Life Beyond Labels - Kelsey O'Connor | Faithly Podcast

100:00:00.400 --> 00:00:05.560It was through some of those moments of having to be so still and so quiet and200:00:05.560 --> 00:00:10.460recovering to feel like no matter what I do going forward and regardless of300:00:10.460 --> 00:00:14.880what I didn't accomplish that I wanted to, like I'm still loved for who I am.400:00:22.760 --> 00:00:24.460This is The Faithly Podcast.500:00:26.080 --> 00:00:29.200Kelsey O'Connor, welcome to The Faithly Stories Podcast.600:00:29.880 --> 00:00:31.180Thank you for having me.700:00:31.220 --> 00:00:32.420I'm so excited to be here.800:00:33.000 --> 00:00:38.200You are a former D1 athlete, you're a motivational speaker, and you're a900:00:38.200 --> 00:00:38.720consultant.1000:00:39.720 --> 00:00:44.260And we'll talk about this later, but you had a commencement speech that went1100:00:44.260 --> 00:00:46.520viral to 70 million viewers.1200:00:46.760 --> 00:00:47.820But let's start at the beginning.1300:00:48.720 --> 00:00:54.440So being a Division I athlete, I'm curious, growing up in your early years, did1400:00:54.440 --> 00:00:58.560you always have a sense that sports would play this huge role in your life and1500:00:58.560 --> 00:00:59.120your identity?1600:01:00.500 --> 00:01:00.920I did.1700:01:01.100 --> 00:01:02.820Yes, I grew up in a big sports family.1800:01:03.920 --> 00:01:05.920My dad always worked in the sports industry.1900:01:06.360 --> 00:01:08.620My brother actually now has a career at ESPN.2000:01:08.840 --> 00:01:11.260And so we've always were like around sports, talked about it.2100:01:11.460 --> 00:01:14.180And really early on, I just, I grew up with two brothers.2200:01:14.420 --> 00:01:16.340So I loved being competitive.2300:01:16.780 --> 00:01:18.840I loved just playing outside with them.2400:01:19.080 --> 00:01:22.840And so really early, I just had my own love and passion for it and started2500:01:22.840 --> 00:01:24.460playing softball when I was about seven.2600:01:24.820 --> 00:01:28.620And then when I started playing travel and getting a little more serious around2700:01:28.620 --> 00:01:31.44010, 11, 12, I just loved it so much.2800:01:31.560 --> 00:01:35.800So I did kind of have an early idea that it was just part of my family and then2900:01:35.800 --> 00:01:37.700part of something that I love to do.3000:01:38.840 --> 00:01:43.140And what did it feel like for you that moment when you found out like it you're3100:01:43.140 --> 00:01:47.480going to be a D1 athlete, like it, like your dreams are coming true?3200:01:47.540 --> 00:01:48.560How did that feel for you?3300:01:48.980 --> 00:01:49.840Yeah, it was.3400:01:49.980 --> 00:01:50.840I mean, it was amazing.3500:01:50.840 --> 00:01:54.680Honestly, I had a really interesting process even to get to NC State, to be3600:01:54.680 --> 00:01:55.260honest with you.3700:01:55.460 --> 00:01:59.800Like I recruiting started very, very early for me, especially in the softball3800:01:59.800 --> 00:02:02.060world at the time, there wasn't regulation.3900:02:02.300 --> 00:02:05.540And so the recruiting process started as early as middle school.4000:02:05.740 --> 00:02:09.919So I was probably preparing for college longer than I was even in college of4100:02:09.919 --> 00:02:15.280sending emails, going to camps, getting really serious about it very, very4200:02:15.280 --> 00:02:18.260early and knowing that that was my dream to play Division I.4300:02:18.840 --> 00:02:23.140And then I actually committed to a school downtown Chicago that was Division I,4400:02:23.240 --> 00:02:24.340it was Loyola Chicago.4500:02:26.080 --> 00:02:29.240I think it was my sophomore year and that was kind of my decision.4600:02:29.480 --> 00:02:34.160And then over time realized that that wasn't the right fit overall and had a4700:02:34.160 --> 00:02:38.680really amicable, I called and decommitted from that school just knowing that it4800:02:38.680 --> 00:02:42.100wasn't the right fit for me anymore, because I decided at 14, 15 and then4900:02:42.100 --> 00:02:44.660changed what I wanted to study, where I wanted to be.5000:02:45.120 --> 00:02:48.660I mean, that coach was actually the first one to wish me congratulations when I5100:02:48.660 --> 00:02:50.240ultimately went to NC State instead.5200:02:51.020 --> 00:02:55.300But it was interesting because I left that really with an unknown ahead of me.5300:02:55.420 --> 00:02:57.640I didn't have any other schools that I was talking to.5400:02:57.700 --> 00:03:01.340Obviously, I was committed to this other one and wanted to repursue that dream,5500:03:01.420 --> 00:03:02.680but also find the right fit.5600:03:02.840 --> 00:03:07.220And so meaning that once I got to NC State, it was like the whole package.5700:03:07.220 --> 00:03:11.840It was a dream come true, not even just from softball and ACC and wanting to5800:03:11.840 --> 00:03:16.020commit to another large Division I school, but it also was just so perfect for5900:03:16.020 --> 00:03:17.000me in every other way.6000:03:17.120 --> 00:03:21.960And I felt like I was absolutely just handed this dream of everything that I6100:03:21.960 --> 00:03:25.160wanted in a school and in a place and in North Carolina.6200:03:25.380 --> 00:03:28.700So, I mean, it was just overwhelmingly amazing.6300:03:28.980 --> 00:03:30.340I was so filled.6400:03:30.680 --> 00:03:31.120Wow.6500:03:31.780 --> 00:03:35.680Well, thank you for sharing all that, because I think for those of us who are6600:03:35.680 --> 00:03:40.300not athletes who didn't grow up with this dream, I don't think we know what it6700:03:40.300 --> 00:03:40.800takes.6800:03:41.020 --> 00:03:44.460I mean, to know that you had to begin this process like emailing and reaching6900:03:44.460 --> 00:03:46.420out in middle school just blows my mind.7000:03:46.520 --> 00:03:50.320I mean, I remember what I was doing in middle school, and it wasn't pursuing a7100:03:50.320 --> 00:03:53.140dream in this methodical and really diligent way.7200:03:53.140 --> 00:03:53.860Well, thank you.7300:03:54.160 --> 00:03:54.780I appreciate that.7400:03:54.860 --> 00:03:55.740Yeah, I forget sometimes.7500:03:55.900 --> 00:04:00.300It's interesting being out of it now and looking back at just the whole7600:04:00.300 --> 00:04:05.560lifestyle of it and really loving parts of it and loving being past parts of7700:04:05.560 --> 00:04:10.760it, just the early mornings, the late nights, the emails, just the grind of it.7800:04:11.920 --> 00:04:14.840And yeah, really appreciating it and a lot of the young kids going through it7900:04:14.840 --> 00:04:15.040now.8000:04:15.180 --> 00:04:16.300But thank you for asking.8100:04:16.720 --> 00:04:23.040I think having a better understanding of the years-long process, really like8200:04:23.040 --> 00:04:28.360that happened in your adolescence to get to that place, it's no wonder that it8300:04:28.360 --> 00:04:34.140becomes the core of your identity because you're pursuing it with such intent8400:04:34.140 --> 00:04:34.980and intensity.8500:04:36.420 --> 00:04:38.300Let's talk about when this changed.8600:04:39.200 --> 00:04:42.300In 2021, everything changed.8700:04:42.620 --> 00:04:45.280You had an injury and a concussion.8800:04:45.820 --> 00:04:48.300What year were you in college at that point?8900:04:49.260 --> 00:04:49.780I was a junior.9000:04:50.960 --> 00:04:51.560Yes.9100:04:52.060 --> 00:04:53.940Oh, it's pretty crazy, actually.9200:04:54.100 --> 00:04:59.740You know, when you say it starts in adolescence and being a junior in college,9300:04:59.880 --> 00:05:01.840it feels like your whole world up to that point.9400:05:02.640 --> 00:05:06.880Majority percentage of your life is playing this game, dreaming about it.9500:05:07.960 --> 00:05:11.760I had actually had multiple head injuries throughout high school and9600:05:11.760 --> 00:05:12.760concussions before.9700:05:13.560 --> 00:05:15.640And so, yeah, in 2021, I was a junior.9800:05:16.480 --> 00:05:19.900And in the fall of my junior year, we were practicing.9900:05:20.840 --> 00:05:23.020And it was a routine practice.10000:05:23.020 --> 00:05:24.020I was running bases.10100:05:24.280 --> 00:05:25.520We had some girls in the field.10200:05:25.860 --> 00:05:30.320My coach hit the ball to the shortstop to do a routine double play.10300:05:30.960 --> 00:05:34.900And as I was running from first base to second base, I was just going in to10400:05:34.900 --> 00:05:36.020slide to second base.10500:05:36.480 --> 00:05:40.060And our shortstop, instead of making a lane on either side of the base path,10600:05:40.140 --> 00:05:41.160just came straight through.10700:05:41.920 --> 00:05:46.640And so as I was sliding, she just came full force, like, knee first straight10800:05:46.640 --> 00:05:50.140into my face on the base path.10900:05:51.020 --> 00:05:51.120Man.11000:05:51.880 --> 00:05:57.180So did you know in that moment that it would be a life alter?11100:05:57.280 --> 00:05:59.000I think deep down I did.11200:05:59.480 --> 00:06:02.820I felt, especially looking back, I felt the shift.11300:06:02.920 --> 00:06:04.840And I just knew that it was different.11400:06:05.080 --> 00:06:08.800And I knew it was so intense so fast.11500:06:09.020 --> 00:06:11.980And the pain was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.11600:06:12.180 --> 00:06:14.300And as I mentioned, it's really crazy.11700:06:14.420 --> 00:06:17.560I mean, my high school experience, I'd had multiple concussions.11800:06:17.900 --> 00:06:20.200I had been to specialists.11900:06:20.500 --> 00:06:23.220I had been through months of rehab and therapy.12000:06:23.420 --> 00:06:28.160I'd done all the regular symptoms of the lights are too bright, the noises are12100:06:28.160 --> 00:06:29.240too loud kind of thing.12200:06:29.360 --> 00:06:33.060And when this one happened, it was just so immediate and everything was12300:06:33.060 --> 00:06:33.400spinning.12400:06:33.760 --> 00:06:35.300And I just knew.12500:06:36.260 --> 00:06:38.580And I got hit in that moment.12600:06:39.160 --> 00:06:41.660I kind of stumbled off the field.12700:06:41.780 --> 00:06:45.460I don't have like, I can remember it and don't at the same time.12800:06:47.300 --> 00:06:50.840And it was at the same time, it was very gradual and abrupt ending because I12900:06:50.840 --> 00:06:55.620was denying it for a while, obviously, that it was gonna be this life altering13000:06:55.620 --> 00:06:56.680and thinking I could come back.13100:06:56.820 --> 00:06:59.980But also, you know, over the next six weeks, it was just really apparent.13200:07:00.240 --> 00:07:01.520And I think I knew in that moment.13300:07:01.640 --> 00:07:05.940But then over time, pretty immediately, I just had to pause everything,13400:07:06.120 --> 00:07:07.120especially with the head injury.13500:07:07.300 --> 00:07:11.500I mean, it really is like, you can't have a lot of stimulus around you, you13600:07:11.500 --> 00:07:13.460have to just sit in a dark room for a while.13700:07:13.560 --> 00:07:16.660That's kind of what they recommend is just letting time pass.13800:07:17.500 --> 00:07:19.080And so I was really fortunate.13900:07:19.260 --> 00:07:23.600My family had actually moved from I was from Illinois, they moved to North14000:07:23.600 --> 00:07:25.560Carolina, they were 15 minutes away from me.14100:07:25.880 --> 00:07:28.820So I had this injury, and I was able to spend some time at home.14200:07:29.100 --> 00:07:31.120And my professors were fantastic.14300:07:31.280 --> 00:07:36.220My academic support was fantastic, and was able to take some of that time.14400:07:36.380 --> 00:07:40.380But I never experienced some of the symptoms, like cognitively that I did with14500:07:40.380 --> 00:07:40.880this injury.14600:07:41.000 --> 00:07:44.840So pretty fast, I was really struggling to read, I was seeing kind of double,14700:07:45.000 --> 00:07:45.840everything was blurry.14800:07:46.280 --> 00:07:47.580I was struggling to write.14900:07:48.420 --> 00:07:49.920I was like confused.15000:07:49.920 --> 00:07:51.940I was in this like constant state of confusion.15100:07:52.080 --> 00:07:55.600I mean, even over the course of a couple months, I was forgetting things about15200:07:55.600 --> 00:08:00.680myself or I was getting lost or I had thoughts and I couldn't articulate them15300:08:00.680 --> 00:08:01.600for the life of me.15400:08:01.660 --> 00:08:06.660I was like stuttering through my words and that on top of the physical15500:08:06.660 --> 00:08:07.160symptoms.15600:08:07.320 --> 00:08:09.640So it was a head and a neck and a jaw injury at one time.15700:08:09.820 --> 00:08:15.060So fractured and dislocated my jaw, had braces put on for the second time, was15800:08:15.060 --> 00:08:19.000seeing a specialist for like nerve damage I already had in my neck from the15900:08:19.000 --> 00:08:21.800first concussions and just seeing all these doctors and doing all these things16000:08:21.800 --> 00:08:25.320and being kind of isolated and really trying to make it through school.16100:08:25.420 --> 00:08:28.580And then at this point, I was starting to get emails that I was failing my16200:08:28.580 --> 00:08:31.240classes and maybe not going to make it through school.16300:08:32.200 --> 00:08:36.539And so all of that kind of at one time was really apparent to me that it was16400:08:36.539 --> 00:08:38.640going to be, you know, life changing, life altering.16500:08:38.780 --> 00:08:43.560And ultimately, I medically retired after about six, seven weeks.16600:08:43.780 --> 00:08:49.620And then I was in a car accident a week later and very fortunately, like walked16700:08:49.620 --> 00:08:52.800away for the most part, but suffered whiplash, which like sent my recovery all16800:08:52.800 --> 00:08:53.400the way back.16900:08:54.000 --> 00:08:57.180And so it was like a second impact syndrome, post-concussion syndrome, like17000:08:57.180 --> 00:08:59.520everything went back to square one.17100:08:59.700 --> 00:09:04.660And that recovery, that's why it became so, so long and so life altering is17200:09:04.660 --> 00:09:07.000that back-to-back injury.17300:09:08.260 --> 00:09:15.360So you are so strong, like you have such a resilience and such a, I think, just17400:09:15.360 --> 00:09:18.500a deeply seeded like joy and effervescence about you.17500:09:18.580 --> 00:09:21.940Like even the first time that I met you that it's so hard for me to imagine17600:09:21.940 --> 00:09:25.560what it must have felt like for you, especially after that second injury.17700:09:26.940 --> 00:09:32.840Talk to me a little bit about like what it was like to be, to have suffered17800:09:32.840 --> 00:09:36.320this like second injury as you were trying to recover from the injury on the17900:09:36.320 --> 00:09:36.700field.18000:09:38.520 --> 00:09:39.640It was devastating.18100:09:39.900 --> 00:09:44.900I think that was probably my lowest point was already having, and those like18200:09:44.900 --> 00:09:48.760six weeks, it seems so fast when you think of six weeks and just regular18300:09:48.760 --> 00:09:49.340context.18400:09:49.400 --> 00:09:52.360And like in that time, it just moved like molasses.18500:09:52.600 --> 00:09:55.260When I tell, when I explain it to people, I almost tell them like, imagine18600:09:55.260 --> 00:09:59.160you're getting on an airplane with no phone, no book, no music, and you just18700:09:59.160 --> 00:10:00.680have to sit there and let time pass.18800:10:00.740 --> 00:10:01.980Like that's how long it feels.18900:10:02.500 --> 00:10:06.280So, and for someone who's like on the go, you're like, you're balancing19000:10:06.280 --> 00:10:10.940academics with like a really, a really demanding athletic career.19100:10:11.160 --> 00:10:14.760Like you're used to things being like go, go, go all the time.19200:10:14.780 --> 00:10:15.080Right.19300:10:15.400 --> 00:10:18.400And then you go to the, how long did you have to spend in the hospital after19400:10:18.400 --> 00:10:19.600the field injury?19500:10:20.500 --> 00:10:26.500I was really lucky I wasn't like hospitalized, hospitalized, which was good.19600:10:26.560 --> 00:10:29.860It was more so just like going in for like the MRIs and things like that.19700:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.260But then you go home and you said, it's kind of like a waiting game, right?19800:10:33.280 --> 00:10:35.080You have to just let time do its work.19900:10:35.720 --> 00:10:36.420Yes, exactly.20000:10:36.620 --> 00:10:36.860Yeah.20100:10:38.360 --> 00:10:38.720Yeah.20200:10:38.740 --> 00:10:39.860So I was really lucky on that front.20300:10:39.920 --> 00:10:42.980Like I wasn't in the hospital for days and all of those things.20400:10:43.020 --> 00:10:45.980And I know, you know, people I've gotten to talk to through this work that have20500:10:45.980 --> 00:10:48.280had like truly injuries like that.20600:10:49.060 --> 00:10:51.700But the car accident, especially, I mean, it was just devastating because I20700:10:51.700 --> 00:10:56.680had, I just reached this breaking point in general of feeling like I lost my20800:10:56.680 --> 00:11:00.200athletic identity and this dream that I'd worked my entire life for up to this20900:11:00.200 --> 00:11:00.540point.21000:11:00.780 --> 00:11:07.320And as a young girl, I felt like my family invested in me all of this time and21100:11:07.320 --> 00:11:07.860travel.21200:11:08.080 --> 00:11:11.400And I mean, I would wake up at four in the morning and a softball was on my21300:11:11.400 --> 00:11:13.540mind all day, like putting things together.21400:11:13.860 --> 00:11:15.620And that part of me was gone.21500:11:16.000 --> 00:11:19.760And then academically, I also was really proud of how I balanced things.21600:11:19.900 --> 00:11:21.640And I was really involved in the school.21700:11:21.800 --> 00:11:24.720I was like an honor student and just involved in a lot of different things,21800:11:24.780 --> 00:11:27.740doing research and really lucky to be part of all those things.21900:11:27.860 --> 00:11:28.780And that was gone.22000:11:28.840 --> 00:11:33.620And I felt like part of my identity is just feeling like I was intelligent and22100:11:33.620 --> 00:11:37.360smart and contributing to the school was also gone because now I was failing.22200:11:37.560 --> 00:11:39.500And I didn't even know if I was going to finish school.22300:11:39.820 --> 00:11:44.440And I wanted to be a social worker, which requires finishing school, obviously.22400:11:44.620 --> 00:11:48.100So I didn't even know if that was going to be an option for me anymore.22500:11:48.280 --> 00:11:50.760So my career was kind of unknown.22600:11:51.160 --> 00:11:53.860And then even just as a person, I had such emotional symptoms.22700:11:53.860 --> 00:11:55.820I was just going through all of this at one time.22800:11:55.980 --> 00:11:59.780And especially with concussions, you can just have really enhanced mood swings.22900:11:59.920 --> 00:12:01.200And I was a wreck.23000:12:01.360 --> 00:12:03.400I was yelling at my family.23100:12:03.480 --> 00:12:04.060I was crying.23200:12:04.120 --> 00:12:05.700I was forgetting everything that I said.23300:12:05.880 --> 00:12:10.460I couldn't even articulate myself very well because my brain was just a puzzle23400:12:10.460 --> 00:12:11.680that was just so jumbled.23500:12:11.920 --> 00:12:14.560And I felt like every piece of my identity was gone.23600:12:14.720 --> 00:12:18.400And so to feel like I was holding onto this little ounce of hope of getting23700:12:18.400 --> 00:12:22.680better each day and then kind of to get knocked back down, just felt like, why23800:12:22.680 --> 00:12:23.400is this happening?23900:12:23.580 --> 00:12:25.500What am I not learning that I'm supposed to?24000:12:25.660 --> 00:12:26.260What did I...24100:12:26.260 --> 00:12:30.440Almost like you blame yourself because you have no other reason that explains24200:12:30.440 --> 00:12:30.780it.24300:12:31.000 --> 00:12:37.960But at the same time, it really was kind of a catapult to help me figure out24400:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.540what it is I could control and how I was going to move forward.24500:12:40.780 --> 00:12:43.980But that's such a good question, though, because I think a lot of people24600:12:43.980 --> 00:12:48.380experience that moment in one way or another, whether it's a life-changing loss24700:12:48.380 --> 00:12:50.060or injury or change.24800:12:50.580 --> 00:12:54.360Well, so you're obviously in a very, very different place today.24900:12:56.060 --> 00:12:58.280What was the turning point for you?25000:12:58.520 --> 00:13:03.760How did you go from devastation and loss of a multifaceted identity, right?25100:13:03.820 --> 00:13:06.960Not just as one, like not just one identity as an athlete.25200:13:07.460 --> 00:13:09.800How did you start to move out of that?25300:13:11.160 --> 00:13:13.980Yeah, I love how you said start to move out of it because it really was a25400:13:13.980 --> 00:13:14.280process.25500:13:14.700 --> 00:13:17.680And it's funny, actually, when I was preparing for this interview, I was25600:13:17.680 --> 00:13:20.460looking through some of my old journals because sometimes it just helps me to25700:13:20.460 --> 00:13:22.000be able to look back.25800:13:22.120 --> 00:13:23.960And of course, I'm such a different place now.25900:13:24.160 --> 00:13:29.700And it really was I took the time that I needed to miss softball and miss who I26000:13:29.700 --> 00:13:30.280used to be.26100:13:30.400 --> 00:13:34.200And just like if I wasn't going to get better, I didn't know how much I was26200:13:34.200 --> 00:13:36.320going to recover or if I would be the same person.26300:13:36.500 --> 00:13:41.480And then over that time, my family and kind of stepping outside of myself and26400:13:41.480 --> 00:13:44.460realizing that I might not be my old self, but I could still be a really great26500:13:44.460 --> 00:13:45.480version of myself.26600:13:46.520 --> 00:13:48.740And that's when I really I wrote it down on my phone.26700:13:48.840 --> 00:13:52.140I made this resolution of like starting to describe other people differently.26800:13:52.380 --> 00:13:56.120And I thought if I'm going to rebuild a healthier identity for myself, I'm26900:13:56.120 --> 00:13:59.760really struggling to show myself compassion because I just I feel like I27000:13:59.760 --> 00:14:00.180failed.27100:14:00.300 --> 00:14:01.400I don't know how to go forward.27200:14:01.600 --> 00:14:05.600But the people in my life were so wonderful, my family, my professors, my27300:14:05.600 --> 00:14:08.720doctors, and I thought I'm going to start changing the way that I describe them27400:14:08.720 --> 00:14:09.520and I see them.27500:14:10.120 --> 00:14:12.320And that will maybe change the way that I see myself.27600:14:12.600 --> 00:14:15.980And so I wrote it down on my phone that I was going to start describing people27700:14:15.980 --> 00:14:19.280by their attitude, how they treat other people, and just what makes them27800:14:19.280 --> 00:14:19.700unique.27900:14:20.800 --> 00:14:25.620And like my mom, my brothers, and just describing them for their energy and28000:14:25.620 --> 00:14:30.440their hearts and how positive they are, but also sensitive they are and how28100:14:30.440 --> 00:14:33.980they treat others with such respect and they light up rooms with their energy.28200:14:34.160 --> 00:14:37.720And so just describing them in that way really helped me to start to see my own28300:14:37.720 --> 00:14:40.840qualities and all the qualities that I developed through the things that I was28400:14:40.840 --> 00:14:41.120doing.28500:14:41.280 --> 00:14:46.920So I didn't have but I developed a resiliency and a dedication that was going28600:14:46.920 --> 00:14:48.120to be able to stick with me forever.28700:14:48.320 --> 00:14:49.840I could just apply it to new things.28800:14:50.380 --> 00:14:53.620And that really helped me to see those qualities that I had built up and decide28900:14:53.620 --> 00:14:55.640what it was I wanted to apply them to next.29000:14:56.300 --> 00:15:00.800And it just really, it changed the way that I saw myself and the world and the29100:15:00.800 --> 00:15:02.960people around me in this beautiful way.29200:15:03.040 --> 00:15:07.100And I just had so much more gratitude and appreciation for all of the good29300:15:07.100 --> 00:15:10.140things and the support I was receiving and what I did still have.29400:15:10.820 --> 00:15:14.980And ultimately taking some of those things and applying them through some of my29500:15:14.980 --> 00:15:18.340work in social work or internships, I really wanted to step outside of myself.29600:15:18.620 --> 00:15:21.540And so I was doing a lot of volunteering or stuff in the community.29700:15:21.540 --> 00:15:26.080And that really gave me a purpose to kind of see bigger picture, allow time to29800:15:26.080 --> 00:15:29.400pass, gain experiences outside of this bubble that I was in.29900:15:29.620 --> 00:15:33.760And so just really that resolution and commitment to seeing other people and30000:15:33.760 --> 00:15:37.540myself differently and then also step outside my comfort zone and meet new30100:15:37.540 --> 00:15:41.600people and be open to that kind of side by side was really that process of30200:15:41.600 --> 00:15:42.280moving forward.30300:15:42.660 --> 00:15:42.800Wow.30400:15:43.020 --> 00:15:44.800Thank you for sharing all of that.30500:15:45.020 --> 00:15:46.360It's a journey, right?30600:15:46.500 --> 00:15:48.060And it takes time.30700:15:48.140 --> 00:15:52.240And what I heard you say was that you had to grieve who you were first.30800:15:52.320 --> 00:15:54.100There's no rushing past that process.30900:15:54.100 --> 00:15:55.700You have to properly grieve it.31000:15:56.100 --> 00:15:59.380And then I sort of heard you say when you were talking about like seeing the31100:15:59.380 --> 00:16:04.480qualities of other people, I heard you tap into your gratitude for them, which31200:16:04.480 --> 00:16:08.640allowed you to tap into your gratitude for yourself and to show yourself that31300:16:08.640 --> 00:16:13.280like kindness and compassion that you clearly have in spades for all of those31400:16:13.280 --> 00:16:14.060around you.31500:16:15.000 --> 00:16:15.600Wow.31600:16:15.760 --> 00:16:17.720So thank you again for sharing all of that.31700:16:18.440 --> 00:16:23.840Can I ask you, what role did your faith play in this whole process?31800:16:26.540 --> 00:16:26.980Absolutely.31900:16:26.980 --> 00:16:32.720My faith is like the core of all of this whole story and who I am.32000:16:32.860 --> 00:16:37.560And I love this question because I had a strong faith before this injury.32100:16:37.760 --> 00:16:40.020And it was one of those things where I had heard it.32200:16:40.140 --> 00:16:42.400I had felt it where my identity is in Christ.32300:16:42.620 --> 00:16:43.900It's not in what I do.32400:16:43.980 --> 00:16:44.700It's who I am.32500:16:45.360 --> 00:16:49.360And then when this happened, I felt like I was like really faced with it in32600:16:49.360 --> 00:16:49.800reality.32700:16:49.800 --> 00:16:51.740And I remember I had this moment.32800:16:51.860 --> 00:16:56.320I was sitting on my floor in the dark, just trying to recover.32900:16:56.640 --> 00:16:59.520I was just feeling the whole way of this.33000:16:59.620 --> 00:17:04.540And I remember feeling like, yes, my identity is in Christ, but this is where I33100:17:04.540 --> 00:17:05.400spent all my time.33200:17:05.599 --> 00:17:07.280This is what I was contributing to the world.33300:17:07.500 --> 00:17:09.280This is what I was doing.33400:17:09.400 --> 00:17:10.640This is where all my friends were.33500:17:11.000 --> 00:17:15.140Who am I without all of this?33600:17:15.140 --> 00:17:20.000And I did feel like when they talk about, you know, having faith the size of a33700:17:20.000 --> 00:17:22.140mustard seed, like that is the size that I felt.33800:17:22.339 --> 00:17:24.200And yet I also felt loved.33900:17:24.240 --> 00:17:29.480And I felt like it was through some of those moments of having to be so still34000:17:29.480 --> 00:17:35.280and so quiet and recovering to feel like no matter what I do going forward and34100:17:35.280 --> 00:17:39.720regardless of what I didn't accomplish that I wanted to, like I'm still loved34200:17:39.720 --> 00:17:40.700for who I am.34300:17:40.860 --> 00:17:45.420And then really going into, well, who has God created me to be?34400:17:45.480 --> 00:17:46.520Who is he calling me to be?34500:17:46.600 --> 00:17:50.140And that's kind of where some of those things came from as well in terms of34600:17:50.140 --> 00:17:53.800attitude and how we treat other people and what makes us unique and feeling34700:17:53.800 --> 00:17:57.980like, and I can still control my attitude and God calls me to be kind to other34800:17:57.980 --> 00:18:03.340people and compassionate and use some of this unique experiences and education34900:18:03.340 --> 00:18:04.760and things that he's gifted me.35000:18:05.000 --> 00:18:08.920I still have that and I can go find some meaning in that.35100:18:09.000 --> 00:18:16.540And so honestly, you know, knowing that just Jesus knows all of who you are and35200:18:16.540 --> 00:18:21.420feeling like I didn't, I'm known by him, so I don't need to be known by35300:18:21.420 --> 00:18:21.920everybody.35400:18:22.120 --> 00:18:25.780And I didn't come back on the field and win all these accolades, but really35500:18:25.780 --> 00:18:29.400putting to the test, like what that means to have identity in Christ, but also35600:18:29.400 --> 00:18:33.620take responsibility and action for like who I'm called to be and creating35700:18:33.620 --> 00:18:36.460meaning out of it and making, turning it into something beautiful.35800:18:36.600 --> 00:18:39.460I don't know why it happened or what the case was, but just turning it into35900:18:39.460 --> 00:18:40.080something meaningful.36000:18:40.280 --> 00:18:43.080And then he absolutely blessed me in so many ways.36100:18:43.220 --> 00:18:47.660I feel like I was introduced to people and met people and obviously the speech36200:18:47.660 --> 00:18:50.580ended up happening and just all of these wonderful, beautiful things.36300:18:50.820 --> 00:18:55.780And I think my faith just carried me through that really slow time day by day,36400:18:55.880 --> 00:18:59.960just trusting and hoping in an outcome that I couldn't see or not even an36500:18:59.960 --> 00:19:02.380outcome, but just a lightness and a joy.36600:19:02.460 --> 00:19:06.440And I would just kind of sit and envision myself being joyful when I wasn't and36700:19:06.440 --> 00:19:09.280knowing that my goal was to get back to being a joyful person.36800:19:09.420 --> 00:19:10.760And that was really the only goal.36900:19:11.860 --> 00:19:19.520Well, the presence of God is so apparent and so alive in you and your story.37000:19:20.140 --> 00:19:21.540So thank you for sharing that.37100:19:21.640 --> 00:19:26.260I mean, I think what you learned in just your first 20 years of life, because37200:19:26.260 --> 00:19:28.720at this point you were probably about 20, right?37300:19:28.800 --> 00:19:28.980I was 20.37400:19:29.060 --> 00:19:29.380Yeah.37500:19:30.040 --> 00:19:35.020For some people, it's something they learn when they're 40 or 50 or 60.37600:19:35.560 --> 00:19:42.600So I think it's a beautiful gift to be able to know the Lord in that way and to37700:19:42.600 --> 00:19:45.060understand that your life is that way.37800:19:45.120 --> 00:19:50.380But it's a hard one lesson, one that came with a lot of pain and a lot of37900:19:50.380 --> 00:19:50.800trauma.38000:19:51.900 --> 00:19:54.880All right, now let's fast forward to 2023.38100:19:56.040 --> 00:19:58.560You've earned your degree in social work.38200:19:58.560 --> 00:20:06.060And then you're standing in front of almost 20,000 people delivering your38300:20:06.060 --> 00:20:07.120commencement speech.38400:20:08.080 --> 00:20:10.980Tell us, what brought you to that place?38500:20:11.100 --> 00:20:13.240Like, why were you the one to give the commencement speech?38600:20:13.300 --> 00:20:14.840And then tell us what happened after.38700:20:15.240 --> 00:20:15.740Oh my gosh.38800:20:15.900 --> 00:20:17.100Yeah, so it was really crazy.38900:20:17.340 --> 00:20:20.840I mean, so by the grace of God, I was able to recover after about like 10, 1139000:20:20.840 --> 00:20:21.220months.39100:20:21.320 --> 00:20:23.480And at this point, I was heading into my senior year.39200:20:23.660 --> 00:20:27.300So I ended up having a few months of the senior year that were just incredible.39300:20:27.500 --> 00:20:29.280I felt really involved in my community.39400:20:29.960 --> 00:20:35.600My family was truly the ones to help me get back on track with education and39500:20:35.600 --> 00:20:36.140all these things.39600:20:36.340 --> 00:20:40.660And so in March, what NC State does is they email students and they have an39700:20:40.660 --> 00:20:44.440application where you can write a speech, record yourself, and then apply to39800:20:44.440 --> 00:20:45.340speak at the big commencement.39900:20:46.640 --> 00:20:51.580And so I mean, I was sitting on my floors midnight and I got this email and it40000:20:51.580 --> 00:20:53.380was kind of a combination of things.40100:20:53.520 --> 00:20:59.720Number one, I kind of I had wanted to share this resolution that I felt like I40200:20:59.720 --> 00:21:03.740had found because I also felt like other people could feel it too in the sense40300:21:03.740 --> 00:21:06.960that we always get asked about what we do and what we're doing after.40400:21:07.220 --> 00:21:09.840And yet I had been around so many resilient, wonderful people.40500:21:10.280 --> 00:21:14.220And like they deserve to celebrate their intrinsic qualities too.40600:21:15.020 --> 00:21:18.340I also, my family was coming, but they weren't coming to some of the small one.40700:21:18.420 --> 00:21:19.560They were coming to the big ceremony.40800:21:19.560 --> 00:21:23.100And I thought, oh my gosh, how cool would it be if something personal was there40900:21:23.100 --> 00:21:24.960for them versus just the big ceremony?41000:21:25.780 --> 00:21:30.320And so I basically, I decided to write the speech and I recorded it.41100:21:30.360 --> 00:21:32.120I recorded it in a t-shirt.41200:21:32.260 --> 00:21:33.580I still had braces at this point.41300:21:33.680 --> 00:21:34.540I was on my floor.41400:21:34.700 --> 00:21:35.420It's like blurry.41500:21:35.620 --> 00:21:36.420It's a blurry video.41600:21:36.800 --> 00:21:41.900I did it in two takes and I sent it in and I didn't, I told my mom that was41700:21:41.900 --> 00:21:42.100it.41800:21:42.180 --> 00:21:42.860I didn't tell anybody.41900:21:43.060 --> 00:21:46.260And then they called me a few weeks later and told me that they had chosen me.42000:21:46.820 --> 00:21:50.140And I honestly was like, should I take it?42100:21:50.200 --> 00:21:50.900Should I say yes?42200:21:50.980 --> 00:21:52.840Like, I don't want to do these people a disservice.42300:21:53.180 --> 00:21:55.660Like 20,000 people, I've never spoken publicly before.42400:21:55.800 --> 00:21:56.440This is crazy.42500:21:56.640 --> 00:22:00.220And ultimately just decided to go for it and do it.42600:22:00.360 --> 00:22:02.260And my gosh, just incredible.42700:22:03.760 --> 00:22:09.360Um, so what would you have said if someone told you before you gave the speech42800:22:09.360 --> 00:22:12.680that 70 million people would watch your speech?42900:22:12.760 --> 00:22:13.560What would you have said?43000:22:13.560 --> 00:22:15.880I wouldn't, I would have said like, that's crazy.43100:22:16.120 --> 00:22:19.120I would have said that that's insane because yeah, I mean, so I did the speech43200:22:19.120 --> 00:22:23.940and like on the day of, I, I laugh with myself because I was almost kind of43300:22:23.940 --> 00:22:25.240blacked out of like nerves.43400:22:25.380 --> 00:22:29.480I mean, walking up to 20,000 people last year, I couldn't make it through a43500:22:29.480 --> 00:22:29.820discussion.43600:22:29.940 --> 00:22:31.480And so it goes really well.43700:22:31.480 --> 00:22:32.280And I felt so loved.43800:22:32.320 --> 00:22:34.860And then it was a month before I decided to post it.43900:22:35.500 --> 00:22:37.400And when I posted it.44000:22:37.620 --> 00:22:37.960Okay.44100:22:37.980 --> 00:22:38.800So where did you post it?44200:22:38.820 --> 00:22:39.720Did you post it on YouTube?44300:22:40.200 --> 00:22:41.140I posted it on TikTok.44400:22:41.420 --> 00:22:41.780On TikTok.44500:22:42.020 --> 00:22:42.280Okay.44600:22:42.280 --> 00:22:47.160And then a Facebook pop culture group, like Ladbible pop culture asked, like44700:22:47.160 --> 00:22:49.300picked it up and then it just went everywhere.44800:22:49.440 --> 00:22:53.800And it was all over their Facebook, other Facebooks, YouTube, like just kind of44900:22:53.800 --> 00:22:55.220everybody took and ran with it.45000:22:56.000 --> 00:22:59.080And, um, my gosh, just incredible.45100:22:59.240 --> 00:23:02.420I, I had no idea that it would have that kind of reach.45200:23:02.440 --> 00:23:07.060And I've been, it's been like most like humbling experience of my life that so45300:23:07.060 --> 00:23:10.340many people felt, felt it and resonated with it.45400:23:10.340 --> 00:23:10.580Yeah.45500:23:10.680 --> 00:23:12.720I would have told you that that's, that's crazy.45600:23:13.600 --> 00:23:17.180Well, so, um, it sounds like it didn't happen all at one time.45700:23:17.240 --> 00:23:20.500Like it's not like you gave the speech and overnight 70 million people saw it.45800:23:20.620 --> 00:23:24.460It sounds like it was a somewhat gradual process where like you shared it here45900:23:24.460 --> 00:23:29.140and then it got shared and shared and shared, um, as it was being shared, like46000:23:29.140 --> 00:23:31.920you had this time to like develop feelings about it.46100:23:31.920 --> 00:23:32.160Right.46200:23:32.480 --> 00:23:37.020Did you feel really happy it was being shared or did you also like, I just put46300:23:37.020 --> 00:23:40.700myself in your shoes and I can imagine being a little fearful and maybe even46400:23:40.700 --> 00:23:42.240like, what do all these people think of me?46500:23:42.280 --> 00:23:43.260They don't even know me.46600:23:44.300 --> 00:23:44.660Yeah.46700:23:44.800 --> 00:23:45.260Oh my gosh.46800:23:45.300 --> 00:23:46.260You know, it was such a process.46900:23:46.440 --> 00:23:47.640So it was really interesting.47000:23:47.840 --> 00:23:51.320I had that month after the speech, but when I posted on Tik TOK, it did go47100:23:51.320 --> 00:23:52.340viral pretty instantly.47200:23:52.560 --> 00:23:55.960Like I woke up with hundreds of messages and it was my first post ever on Tik47300:23:55.960 --> 00:23:56.140TOK.47400:23:56.240 --> 00:23:57.720I never posted a video on Tik TOK.47500:23:58.120 --> 00:23:58.220Yeah.47600:23:58.380 --> 00:23:59.280So I was like, whoa.47700:24:00.220 --> 00:24:02.300Um, and that was pretty crazy.47800:24:02.460 --> 00:24:06.260And then the fact that it was like day after day after day, and it was pretty47900:24:06.260 --> 00:24:10.660steady viral over two weeks, like over two weeks, it was at like the 9 million,48000:24:10.980 --> 00:24:11.120whatever.48100:24:11.440 --> 00:24:11.580Wow.48200:24:11.700 --> 00:24:13.400So it was like really fast in that sense.48300:24:13.460 --> 00:24:15.780And then I got the email from some of the pop culture.48400:24:15.900 --> 00:24:17.700And at that point, I was just so grateful.48500:24:17.700 --> 00:24:21.160Like anybody who wanted to share it, I was like, please, absolutely.48600:24:21.320 --> 00:24:23.940Like if it reaches somebody and it helps them, like that's the whole point.48700:24:23.940 --> 00:24:24.840People ask you permission.48800:24:25.000 --> 00:24:27.580That's pretty unusual in social media, isn't it?48900:24:27.620 --> 00:24:27.780Yeah.49000:24:27.780 --> 00:24:28.620It was really kind.49100:24:28.760 --> 00:24:28.920Yeah.49200:24:28.960 --> 00:24:31.840There's been some people that I've asked to, to quote it.49300:24:31.900 --> 00:24:35.960I just had somebody this last weekend who, um, reached out to me a year ago,49400:24:36.120 --> 00:24:40.480asked to quote it at this big event they were doing and, um, was telling me all49500:24:40.480 --> 00:24:40.840about it.49600:24:40.880 --> 00:24:41.500So really kind.49700:24:41.620 --> 00:24:41.720Yeah.49800:24:41.720 --> 00:24:44.860Some people have, have asked permission and, and that's when it took off on49900:24:44.860 --> 00:24:46.260Facebook and then it just went everywhere.50000:24:46.260 --> 00:24:50.000And so, but like you were saying as well, I mean, I really thought that at some50100:24:50.000 --> 00:24:53.780point it would die down and obviously it's not, I'm not waking up to hundreds50200:24:53.780 --> 00:24:58.460of messages, but I mean, even two years later, I have messages in my inbox or50300:24:58.460 --> 00:25:02.300comments or reposts and people that are just finding it.50400:25:02.620 --> 00:25:04.700And that's been pretty incredible.50500:25:05.220 --> 00:25:07.460It's led to all of the speaking opportunities that I've done.50600:25:07.660 --> 00:25:11.060So basically I went viral and then I started getting messages from people50700:25:11.060 --> 00:25:16.500inviting me to events and to speak at conferences and universities and50800:25:16.500 --> 00:25:21.360businesses and kind of inviting me just all over to come share this message or50900:25:21.360 --> 00:25:23.760this message in a longer format and tell more of my story.51000:25:23.960 --> 00:25:28.380And I was at a point where I was, I was able to say yes to all of them and51100:25:28.380 --> 00:25:29.700it was so incredible.51200:25:29.980 --> 00:25:30.100Yeah.51300:25:30.120 --> 00:25:33.100It was this gradual almost building of a career as well.51400:25:33.240 --> 00:25:38.100And I knew that I knew the virality would change, but seeing that it's led into51500:25:38.100 --> 00:25:42.340something genuinely sustainable and being able to travel and speak to people51600:25:42.340 --> 00:25:45.640about this message and also seeing that it's continuing to reach people, it's51700:25:45.640 --> 00:25:47.360just, it's the most incredible thing.51800:25:47.460 --> 00:25:50.380I just feel so grateful and humble about it.51900:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.860I just had no idea that it would reach people all over the world.52000:25:52.860 --> 00:25:53.520Wow.52100:25:53.920 --> 00:25:55.860Well, so, but you were a woman with a plan.52200:25:56.140 --> 00:26:01.360Like you had a degree in social work, you had a plan for your career, but then52300:26:01.360 --> 00:26:03.520this video takes off, you get these invitations.52400:26:04.300 --> 00:26:09.740Was there a moment where you said, oh gosh, like this might actually be my52500:26:09.740 --> 00:26:10.140calling?52600:26:11.160 --> 00:26:13.960Like how, how was that, what would that discernment process look like for you?52700:26:14.040 --> 00:26:14.140Yeah.52800:26:14.140 --> 00:26:15.680Oh my gosh, that's a fantastic question.52900:26:15.880 --> 00:26:18.000So it's, I was really lucky.53000:26:18.040 --> 00:26:22.600I was taking a gap year after my undergrad because I had applied to some53100:26:22.600 --> 00:26:24.060schools, but I didn't get in.53200:26:24.320 --> 00:26:28.540And so I knew that I wanted to go back to school eventually, but I had this gap53300:26:28.540 --> 00:26:31.580year and that really afforded me the opportunities when I was invited to speak53400:26:31.580 --> 00:26:32.380to go say yes.53500:26:32.680 --> 00:26:33.920And there was that moment, right?53600:26:33.960 --> 00:26:35.300I was 21 years old.53700:26:35.440 --> 00:26:38.760And so going viral on TikTok, I mean, all the possibilities were in my head.53800:26:38.840 --> 00:26:43.620And I thought, should I be capitalizing on this and like becoming more of a53900:26:43.620 --> 00:26:44.040presence?54000:26:44.060 --> 00:26:49.020Do I want to continue to go the sports psychology, social work route?54100:26:49.180 --> 00:26:51.220Do I just focus on public speaking?54200:26:51.460 --> 00:26:52.940Like where am I supposed to go?54300:26:53.660 --> 00:26:59.240And then I, I did feel very overwhelmed by one, making that decision and not54400:26:59.240 --> 00:27:03.020being sure if I was going to commit to going back to school or pursuing this or54500:27:03.020 --> 00:27:04.260doing it at the same time.54600:27:04.460 --> 00:27:07.380And then also, you know, the more attention you get, absolutely.54700:27:07.580 --> 00:27:11.320I felt actually more paralyzed by the fear of what people would think of me,54800:27:11.360 --> 00:27:15.240the more I put out and the more that I shared and feeling like I started out54900:27:15.240 --> 00:27:17.300with this viral great video.55000:27:17.520 --> 00:27:18.980Most of the comments are really kind.55100:27:19.160 --> 00:27:20.720Some aren't, but most of them are.55200:27:21.340 --> 00:27:24.120And so feeling like the more you share, obviously like the more harsh it can55300:27:24.120 --> 00:27:24.320be.55400:27:24.460 --> 00:27:28.740And so I really was kind of a whirlwind over that year of deciding what it was55500:27:28.740 --> 00:27:29.780that I wanted to do.55600:27:30.040 --> 00:27:34.660And I ended up going back to school and getting my master's in social work.55700:27:34.820 --> 00:27:38.300I'm getting my certification in mental performance consulting and deciding that55800:27:38.300 --> 00:27:41.200I wanted to commit to that because it's what I wanted to do.55900:27:41.280 --> 00:27:44.480But then over that time, again, I thought the virality would down, down and I56000:27:44.480 --> 00:27:45.520still had speak engagements.56100:27:45.820 --> 00:27:50.020And so now I'm at a point in my life where I'm really, I feel more mature and56200:27:50.020 --> 00:27:53.940more ready and more grounded to really commit to the speaking and pursue that56300:27:53.940 --> 00:27:54.560as my calling.56400:27:54.700 --> 00:27:58.580Now that I've seen that it's, it's a message that's not just relevant because56500:27:58.580 --> 00:28:01.640it was so close to the time that it happened, but it's a message that's56600:28:01.640 --> 00:28:05.920relevant because so many people feel this way about feeling like they're56700:28:05.920 --> 00:28:09.380defined by something and just helping each other to remind one another that56800:28:09.380 --> 00:28:12.760we're more than that and give them a framework for how to even describe56900:28:12.760 --> 00:28:13.640themselves and others.57000:28:13.900 --> 00:28:18.220And so, you know, that discernment process really has been ongoing up until57100:28:18.220 --> 00:28:22.080almost a recent season in my life to say, I got my education.57200:28:22.260 --> 00:28:23.240I did what I wanted to do.57300:28:23.360 --> 00:28:25.880I feel more grounded in the message that I'm sharing.57400:28:26.000 --> 00:28:29.260And now I'm going to go actually pursue this as my calling as I had that57500:28:29.260 --> 00:28:30.340opportunity to build it.57600:28:30.520 --> 00:28:35.020So yeah, it's, it's been, I feel like a lot of people come, you know, they have57700:28:35.020 --> 00:28:35.680a lot of options.57800:28:35.680 --> 00:28:40.340And even on social media, we see a whole plethora of options we could go with57900:28:40.340 --> 00:28:40.760our lives.58000:28:40.880 --> 00:28:45.300And so that was a difficult discernment piece to say, do I want to be, am I58100:28:45.300 --> 00:28:47.340supposed to be big on social media, but that's not me.58200:28:47.440 --> 00:28:48.480That's not really my personality.58300:28:48.540 --> 00:28:51.260So I'm going to go in this direction and do more in person.58400:28:51.520 --> 00:28:54.680And if that answers your question, It absolutely does.58500:28:54.780 --> 00:28:58.520And I want to, I want to dive a little bit into like something you said, almost58600:28:58.520 --> 00:29:04.340as, as like, just like a totally random detail, but I thought was so important.58700:29:05.060 --> 00:29:09.800You said that, oh, you took a gap year, you applied to graduate schools, but58800:29:09.800 --> 00:29:10.820you didn't get in.58900:29:12.080 --> 00:29:12.560Thank you.59000:29:12.580 --> 00:29:14.440That's such a vulnerable thing to share.59100:29:14.620 --> 00:29:15.720Thank you for sharing that.59200:29:15.760 --> 00:29:20.460Because I think when we look at other people's lives, especially people who59300:29:20.460 --> 00:29:24.500have been successful and achieve things, it's really easy from the outside to59400:29:24.500 --> 00:29:26.140envision a straight line up.59500:29:26.720 --> 00:29:27.240Right.59600:29:27.320 --> 00:29:32.040But we all, we all encounter closed doors, but look at how your closed doors59700:29:32.040 --> 00:29:36.380were an open door to a different facet of a career that you would never imagine59800:29:36.380 --> 00:29:37.140for yourself.59900:29:38.300 --> 00:29:38.700Absolutely.60000:29:38.940 --> 00:29:39.520Thank you.60100:29:39.720 --> 00:29:40.580Yeah, absolutely.60200:29:42.280 --> 00:29:42.680Yeah.60300:29:42.860 --> 00:29:44.220I mean, so true.60400:29:44.380 --> 00:29:48.020You know, when we get rejected from some of those things, it feels personal and60500:29:48.020 --> 00:29:49.600it feels like, what am I going to do?60600:29:49.660 --> 00:29:50.640It stings, right?60700:29:50.760 --> 00:29:53.920It stings for all of us, no matter how many times you get rejected.60800:29:54.760 --> 00:29:55.020Yeah.60900:29:55.140 --> 00:29:58.400Well, it's crazy that a lot of those rejection letters came that February and I61000:29:58.400 --> 00:29:59.480applied to speak that March.61100:29:59.700 --> 00:30:04.040So it really just, you know, yeah, I'm so glad that you pointed that out.61200:30:04.400 --> 00:30:04.540Yeah.61300:30:04.600 --> 00:30:05.740And it wasn't a forever no.61400:30:05.860 --> 00:30:12.040You went back and you got your education, but the Lord had a timing for you.61500:30:12.280 --> 00:30:16.340And only through a closed door could He open doors that you didn't expect Him61600:30:16.340 --> 00:30:16.760to open.61700:30:16.880 --> 00:30:21.340I just, that seems like such an important part of your story, at least to me.61800:30:21.780 --> 00:30:23.720And so I just wanted to call it out.61900:30:23.960 --> 00:30:24.160All right.62000:30:24.240 --> 00:30:27.840One question for you on the comments that you received.62100:30:28.020 --> 00:30:32.580So I'm not surprised to hear that the vast majority of them are positive62200:30:32.580 --> 00:30:35.320because your story is so inspirational, right?62300:30:35.540 --> 00:30:40.400But even in your inspirational story, there are still like negative reactions.62400:30:41.460 --> 00:30:46.000And it seems like you have like a very, you have a healthy way of putting them62500:30:46.000 --> 00:30:48.540into the right place in the right context.62600:30:48.800 --> 00:30:50.920But can you just talk about that for a second?62700:30:51.160 --> 00:30:54.600Just like what it is you feel when you see a negative comment and how do you62800:30:54.600 --> 00:30:57.300like, do you process for putting it in the right place?62900:30:58.660 --> 00:30:58.960Absolutely.63000:30:59.320 --> 00:31:00.440This is a really good question.63100:31:00.540 --> 00:31:02.240I was actually just talking to somebody about this.63200:31:03.720 --> 00:31:08.200I think it shocked me when like the first time you see something say something63300:31:08.200 --> 00:31:11.600negative about you and they don't know you, it just kind of shocks you.63400:31:12.500 --> 00:31:17.980And I had really decided that like one of my things when I was getting all63500:31:17.980 --> 00:31:20.500those good comments was I was trying to respond to as many as possible.63600:31:20.620 --> 00:31:21.800I was like, thank you, thank you, thank you.63700:31:22.300 --> 00:31:26.060And when I got a negative one, I couldn't respond to all of them in general.63800:31:26.180 --> 00:31:29.400So I really decided I was like, well, for one, I'm not going to respond because63900:31:29.400 --> 00:31:32.700I'm not going to prioritize attention to the negative comments when all of64000:31:32.700 --> 00:31:34.960these other wonderful people are leaving me positive ones.64100:31:35.300 --> 00:31:38.460And I would so much rather prioritize that than this over here.64200:31:39.100 --> 00:31:41.600I think also the quote, I've heard it.64300:31:41.880 --> 00:31:46.180It's not mine, but just that if somebody doesn't have my phone number, then64400:31:46.180 --> 00:31:50.900they're not close enough to know me to give me that kind of like, if they don't64500:31:50.900 --> 00:31:54.020know me to have a problem with me, then I'm going to take that.64600:31:54.080 --> 00:31:58.460I'm going to ask the people in my closest circle for feedback and constructive64700:31:58.460 --> 00:31:59.780criticism and all of those things.64800:31:59.960 --> 00:32:02.740And so I had a support system also to talk it out with.64900:32:02.940 --> 00:32:07.200I had people in my life that I would bring it up to and talk about it with.65000:32:07.300 --> 00:32:10.420And so I didn't feel like I was carrying those negative comments alone.65100:32:10.860 --> 00:32:11.760And it did hit me.65200:32:11.820 --> 00:32:16.420I will say I'm someone that I think is pretty strong and can take those things,65300:32:16.480 --> 00:32:17.660but it also hurts your feelings.65400:32:17.760 --> 00:32:22.080And when you feel things very deeply, like it takes a second to not take it65500:32:22.080 --> 00:32:22.560personally.65600:32:22.940 --> 00:32:27.180And you really also just have compassion for that other person and just decide65700:32:27.180 --> 00:32:28.720that you're going to be neutral about it.65800:32:28.880 --> 00:32:31.840And just, you know, like that's a tough way to go through life to be negatively65900:32:31.840 --> 00:32:34.060commenting on other people's things when you don't know them.66000:32:34.320 --> 00:32:38.280And having a little bit, honestly, switching it back to gratitude, like we just66100:32:38.280 --> 00:32:41.240talked about, like, I'm really grateful that I've had people around me that66200:32:41.240 --> 00:32:45.260taught me how to look for the good and celebrate other people and be the good.66300:32:45.400 --> 00:32:49.060And not everybody has those influences in their life and those kinds of66400:32:49.060 --> 00:32:49.460examples.66500:32:49.760 --> 00:32:52.460So how lucky am I that that's how I get to go through life?66600:32:52.520 --> 00:32:54.080And I'm just going to try to not take it personally.66700:32:54.320 --> 00:32:57.280So a couple of different things that I guess I used to deal with it, or I just66800:32:57.280 --> 00:33:00.920put my phone away, I got to turn it off, go back in my real world for a little66900:33:00.920 --> 00:33:04.700bit and decide that it's way smaller than I'm making it.67000:33:05.400 --> 00:33:07.460Because, yeah, I mean, it hurts your feelings, 100%.67100:33:07.460 --> 00:33:11.660I mean, actually, especially, I was so in and out of the social media part of67200:33:11.660 --> 00:33:15.140it and posting and then completely reclusing from it and then posting and then67300:33:15.140 --> 00:33:20.100completely reclusing from it, like being fearful at 20, 21 years old of any67400:33:20.100 --> 00:33:25.940negativity and talking myself out of things for fear that people would judge67500:33:25.940 --> 00:33:28.920parts of my story that actually hurt or when somebody said something that felt67600:33:28.920 --> 00:33:32.000a little bit real, that those ones hurt the most.67700:33:32.200 --> 00:33:36.400And I almost had to tackle my insecurities before other people could.67800:33:36.540 --> 00:33:39.920So like writing down a list of things that I was insecure about in my softball67900:33:39.920 --> 00:33:43.340career and in what people were saying about me and the way that I looked, the68000:33:43.340 --> 00:33:47.440way that I sounded and almost like writing those things down in a journal and68100:33:47.440 --> 00:33:52.220saying, like, OK, now that I've addressed it myself, if somebody else does,68200:33:52.360 --> 00:33:55.240I've already I've already come to terms with my own insecurity.68300:33:55.440 --> 00:33:57.420So it's OK, if that makes sense.68400:33:57.620 --> 00:33:58.600It makes a ton of sense.68500:33:58.600 --> 00:34:02.940And you are so full of wisdom, Kelsey, like this this wisdom that you have is68600:34:02.940 --> 00:34:04.500hard won, but it is wisdom.68700:34:05.120 --> 00:34:10.600And like I said, I think there are people in their 40s, 50s, 60s who are68800:34:10.600 --> 00:34:14.219struggling with the very things that you've sort of you've walked through.68900:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.000I think it's important to say it hurts your feelings.69000:34:17.080 --> 00:34:18.100So thank you for saying that.69100:34:18.159 --> 00:34:24.219I think so many of us think like in order to operate at a certain level or be a69200:34:24.219 --> 00:34:26.880certain kind of professional, you almost have to have no feelings.69300:34:26.900 --> 00:34:28.040But that's not what it's about.69400:34:28.100 --> 00:34:29.580We want to be soft hearted.69500:34:29.820 --> 00:34:34.500Like that's what enables us to be gentle and compassionate, especially like as69600:34:34.500 --> 00:34:37.480faithful followers and as faith leaders.69700:34:37.980 --> 00:34:40.420But I like the strategies that you outlined.69800:34:40.719 --> 00:34:42.520The phone number test is so good.69900:34:43.300 --> 00:34:47.560If they don't have your phone number, then they probably don't have the70000:34:47.560 --> 00:34:49.840credibility to speak into your life.70100:34:49.880 --> 00:34:50.080Right.70200:34:50.100 --> 00:34:51.179That's a really good one.70300:34:51.639 --> 00:34:54.159So I'll be taking that one along with me.70400:34:54.940 --> 00:35:00.100So, Kelsey, you know that a lot of our listeners on this podcast are pastors or70500:35:00.100 --> 00:35:04.240ministry leaders who I think at first blush, most of us would think, oh, they70600:35:04.240 --> 00:35:05.020know their identity.70700:35:05.220 --> 00:35:08.460They don't struggle with identity issues like their pastors, their leaders in70800:35:08.460 --> 00:35:08.880the church.70900:35:08.960 --> 00:35:12.700But the truth is this is a struggle for every single one of us.71000:35:13.180 --> 00:35:17.100I feel as if this entire conversation has been a masterclass on identity.71100:35:17.560 --> 00:35:22.180But is is there anything else that you would call out if you were talking to71200:35:22.180 --> 00:35:27.960someone who's struggling with separating who they are from what they do?71300:35:28.700 --> 00:35:31.920Is there anything you haven't covered yet today that you'd want to say to that71400:35:31.920 --> 00:35:32.360person?71500:35:33.860 --> 00:35:36.120Oh, such a great question.71600:35:36.280 --> 00:35:39.700Yeah, I think especially for pastors and church leaders, like you commit so71700:35:39.700 --> 00:35:45.900much of your time and your mental space to others and to being present in your71800:35:45.900 --> 00:35:47.980work from what I've seen and I've heard.71900:35:48.940 --> 00:35:52.300Obviously, I'm not a pastor, but just, you know, listening to some others'72000:35:52.420 --> 00:35:52.880experiences.72100:35:53.140 --> 00:35:57.740And so I would say one, giving yourself compassion for your identity being72200:35:57.740 --> 00:36:00.560wrapped up in that, because it's where you spend your time and all those other72300:36:00.560 --> 00:36:00.860things.72400:36:01.000 --> 00:36:05.360And I would say, I think I covered this, but really just emphasizing making a72500:36:05.360 --> 00:36:08.980list of all the qualities that you have that are put on display through your72600:36:08.980 --> 00:36:13.880work, because when you can really focus on, okay, when I'm listening to others72700:36:13.880 --> 00:36:18.880in my congregation, I'm being patient, I'm being sensitive, maybe72800:36:18.880 --> 00:36:23.880understanding, accepting, and really finding those attributes that are coming72900:36:23.880 --> 00:36:28.480out in the work that you do can help you to really, that's the identity of you73000:36:28.480 --> 00:36:29.980as a person and your character.73100:36:30.760 --> 00:36:34.680And I think that just helps us to really reframe, not tying it to where it's73200:36:34.680 --> 00:36:38.100being output so that when it does change or that when we do feel a little bit73300:36:38.100 --> 00:36:41.460burnt out or wrapped up in it, you're able to just come back to like where it's73400:36:41.460 --> 00:36:44.600coming from in your heart and that can, that can't be taken away from you.73500:36:45.080 --> 00:36:45.640That's so good.73600:36:45.960 --> 00:36:46.540Thank you, Kelsey.73700:36:46.880 --> 00:36:47.760All right, last question.73800:36:48.280 --> 00:36:49.860What, what is next for you?73900:36:49.940 --> 00:36:50.320Oh my goodness.74000:36:50.500 --> 00:36:56.300So I, more speaking, I am really trying to book out my speaking for 2026.74100:36:56.780 --> 00:37:01.000I'm getting, hopefully will be getting my certification in mental performance74200:37:01.000 --> 00:37:05.940consulting in the next few months through the Applied Sports Psychology Board.74300:37:06.120 --> 00:37:09.480So that is something that I've been really pursuing, but really wanting to take74400:37:09.480 --> 00:37:13.200that and work with all kinds of people and really apply it to some of my74500:37:13.200 --> 00:37:19.640speaking, working with businesses, teams, colleges, students, churches all74600:37:19.640 --> 00:37:19.980over.74700:37:20.200 --> 00:37:23.700So really as I finish the certification, it will be getting back on the74800:37:23.700 --> 00:37:27.080speaking train and really trying to travel and just spread the message.74900:37:27.180 --> 00:37:28.140I love it.75000:37:28.380 --> 00:37:28.880I love it.75100:37:28.960 --> 00:37:32.140So if we have a listener who wants to get in touch with you about a speaking75200:37:32.140 --> 00:37:34.520engagement, where can they find you?75300:37:35.480 --> 00:37:35.580Yes.75400:37:35.600 --> 00:37:35.760Okay.75500:37:35.820 --> 00:37:39.480So the best place to find me would be my website, which is Kelsey O'Connor.com75600:37:39.480 --> 00:37:43.760or my social medias are Kelsey O'Connor 6, and they can just send me a message.75700:37:43.920 --> 00:37:45.300I always look at them.75800:37:45.840 --> 00:37:47.500Especially if they're positive, right, Kelsey?75900:37:47.760 --> 00:37:48.100Yes.76000:37:49.000 --> 00:37:49.360Perfect.76100:37:49.460 --> 00:37:51.140And we'll include all of those in the show notes.76200:37:51.380 --> 00:37:53.600Thank you so much, Kelsey, for coming on the podcast.76300:37:53.880 --> 00:37:55.920It was really a joy getting to know you.76400:37:55.980 --> 00:37:58.320And I know that this conversation is going to bless our audience.76500:37:59.160 --> 00:37:59.640Thank you.76600:37:59.800 --> 00:38:01.000Oh my gosh, I really appreciate it.76700:38:01.000 --> 00:38:03.540You just have such a wonderful energy and I'm so glad to have been here.76800:38:03.640 --> 00:38:04.080Thank you.76900:38:04.180 --> 00:38:04.780Thank you.