, oh, then I started talking to people and trying to figure out, like, how do you do what you do? I became a very curious, you know, kid and people were just willing to give me a shot and let me try. And I would try, practice, then do, and then it became this kind of rippling effect that allowed me to kind of go down this road of relational connections learning, being curious and then trying it until I could practice it and get it to perfection, you know, or close to it, if you will. 21:07 - Speaker 3 Wow, Samura, thank you for sharing all of that. It's so clear to see, like every step, how it led you to where you are. I think it was Pastor Rick Warren who said that your greatest pain will be your greatest ministry. And I mean, like you were just such an example of that right and even all the things that you did to like raise yourself with your mother right, like all of that resilience and like the creativity. I just see so clearly how you became this voice fighting for children in your current role. So can you tell us now about your role at Care Portal? Like? What do you do and how did you like? How did you arrive at this role? 21:53 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so I started off about two years ago as a regional manager and I was previously working at an organization for leadership development and I loved being a part of that aspect of it because I got to be a part of the building and the brainchild behind helping so many different organizations get to their from their mission to measurement, if you will get to there, from their mission to measurement, if you will and a part of that allowed one, relational connections across the city. Two, a deeper and better understanding of what was going on with the churches and organizations dealing with many different challenges in there. And at the same time, God had said something to me that I really rejected at first, which was hey, I want you to go back to school. 22:50 And I was like no, thank you, Lord, I don't want to do that. I've never liked school, I don't want to do that. And on top of that he was like hey, I want you to go to school for social work. Social work. I almost got maybe not almost I got angry because I was like why would you send me anywhere near that kind of re-triggering? You know, I said I was like I'm doing well connecting with people this way. Why do you want me to go down a different door? And so, but like always, you know, I state how I feel to the Lord and then I go do what he told me to do in the first place. I was like, but he gonna know how I feel about it. 23:32 And so I went to school for social work, which actually gave me the connection to to lead NYC at the time, and then a co-worker who was moving on to actually launch Care Portal in New York had gave me a call, which is Mark Atkinson, who was the former area director and he is now the field director for the Northeast for Care Portal, gave me a call and was like hey, I really think that this position as regional manager would really be a good fit for you because of your experience of both with church, with agency, but with the foster care system directly, and I said let me pray about it. I said, let me pray about it and I did, and it was really clear it was Care Portal is the destination and I'm still journeying through it. That has allowed the full circle of the numerous experiences that I've had with both the foster care system, with agencies, from caseworkers to social workers to therapists, churches, to be centered in all in one place. And so I believe that God's design for me to go to school for social work allowed me to not just have the experience of my experience in foster care but to understand the systematic process and processes through that, that chapter, and I'm already in church, and so I have now the three kind of pillar cornerstones of understanding to really be a part of doing this work. 25:21 And then he made sure that he healed me before he assigned me and so that when I go and I do this work, now that I get to do a care portal, which is and for those who don't know, let me, you know, give the details of what care portal is. So care portal is a technology that allows agencies, which is a very broad term for Care Portal. So you can be a school, an ACS agency, community-based organization who have children at the center of their care, can put in requests of the most vulnerable children that are in families in our communities and then they use this platform called Care Portal to put those needs in and then we connect and train churches to be a part of coming together, to be a part of taking care of the child. 26:31 - Speaker 3 Wow, so you called it the destination. I love that. Like you have seen, you're seeing how God has woven your story together to bring you to this place. That's just so beautiful. Can you give us maybe a couple of examples of how the Lord has shown up in this work, how he's worked and shown up? I'm just curious if there are maybe some interactions with agencies or churches or with children that have increased your faith? 27:06 - Speaker 1 Yeah, and so I would say, with agencies, one of the things that I have been able to see more than I think that I could, which is past my experience is the level of heavy of their work. There is a rate of social workers leaving the industry of over 54% Wow. And so when I'm having conversations with my agency reps and caseworkers, I am, first and foremost, taking care, in the human of that that I'm talking to, and finding out how they are, what their real needs are, so that the organization as a whole can be a part of a care source for them. It's why they say it's a care-sharing platform, because we're not just caring for the child, but we're caring for all those who are connected to the program. So part of it is how do we care for the social workers? By providing a tool and resource that will actually lead to a relief of the amount of work that they have on their table, and by also making sure that they're they, the human are cared for and taken care of. And so, um, I get to, um, hear my uh agencies call me and say you know, I've been really, I'm really thankful that you know that we were able to get these items for this family. But they've been waiting for a while to get these items. But not just that, like the church came in and they were praying with the family, that they were in contact with the family, that they have been inviting the family, you know, to church, that we had one church who took the family. Instead of just buying the clothes for them, they invited them out on a Saturday to go to lunch and they went to the mall and they went shopping for the items that the family needed. 29:14 And so these are the kind of things that change how the agency sees the tool of it, because it's not just this technology tool, it's a pathway to community for their families that they can't necessarily give them. So it transforms the kind of transactional work that they have to do at times to this relational community provision. In one hand because I always tell people, I'm like when you are telling people, hey, you know, trust God and God is there for you and here for you, but the person that you're talking to stomach is grumbling. It's really hard to hear when I'm hungry. So being able to meet them at their need and then at the same time, create community, you see the beauty of the good news that lights up in a social worker, because they have so many hard cases that when they get the opportunity to not only have good news but to be able to say, actually this person no longer needs my service because they now have community, it's transformational into the hearts of our agency but also into the hearts of the families who are saying things like I was so shocked that people just were providing help to strangers without a reason, like they just did it because they cared, like they just did it because they cared. And it does something in that heart. 30:46 When you are in survival mode so often and you can feel forgotten and unseen, and to have strangers come into your home and be a part of just loving on you and caring for you and supporting you and really providing what you need and seeking to serve more, it becomes a real meaningful connection past this one request that may be in our system and our churches are thriving and caring for their community because now they have visibility and so it's hard, and so some churches. 31:25 They do things like hey, we have a food pantry, we have a clothing drive, we have these events. But if you knew that Jessica, who was down the street from you was dealing with an ACS issue because she didn't have a bed. Now you have visibility to really care for your neighbors in a different way. Care for your neighbors in a different way and it becomes this beautiful cycle of movement. And I get to be a part of each corner of that aspects to some degree, whether it is in training or in learning or adapting, and because there's so many different ways that you can care. 32:07 - Speaker 3 We really see God's love and we see God when we see God's people showing care and love to these children and these families in need. And gosh, you get to see that right, like every day in your job. So let me ask a couple of clarifying questions. So Care Portal it's about helping children before they enter the foster care system, right? I think that's important to just highlight again. It's all about helping children when they're vulnerable, when they're in need and sort of before they hit that critical juncture, right, sort of before they hit that critical juncture. 32:43 - Speaker 1 Right? Yeah, because here's what we know. We know that the statistics say that when you are going into the pipeline, if you will, of foster care, that the outcomes are not good. Right, we have over 50% of the population who are homeless who have been at some point in foster care right, some point in foster care. Right. Over 65% of people who are human trafficked or sex traffic has had a has an encounter with foster care, right. So we have all of these different like statistics that tell us that the outcome is greater harm than it is good with our families going into foster care. 33:22 And so we always utilize this quote from Reverend Desmond Tutu that says instead of just pulling people out the water, go upstream and find out why they're falling into the first place. So how can we stop you from falling in? How can we find out what's going on with the families so that we can be a part of community collaboration that helps to provide real, tangible resources and emotional and mental resources, so that our families are not going into foster care in the first place? Part of that is you go. Well, why are they going into foster care in the first place, or why are they being removed from the home. And the statistics are staggering when it says that over 67% of the families and the kids who are going into foster care are not because of sexual or physical abuse but because of poverty neglect. So we're like wait if we have almost 70% of the children who are in foster care not in foster care because they were in this malicious you know home, where you have these really bad, ill-equipped you know parents harming them. But in fact it's really the needs of the families mom, dad, grandma, whatever the context is that needs support and help in these tangible ways. Well, why don't we be a part of helping the tangible need and helping the communal need? And so that's what Care Portal does. It allows us as a community to be a part of stopping this pipeline of into foster care due to impoverished needs. That way, those who are in foster care who really need to be there are not a part of a bloated system that is looked over. 35:06 I was one of those kids where the care wasn't there, probably because my caseworker was overwhelmed. There was, you know, not an excuse for that. But to understand the context of the load of expectation that our social workers have, you have to take some of it into context, even if it's not an excuse for it. So Care Portal allows us to really get a hold of the people who are already really doing this in the community, because it's not just church-based. 35:40 Churches are the only points of care that can actually go meet the family, because we believe that they have something special to bring with them, but not only that that the Holy Spirit is waiting at the door for both the family that they're serving and the churches. But everyone can be a part of this. Which I think is so beautiful about Care Portal is that if you're just an individual who downloaded the app, you can be a part of helping a family in need in your community or in the city or anywhere in the US, because you're like, hey, now I see it and it goes 100% to that family and it's a beautiful vetted, by the way, vetted, you know requests that are in the system, and so it's a beautiful, beautiful thing really tool that allows us to be transformative locally and citywide. 36:36 - Speaker 3 Wow, that is a very, very powerful platform and I love what you said about the Holy Spirit's just waiting at the door to bless both sides of the equation not just the children and the families that are being served, but the churches and the individuals and others that are bringing that help to the table. So, your area director, what is your area? What's your territory? 36:59 - Speaker 1 So my territory is New York City, so, and that's Brooklyn, queens, long Island, staten Island, manhattan, the Bronx. We do Nassau, as you know as well, so that area. We are in New York State as well, so that area. 37:17 - Speaker 3 We are in New York State, but my particular area of coverage is New York City. No big deal, just the biggest city in the world, right In the United States. Sorry, not in the world, but the biggest city in this country. That's a lot of ground to cover and you need a lot of help. So we've got a lot of listeners who are church leaders and ministry leaders, not just in New York, but a lot of them in New York. If they're feeling excited and stirred up and they want to get involved, how do they do that? How do they get in touch with you? 37:43 - Speaker 1 Listen, email me. But no, if you go to careportalorg and it says enroll your church, it actually automatically sends an email to me and my regional manager, peter Rhee. Shout out to Peter Rhee, love him, and it allows us to get in contact so that we can have a conversation. I would say the first thing first, though, is download the app, like do the easy thing first and start to look through it. See the requests that are in your city, in your city and your neighborhood, because you can do it by zip code. Like see what's going on in there. Like go to careportalorg and sign up, and when you sign up with your zip code, it'll automatically go to a leader in the area that you are. 38:28 So, even if you're not in New York, be a part of helping families in tangible ways. If you're like man, I don't know everything, I'm like what do I need to know? We do all the training. We train you on how to use the platform, and it's a short training and then we train your church on how do you respond to families and community. What does that look like? What is the different traumas and how is it? Brain deep and what I'm already doing to what we're doing. 39:15 We game plan together a strategy that makes sense for what it is that you are doing within your community. So this will always, though I promise you this is something that will always stretch you right, and it allows us to really just do the command that God has given us, which is to take care of the least of these, to take care of, to feed, to clothe right, to provide, to love, like it allows us to really disciple and develop more as disciples. So, if a church is looking for an opportunity to do it, absolutely do it, and I'm like I'll put my email in here as well. Like you know, out of mind, you know to do it. If you want to, you know, connect with me directly. 39:56 - Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, that's great. Thank you so much. I mean, your sleeves are rolled up and you're looking for people to roll up their sleeves with you, so that's great. Thank you for sharing all that. 40:06 - Speaker 1 It's free for churches, by the way. 40:08 - Speaker 3 Oh, that's amazing no-transcript. 40:34 - Speaker 1 we want to be financial contributors to this. Like, how can we be a part of this? You can do it. There's a number of ways to be connected, so there's no excuse for not everybody to have their hands in the pot of care. 40:46 - Speaker 3 Wow, I could ask you probably 25 more questions about Care Portal, but I don't want to leave our conversation today without talking about another significant role you play, and it's as an emotional restoration coach. When I came across this term in speaking with you and getting to know you, it was my first time coming across this term before. Can you tell us what that means and, yeah, how it all works? 41:16 - Speaker 1 Sure, so actually taking a leadership advancement course. One of the courses was emotional intelligence and so Dr Rupert Hales, which is who you had on um long ago um, was the facilitator for emotional intelligence and I actually did take uh his training course for uh, um, uh, eqi. So in taking that, it gave me um, this partnership, right With the word um, that allows me to help people walk through the healing process. One of the things that I would hear a lot as I was looking for ways to kind of heal from the trauma of different experiences that I had went through was a lot of encouragement but not a lot of how. And so you know, like navigating through the space of your emotions in some kind of action-oriented ways. And so, as an emotional restoration coach, right is in alignment with God also cares about your emotional health and in that redemption story it is a part of it. Like those emotional component is a part of restoring you back to an emotional healthy place. And so, as your coach, I help you walk through in partnership, because I can't do the work for you of what it looks like to walk through this emotionally healthy life. 42:50 One thing is we do the emotional EQI assessment of just finding out where you are and your emotional intelligence, maturity, understanding, and we dive into that. We use that as a tool that is accompanied with, you know, biblically-based principles that talk about, like how God sees you and in comparison to how you see and understand yourself, that mirror moment, and does the mirror of God match the mirror of you? And then the basis of it is how we acknowledge. So the first thing is that we go through the process of acknowledging the hurt. You cannot deal with anything that you do not acknowledge. And then we go through the process of claiming our healing, which sounds really exciting but it's really the most hard part, because in order to acknowledge your healing, you have to let go of the comfort of having the hurt. And it sounds weird, but sometimes you have become so comfortable with your hurt because it's what you know. 43:52 Going into a place of claiming your healing it's what you know. Going into a place of claiming your healing it's unknown territory but it really is a beautiful thing. But it kind of feels tumultuous a little bit in the process. But once you then claim and accept that there is good for you, that there is a path that you can take along that journey of times where hurt will happen, because that's life, but also that there is good, that there is joy, that there is blessings, that there is life, that there is healing, that there's practices that you can put in place, and then you start to now adapt right when you are now living, like you learned the lesson. So now I am now living out this new life that I have in this restored place of healing, and now I have the tools to kind of do it as life, life's, you know, and so that is the crux of what I do as a coach. 44:47 - Speaker 3 Thank you for sharing that. That is super interesting and super powerful. I think you have this vocabulary for talking about, like the phrase that you use, the comfort of your pain. I think vocabulary is really helpful and this framework that you have is really helpful. And is it what informs The Shattered Whole? So you're the author and the host of The Shattered Whole. Tell us about that. 45:13 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so I wrote a book, which was very odd because I was like God, I am no author but apparently I am. But it was an interactive journal on purpose and I love that. You said that you have this language. One of the things that I realized in my studies and as going through the process of Shattered Whole was that most people don't have emotional language to truly express what it is that they're actually feeling. So they're pigeonholed into the kind of six words of I'm angry, you know, I'm sad, I'm happy, you know. And the truth of the matter is, if you do not place the right verbiage on the words that you're actually experiencing, you do not actually get the benefits of dealing with what is actually occurring, because you are telling your brain that you are experiencing something that you actually internally are not, and so there's this conflict of things. So even in the book, the back of it has an emotional glossary. 46:12 so that you can then learn what the word is that you're saying and find out if you actually mean that word. 46:22 And so I started a podcast that would allow me the opportunity to talk to leaders and deal with hey, what is the emotional health and intelligence that you are experiencing as leaders? 46:38 Because one of the things that God had talked to me about was when I was in this class and learning about emotional intelligence, and he was like your purpose is for emotional restoration. I was like God, what is that? And part of that was, he said, my leaders are leading people into more brokenness. So my target, if you will, is leaders across the city, which is why I love even the work that I get to do with Care Portal, because I get to talk to leaders and at the base of everything that I do, it's still emotional restoration. And on this podcast, I get to talk to leaders all across the state and the world about what that looks like for them and their journey, because I think that there is a misconception that, because you are leading, that you do not feel and that you do not also need that care emotionally as well, and so I get to partner with leaders in that aspect and give the jewels over to our viewers about the different kinds of insight and it connects with them and I'm really grateful for that. 47:51 - Speaker 3 Wow, what a way to take your past and your pain and your learning and your experience and really bless people with it, bless leaders and bless your audience. Maybe we could wrap it up with a couple final questions. I want to tap into your glossary. What does wholeness mean in this broken world where we heal, but healing's a journey, right, and it continues throughout your life. Like what? What does it mean to be whole? 48:22 - Speaker 1 Yeah, wholeness, um, in in my, uh, in my glossary, if you, if you will, it is. It is like the completion of something, but it is a cycle because we are in a broken world. So the reason why it is tool-centered is because you're going to come around the bend again of a new hurt, of a new step, of where you are acknowledging, claiming and living, and so a wholeness is to have this practice of understanding that you didn't start off broken, and so you're always kind of doing the what I call the emotional work right, because you're worth the emotional equity to dive into the process that it takes to go to put yourself back into like that whole state of mind. And the only way to do that is with God. Right, it is your partnership with God, because he knows what your whole looks like, he knows what your, he has the complete picture and in doing that with these practices, with these tools, it gives you the ability to show up as your whole self and not just a fragment version of you. 49:36 - Speaker 3 Wow, that's great. And where can people find your podcast? Where can they find out more about your book? Is it on your website? 49:43 - Speaker 1 Yeah, so my book is on my website, but my book is also on Amazon, right? So just look up Shattered Whole and Samura Jones and it will pop up my picture's on it, so and you're able to like look at it and it is very interactive. So I wrote it in a way where it sounds like me you were having a conversation and so I have questions for you, there's activities for you to do, and it is also ways to contact me as well. If you're like, hey, I want to go to go deeper, you know, with this you can absolutely do so. The podcast I actually have my third season coming out later on this year. 50:19 - Speaker 3 Wow, congratulations. Yes, thank you. 50:22 - Speaker 1 We took a little break, but I'm really, really excited about what's to come and what has happened. But you can definitely look back at older episodes. It's on YouTube, it's on Apple Podcasts and I believe it's on I don't know if it's still Anchor anymore, but it's on Heart Radio Podcast as well. So those are the places that you can go and find it, and I think the link is still through my social media as well. 50:49 - Speaker 3 Thank you so much, Samura. It has been such a pleasure to talk to you and we survived. We survived a 90 degree conversation in New York and I'm only a little bit sweaty. 51:08 - Speaker 1 Listen, I'm like watching it and I'm like I'm like it's starting to, but we made it, we did good. 51:19 We did it. We did it Well. Thank you, Samura. I really appreciate it. It's been really great. I really appreciate it. Same Thank you so much. Thank you for doing what you do the way that you do it. I got a chance to just like look through faithfully and we will be using you soon as we will be hiring very, very soon. So just look for the updates on the profile very soon. So just look for the look for the updates on the profile. But it is a really beautiful thing to know that there is a place where we can go to to really see ourselves in our community. So thank you for what you do and thank you for this podcast. It's very, very helpful to just have an understanding of, kind of like, what's going on amongst the city and our leaders and the needs that that we have and how we can collaborate together. So thank you so much for what you do. 51:58 - Speaker 3 Thank you. That is so encouraging to me. We will look out for those. Job posts Like those are job opportunities that ministry leaders do not want to miss. And our mobile app is coming out Samura September 1st. So after September 1st, you'll be able to have Faithly at your fingertips. 52:16 - Speaker 1 Love it. Congratulations. 52:18 - Speaker 3 Thank you. Thank you again, Samura. We'll have to talk soon. 52:22 - Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. 52:23 - Speaker 2 Thank you for tuning in to the Faithly Stories podcast. We pray this episode gave you the encouragement you needed to continue on your journey. The Faithly Stories podcast is brought to you by Faithly, an online community committed to empowering church leaders, pastors, staff and volunteers. The Faithly digital platform offers innovative and practical tools and resources to enhance connection, foster collaboration and promote growth within the church and ministry space. Remember to subscribe, rate and review our podcast to help reach more listeners like you. Stay tuned for more uplifting tales from the front lines of ministry on the Faithly podcast. Stay bold, stay faithful and never underestimate the power of your own story.